Chapter 36

36

XAVIER

T here was pressure on my back, the right side of my face was flat against the ground, and dust in my lungs. I coughed but kept my eyes closed against the choking particles. Everything ached, a heavy weight pinning me awkwardly to the ground. Yet, by the grace of some miracle, I'd survived.

Roman…

Working against the throbbing in my limbs and the cloying dust, I pushed against the thing crushing me to the floor. It resisted, only moving a few inches.

I took a pause, drenched in sweat and determination. I would not die here, and Roman would not die in those flames. We were meant to be together, our bodies and souls designed to be as one.

I loved him.

He loved me.

Death could not compete with that.

With Roman's face burning in my mind, I pushed and pushed and pushed. Failed and tried again, straining every muscle, never breaking my focus. If I stayed here, I didn't get to see him. If I stayed here, it meant giving up.

And I would never give up.

On the fiftieth attempt, I gained some ground. The thing pinning me not only moved but kept going. It galvanized me into the final push, using everything I had to be free. It slid off my back, tearing through what was left of my top, scraping some skin off with it.

I stretched out some of the ache from my body, the dust beginning to clear. Gold flakes fell past my face, the parade coming back into view.

What was left of it.

A sea of debris lay before me, chunks of the sky scattered everywhere. Every building was crushed under the fall, their remains scattered amongst the broken ruins and flickering pixels. Blue stars shone in the gap above, the remaining part of this realm's sky full of pixels. No human or demon moved. Everyone was dead.

Apart from one man.

He stood there in a small, miraculous circle covered in dust. It was as if fate smiled on him.

Ismael. A trembling, terrified Ismael.

His eyes found me. "Xa—" He coughed violently, hunching over.

My hands balled into tight fists at the sight of him. It was just him and me now, the final showdown here.

Ismael regained composure, shaking some of the dust from his hair. "Xavier…"

"I told you this would happen."

"I…" He looked down at himself. "I…" His hands became fists too as he returned his gaze to me. "You did this."

"Sorry?"

"You did this to me."

My forehead creased into a frown. "Butterfly did this."

He began navigating across the debris, stumbling every other step. "Do you loathe me so much you would deny me my dreams?"

He'd lost all reason.

"Well? What do you have to say?" He slipped, cracking his knees on a jagged piece of rock. "Xavier!"

A faded part of me called out to go and help him.

I stomped it out of existence.

Ismael got back up, black blood blooming in the material around his injured knee.

"You never loved me, Xavier." He continued, stumbling closer. I watched him struggle, braced for a fight.

"Where was the support? Where was the love? What happened to my consort?"

Closer.

Closer.

Closer.

Ismael pulled a curved blade from his coat. "You forgot our days of pleasure and romance. You forgot about me."

He was mere feet away now, the blade glinting as he raised it above his head.

"As far as I'm concerned," he practically whispered, "you are dead."

Ismael leaped through the air, releasing a bloodthirsty scream. I dove to the side before his weapon skewered my head, performing a forward roll across debris. Jutting corners cut my hands and sliced into my arms. I ignored the warm sensation of flowing blood, spinning to face my ex.

His eyes were wild with rage, lips curled into a snarl. He charged at me again, lashing out with the blade.

"Just die!" he screamed, shocking my ears.

He took advantage of my surprise, landing a stab into my left shoulder and twisted the blade, laughing as he tore my flesh.

I growled, smacking him in the face with a right hook. He staggered backwards, taking the blade with him. His arms pinwheeled and he lost his balance, falling hard on his backside.

He screamed out his wrath, jumping back onto his feet. I delivered a kick into his chest. He went back down, landing awkwardly on his right arm. I heard it break, his wail sickening.

"No!" he bellowed. "No! No! No!"

He scrambled across the debris, searching for his blade. I couldn't see it myself.

"You will not have me!" He picked up a rock and threw it. I ducked just in time.

This was it. My enemy on the floor. The man I used to love. I had to kill him here if I wanted to get to Roman. Because he would never stop.

Old feelings resurrected the part of myself I'd just stomped on.

"I don't want to kill you," I said.

Even after this, I couldn't see myself taking his life. It was bad enough hurting him.

He spat blood. "Nonsense. You hate me."

"I don't hate you."

"Liar!" he screamed. "Do it! Kill me! Let me see the monster you truly are."

I was the monster?

Rather than argue with him, I asked a question. "Where is Butterfly?"

He grinned, his teeth stained with black blood. "Oh, Xavier."

"Well?"

He slowly got to his feet, holding another piece of rock in his bleeding hand, his broken arm dangled uselessly at his other side. "I will have this world. I will rule…" He trailed off, the blue flames around the parade dissipating. "What… What did you do?"

I sunk into a sea of relief and anxiety. The loss of icy fire meant Andri was incapacitated. Or dead. But what about Roman? Was he free and alive, or dead under the fallen sky?

My stomach roiled, my love for him rejecting any notions of loss.

"Andri…" Ismael said. "He has only just begun transforming this world."

"It's over," I returned. "Tell me where Butterfly is."

He spat more blood, his scowl hot and furious. "So you can live happily ever after while I sleep in the lake?" His nostrils flared, his grip visibly tightening on that rock. "Never. I would rather the world end than allow you happiness!"

Ismael launched himself at me, swinging the rock. I was finally done with him, his madness stopping me from getting to Roman, that part of himself died again. I stopped his swing, the impact inches away from cracking my jaw.

He might be fast, but I was stronger.

I snapped his wrist. He howled, the rock falling free. He spat in my face, kicking my shins.

"You—"

I snapped his neck.

Time slowed, everything falling under a heavy silence for me to observe my action. My necessary action.

Ismael's body went limp in my arms. I held him, his head drooping to the side. His dead eyes stared up at me, so vacant and cold.

My own eyes filled with tears, my hearts tightening with a sorrow I could never deny.

"I did love you," I whispered. "But you… You can't be here. You can't be awake anymore."

The first of my tears broke free, splashing his cheek like ink dripping from the tip of a leaky pen.

"When time is fixed, you can sleep again," I told him, lowering his body to the ground. "Be at peace." I kissed my fingers, holding them out to him, meaning every word.

"Xavier!"

I blinked at the corpse of my lost love. "Did you?—"

"Xavier!" Roman yelled again.

My feet burst into action.