Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

L ogan yawned and stretched, enjoying the spark of surprise he felt when he sensed the warmth of a body beside him. His wolf purred as the feminine form pressed closer to him in sleep and he peeked his eyes open, still not sure if he was dreaming or if it was real. But there she was, in bed with him, or rather, he was in bed with her.

Wren had taken him home with her from the hospital late last night after the doctors had finally come out to talk to them. They'd said Vivian and the baby were both stable and there was nothing else they could do but wait for her to wake up. Dominic had promised not to leave her side which was a situation he didn't want to even think about right now.

Not when he had his naked mate, warm and sleepy, pressed against him.

Wren had taken care of him last night. She'd taken him home with her and pushed him into the bathroom. She'd helped him strip off his bloody clothes and then stepped into the warm spray of water with him, cleaning them both and washing away their past as she did.

She had been soft and sweet with him in a way that was completely at odds with the Wren he'd come to know over the past week. Instead of the fire of anger or even passion that seemed to always be crackling between them, there had been warmth and comfort. Her quiet attention had broken something in his chest, or put it back together. He couldn't be sure. He just knew that how he felt about her was bigger than anything he'd ever imagined.

After their shower, Wren had tucked him into her bed and then crawled in next to him. She'd held him as though she was afraid he was going to leave her again. He hadn't been able to find the words to tell her that was never going to happen again. For the first time in a really long time, he felt whole and he knew it was because he was in love with his fated mate.

"Stop staring at me like a creep."

Logan smirked when her sleep roughened voice knocked him out of his thoughts. She still had her eyes closed and he chuckled. He pulled her closer, until she was draped over him.

"There's my little thornbird."

She cracked an eye open to look up at him, "Are you sure the doctors don't need to check you out? You seem a little concussed to me."

He twirled a strand of her jet black hair around his finger, "You brought me home to your bed and slept with me. Maybe you're the one suffering a brain injury?"

"Possibly. I'm certain Raven thinks so after seeing us walk in the door together last night.." she admitted.

"She really didn't need to leave."

"She just wanted to give us some time alone. She'll come home later. It'll be fine." She stretched and then adjusted so she could prop herself up on one elbow and look down at him. "How are you?"

"I don't know."

She frowned, "You said you'd tell me the truth from now on. Remember?"

"That is the truth." he admitted. "I don't know how to feel. Vivian's still unconscious and it's my fault. Dad's dead and that's my fault too. My family is in shambles but I finally feel… free."

"Because your dad is dead?"

"Because my dad wasn't the man the people in this pack thought he was and now, he can't control me or them anymore. The truth can finally come out."

Wren sat up, pulling a sheet around her breasts, "The rumors about him pursuing younger women. They popped up every few years but then went quiet again so fast. I didn't give it much thought but… it was true, wasn't it?"

"There were rumors?"

"A few, here and there over the years, like I said. They were usually shut down pretty quickly and I figured it was just that, rumors, but…"

"But?" He raised an eyebrow.

"But I never felt completely comfortable being alone with him and then you came back and freaked when you found out I was working for him. I didn't realize it until it was too late but you were trying to protect me when you told him to fire me."

"I couldn't stand the idea of you being in that office with him, alone at all hours, not when I knew what he was capable of."

"I'm sorry I couldn't see the truth through the blinders I had on when it came to you."

"And I'm sorry I couldn't find any way to tell you, to really help you. I should have stopped him before he ever had a chance to get close to you but the moment I saw you come out of that office crying, I knew I couldn't let him continue his reign of terror even one more day."

"Will you tell me what happened when you went inside?" She bit her lip and he sighed.

"He was bleeding and spitting mad because you'd gotten the better of him. I tried to be reasonable and asked him to step down, to let me take the pack peacefully, after all, that's why he called me home, but he was too angry to be logical. I warned him and instead of heeding my warning, he taunted me into snapping. I launched myself at him and I swear, for a second there, the bastard smiled."

"You think he wanted you to fight him for the pack?"

"I don't know. Maybe. But I'm done trying to figure out what went on in his sick head." Logan rubbed his eyes, "So, anyway, I hit him and then I hit him again and again because once I started to release all the anger I'd been holding back, I couldn't stop."

There was a long pause but he knew better than to think she was done with her questions. Not Wren. Not his mate. She was as curious as a kitten and he had promised her the truth so he waited until she spoke again.

Her voice was softer now, "What happened to Vivian?"

"She tried to stop the fight. She jumped on him to try and get him off me and he swung around to shrug her off. When he did, she lost her grip and fell. She hit her head on the corner of the desk and the crack was so loud… it felt like my world just stopped."

"That must have been awful." She reached out and smoothed a strand of his hair.

"I spent most of my life taking care of Viv. She's my little sister but in so many ways, I raised her too. Our parents were never really involved in our upbringing and then, once we left, it was just me and her against the world. Seeing her lying there, bloody and unconscious, I thought she was dead and some part of me wanted to die too."

"Oh, Logan."

"I probably would have killed him with my bare hands at that moment but I didn't get the chance. When I looked back at him he grabbed his chest and stumbled away before he fell over. Heart attack, which is ironic I guess because I never thought he had a heart to begin with."

Wren was worrying her bottom lip again and he reached out and freed it from her teeth.

"What is it?"

"It's just… nobody in the pack really knew he was ill but you said he called you home to take over the pack. Did you know he was sick then?"

He snorted, "No. I only came home because Dominic told me he was dead."

"What? Why would Dominic do that?"

"Because he had to. Dad used his Alpha voice to force him to lie to me. He knew it was the only way to get me back here."

"But if he wasn't ready to give you the pack, why did he force you to come back now?"

"That's what I've been trying to figure out since I got here." he admitted. "I think it came down to him wanting to make sure I'd stay in line once he was gone. He showed me a letter from a pack in Louisiana that's trying to form an Alliance. He was opposed to it of course and he wanted me to follow in his footsteps and keep the pack solitary and insulated."

Wren looked thoughtful, "He was trying to protect his legacy by bringing you back into the fold."

"Yeah, I think so. But he realized fairly quickly just how much I hated him and that I wouldn't keep his secrets once his power over me disappeared."

"He silenced you, didn't he? About what you knew, about what he did. Not just with the other females of the pack but… Lark?"

The way she said her sister's name had him sitting up in bed so they were face to face, "Yes."

Her dark eyes studied him intently, "He's the reason Lark's dead, isn't he? It wasn't you. It was him."

"Wren, I need you to hear me out. Can you do that?" He swallowed hard when she nodded. "I've thought about that night a lot, probably more than is healthy to be honest but I couldn't talk about it with anyone so… anyway, I've replayed it over and over and the truth is, it was my fault."

Wren's eyes widened and he hurried on.

"I knew what my father was like. I'd put together what he was doing with the younger females of the pack a year or so before and I'd told my mom, thinking she would put a stop to it." he groaned, "She told me she'd talked to him, taken care of it, but I don't think she did. I don't think she was strong enough to stand up to him, even then. I spent a long time blaming her for not stopping him."

"Maybe she tried." Wren offered quietly. "Maybe he silenced her too?"

"Maybe." he conceded with a nod. "But the point is, I knew how he was and I kept bringing Lark to the house anyway. She was my girlfriend. I didn't think he'd cross that line but Lark, well, she was Lark. She was wild and funny and carefree. She lit up a room and made whoever she was with feel special. Being with her, it was like I was dangling a mouse under a cat's nose."

Wren's face was twisted with pain, "He attacked her?"

Logan took a deep breath, knowing this conversation was only about to become more difficult for the both of them. Wren watched him intently, but she didn't press. She waited until he was ready and let him put the words together in his head before he started to speak again.

"The thing is, he could be charming when he wanted to be. They had that much in common. He paid attention to her, made her feel important. I don't know much, only what she told me, but he'd apparently convinced her that he cared about her, that he would leave my mom to be with her, that they could rule the pack together. It was a lie of course but Lark was only seventeen and he was a grown man, the Pack Alpha. She was naive and he took advantage of that."

"Are you saying…" Wren looked horrified, "She was with him willingly?"

"It doesn't make it right. She was still underage and he abused his position of power but, she wanted him too. She told me that night."

"She told you that she was having an affair… with your father, on the night she died?"

Logan winced, "It sounds bad when you say it like that, but yes."

Wren reached for his hand, "I know you didn't kill her, Logan. I know you now and I know how wrong that assumption was. I just need to know what happened when she told you."

He breathed out and realized he'd been holding his breath. She'd said before that she realized she had been wrong about him but he couldn't help but worry that she still harbored doubts. Her reassurance meant more to him than she would ever know.

"We got into an argument that night." he admitted. "I was nineteen. She was only seventeen but we'd been together for long enough… I set up a romantic night for us. Mom and Dad were at some town event. Vivian was having a sleepover with a friend. It was going to be just the two of us and I figured she might finally want to.. Well…"

"Have sex?" Wren tilted her head.

He cleared his throat, "Yeah."

"You two hadn't had sex?"

He shook his head and her brows furrowed.

"But she told me stories, about things she'd done, sneaking around, nearly getting caught. You were her boyfriend so I assumed…" Wren looked sick. "It wasn't you. It was him."

Logan closed his eyes, the realization still somehow managing to hurt even after all this time, even knowing she hadn't been his fated mate. She had been his first love. She would always have a place in his heart because of that, even if he had grown to resent her too.

"When I tried to coax her into more than kissing she got all upset and we argued, like I said. Eventually she told me she was in love with someone else. I was devastated. As far as I knew, she was going to turn eighteen and the mate bond would kick in and we'd be together forever. She broke my heart but when I pressed her on who he was she eventually came clean. I realized just how sick the whole thing was when she told me she had only stayed with me so long because it gave her easier access to be around my father."

Wren had her hand on her mouth again so he rushed on.

"I told her she was delusional if she thought he was going to leave my mom, his fated mate, his Queen, for some teenage girl. I thought I could get through to her, even if I couldn't win her back, but then she told me she was pregnant."

"Oh god, no." Wren swayed slightly and he grabbed her in case she was going to faint. A tear trickled down her cheek. "She was pregnant when she died?"

He nodded.

"What happened then?" she insisted, still crying.

"I walked away. I was so angry, so hurt. I couldn't stand to look at her. I loved her and she'd been sleeping with my father, and was going to have my father's baby. A baby that would be my half sibling." He shook his head, "I grabbed a bottle of vodka out of the fridge on my way out and I just started walking and drinking, trying to make sense of the fact the life I'd planned for myself had just blown up in my face."

"She didn't go after you?"

"No. And that was the last time I saw her alive. Standing on the side of the pool, hands on her hips and chin up as if I was the one who had ruined everything." He scowled. "That was Lark. She could give you the best or the worst day of your life and you never knew which it would be with her."

"Yeah, I remember that feeling too. Like, if she was in a good mood then her light would shine so bright it would warm you too, but when she had a bad day, she could eviscerate you with nothing but a look and a couple well placed insults designed to cut you down to size." Wren must have seen him raise his eyebrow because she squeezed his hand, "She was my older sister and I loved her but I wasn't blind to her faults, not then and not now."

He squeezed her hand in return, "You sure you want me to keep going? I could stop there."

"No, I need to know."

Logan hated that answer but he nodded.

"I remember when I was walking down the driveway that my father was coming up to it in his truck. He stopped, asked me what the hell I was doing. He got all pissy that I'd taken his vodka and I said something stupid, something like, that was nothing compared to what he'd taken from me. He stopped yelling then and I kept walking even when he peeled out towards the house." he groaned, "Maybe if I'd kept my mouth shut or if I'd gone back right then and there, maybe she'd still be alive."

"Hey." Wren tilted his chin with her finger so their eyes met. "Whatever he did, it wasn't your fault."

"It feels like it is, even now."

"That's because you're a good man, Logan Kemp. You're nothing like your father."

"God I hope that's true." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead before repositioning them on the bed so he could hold her in his arms. "Because I don't know exactly what happened next but I have a theory."

"Tell me." She nudged him on.

"I think he went back to the house mad as hell because she'd revealed their affair to me. They fought. Maybe he threatened to end it and she told him she was pregnant. Whatever happened, he snapped. Maybe he pushed her and she hit her head like Vivian did today. Maybe she was unconscious when she went into the water. Or maybe he held her under. I really don't know but I've imagined the worst a million times or more. I can't be sure but we both know he wasn't above violence."

"You have to stop blaming yourself."

"I can't, Wren. I can't. Because no matter how many scenarios I've imagined over the years it always comes back to the fact that I didn't protect her from him. I put her in front of him. I made her a target. And when I found out what she'd done, I left her there and gave him the chance to do what he did."

"Logan…"

"Don't stop hating me now, Wren. I'm not sure I could take it."

She smiled softly and stroked his cheek, "Too late."

"I don't deserve you." He nuzzled his face in her hair. "You can't really forgive me that easily."

"Of course I can, because all I've ever wanted was the truth and now I have it. I know who killed Lark and it wasn't you. Whatever you did that night, it was Lark's poor choices that put her in that situation and it was your father who took advantage of her and ultimately murdered her. You had nothing to do with it and I hate that I spent all this time blaming you."

"I blamed myself."

"That's why you left? Because you knew the truth but he made sure you couldn't tell anyone?"

"I had to get away from him and once I left, life was easier. I could forget about the monster who had raised me, about the woman I loved who betrayed me. I didn't have to be the presumed guilty boyfriend of the dead girl or the heir apparent. I could be someone else entirely and just live my life. And I thought it was a good life, right up until Dominic called and said the bastard was dead, until I came home and discovered it was a lie, like everything else, until I scented you and realized Lark had never been my fated mate to begin with and everything I thought I knew was wrong."

"I was terrible to you."

"I deserved it. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of us being together at first either."

"And now?" She looked up at him through dark lashes.

"Now I can't imagine my life without you and I really hope you feel the same way."

She chewed on her bottom lip, looking thoughtful.

"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we can start over?"

"No."

She winced but he tilted her chin up.

"The past is part of us. It's our history. But it doesn't have to be our future. We get to decide that. Together. If that's what you want?"

"In case you've forgotten, we're mates now, Alpha. You're not getting rid of me."

"You'll be my Queen then?"

"I thought I already was?"

"Not yet, thornbird." He booped her nose, trying to lighten the mood and she smacked his hand away, causing him to chuckle. "In case you've forgotten, we haven't completed the bond yet. There's still one thing left for us to do, if it's what you really want."

"Our wolves." She nodded. "They have to mate too for the circle to be sealed. Two halves. One whole."

"We can wait until the full moon, wait until things settle a little and take some time to get to really know one another better…"

Wren crawled out of the bed and rolled her eyes, "My wolf is done waiting, Logan."

"Thank god. Because mine is about to crawl out of my skin."

She grinned, "You want to shift together or…"

He shook his head, "You go first. I want to see her. And then I want to claim you the way our kind has for generations."

"Deal." She turned and opened the window. "So we can get out and then back in."

"Smart girl."

Logan watched from his place on the bed as his beautiful mate took a deep breath and then let it out, giving control to her animal side. Her bones snapped and popped just as they did for every shift. She twisted and her face contorted for a moment, making him wish he had some magical ability to take away her pain, but then that look disappeared entirely and when he blinked again a gorgeous black and tan wolf stood before him with golden glowing eyes.

He marveled as she gave a shake, adjusting to her new surroundings. She tilted her head at him and then moved closer, nuzzling her face against his arm until he pet her head. She made a loud purring noise and his heart filled with an emotion so powerful it nearly undid him.

"Such a pretty girl." He met the wolf's golden gaze and smiled as he let his own wolf climb to the surface, "And mine, all mine."