Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

W ren felt him like he was a part of her. Because he was. They were one now in a way that only mated couples could be and it made her feel whole for maybe the first time in her life. It was a feeling that terrified her and left her feeling guilty and ashamed.

She had spent so long claiming that she would avenge her sister. She'd sworn that she hated this man. She'd promised herself that she would get to the truth before she let herself give in to the mating heat. But she hadn't done any of those things and now she was tied to him for eternity and she still didn't know if she could truly trust him.

"Shit." Logan muttered as he stared down at her and she felt her hackles go up instantly.

"Regret usually waits until the morning after." she lashed out and he jerked back in response, his eyes narrowing.

"I don't regret what we did but I hate that you're crying about it."

"Crying?" She reached up and touched her cheek, finding it damp.

Wren blinked, surprised to find her vision clearing from what, apparently, hadn't been the haze of great sex but rather tears. She hadn't even known she was crying. Yet the evidence was all over her face and the wariness in Logan's gaze proved it.

He reached out to catch a stray tear that dropped from her lashes and she smacked his hand away.

He growled, "Stop that."

"You stop." she hissed. "I don't need you wiping my tears like I'm some kind of helpless heroine."

Logan groaned, "How is it that literally everything and nothing has changed between us?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, we're mated now and you're still fighting me." He reached down and grabbed his pants from around his ankles, angrily pulling them up over his hips. "In case that throbbing in your neck isn't enough of a reminder, I bit you and you bit me so all the snapping and snarling at me you've been doing is pointless now. We're mates."

Wren didn't need the reminder. She could still feel the heat of his mark as her shifter genetics worked to heal her so that all that would be left soon was the scar that told the world she was his. She could see her own matching mark on Logan's chest and knew he was experiencing the same sensation. Plus, she could feel her wolf pacing beneath her skin, waiting for her turn to meet Logan's wolf who was doing the same, waiting for their turn to make their claim.

Logan zipped his pants with a huff and Wren felt suddenly exposed in her own nakedness. She pushed Logan a little to get him to move back and he glared at her but gave her room to slide off the counter. When she landed on her feet she could feel the wetness between her legs leak down her thighs and from the flare of Logan's nostrils and the way his eyes surged gold with his wolf, he smelled the proof of their mating in the mixture of sex and their scents too.

She felt a blush color her cheeks and glanced around, "Where's my shirt?"

"Here." He bent over again and snagged it off the floor, handing it to her.

He was still watching her intently as she used the old t-shirt to wipe between her legs. She cleaned herself up as best as she could and when she glanced back up and caught his jaw twitching she raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"That was your shirt. What're you going to wear now?"

She rolled her eyes, "It's my house. I have other shirts."

"Yeah, well, I'm assuming you also have a bed but…"

"Oh, don't start." She snatched her panties and shorts off the floor and slammed one leg after another into them.

"What?"

"What? You tell me. What's your obsession with getting me in a bed? We're wolf shifters. Our animals have sex in the woods for crying out loud."

"We're not our animals." He glared at her. "And forgive me for wanting to make your first time comfortable."

She crossed her arms over her breasts and straightened her back, "Who says it was my first time?"

His eyes glowed gold with his wolf again and he took a step towards her before he seemed to get control and stop himself. He closed his eyes and sucked in a long breath. He let it out and when he opened his eyes again they were back to their normal, beautiful, hazel shade of greens and golds.

"Were you with others? Men who weren't your mate?"

"How is that any of your business?"

"Because you're mine!" he yelled but she only quirked an eyebrow.

"Wow. Possessive much?"

"Wren…" he started but she held up a hand.

"Don't you dare get all high and mighty with me. You weren't some perfectly preserved virgin. In fact, you shared a bed with my sister once upon a time, didn't you?"

His jaw twitched, "Don't bring Lark into this."

The fury that had been slowly receding whenever she thought of him and her sister made a roaring comeback. She hated the idea of him with anyone else, even Lark, especially Lark. She hated that Lark had had him first when he was meant to be hers and she hated herself for the jealousy she still felt when it came to her dead sister.

"Bring her into this?" Wren scoffed. "She's right in the middle of this, in the middle of us. She always has been!"

His voice got lower when her own went high, "No. This is about you and me."

"And Lark. She's part of this. You can't convince me that she isn't. She was my big sister and she was your girlfriend. You haven't forgotten about her any more than I have."

"Of course I haven't forgotten about her. Fucking hell, Wren. What do you want from me? Do you want me to say that I still think about Lark sometimes? That I still wonder what my life would be like if she was alive? I do. I think about her because she was my first love and I thought she was going to be my mate and the mother to my children… but fate had other plans for her, for all of us, and none of it worked out the way I thought it was going to."

Something inside Wren's chest squeezed tight at his words but she kept her chin up because this was what she wanted. She wanted to fight with him. She wanted to take her anger out on someone other than herself. She wanted the truth.

"She was the love of your life." She didn't phrase it as a question.

"Yes." he snapped and then seemed to realize what he'd said and shook his head. "No. She wasn't my mate. You are."

"But you wish it had been her."

"Don't do this." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "Don't push me away."

That's exactly what she was trying to do and she hated that he seemed to understand her so well. Still, it didn't dissuade her. She shivered, wishing she'd put the t-shirt on after all and Logan snarled.

"Jesus, Wren. Put on a damn shirt if you're going to stand here and fight with me." He picked up his own t-shirt and held it out to her.

She snatched it and slipped it over her head. It was too big and it smelled like him but at least her boobs weren't waving at him. She was thankful for the kind gesture even as she shook her head.

"You didn't answer me."

"Because it was a stupid question." He shoved his arms into his button down.

"It's okay. You don't have to answer. Trust me, I get it. Lark's the one everyone wishes was still here. Hell, for a long time, I wished I could have traded places with her. My parents would have let me too because Lark was the only daughter they ever needed."

His brows furrowed, "I'm sorry they treated you like that. You deserved better. You still do."

"I thought if I could find out the truth of what happened to her that I might finally be able to move on, that my family might be able to move on, but it's been years and I still don't have any answers, Logan." She swallowed hard. "But now you're here. You're back and if you really want to convince me that this bond between us is real, then you'll help me heal and put Lark behind us. You'll tell me what really happened that night."

She watched as the color drained from his face. The air between them felt as if it actually chilled. The heat of their mating was gone now. His eyes weren't heated with passion anymore and she could feel the shift in his emotions through the bond. Sadness and grief she'd expected but the anger she felt was harder to place as belonging to her or him.

"Dammit Wren." He swiped his hands over his face and turned away from her. She thought he was going to simply walk out the door but he didn't move. He just kept his back to her as he shook his head, as if he couldn't bear to face her at that moment. "I told you already… I can't give you the answers you want."

"I just want the truth, Logan." She reached for his arm and forced him to turn back to her. She studied his face when he did but she couldn't decipher the roiling mix of emotions and expressions she saw there. "I know the story my family was told about that night was a lie."

"You don't know that."

"I do." she snapped. "Because there is absolutely no way that Lark drowned. She was a strong swimmer."

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, "Wren, don't…"

"If she fell in and hit her head why didn't you pull her out?"

"Don't do this." He looked like he was in physical pain and Wren squeezed his arm tighter to keep him from backing away.

"Talk to me!"

"I don't want to talk about Lark."

"Why?" she demanded.

"Maybe because I just fucked you, bit you and claimed you as my mate so talking about your sister and my history with her feels wrong."

"Liar." She glared up at him. "We're mated now. I can feel you through the bond. I can hear your heart pounding. I can see the tension in your muscles. I can feel the panic that is coursing through you, Logan. That all happened as soon as I mentioned Lark."

"Because I don't want to talk about her. It's not that hard to understand."

"Help me understand!" she begged. "I need to know what happened to Lark that night!"

"Why?" He jerked his arm free of her and a surge of anger hit her like a wave. "What will it change? Nothing. She's gone. I can't change that. Neither can you. Just let the past be the past."

"I can't."

"And I can't talk about it. I can't, Wren. I'd tell you if I could, but I can't."

"Liar." She shoved him and he stepped back. "Tell me."

She reached up to shove him again but he caught her wrists and held onto her. She struggled against his hold but he was strong. He pulled her against him and trapped her hands against his chest. He used one hand to hold her wrists together and the other to hold her chin when she tried to turn her head away from him.

"Wren, please. Stop fighting me." His eyes pleaded desperately.

"I just want the truth. I need to know if my mate is responsible for my sister's death. Why don't you get that?"

"Oh God… Wren…" He swiped at her cheek, and she sniffled, realizing she was crying again. "You already know she's dead because of me. It's my fault she's gone and I've spent the past six years hating myself for it. I told you that. I told you to go ahead and hate me for it too. I deserve it."

"And I deserve the truth! Because there's more to it than that and I know it. I know something happened that night and as much as I want to blame you, I don't think you killed her. Not anymore. And maybe that's the bond making me weak, making me falter, because I don't want to hate you anymore. I don't want to think the worst of you. But I need to know the truth or how else can I be with you?"

When she pulled against his grip this time he let go of her and she stumbled back from him. She wiped at her cheeks, hating that he'd seen her cry this time. Hating that he kept making her cry in the first place. When she was able to see through the new round of tears she saw the defeat written clearly on his face and her breath caught.

"Wren, I need you to hear me when I say I can't tell you anything else about that night. I wish I could. I wish I could give you all the answers you need and deserve. I wish there was a way, but there's not. At least not right now and I'm more sorry for that than you know. I'm sorry for all of it."

"For lying to me or for claiming me?"

"For all of it. For Lark. For coming back here. For sparking the bond between us and for letting the mating heat take over when I knew that claiming you would only cause you more pain. I wish I'd been stronger then. I wish I was stronger now."

"Then be stronger. Be honest with me."

"I am. And I'm sorry it isn't enough. Give me time. Please. I can tell you…" He coughed and winced. Wren felt a strange tightening in her chest, as if her airflow was being restricted. She put a hand to her chest and forced a deep breath. Logan's eyes widened with what appeared to be horror. "Did you just… did you feel that?"

"Was that you?" She frowned back at him. "What was that?"

"Oh fuck. Wren. The bond… I didn't think…" He groaned and pulled at his hair, "Dammit, everything I do hurts you. I'm sorry. Just… I have to go but I'll figure this out. You'll be okay. We both will. I'll make sure of it."

He turned to leave and she shook her head even though he couldn't see her, "Logan! Logan wait…"

He didn't. He opened the door and walked out on her. He walked away and the slamming door behind him felt like a nail in the coffin of their newly formed relationship.

Wren was left standing in her empty house, half-naked and still covered in the remnants of their mating. She was bloody and bruised and she felt as if she'd lost not only the fight but a future she'd only just begun to think was possible.

A wave of nausea overtook her and she rushed to the trash can and threw up. Her throat still felt tight and scratchy when she was done but it wasn't the worst of what she felt. Not by a longshot. Because she was a mated woman now, without a mate, and she'd never felt more alone in her entire life.