Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty-Six

It had been three months since we’d gotten back, and nothing had happened. No one had died. No one had shown up here trying to attack us. Nothing. It was day after day of peace. It was beyond boring, and I couldn’t have been happier. For the first time since Death Day, I woke up every morning without a pit in my stomach or a sense of impending doom.

I’d never been so happy as I rocked on the porch with Widow Herbert on a beautiful summer day, sipping iced tea. My wolf was lying near as we watched Rastin and Buddie trying to teach the kids how to fish in the river. Charlie was laughing with his friends. I was going to have to find a recorder somewhere so I could listen to that sound on repeat for the rest of my life. There were so many times in the past weeks that I’d thought I’d never hear it again.

You look happy, Widow Herbert said.

“I am. I never thought I could be this happy, but I really am. After Death Day, I thought life was over, or any kind of happy existence. I thought it would be nonstop fighting, day after day, just to stay alive. And now here I am, happier than I could’ve imagined.”

Widow Herbert leaned down and petted my wolf, who somehow seemed to feel it, if its raising its head to her meant anything.

I’ve got to get going. Mr. Herbert and I have lunch plans.

“I’ll see you soon?”

Most definitely.

A couple minutes later, Death appeared. My wolf growled.

Death looked at the water and then all the shifters milling around, as if trying to see what I liked about this place.

She settled into the rocking chair beside me.

I gave her a once-over as she began to rock beside me, as if she were settling in for a bit.

My wolf made a disgruntled snort but then settled with its head on its paws.

She looked at it, her head at an odd angle.

“It doesn’t like you,” I said.

It?

“Yes. My wolf.”

How could it like me when you don’t and it’s part of you?

I went silent, letting her words sink in. What the hell did that mean, exactly?

“Are you saying I made him? How is that possible?”

All life is energy. You focused enough of the power and energy you were afraid of into the physical manifestation of a wolf. You channeled the parts of you that you couldn’t handle into something else that was easier to compartmentalize yet still control. It makes sense when you think of it. A wolf is powerful, and yet dangerous.

“I made a wolf?” I said, a bit in awe of myself.

You made a wolf.

“It’s definitely not scary,” I said, reaching out and smoothing a hand over its fur.

Your power wasn’t either, she said. Seems we both created something we hadn’t quite intended, which is one of the reasons I’m here. We need to have a talk about some things.

“And what is that?” I asked, feeling my power started to pulse in my veins.

No need to get angry, she said, watching me like she could physically feel it. I’m here to offer terms for a truce of sorts.

“Which are?” I asked.

First, I need to explain how you were a bit of an accident, but I’m not the only one who caused a problem. As far as I can tell, it started with Jaysa giving her magic to you after she’d already passed on. That’s how I was able to communicate with you to begin with.

It might not have been a problem if that was all that happened. But then I used you, and that small power grew. Even then, it still might’ve been okay. But there were more missteps. The others were becoming concerned with you, so they brought you to the other dimension, testing you. But when they brought you the second time, and shocked you with their magic, instead of killing you, they infused you with even more power.

That was the final straw. What none of us realized was that you were immune to being killed in most ways due to what you already had inside you because of Jaysa and me. You’ve heard the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”? It’s never been so true as in your case.

My mind was reeling. That bastard had tried to kill me. But she’d said a truce. I wasn’t losing my peace or putting anyone in jeopardy for past wrongs.

“So what does that make me? And where does that leave us?”

We don’t know. There hasn’t ever been one like you before, and if you’re smart? You’ll never try to find out the limits of what you can do. That is the only way you’ll remain safe. Don’t draw anyone’s attention and they’ll all pretend you don’t exist.

“So that’s it? Lie low and it’s good?”

Yes, unless you decide to go on a killing spree or meddle too much and they need to find a way to get rid of you.

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

Then they’ll all be good. They gave me their word.

“Did you go to bat for me?” She seemed a little too helpful. She wasn’t getting anything back, and Death wasn’t about giving anything away for free.

I left you there to rot with Varic in Scotland. Felt that I might’ve owed you something.

“You feel guilty ?” I was glad I hadn’t been drinking my tea when she said that.

Guilty? Of course not. I do not feel guilt. I’m incapable of having such a human emotion. It would disrupt my duties in this world.

I weighed the circumstances of what went down, and I might’ve overreacted to Kicks’ father dying fast. It seems we’ve left a lasting enough effect, and perhaps there wasn’t more needed. Perhaps you didn’t need to be tormented quite that much. I might’ve overdone it. It was a calculated decision.

Death could say whatever she wanted. She felt guilt.

Laughter interrupted my thoughts. I watched Kicks walking over to Charlie, swinging him up onto his shoulders.

“And them?” I asked. They’d better be protected or there would be no truce. I’d burn this world down.

This wasn’t anything like the future I’d ever imagined for myself, yet I didn’t think anything else could make me happier. No person could fill my heart the way Kicks and Charlie did.

If you don’t draw attention, no one around you will be noticed either.

“I can live with that,” I said.

I waited, expecting her to disappear, but she didn’t. She rocked beside me, probably making things look really odd, as no one could see who was sitting in the chair. Even Widow Herbert didn’t actually rock.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I asked after a few minutes.

With fewer people, fewer people are dying, and now I don’t have my vengeance to pursue, I’ve some time on my hands. Thought I might take up a hobby or something.

“I thought we just decided to ignore each other’s existence?”

Them. They did. Not me, s he said, doing one of her awful shrugs. I don’t like them, and sometimes I need company.

“There’s more of you, though. I’ve seen, like, your twins or something.”

No. That’s all just me, she said, shrugging again.

I was stuck with her? And worse than that, she thought she was going to sit here with me? On a regular basis? I guessed it could be worse, but she was going to have to work on a few things.

“If you’re going to hang around, you have to either get better at these weird movements or stop doing them.”

She did a weird movement, but at a rapid speed. Better?

“No.”

She did it again.

“No,” I said. “Just stop doing it.”

She kept going. I looked out at the pack so I didn’t have to watch her practice. It was like staring at a strobe light.

Now? she asked, trying to draw my attention back to her practicing.

“No. Now cut it out,” I said.

Kicks looked over at me, squinting as he picked up on some of what I said. He’d come to terms with my talking to invisible people, so he didn’t look overly alarmed. The pack mostly pretended they didn’t see or hear me do it.

I smiled at Kicks, letting him know everything was okay. Other than having to occasionally keep a lonely Death company, it was better than okay. My life felt perfect.

Want more post-apocalyptic shifter fantasy from Donna Augustine? Read the completed series The Wilds now.

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