Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Dicon was laid upon a bed of logs in the main courtyard as Varic walked forward with a torch, lighting the pyre on fire. There didn’t seem to be an outpouring of mourning. There was a redheaded woman across the way who was said to be his wife, but didn’t shed a single tear. If anything, her eyes looked a bit brighter today than last night, and I didn’t think it was the fire.
Varic tossed his torch on top of the wood pile underneath Dicon’s body, mumbling a curse as he did. He was the only one who seemed to have any strong emotions here, and I wondered if it was for the loss of a friend or because Dicon had been his best yes-man.
A couple of people glanced my way, but I tried to keep my focus on the body. They couldn’t know I had anything to do with this. All signs were that he’d choked. They’d even found a piece of meat lodged in his throat. The wolf had been nothing but my imagination running wild.
An imagination that didn’t seem to want to take a break, as I felt its fur brush against my hand as it took a seat beside me.
Not a single person glanced at it. It was in my head. I was truly losing it.
Although, if I’d killed Dicon, why hadn’t I heard Death’s booming steps? I never heard them when I was the one who killed.
Kicks, standing beside me, kept shifting his gaze to me. Apparently I wasn’t the only one afraid I was cracking.
People slowly started wandering away, no one caring enough to dedicate too much time to a man they hadn’t liked.
“I’ve got to go run and help them repair some of the cottages on the outskirts,” Kicks said.
“I’ll be good,” I said.
He nodded, looking like he wasn’t quite sure. It took another few minutes before he left, and even then he kept glancing back at me.
My wolf had disappeared again as I headed inside, ignoring the looks I got as I did. I climbed the stairs to the roof, feeling like I was trying to climb out of the pits of purgatory. This place was poison.
If there was any chance for Kicks and me, we had to get out of here. This place would destroy anyone who stayed. Maybe that’s how Kicks’ mother had felt? Why she’d left. I definitely felt that way. Any sane person would.
As soon as I got to the roof, I called, “Death?”
After days of ignoring me, she appeared. She didn’t say anything, but at least she showed up.
“Are you getting us out of here or not?”
Not, she said.
“He’s dead. I killed him. How much more do you want from me? I think I’ve delivered enough vengeance for you,” I said, my voice rising. I didn’t even care who heard me, if they thought I was crazy. I was at my limit. No, beyond it.
You were supposed to give a warning to all, and then I wanted him to suffer. He. Didn’t. Suffer. Her voice grew louder as she spoke, becoming almost painful. He didn’t even know it was coming. You gave him a clean death. An easy death. That was not vengeance .
“How many more until this deal is paid? How many?” I said. I could feel my pulse hammering in my ears. “I want an answer.”
Undecided, she replied, her tone cold as the air grew even more frigid. You will know when I decide you need to.
It would never end. It wasn’t “just get this last time over with.” She’d find other targets. She didn’t want to stop. I’d never be rid of her.
“What if I can’t keep going?” I said, afraid that at some point I’d crack. I’d gone from fearing the darkness inside, to fearing for my sanity, period.
We both know that will never happen, and we both know why.
Kicks . She’d kill him.
I was trapped, bound by a bargain to save him that she’d use against me for the rest of my life.
She disappeared, knowing she’d gotten her point across.
I swallowed hard. She had taken control of my life, my choices, my very existence.
I made my way back to the bedroom, not caring about putting on a show of dusting or any other act. All I wanted was to sit alone in peace for a few minutes, hide away from all the stares that followed me around this place.
I’d barely shut the door and walked to the window when it became clear I wasn’t going to be alone here either. That feeling of standing next to the abyss filled me. Charon was here. I didn’t turn to look at him immediately, but there was no reason to delay. He wasn’t going to disappear.
I turned, and then waited for him to say whatever it was he’d come for.
“We’ve discussed your situation and come to a decision of sorts.” He then went silent, as if he had all the time in the world.
“ We’ve ?” I asked. I was done not pushing back, just taking whatever they said and dealing with it or being left hanging.
“Me and others of my kind.”
So a bunch of gods were sitting around chatting about my life.
“And what have you all decided about my life?” I asked, not hiding my derision. If they were going to kill me then so be it, but I wasn’t going down without even pushing back.
“When mortals have been given this much power in the past, the majority of them have succumbed to it with dire results. Kicks’ father didn’t have nearly the power flowing through you and he nearly killed all humankind.”
I crossed my arms, staring him down. “Except you keep forgetting I don’t have access to any of it.”
“But you will. It’s only a matter of time before you overcome that.”
So it was possible? I still had my abilities? I wanted to ask him about the wolf but wouldn’t. If I were channeling powers through him somehow, it wouldn’t be good to bring it to his attention. Trusting this creature would be a mistake.
“What powers did Kicks’ father have?” I asked instead—after all, he’d brought it up.
“He discovered a way to shift the line that divides the living from the dead for just a short moment. When he shifted that line, he caused the massive moment of death to occur.”
“How did he discover such a thing?”
“That is something that will never be discussed and has since been rectified. But in his pursuit, he caused the most vulnerable among you to die.”
He must have somehow known it would kill more humans than shifters.
“We can no longer look the other way when one among you achieves such power,” Charon continued. “Death should not meddle in the affairs of the living in this direct way. It isn’t done.”
“Then you should speak to her.”
“She is not one who is open to such things.”
I’d thought it was just me. Looked like she was on the outs even with her fellow gods. Considering what she’d been like the last time we talked, like a serial killer getting addicted to the high, it only spoke better of them.
“So what does this mean for me?” I asked, sick of this back-and-forth. I was getting used to going it alone. In some ways, I preferred it. I’d show up for me. Couldn’t always say that about everyone else.
“There are those among us who feel that because you never asked for this, you should be left alone. Others are leerier, especially after what has happened.”
Why did I have a feeling he was among the ones ready to kill me? Why wouldn’t he be? My life was nothing to these people, as Death had proven.
“We’ve come to a compromise. We’ve decided we might be able to leave you be, perhaps even help, but you’ll need to prove yourself first. One, you’ll have to agree not to do any more of Death’s bidding.”
“I can’t stop her.” How many times was I going to have to tell him this?
“If you pass our tests, we will help you unlock your powers so that you won’t have to do what she needs.”
Something wasn’t fitting here. Why wouldn’t they just kill me and then stop her?
“You can’t stop her on your own, can you?”
There was a second too long of a delay before he said, “We’d prefer to handle it this way.”
Yeah, and didn’t that just say it all? They couldn’t stop her.
“What do you want me to do to prove myself? Isn’t the fact that I’m begging her to stop proof enough?” All I’d tried to do was figure out a way to rid myself of anything she’d given.
“No. Not when we might make you that much more powerful.”
That meant I’d be able to protect the people I loved without having to fear the darkness inside of me or worrying about what price Death might extract for her help. It meant peace. Being able to build a life of stability for Charlie and maybe a future for myself.
“What do you want me to do? I’ll do whatever you want,” I said.
“As I said, you need to pass a series of tests.”
“What kind?”
“Ones we decide will test the core of who you are as a person. We can’t proceed unless we believe you are capable of withstanding being corrupted by the power we might give you.”
I’d wanted a clear yes or no, a we’ll help or not. Still, I wasn’t in a place to walk away from the offer. “When do we do this test?”
“Now.”
Suddenly I wasn’t in the bedroom anymore but standing in what looked like an ancient arena, walled off by a few rows of old stones. The only reason I thought I was still on Earth was the million dazzling stars up above, although I didn’t know the night sky well enough to say for sure. Everything beyond the wall was pitch black. What was in that darkness was sending off waves of energy that made the air crackle with power. I could hear the dimmest hush of whispers all around, but nothing distinct.
The arena itself was lit bright, and a large glass enclosure stood in the center. Inside the tank was a table floating on air, but I couldn’t see what was on it.
“This is the first of your tests,” Charon said. “You must solve the puzzle inside the tank.”
First of how many? It didn’t matter. I’d take them as they came. At least killing me was off the table for now, although that was an assumption that I hoped wasn’t going to make an ass of me.
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. A puzzle didn’t sound too bad. I actually enjoyed puzzles. I could do this. “How do I get inside?”
He waved his hand, and one of the glass walls disappeared.“Once you step in, the test will commence immediately and will not be stopped until completion, so don’t waste time.”
“Got it. Get in and do the puzzle.”
I stepped into the glass enclosure, and the fourth wall returned. I looked up to see there was also a glass panel above me.
I looked at the floating board, taking in the image. It was similar to a checkerboard, but the squares all had small sayings on them. Around the checkerboard were small stones with sketches.
I’d barely started reading when I felt my feet getting wet. This thing was filling with water. If I failed, were they going to drown me? Sure seemed that way. I’d thought not asking what happened if I failed was for the best, but maybe not.
My breathing grew heavy and my hands began to shake. Would Death save me from this? For some reason I doubted it. She might not even be able to sense me here.
I couldn’t panic. I couldn’t think of Charlie, or Kicks, or anyone else. I could only think of this puzzle. I swallowed the panic down, taking slow, deliberate breaths, trying to find a pattern in the chaos of my mind.
I focused on the writing on the squares.
I represent sorrow but bring life.
I scanned the stones with sketches, searching for something that might fit, and found a cloud with a bolt of lighting. A dark cloud brought rain. I put that over the square, and it lit up. This wasn’t bad. Or shouldn’t be if there weren’t so many squares and the water wasn’t already lapping at my ankles.
I can blind, but without me, you would not see.
I found a stone with a sun and placed it on top. It lit.
The farther down I go, the higher I reach.
I sifted through the stones and found a silhouette of a tree.
Okay, I could do this, but I had to go fast. The water was already hitting my calves.
I made my way through the rest as fast as I could. The water was at my chest as I put the last of the thirty-six stones in place. The board completely lit up and the water stopped.
For a moment, everything was still. My ears strained to hear something, either draining or filling. There was a swishing sound and then the tank began to empty. I gripped the board with both hands as I waited for it to completely drain, so no one could see how unnerved I was by the whole experience. The glass on the side disappeared and I was able to step out of the tank.
Whispers filled the air as Charon stepped forward.
“You have passed this test,” he said.
“A puzzle? What was the point of that? Would you have really drowned me if I couldn’t solve a stupid puzzle?” My adrenaline was running past any check on my tongue. I’d thought I’d had it with these people before, but I was about thrown off the cliff now.
“I told you that you would be tested. You agreed. If you couldn’t keep your head under pressure, then yes, you’d be dead.” He spoke calmly, infuriating me more.
“So now what? Do you help me now?” I wrapped my arms around myself. I was soaked.
“This was only the first of the tests. There will be more until we feel sure.”
“How many tests will there be?” This was beginning to feel as open ended as the deal I had with Death.
“Until we feel sure.”
I wanted to ask another question, but he was gone. I was back in the bedroom, dripping all over the floor.