32. Emily

THIRTY-TWO

EMILY

"Please, Nitro. I will only be there for ten minutes. I just want to go in the shop and come back out." I've been asking him to take me to the shopping centre for about an hour and he's still saying no to me.

What is it with him and going anywhere else other than the shop and over the road to the pub.

"Why? What do you need to buy?"he asks, picking up his T-shirt from his bed, but he doesn't put it on just yet as he waits for me to say something to him. And if he thinks standing topless in front of me is a bad thing, he is wrong. Sexy fucking man.

"I feel bad for jumping to conclusions with Esha. And I want to say sorry. When you explained what happened-" Well he didn't explain, he told me it was a no subject thing, which made me feel even worse. Because whatever it is they are hiding, it must be bad enough for me to feel like shit about it.

"I didn't tell you because all you need to know is, Esha is a sister. That's all that matters." Nitro walks over to the bathroom to get some cream for his burn marks, and he rubs it over mores of his chest.

"And I get that, I do. I see how you guys are with her. You're all really protective over Esha. I mean not protective, but...you know what I mean-"

"Emily, what do you want me to tell you?" Nitro puts on his t-shirt, and then leans on the dresser.

"Why is it, when she throws her family thing, you do what she wants. No question?" It's been a question I've wanted to ask for a while because there is something I don't know. My question makes Nitro laugh, as in a full laughter before he answers me.

"We do not do everything she wants." He lets out some air, shaking his head as he finally gets fully dressed. "You have to think to yourself, Emily. She is in love with a man who has never said the three special words, who has told her he will never marry her, he never wants children, and killed her family. She is living in a house with us knowing every single day, we are the reason she has no family. Ares tried to walk away from her, she was too deep in love with him and couldn't. She sits at a table and eats with us. She kisses Ares every day and shares a bed with him, knowing he is the reason she has no family anymore." Nitro sits on the bed to put on his boots.

"Is that the reason for the crazy loft conversion?" I ask. I mean they haven't done much to it, I've seen the paperwork for it, and Esha telling Ares what she wants in it.

"Of course...I'm joking. No it isn't, she told us she used to have it at her house. Ares said he would make one here for her. None of us fought him on it, because we want her to forgive us, you can see it in her eyes sometimes she zones out and you can see she hates being where she is. We're just lucky the woman loves the crazy bastard so much-" He walks closer to me, pulling me towards him. "-And you're blaming Esha because it's her family that were part of the organisation. I found out my dad is one of them too. Do you hate me?"

"No. I love you." It's crazy how easy I can say those words to him, but I know there is no other man out there for me.

"How am I any different to her?" He leans down to give me a kiss, and I return a small smile.

"I feel even worse and even shit about this whole situation." I didn't even take a second to think about how she feels waking up every day in this house knowing that. "I'm sorry, I told her I was sorry yesterday. I want to buy her a gift to let her know I'm not a horrible person."

Nitro wraps his arms around my waist, and I look up at him. "She doesn't think you're a bitch. She's like the sweetest person I think I've ever met. She doesn't hold a grudge or anything." I lean my forehead on his chest, taking in a deep breath. "Fine. What do you want to buy her?" I smile because to make me happy he would do this.

"I don't know. What does she like? Chocolate." Nitro laughs again, and I pull away from him.

"She likes Pilates, get her a new gym outfit." Nitro grabs his jacket and I stay where I am for a moment. "What's wrong?"

"The loft conversation, is it just a pilates studio?" I ask.

"The mess? We haven't even started it yet. It's been so fucking busy. Ares is making a Pilates studio but there will be two extra rooms just in case, one of us three find a girl who wants to do something." Nitro takes a deep breath, rubbing his eyes. I think he slept about four hours last night, then I felt him tossing and turning in bed.

"That's amazing. Do you think I could put some of my drawing stuff upstairs?" I would love to start drawing again, on big surfaces..

"If you really want one. Can we get some breakfast?" I have to laugh at his comment. "What?"

"You've had breakfast."

"That was at three o'clock in the morning. I'm hungry. We'll eat and then go shopping. Are you excited about your first shift at the pub?"

"Yeah, he's only given me an hour though. He wants to see if I can even pour a beer."

"Can you pour a beer?"

"No. But that's what he is teaching me," I laugh.

"Come on, Tiger." He pulls me out of the bedroom, and down the stairs. Joining every one down there, Esha and Ares are laughing about something. Tic is on the couch watching cartoons, and Nyx is not looking happy.

"What's with him?" Nitro asks, nodding his head towards Nyx.

"Oh, he wasn't happy that his little girlfriend was with her boyfriend." Ares mocks him and I have to chuckle to myself, because it sounds so cute. He's actually using a baby toned voice while he mocks Nyx, something I never thought I'd here.

"He's a prick, a low life, has no job and he's spending her money," Nyx argues his case.

"Then fucking get rid of him," Nitro shouts at him. I think they've had this conversation every night this week. I don't know who this girl is, and I don't know why Nyx is so fascinated by her, but he needs to do something about it.

"Can't stop her living her own life-"

"You can when you've been stalking her for fuck knows how lon-"

"I have not been stalking. I've been keeping an eye on her." Nyx flips him the finger.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. Are we still going out tonight?" Nitro asks.

"Yep. The house is ready. Everything is good to go. Are you ready?" Ares asks Nitro. I sit down next to him with my cup of coffee.

"Yes."

Nitro has been a little on and off with his mood. I knew it was going to be something hard for him, but he's doing it. And that's all that matters. He knows at the end of it all, he won't be alone. He has me, and his brothers here.

I look down at the notepad which Ares' is reading, it's been a few days now, since they came back from finding whoever it was from the print.

Esha told me it's best not to ask them too many questions when they are in the ghost world. If they want us to know they'll tell us or it'll be just part of their conversation at the table. And because she's been here longer and I'm still new to this whole ghost world, I just follow what she says.

I know he's looking for something called the black hole. Like what the fuck is a black hole? I still hope that one morning I will come downstairs and Ares will tell me they have found my sister.

So far we know they never put any names in them. Kind of, he's putting two and two together to find something. So I just have to wait and hope.

Grabbing some food from the middle of the table, I start eating some breakfast.

I love how the guys have a system. They know what everyone's doing. They all have their own little jobs, but it's nice to see.

I watch Ares reading through the notepad and writing notes down. Nitro has been looking through all his notes as he works through so at least that way another person knows what is happening. Again, a system which seems to have worked for years and years for them.

I know they all put a lot of things to the side, when it comes to finding all the family members of the organisation, when Nitro asked him to look for my sister. So fingers crossed, they find something.

"Esha, what do you have planned for the day?" Nitro asks her.

"Nothing. Ares has got a bike to work on. I was just going to a Pilates class or something. I don't know." Esha grabs a bottle of water, Ares starts rolling up a joint, and Nitro puts his hand out to let him know to make him one too.

"Emily wants to go shopping, you want to go? My treat." Nitro takes the joint from Ares.

"Really?" And they look at each other for a few seconds. I already know Nitro's telling him I wanted to get something for Esha to apologise. I hate the silent conversations these guys have. They know each other so well. It's ridiculous.

"Yes, my treat you go have fun shopping in the morning and buy whatever you want." He knows I have no money and would have asked him for money anyway to buy the gift until I don't get paid from the pub. I'm relying on him, but I have a feeling he likes that.

These are men who are going to find their girls and treat them like queens.

"Sure. You want to go after breakfast or after your shift at the pub this afternoon?" Esha asks with a smile.

"Morning means we can get some brunch, my shift doesn't start until two."

"That sounds great." She looks at Ares with a smile. "Can I have your card?"

"It's Nitro's treat. I'll get you a card," he leans in closer and kisses her.

"You'll like her," Nitro whispers, as he bites on my ear lobe.

Suppose I need some friends, but I did have different plans before my shift at the pub. I was hoping Nitro would finish the tattoo on my back, but I know he's fully booked all day, from nine to eight. He was telling me when I went over yesterday just to see how he was, he was booking in another client at the time, six months away. Six fucking months was his first available date. Some people have booked a year in advance. They're that busy. Which is amazing.

I've asked him if he's done any celebrities and he always says no, but I don't know if I believe him.

"I have five or six black hole locations. Four of them are in London. One of them is in Manchester and one of them is even in Birmingham or abroad. Not one hundred percent sure about that one. For now I'm not stressing over that one, because I have the others."

"My sister?" I ask quietly to myself. But Nitro places his hand softly over the back of my chair, his fingers moving over my shoulder.

"I think I have found one of the black hole locations, which is around where your sister was taken, and around where you said this White House is. This is close, the others are quite a distance from these two locations. So I'm assuming maybe they kept her sister there-" Ares stops talking, letting me take in the information, because I'm scared she won't be alive. "-If she is still there, then yes, if she's not there then obviously we have to go through all of them. That's the question I want to ask my brothers."

"Tic over here," Nyx shouts at him. And we wait for Tic to join the table.

I place my hand on Nitro's leg just to have him close to me. Scared to see where this conversation is going.

"So, this is a big decision now. Do we go to this location or look into this location and then go in to see if we can find Emily's sister, and get her out. While we continue to take down the rest of the families or do we tell Wes the locations and get everyone out of there?"

There's silence around the table. Not one person is saying anything.

"You have to tell Wes," Esha is the first one to talk but it's in a whisper.

"If...if...if we tell Wes we lose the families," Tic adds and again a silence fills the room.

"How about for now, we look at this location. See what is there? I don't really want to send the police into locations that have nothing and we've spooked them and then they go underground and we're back at ground zero-" Nyx leans forwards taking the joint from Ares. "-So how about we go to this location, if there is nothing there, we have nothing, if there is something there we can go in, see if her sister is there. And we continue with our plan with the commissioner and then go from there."

"Yeah, that's good, but it still leaves one question. Do we hit the commissioner first, or do we hit the location first?" Ares adds yet another question which makes everyone look between each other.

"If we hit the commissioner and they find out, he's dead in a couple of days. We don't know what's going to happen with these locations." Nitro looks at me, as my hand moves up and down his thigh to stop myself from saying something I want to say, but I can't.

"We hit this location and get her sister out. Then the families will know someone's onto them." Ares is, again, the only one who is thinking of everything.

There is silence around the table, smoke is blown around me as Ares and Nyx are smoking their joints. I never thought I'd get used to that smell, now it's a normal scent to me.

"So what do we do?" I ask everyone.

"Go about the day. We've got bikes to fix, helmets to paint. You've got people to tattoo you. You're going shopping and then your first shift and then tonight, before we go to the commissioner, we sit and discuss the plan," Nyx tells everyone at the table, and everyone gives him a nod while I just keep my eyes locked on the notepad.

Ares found my sister well, almost found my sister. But it's a step closer than I've been for the last fuck knows how many years.

My first afternoon working in the pub was nice. Esha stayed with me for the two hours I was there, which made me feel a little more at ease knowing I was serving someone I already knew.

Spending the morning with Esha was nic I can see why Nitro was constantly telling me, how nice she is, and how she doesn't hold a grudge. She's lovely, how someone like Ares has caught her is a question I'll never know the answer to.

I laughed with her while I was at the pub, while the guys were at work. Even when the guys aren't at the pub, no one sits at their table. No one even attempts looking at that table. I asked Owen if there has ever been someone sitting there, and he said they did but after about a month of the guys coming in, no one would sit at the table after, even if they're not here. Sometimes that table is empty for about four days. Still, no one wants to sit there, people are happier to stand rather then sit down.

It was nice finding out little things about them from Owen, like when they first came to the bar, how they keep themselves to themselves, but always get the attention from the girls. Yet everyone in the pub knows to just leave them be, they've never made trouble in the pub, except the one time with Esha family which was a whole different story.

Esha had her version, and Owen had his own, to me they were both very interesting.

Other than that, the guys have never made trouble, have helped him with things from doing things around the pub. Even working on fixing the car park for him.

Owen said I'm a quick learner and he would love for me to work three days in the afternoon for now. Which I think was more Nitro telling him he didn't want me to work in the evening, so I can be with him.

Looking at my watch, it's just past midnight. They finished work, sat at the table and we had dinner like they weren't going out to do something fucked up.

Before they left, it was a lot of talking back and forth with what the plan was. One thing is they don't do anything until all four of them agree with the plan.

I sat on the couch watching TV with Esha, there was a log of information being thrown and I didn't know how to even join in the conversation. There was a lot of back and forth between the four of them.

Plus, I didn't say anything because I wanted them to go for my sister more than the commissioner. I'm so close to finding my sister, finding answers. How can I not beg them to go get her?

But I kept my mouth shut, they have a plan. They know what they're doing, the guys went out as the ghosts to get the commissioner.

"How long are they normally out for?" I ask Esha as she flicks through the TV channels.

"Well, they're not killing him so I suppose it all depends on how much fun they want to have with him first." Esha stops for a second, and I wonder what she's thinking about as her body shivers. "They usually come back around two o'clock, they'll get home later if it's something else." She drinks her water, and stops on a film to watch. A romcom, which might make us both relax a little.

"Do you ever sleep?" Esha starts laughing.

"No. I might make dinner or an early breakfast or a late dinner depending which way you want to see it. I sit and watch TV-" she finally turns her body a little and looks at me. "But it's nice having you here now because I actually have someone to talk to."

I give her a nod then look at the TV, and clear my throat getting ready to ask her a question.

"I keep wondering to myself if they will take me along when they go get my sister. I'd love to be the one to see her face first." Esha tilts her head with a small smile, and she places her hand on mine.

"Emily, they will find your sister no matter what. Ares has been looking through those books nonstop. Nitro wants to make you happy. They will find her. You just have to learn to let them do their thing, their way-" She licks her lips and looks at the TV for a moment, before looking back at me. "-They have a system and it's worked for them for however many years this has been going on. But I trust them."

"I understand that. It's just my sister could be in that location. And it's taking everything in my power not to open that notepad and look at the address and go find it myself." I look over at the notepads lined up on the table.

"Why haven't you?" Esha asks me. Not the question I thought she would ask, but I stare at her for a moment because I don't know why I haven't done it yet, myself. "There is a reason Emily, you've not opened that notepad to look, and the reason is Nitro."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. I know he will get my sister back for me." He can see how much I've worked to find her, this has been my whole life.

"I promise you, depending on how much fun they want with the Commissioner, I promise you you'll get answers about your sister. Because it's driving my boyfriend crazy." She starts laughing and I have to laugh with her. Because I've got a few questions about Ares, and not sure how to ask them, but there is one thing I do want to talk to her about.

"I told Nitro I love him, and he just stared at me. So I'm not sure-" I stop talking because I don't know what to say. But I see Esha smiling to herself.

"I don't think they know how to say the word. I've been with Ares a long time now, I know he loves me, but he isn't able to say the words. Tic, well he's a different story, but a part of me believes if he can find the girl who loves him for him, he will say it. Nyx, I think he's been in love with whoever he goes to watch at night-"

"So you don't know who that is either?" I ask. It's been bugging me like crazy. They never say a name, or why he watches her, the one part which is really annoying. Why does he not stop her dating the guy?

"I have no idea, but the guys love winding him up about her. Nitro, I think he will say it. He needs time." Esha looks down at her phone looking at the time.

"I hope so. I don't know what to make of Tic right now. I think he's a very special character." With Tic I think you have to find a good moment to talk to him. If you get him in the right mood maybe he will open up to me.

"Tic, once he settles with you, he will be fine. And stop over thinking Nitro saying I love you. I know he loves you."

"Why do you think that?" I have a feeling he loves me, but how does she have the feeling, he does.

"You remember the night Ares came to the apartment pissed off, wanted to look at your back tattoo?" I give her a nod, the scariest day of my life. "He punched Ares in the face, because Ares was being Ares. The following day, Ares told him to invite you for dinner. Because the only reason any of them would punch each other over a girl is if they loved them-" She turns to face me with a smile. "That's how I know he loves you."

Fuck, he punched Ares for me. I didn't think there was anything which would get in between them.

I go to say something but stop when I hear the door open, and guys laughing about something.

"The man is a fucking pussy, I give him three days before he wants to kill himself." I hear Nyx laughing as I wait for them to get into view.

"Two days, then I plan on killing him. Not dragging this out." I hear Nitro who locks eyes with me the second they get in sight. "Morning Little Tiger." He leans down and gives me a kiss on the lips.

The guys all join us on the couch, Ares pulling Esha closer to him, and Tic still laughing.

"Can...can I make him cr...cry first?" Tic asks, which only makes the guys laugh more.

"I think we should kill the son, too. He's part of them." Ares lights up a joint as the others do, too. God knows how they all work, drive, ride their bikes, kill people, when they are so high. High and drunk, ninety percent of the time.

"I agree," Nitro joins in on the conversation. "We let him go, he's just going to do what his dad was doing."

"Do you know how hard it's going to be to hide two bod-"

"The bastard will be burned alive. Nothing to ease the pain, nothing to help him through it. Nothing. He will feel the fire on his skin, the smell of his skin burning. Then we can put them in a fucking car, and have it as a bad fucked up accident gone wrong." Nitro's voice is loud, but not loud enough for everyone to turn to him. More pissed off, angry with everything. He finally has the chance to make them pay for what they did to him, and he will do it too.

"We have three days before the wife starts phoning about where he is. But we need to get rid of them both." Ares looks towards me, which makes me tense up. "Draw a picture of your sister, so we know who we're looking for." With that said he turns to Esha thinking I don't have more questions so I turn to Nitro.

"You're getting my sister?" Can I come with you? What if...You think...wouldn't it be better if I went with you?" I am rambling, but this is what I've wanted for years, and now it's so close.

"Yes we are, after we talk to the commissioner. No, you can't come with us, because I will be more worried about you than doing what we need to do. Now stop with the questions, and let's get to bed. I have some energy to burn off." I can't help but smile Sex with Nitro is a rollercoaster I never want to come down from. Plus, it might help me take my mind off tomorrow, because I will have a million questions about my sister.