16. Emily

SIXTEEN

EMILY

I can't take my eyes off him, he's not looking at me, but all I want to do is watch him. Most people will call me crazy letting him fuck me, but every pulse in my body wanted him to, and I don't regret him.

He does, but I don't.

Did I feel worthless when he pulled out of me, did I feel cheap when he walked away? Yes, and he's not talking about it, but the only thing I want is for him to take me again, but make me cum so hard.

All I want is to feel his skin, see just a glimpse of him, but I don't think that will be happening anytime soon.

"Do you have tattoos?" I ask, he's been asking about mine, there must be something he can tell me about himself.

He sits up from his lying position and blunts out his joint, then turns to me.

"What was the last thing you remember about the accident?" He asks me, and I say nothing for a moment. I know they are looking at what happened to my life, trying to find me some answers, again something they don't have to do, but I think it's White Eyes who is the one pushing it more than the others.

"If I answer your question, can I get something in return?" I ask, trying to push my luck with him. I don't want too much from him, just a glimpse of a hand or something.

"Depends what you want?" he answers while rolling up another joint. One thing about the four of them is they smoke and drink a lot, a lot more than they should do.

"Two things-"

"I've only asked one question," He cuts me off, and I know that, but he might ask another.

"Just in case you ask one more." My reply makes him smile, it's the first time I've seen him smile and it's a beautiful smile, a smile which makes me smile too.

"What are the two things?" Placing the joint between his lips he lights it, moving his eyes to me, but all I can stare at are his lips. Wondering what he can do with his mouth, he was fucking me hard, and yet I felt he was holding back, just the thought of his mouth on me has me adjusting in my seat.

"I get to see a part of you; hand, your neck, anything, the other thing is I want to feel your skin, a part of your body." I just want to see how he feels, I need something about him, even if it's only for a second, I need to touch him, I'm itching to feel his skin.

He licks his lips, then takes a drag of his joint. He's thinking about something, then he closes his eyes. I would say he's tired, but I can't really see his eyes because of the contact lenses.

"I get to choose the area, and when you touch me I blind fold you. So answer the question now." He turns to face me, and I try to remember as far back to the accident I can.

What is the last thing I remember? Did we go out for dinner? Were we talking to the detective? Why can't I remember what we were doing?

"You want the truth?" I ask, because I have a feeling he would know if I'm lying. He gives me a nod, and I bite on my lower lip thinking about how to tell him I don't remember without him thinking I'm hiding something. "I don't remember, I remember screaming in pain, I remember seeing flashing blue lights, I remember the car flipped upside down. That's it." It feels like I've whispered the whole sentence to him, scared someone might hear that I've lost part of my memory.

White Eyes looks at the table, smoking his joint, and then stands up, pulling out a bandana from his pocket.

"Stand up." He turns to face me, and I do so quickly, telling me to close my eyes, he places the bandana on. "Ready?" he asks.

I nod, wondering what part of his body he will let me touch, I'm hoping it's his face. He takes both my hands in his one large hand, making me take a small step closer to him.

It's amazing how without your eyes your other senses become more alive. I've been here for a while now, and never noticed the kitchen tap. It's closed right, drip, drip, drip I can hear it, and now I know it does that, it's going to get annoying.

When did it start raining? I hear the soft drops hitting the window. Makes me wonder what other things would I be able to notice if I just close your eyes for a moment.

"You smell nice," I whisper. Most of the time he smells of the joint he's been smoking, and he smells of that now. The lemongrass and smoky strong smell lingers in the place for hours, but there is a woody smell around him, and I like it, it reminds me of the forest my family used to go to.

"I smell of blood." I take a deep breath in at his words, because I know he does, but at the moment I can smell so much around me. There is a soft spiciness around me too, and I know it's him. I know it's White Eyes who I smell.

He lowers my hands, and I press my lips together not to smile, because if he's going to let me hold that, I'm not going to complain about it, but then he brings me back up a little, and my body jolts a little when I feel his skin graze my fingertips, with the soft feather like touch.

Laying my hand flat on his chest, and I feel the goosebumps appear on his skin, my touch has affected him too. I keep them still for a moment wanting to feel his bare chest.

He removes his hand from mine, and I gently move my hand slowly down his chest, feeling the air escaping his mouth and hit the side of my face. No full six pack, but I can feel the muscles there, he has a body I want to see, I want him on top of me, under me, behind me.

I shift a little of my weight from foot to foot, as I feel as much of his chest as I can before he takes a step away from me. At first I thought it was just my hands not feeling the skin right, but it's not me, I keep feeling more rough skin.

I stop my hand over one rough part of his skin under his left pec, and I move my finger over it. I stop moving from foot to foot, trying hard to focus on the skin I feel under my fingertips. I move my hand around, and hit rough skin again, what is this? I ask myself, pinching my brows together.

"Told you I'm the monster you should stay away from," White Eyes whispers, feeling his lips brush against my ear, and I try to lean my face into his but he moves away too fast.

I continue to move my fingers over the rough scratchy skin, trying to work out what it is, and how many he has of them.

"I want you to think back, think back to the day you were last with your sister." I go to take a step away from him, because I don't want to think about that, I don't want to think about one of the worst days in my life. White Eyes wraps his arm around my waist so I move. "You're here, you're with me, touching me." My heart is pounding against my chest, taking in a few deep breaths, shutting my eyes tight.

"I can't...I-"

"You and your sister, where were you?" he asks.

Shaking my head a few times, going back to the day my life changed. "In the park, it was in front of the house."

White Eyes hand moves soft on my lower back, and I keep my hands on his chest, feeling his heartbeat against them. I need to feel that I'm not alone at the moment. I need to know they can't get me.

"What were you doing?" His voice is low, even with the cracked up computer voice, it's low like he's whispering to me.

Right now I'm so happy I've got the blindfold on, White Eyes can't see how sad I am about that night, or how scared I am at the same time.

"I was drawing, and she was telling me I should open a tattoo shop and I just laughed. I told her the first one I would get is the one she designed for me, and I did. I promised her I would and I did." I feel the tears escaping my eyes even though I have the shut tight not wanting to let them free.

"And which one is that?" Feeling his hand moving over my back. Is he trying to calm me down, or turn me on?

"The butterfly, I don't want to talk anymo-"

"What happened next?" What part of ‘I don't want to talk anymore,' doesn't he understand, I can't think about it, I don't want to think about how I let my little sister down. "What happened?"

I shake my head letting the day flash through me, I ball up my fists against his chest, trying to push myself away from him, but he won't let me.

"Two men came to us, and before I could move one of them grabbed me, and my sister. They took my sister, I'm fighting, I'm kicking, but the man is too strong. They took my sister and I did nothing, I couldn't stop them." I hit his chest as hard as I can over and over again, letting out the anger I've been holding on to for a few days. "I couldn't stop them, I couldn't save her."

Leaning my head on his chest he pulls me in closer as I cry into his chest.

"You're there, stay there. I know you want to come back, but stay there for one more question." White Eyes rubs my back, his other hand patting my head softly, helping me relax. "They took your sister, what did you do?"

"I...I told-" I don't know what I did. What did I do? Pushing away from him, he lets me, quickly taking my blindfold off, I look at him staring at me. "I...was fighting, screaming for help-" I rub my eyes, pressing my hands hard on the side of my head. "-They threw my sister in the car...how did no one see that? It wasn't even dark. Why...why can't... I screamed-" I shut my eyes again, why can't I remember? "I don't remember." I look at him, and he stands there not saying a word to me, before sitting back on the sofa.

Walking over the armchair, I sit down slowly because I still don't know what is happening to me. Am I going crazy?

I try to replace that day in my head, but after the fighting and screaming it all goes blank.

"Do you remember talking to the police?" he asks.

"Of course I spoke to them and told-" Wait did I speak to them? "-I must have...I-"

"It's been a long night, how about we stop for the night, or morning and I'll talk to my brothers about some things." I nod because I don't know what to say to him, because I don't have any answers for them.

White eyes starts playing with the lighter flicking it off and on. When it's on he stares at it for a while, like he's daring it to hit him, daring it to touch him. I wish I could see his eyes, or his hand, fucking anything at the moment.

"You get to choose, my eyes or one hand," he says, turning to face me, and I look into his eyes. "I have something on most of my body, so no matter what part of the skin I show you, you can remember it and use it against me, blackmail me, but I'm keeping my end of the deal." He leans back on the sofa, and I think about it for a moment.

What does he have on his body which I can use against him? As much as I want to know what it is, I want to see the eyes behind the contacts. Are they as dark as the vibe he gives me?

"I want to see your eyes," I whisper.

He looks over at me, but nods his head, he brings his hand over his face, and takes his contact lenses out, and puts them into his pocket, then closes his eyes.

"Come on then little tiger," I hear him, and I slowly get off the sofa, walk over to him, and stand between his legs, ready to look into his eyes. "Not going to get a good look there are you. It's a one time offer." He smiles, and I wonder how I'm meant to get a better look.

So I'm going to take the chance, and I sit on his lap, and I hear a small laugh coming from him, and feel it vibrate through him.

"Ready?" he asks.

"Yes," I whisper, staring at his closed eyes.

Why is my heart beating so hard?

He opens his eyes, and a set of brown eyes stare back at me. Do they hold the darkness I thought? Yes, they do. Are they as haunted as I thought? Yes, they are. There is so much pain locked away in them.

I place my hands on the side of his mask, not breaking eye contact from him, not wanting him to look away from me. He has his eyes locked with mine, and I can feel the cold icy stare hitting me, my body shivers from it. His eyes are almost like looking into a deadman eyes, nothing in them, he's a man who has seen nothing but darkness. And it reminds me of the night we watched Batman, and he quoted from the movie.

What darkness did he live in?

I break my stare and look down at his lips, before looking back into his eyes.

"It shouldn't have happened," White Eyes, speaks, and I lick my lips, he is so close to me, so close I can feel the hot air escaping his mouth.

"I wanted it, I still want it." I lean in closer to him, and before he can move away from me, I kiss him. I've wanted to kiss him for so long. Missing his lips on mine, I want his hands on mine, I just want him to touch me.

He places his hands to the side of my legs, and kisses me back. I don't care what he says, he wants me just as much as I want him.

This man can kiss, this man can make me forget everything by just him kissing me. I thought I was controlling this kiss, but no, he has taken control, and he's not giving it back to me either.

He pushes me away, and shakes his head. "Fuck," he shouts at himself. "You should go get some sleep." I stay where I am for a moment, I don't want to move away from him, I don't want to be pushed away from him.

"Little tiger, go to sleep." He pushes me off his lap, and I look down at him as I stand between his legs, and he looks up at me. "I killed four men today, and I don't regret it, if we find out you've lied then we will be killing you, don't play games with a monster." Now, I can see his eyes, I wish I couldn't because he isn't even breaking eye contact with me for a second, his eyes are still hard which means he means what he says.

"I'm not lying," I whisper.

"And for your sake I hope you're not." He shifts on the sofa and lays down. Without saying another word to me, he closes his eyes, and I walk to the bedroom.

Lying down in bed, I look over at the door, wanting to see White Eyes . How can I be so pulled towards him, he has told me straight up that he'd kill me, and it should make me run, but all I want is for him to hold me.

What is it about him that's having me fall for him? I know nothing about him, I've not seen his face, but yet I want him to be close to me all the time.

My eyes are so heavy, but I don't want to sleep. Talking to White Eyes about my sister scares me. What I will see when I close my eyes I don't know, but I can't keep them open.

I've lost my sister, and now I've lost my parents. I'm alone in the world, but I made a promise to my parents that I will not stop looking for my sister. I will find out what happened to her, no matter how long it takes me.

I stand in my parents office, all the paperwork that they found on my sister, but there's nothing. There is nothing about my sister, so now it's my turn to look for her; and I'm going to start from the beginning. I asked the officer to come over today, so he can give me the file he has.

I'm going to start from the start then look through what my parents got, maybe they missed something.

I open the front door, and smile at the officer. "Emily, you know I gave everything to your parents." He doesn't bother with a hello and neither do I. I didn't call him for small talk, I called him for a file and that's it. "There is nothing new on your sister, maybe it's time-"

"If you have nothing new, you can leave now," I snap at him, because if he isn't going to say anything worth my time, I don't need him here.

"How are you? After everything-"

"I'm fine." I don't need anyone telling me they are there for me, because they're not. My parents had no one helping them when they needed it, the police didn't care, and my parents not being here is going to change anything.

The officer goes to say something but stops himself, and stares at me for a moment, making me wonder what he wants to ask me.

"You might know more than you think, if you-"

"You can leave now." I tell him and walk into the kitchen, I know what he was going to say, and I've tried, my parents tried.

My eyes open quickly, and I walk over to my bag with the folder of all the information I had on my sister from the officer. Someone is trying to erase my life, the four men can't seem to find anything about my family. But I have proof my parents called the police about my sister. And I'm the fucking stupid one for hiding this from them, but I was too scared of loosing the only piece of my sister I have left.

Opening the door, I see White Eyes smoking a joint, he looks up at me, but says nothing.

"I've been hiding something from you," I take a step out of the bedroom.

"I know, I just don't know what. But I have a feeling you're hiding things from yourself too," he says, and I stop in my tracks. I'm not hiding anything from myself. Why would I hide something from myself? "What do you want to tell me little tiger?"

"Just promise me you'll give it back to me, that's all I ask." I take a step closer to him, and he tilts his head slightly to the left. "That's all I ask."

"Promise."

"This is the report on my sister, the officer gave it to me when I asked for it. I wanted to start from the start, and it's the only thing I have which-" I stop when he starts laughing, and shakes his head at me.

"You could of saved a lot of fucking time by giving this to us at the start." He takes the file off me, places it on the table and flips it open. I watch him reading it, moving my weight from foot to foot while I wait for him to say something.

"If I lose that file, then I lose everything I have on my sister, any connection to my sister. I wasn't sure if you would throw it, burn it or something else." I don't know what else to say to him, but I know I can trust him. I hope so.

He closes the file, and he puts his arm out for me to take it, but I don't. Doesn't he want to take a picture of it, or show his brothers. Was this a waste of time?

"I have a photographic memory, promised I'd give it back, and I have," he snaps at me, and I look over at the clock. No point going back to sleep now, because I won't be able to, maybe through the day I can get a few hours sleep. "Would you like me to make some breakfast?"

"No, I have to get to work, while you were sleeping I set up a camera in here, overlooking the living and kitchen space. Wesley can't be here, and we have to show our faces at work. No one will come in, and we will have eyes on the place at all times." He stands up and walks over to the kitchen.

"We?" I ask. I'm not sure how I feel with his brothers being able to see me at all times.

"Me, they will only have it when I can't be around. Lock the door." I smile at him, because if he will have the footage, I might have some fun with him, because I want him inside me again, and it might be time to play with the monster a little.

"Lock the door, and be good." He walks out, and I quickly lock the door behind him, and I hope he will be back tonight and take me out for a little bit. I need fresh air, I need a break from this place, even for ten minutes.