Chapter 25

25

RAEGAL

" T his had better be important," I growl at my oldest friend. Jasiel's eyes drift upwards to my hair, and he smirks.

"Apologies if I was interrupting something." His tone dances with amusement.

"You weren't," I snap, brushing a hand through my hair. "What is it?"

I feel his eyes drift over my shoulder to the figure in the bed. "I hate to interrupt your sleep, but we need you urgently. Someone kidnapped two Shadow Kissed from their beds tonight."

"Kidnapped?" I swear internally when I hear her voice behind me. Can she not just stay quiet and do as she's told for once?

"Reya," Jasiel says, a wide grin breaking out across his face. "Apologies, I didn't realise you were keeping Raegal company."

"I'm masking her scent," I explain, frowning as I glance over my shoulder at her and her flushed cheeks.

"Sure you are," Jasiel says, bemused.

"Can we focus on the reason for your interruption? You say they took them from their beds?"

Jasiel pulls his smirking eyes from Reya and straightens, clearing his throat. "By force and out beyond the walls of their hometowns."

"Rebels," I grind out, clenching my fists. "I'll meet you at my office. Awaken Colonel Graybane and Farran."

Jasiel nods his head trying to glance over my shoulder at Reya. "Sorry for disturbing your sleep, miss." He thinks he's funny. I slam the door shut in his face and turn to face her. She sits in my bed, her cheeks flushed, her lips swollen from my kisses, clutching the blanket to her chest. Betrayal rips through me. I feel like I have betrayed my mother by taking an Asen woman in my arms. When my father did the same, my poor mother had to stand by and watch as she gave him the children my mother could no longer provide.

"I have to go," I bark, striding over to my wardrobe and pulling out my military uniform.

"You think the rebels did this?" she asks from behind me. I can't bring myself to look at her. I hate everything she stands for and in a moment of weakness, I gave into my desires and those whispers of encouragement from my shadows to take her, claim her and make her mine.

"This is them. We will find them, though, and when we do, I'll tear them apart piece by piece," I promise as I pull on my boots. I force myself to turn and face her, and she looks as unsettled as I am about what just happened between us. Had Jasiel not banged on my door, would we have stopped? Would common sense have prevailed? "Get some sleep. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"But your shadows. Isn't that why I'm here?" Reya asks with a frustrated sigh.

"You'll be fine. You reek of my scent. No mutt will smell you for a few hours at least." I can't help the venom in my words, and she flinches in response.

"Fine." She huffs, throwing her head down on the pillow and giving me her back. I pause, feeling like a bastard for speaking to her like that, but then I remind myself what she is and how her kind are part of the reason my family are torn apart. I stalk from the room, desperate to put some distance between us and these conflicting and confusing thoughts she elicits from me.

W hen I enter my office, Jasiel is already there, sitting in a chair that he has pulled up to the window, resting his crossed ankles on the frame with a half-eaten apple in his hand.

"Are the others on their way?" I ask gruffly, walking around my desk and sitting down.

"They are. If you agree, I will organise a search party and we'll head out to the villages to gather more information and see if we can track their movements after they left the town."

I nod my head. "They're getting bolder, that's for sure."

Jasiel grumbles in agreement. "Bolder and more tactical. They seem to be upping the ante as well, given the attack on the convoy the other night, and now this."

I shake my head. "Whoever orchestrated that attack had control of the mutts. Unless the rebels have found some way to control them, then I don't think that attack was theirs."

"They took the women during the dead of night. Maybe they have found a way to control the mutts. Or they're suicidal and took a chance on fleeing with the women after dark," Jasiel says with a sigh and a shake of his head. "Could it be a talented crystal weaver has discovered how to create something that can control the mutts?"

I reach out for the chunk of onyx crystal on my desk and hold it in my palm. I've had little chance to replenish my energy stores and shadows tonight thanks to the distraction of the Asen female in my bed. I was so furious when I smelt him on her. The thought that he had touched her made me want to tear him apart. "I need you to instruct Captain Loring to increase the number of guards on the barracks."

Jasiel side glances me, looking perturbed. "Why? You think some of our soldiers are involved?"

I shake my head, placing the crystal back on my desk. "No. Reya somehow snuck into the barracks today and saw the boy." I can't help the sneer that crosses my face at the mention of him.

Jasiel chuckles and I snap my eyes to his. "Sorry," he says, holding his hands up. "It's just she really is a minx. Are she and he ex-lovers?"

"No." I growl, more aggressively than intended. I clear my throat and try to clear the anger racing through me at the thought of the two of them together. "I don't believe it's like that for her."

Jasiel studies me and I refuse to look him in the eye. "On that we can agree. She needs someone who can challenge her and meet her head. Someone to keep her out of trouble."

I snort. "Trouble seems to follow that woman wherever she goes. I've never met anyone so…"

"Beautiful," Jasiel suggests with an amused lilt to his voice.

I glare at him. "I was going to say frustrating."

Jasiel bobs his head from side to side. "Frustratingly beautiful then. How does she taste?"

"Exquisite," I reply, before realising I walked into the bastard's trap.

He grins widely and slaps his thigh. "I knew it! Good for you. It's about time you indulged in the pleasure of a warm female body."

I jump to my feet and pace behind my desk. "I should never have let it happen. I've watched as an Asen woman wrestled into my parents' marriage and destroyed my mother's happiness. I am ashamed that I gave in to my depraved desires for her."

Jasiel mutters something under his breath and, leaving his seat by the window, he comes and perches on the end of my desk. "You're not depraved, Rae. You can't blame yourself for what happened between your parents."

I bang my fist against the wall of my office. "If I hadn't killed my brother, Father wouldn't have felt the need to take an Asen wife and produce more children!"

Jasiel stays silent. He knows me too well and knows when to back off and leave me to my self-loathing. He can try to make me see things differently all he wants, but my brother's death was my fault and my mother's continued misery is because of my selfish and childish actions. Worst still I will have to return home tomorrow and face her knowing I held an Asen woman in my arms and almost took her as mine tonight.

Colonel Graybane arrives, and we receive a debrief from the town chiefs of both the missing females. It's clear from the evidence at the scenes that someone took them by force, and they did not go willingly. They were likely rendered unconscious. Making it easy for their kidnappers to steal away with them undetected.

After hours of discussion about our next steps, my mind returns to her. It's still an hour before sunrise and my scent will be diminishing now. "I need to return to my bed and replenish my energies, gentlemen. Jasiel and Loring, assemble a team and head to the villages to begin the search for the women. Report back to me as soon as you have news. I need to travel home tomorrow to brief the king."

I shadow weave back to my room. She sleeps soundly, her chest rising and falling with her breath. Her blonde curls fan out on the pillow behind her. My shadows spill out from me and seek her out. They almost sigh contentedly when they reach her, softly climbing her body and enveloping her in my scent. I hate that I crave her. Now I have had a taste, staying away will be harder than ever.

I sleep fitfully. Memories of my brother haunt me. Reminding me I am unworthy of happiness and love because he doesn't get to have that, so why should I? I'm transported back to that fateful day that changes our lives forever.

"I'm the eldest and the strongest," Haysen gloats as he knocks my sword out of my hand again and presses his blade against my heart. "That's why I was born first, little brother. Because I am stronger and steadfast."

I glare at him and knock his sword away from me. He offers me a hand to help me up, but I don't need his help. One day, I will show him I am just as good a warrior as him.

"You know what would prove you are the strongest?" I ask him as I ready my sword, determined this time to beat him. "Previous first sons had to journey to the caves of Snowridge and slay a Somak. Only then were they truly worthy."

My brother eyes me suspiciously, brushing his dark hair out of his eyes. "Father didn't, and he has proved himself worthy."

I jab to his right, and he steps out of my way, catching me on my side. "That's because we were in the thick of war. He will not make you do it either, because deep down he knows you won't win, and he can't afford to lose his heir."

He attacks me and our swords clash, steel against steel. "It's because of the war. That's the only reason I won't be following the traditions of our forefathers."

I smile, enjoying baiting him and making him doubt himself. "That's what he tells you because he doesn't want to upset you, but the truth is father doesn't believe you are strong enough to slay a Somak. I heard Master Aeron talking about it with General Sorin." I strike and hit him on his arm. I was unsettling him. Good. "But don't let it worry you. I'm sure no one will think you are unworthy. I mean, who would want to go out to the caves alone and take on such a fierce and mighty beast like that?"

"I am worthy. Take that back brother!" He goes on the attack swinging for me and I smile inside, knowing he is letting his anger control him, which means I could get the upper hand here.

"If you truly believe you are the strongest, then you'd take the journey our grandfather and his grandfather before him have taken and bring home a slain Somak. Just think, you'd be able to mount its head alongside all the other beasts slain at the hands of our forefathers, but I get it. It's okay to be afraid."

"I'm not afraid of anything," Haysen argues. "I'll go there today and prove you all wrong! I'll show you and everyone why I am the firstborn son. They will sing songs of my bravery!"

I gesture behind him at the rocky mountains in the distance. "Go on then. Prove it! Prove me and all the doubters wrong." I throw my sword down on the ground and, using my magic, I shadow weave back to my rooms in the east tower. He'd always been stronger and quicker than me, and it infuriated me to no end. Why did he have to be born first? Father was always praising him, and I'd get the odd ‘not bad' from him if I was lucky.

I don't remember falling asleep. I wake to find my mother shaking me, worry and fear written across her beautiful face.

"Wake up! It's your brother he's injured. Badly!"

I'm suddenly wide awake and I climb out of my bed as my mother ushers me to follow her. "What do you mean, he's injured? What happened?"

She wrings her hands together as her shadows gather to weave us there. "He went to slay a Somak. Foolish boy! Why would he do something so reckless and dangerous? He's no match for one of them!"

My stomach dips at her words, and a wave of nausea comes over me. He tried to slay one. I'd goaded him enough that he went up there and faced one of them.

"How badly injured is he, mother?"

My heart sinks when she looks at me. Her devastation was clear for me to see. "The healers are doing everything they can, but the venom is in his system now. He may not make it." Her voice breaks at the end and she grips the wall in the corridor and covers her face with her hands. "I feel so useless. I'm his mother and I should be able to help him and there is nothing I can do."

I wrap an arm over her shoulder. I hate seeing my mother cry. She exudes such vibrant energy that it's nearly impossible not to feel joy around her. "He'll be okay, mum. Arawn won't let him leave us."

My footsteps falter when we reach the infirmary, and I take in the state of my brother. My father sits by his bedside, holding tightly to his hands and whispering prayers to Arawn to save his son.

"Come sit with us and pray," mother suggests, ushering me to the other side of his bed. There is a deep gash down the right side of his face. His arm is bandaged and blood seeps through. But it's the deep wound in his abdomen that has me inhaling a sharp breath. Mother wraps an arm around me. "Try not to look. Let's just surround him with love and pray for a miracle."

I reach out to take his hand and my brother's eyes flash open, startling me. "You did this! You are the reason I'm dying!"

"No, no! I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this."

"You killed me!" my brother yells angrily, pointing at me.

" R aegal! Raegal, wake up!"

I inhale sharply as my eyes burst open. Eretreya hovers over me, concern etched in her face. "It was just a nightmare. You're safe."

My heart races in my chest. It felt so real. Reliving every horrifying second, like I was back in that moment. My breathing evens out as I realise it was just in my head. Eretreya leans over me, her curls brushing against my chest as she searches my eyes, her brow wrinkled with worry.

"A nightmare? I'd heard some soldiers report they had experienced nightmares, but I assumed that was because they were so close to the void."

She bites her bottom lip nervously, and I follow the move like a hungry vulture. Taste her, my shadows whisper, touch her. "What is it?" I ask, sitting up into her space, brushing her hair behind her ears so I can see her face better.

"I've been having nightmares, too."

"You have?" I ask, knowing full well that I already suspected she'd had a nightmare on the night I watched her sleep like I was some crazed stalker when we were back in Terleigh.

She nods and clears her throat. "What does it all mean?"

I shake my head with a deep frown. "I don't know, but I must return home today as planned and report to the king."

"The girls? Have they been found?" she asks, and I shake my head.

"Jasiel has taken a search party." I sigh. "What do you have planned for today?"

She rolls her eyes and fuck if it isn't cute.

"Reading, then probably crocheting, and then a walk around the gardens for the hundredth time." Boredom oozes from her words.

The words are out of my mouth before I can think better of it. "Do you want to escape for a while and feel the wind in your hair?"

Her eyes widen with excitement, and she sits up on her knees. "Yes. Yes, I do."

I smirk. I am out of mind. "Then get dressed."