27. Maven

It"s official.I really am going soft because I take it easy on my matches in our private training after combat class.

I"m a big believer in training like your life depends on it, since mine always did, but my quintet is in rough enough shape as it is. As we take a water break in the training room in Everbound"s dungeons, Baelfire tugs at his collar and paces like a trapped animal, Silas glares at the giant mirror as if he might attack his own reflection, and Crypt…

Once again, he seems fine. But he"s smoking that strange herb again.

Meanwhile, Everett keeps bringing up the little heart-to-shadow-heart we had yesterday.

"I"m going to need an actual explanation, Oakley," he mutters from beside me as I set down the water bottle Kenzie bought me weeks ago. "What the fuck did you mean?"

"Exactly what I said."

He shakes his head. Gone is the aloof professor. Right now, Everett's ice-colored eyes are soulful and earnest. "You said I didn"t need to worry about my curse killing you. But since the moment I first saw you, that is all I"ve worried about. Hell, my entire life, I"ve been terrified of exactly this happening—of falling in love with my keeper too soon and fucking ruining everything."

Yikes. The L-word.

Wait. Did Everett just insinuate that he"s…falling in love with me?

I stare at him, unable to process that. The others have said they want me, crave me, need me…all of that, I can approach practically or at least from a carnal standpoint, and it makes sense.

But this? I"m lost. I"m too fucked up to know what to do with tender, romantic feelings.

Growing up as an isolated, experimental living weapon, I never showed my true feelings to anyone but Lillian. Sometime after I turned sixteen, Gideon started saying he loved me whenever he got the chance. I brushed it off for months since it didn"t seem relevant, but he grew more aggressive and frustrated, claiming I was his reason for living and he would end himself if I didn"t say I loved him back. Of the thirteen kids taken from the mortal realm, he was my only friend. I cared for him, so I finally gave in and said I loved him, too.

That lie tasted like shit.

Honestly, the idea of love puts me on edge. It"s too vague, too soft. It brings to mind flowery nonsense, empty promises, sweet nothings, and other useless bullshit.

Obsession, on the other hand? That"s dark and twisted. It"s real. I"m much more comfortable getting unhealthily obsessed or borderline manic over someone else. Anything but falling for them. That sounds awful.

"Why does she look like a deer caught in headlights?" Crypt asks, stopping beside Everett and me with his hands tucked in his leather pockets. He hasn"t bothered removing it for training practice, probably because we"ve done very little actual training today.

His words make me realize I"ve been staring wide-eyed at Everett for too long. I quickly look away and clear my throat, noticing that Silas and Baelfire are watching, too. I"m tabling this topic with Everett because there are only two hours before curfew, and I want time after this to stop by Kenzie"s apartment.

"One more round. Then we"ll call it."

"Thank gods," Baelfire groans. "I"m starving. Hurry up and let her beat you like a drum, Si."

But when Silas takes his turn opposite me on the mat, he looks more focused than he did earlier, determination making his handsome features more severe. "If I beat you, will you truly tell us what you are, sangfluir?"

"Cross my absent heart."

That makes Crypt snort. Everett pipes up from the side of the room, folding his arms as he narrows his eyes at me.

"Will you be evasive about it, or can I expect an actual answer from you this time?"

Testy, testy. Obviously, he doesn"t like that I"ve sidestepped his questions yet again.

"Win, and I"ll tell you what I am, all about my magic, and the handful of ways I can actually die."

That makes all of them gawk at me. Although, that could also be because I finally strip off my top baggy shirt, leaving me in nothing but an exercise bra and pants. I haven"t broken a sweat today, but the way they all devour my appearance as if I"m posing in lingerie makes me suddenly feel flushed.

"Nothing you haven"t all seen before," I remind them brusquely, folding my arms to cover any hints of the ragged scar on my chest that I"m still iffy about showing. "Let"s do this."

"Hang on," Everett mutters, waving Silas over.

I raise a brow when they convene—all four of them. It"s practically a huddle, and that makes me grin. Are they going to try teaming up against me? That could be entertaining.

My smile widens when they prove me right, all moving to the mat and surrounding me in a circle. "Disregarding the rules, I see."

"What rules?" Silas counters. "You only said to keep it strictly combat."

"Fair enough. I"m going to enjoy taking you all on at once."

Baelfire winks. "Yeah, you will. But as fucking hot as that"ll be when it happens, you should get your mind out of the gutter and focus, Raincloud."

The gutter? How was I...

Oh, I see. Double entendre. Took me long enough.

Silas launches toward me first, and just like that, my senses sharpen into needle points. I block his attempt to grapple me and sidestep Everett, twisting around Baelfire when he makes the next move. It"s adorable that they want to fight me all at once, but without the cohesion that I"m trying to teach them so they can move as a team, they"re even sloppier than usual.

But they also seem ten times more motivated than usual.

Soon, all of my dodging, blocking, and ducking grows old. I kick my leg out to tag Everett. He sees it coming and changes direction but crashes into Baelfire, who swears viciously. I can tell Silas is about to attack my other side, yet I"m thrown off for a fraction of a second because...where did Crypt go?

Too late, I realize he"s tripping me from behind, working in tandem with Silas until suddenly, I"m pinned beneath the blood fae. He grins victoriously down at me, his red irises bright with excitement as he leans down to brush a kiss against the side of my neck.

That sends a shudder through me. We"re both breathing hard, and suddenly, my body is hyper-aware of the way he"s pinning both my wrists over my head as he straddles me. Gods, why does he have to be so handsome? Especially all worked up like this, his chest heaving and the veins bulging in his arms as they flex above me…

Baelfire chuckles darkly beside us, no doubt scenting my arousal. "On second thought, dinner can wait. Our keeper wants something else."

Silas hums in agreement. "And then we"ll get our other prize."

I quirk a brow. "You didn"t win the other prize."

Everett scowls, brushing off his hands as he gets up from the mat. "You"re literally pinned. We won."

Well, if they"re willing to fight dirty, so am I. So I lean up to lightly bite Silas"s throat, not even drawing blood. When he startles, I take advantage of his moment of surprise. Tucking my elbows down in a sharp movement to break out of his hold, I simultaneously thrust my hips upward. When Silas falls forward, trying to catch himself, I twist and dig a savage elbow into his gut, making him drop to one side.

From there, it"s child"s play to pin him down. I smirk when he scowls.

"No dice. Crypt slipped into Limbo to trip me, and that"s how you took me down. He broke the rules, so it doesn"t count."

Crypt stands with his hands laced behind his head like he has no care in the world. When the rest of them shoot him murderous looks, realizing I"m right, he grins unapologetically.

"We didn"t agree with that," Everett huffs. "He acted out of line, but that should still count."

"Popsicle Prick is right for once," Baelfire nods, ignoring how Everett looks like he wants to freeze his head off. "We"ve been training our asses off. Crypt was a dick all on his own, as usual, but the rest of us gave it our best. Can"t that count for something, baby?"

I release Silas and stand, shrugging back into my baggy shirt, which earns a surprisingly heavy sigh from Everett.

"I"ll catch up with you guys later. I have plans to visit Kenzie," I inform them.

Silas gets up. "We"ll walk you there."

Usually, I would protest, but considering the current mental state of my quintet and how they"re all looking at me like they"ll murder even a fly for daring to land near me, I decide it"s more time-efficient to just go along with it.

And if I"m candid with myself…I don"t mind that they"re so protective of me.

Aside from occasional help from Lillian or Gideon, I"ve been watching my own back my entire life. I can handle shit, but it turns out I kind of like how these four gorgeous legacies flank my sides and guard my every move.

When Kenzie opens the door of her apartment, she grins. "Awe, they all escorted you here? That"s so freaking cute! I mean, it"s also probably necessary because I totally saw two legacies killed when they weren"t watching their backs during class today, which was awful, but I mean—still. So cute. Hey, have you guys taken a picture of the Oakley quintet all together yet? You should! Hang on, I"ll grab my phone."

Everett turns and storms away before she can even think about getting a picture. Crypt vanishes, probably to stand guard outside this door until I come back out. Silas eyes Dirk suspiciously through the doorway, but Baelfire brushes off the offer for a picture and turns on his typical charm that"s been missing for days to ask Kenzie how she"s feeling and how their quintet classes have been.

They chat briefly about a shifter professor who apparently went missing in Everbound Forest before Baelfire and Silas leave so I can follow Kenzie into her room. Like mine, it"s the largest room in her quintet apartment. I guess that"s a keeper thing.

She rushes to shove a couple of what I assume are sex toys under the bed and then hops onto it with a wide grin. Her hair is in a messy bun that"s almost the size of her head, thanks to all the curls.

"Oh my gods! I didn"t want to say anything out there, but is Professor Frost, like…with you now? I mean, obviously, he was always in your quintet, but he was all standoffish and uninvolved, wasn"t he? But I saw the way he was looking at you earlier in the library, and holy wow. That is dead-ass, the exact kind of pining, starry-eyed, melt-your-panties hero stare that love interests always have in romance movies when they secretly can"t live without the heroine. So, did you finally get to sample Frost"s popsicle, or what?"

Gods. She said all of that in under twenty seconds. Her lungs are beyond impressive.

"I slept in his bed," I admit.

"And?"

"And we didn"t fuck, so don"t get too excited."

Kenzie pouts. "Monk."

"Slut."

"Guilty as charged," she nods and then sobers a little. "So, you talked with Harlow Carter earlier. Did it have anything to do with…you know. The changeling and yours truly?"

I suppose now is as good a time as any to ask her about this. "It did. She mentioned your families are both involved in the anti-legacy movement but on opposite sides. Her parents are Remitters who think all legacies should return to the Nether, so I want to know. What does your family do in the movement, and why didn"t you tell me about it sooner?"

Kenzie stares at me wide-eyed. "Whoa. Hang on. My family is part of the anti-legacy movement?"

Shit. I forgot about her memory loss. She doesn"t remember anything from before the past year or so.

"Forget I asked," I say quickly.

But she"s in full-blown spiral mode now. "Holy shit. Holy shit, May—they might be. They"re way friendlier with humans than most legacies because they work in human relations, but last summer, I noticed that they were going to meetings at weird times and were constantly calling unmarked numbers and…oh my gods. They even talked shit about the Immortal Quintet. They don"t like how things are run—maybe they never did, but I don"t remember. I—I kind of don"t even remember who I am anymore, much less anything about my family, and…"

She covers her face as emotion overwhelms her, and I once again wish I had killed that changeling far slower. My drama with my quintet members cut that pleasure short.

"You"ll learn more about your past when you visit your family for the holidays," I offer gently. "Rediscovering your past will help you discover any missing pieces about yourself."

Kenzie nods, wiping at her face. "Yeah. Yeah, you"re right. Gods, I was really looking forward to taking my quintet home to meet my family. I was calling my moms about them all the time and making plans. Fuck the Immortal Quintet for canceling that," she huffs.

Then she pales and looks at me.

"Oh. Um…you"re not a fan of the Immortal Quintet, are you? It"d be pretty awkward if you were after I said that."

I smile grimly. "Not even slightly."

"Oh, good! Because the way they"re running Everbound right now is fucking insane. Right? Like, no contact with the outside world? No fucking WiFi? And the faculty isn"t even allowed to send out student death notices to their families. This is all giving me the willies. What even is going on?"

I hesitate and then look at her thoughtfully. "You"re good at keeping secrets."

"Unless it"s a surprise party, yes. Why?"

"The changeling killed Headmaster Hearst."

Her eyes bug out. "What? But he"s supposed to be unkillable! How is it more people aren"t talking about this?"

"No one but myself and my quintet know, but that"s why the Immortal Quintet came here. Don"t tell anyone else."

She blinks. "Oh. Okay. Wait, but how did you find out?"

I almost give her a non-answer but I pause and consider my options. I"ve decided to fight for my quintet and spill my secrets to them, but I"ve known Kenzie longer. She"s been so patient with me, and she deserves answers. I still can"t say she"s my friend out loud, but I seriously don"t know what I would have done without her when I first came to Everbound.

She said I could trust her, and all my instincts say that"s true—even if she decides she hates me for who I am.

There"s only one way to find out.

After double-checking to make sure the rest of her quintet can"t overhear us, I brace myself for the worst and spill my guts. I tell Kenzie everything. How I was brought to the Nether as a toddler, was raised fighting for my life to become Amadeus"s weapon, was experimented on by necromancers until they turned me into exactly what they wanted, and was sent into the mortal realm weeks ago on a mission to slowly kill off the Immortal Quintet.

Hence why I ended up in Hearst"s office when he was murdered.

I don"t go into detail. I also leave out that the only thing keeping me "alive" is the shadow heart that Amadeus crafted, pulsing steadily with untraceable magic within my scarred chest.

And when it"s all said and done, I wait.

Kenzie stares at me for a long time, and then, to my horror, her eyes fill with tears.

"Oh my gods, Maven."

Is she disgusted by me? Afraid? I shuffle and straighten the gloves on my hands, worried that I"m about to lose her for good.

But then she wraps me in a gentle hug, careful to only touch my clothes. "I figured you came from a tough background, but…that sounds like it was beyond brutal. Most people would never believe that someone could survive there, let alone be raised there, but...oh my gods, I can"t even imagine what you"ve been through."

Something about her tone of voice is exactly like Lillian"s. I miss her so fucking much, and I"m mortified when my eyes start to well with hot moisture. I close them and clear my throat.

"It doesn"t matter. I survived."

"Don"t you dare minimize your own trauma. If you ever want to heal from it, you can"t pretend it doesn"t exist."

I sincerely doubt there will be any healing in my future. But I say nothing because my emotions are too out of control, and even if I trust Kenzie, I"m not about to fucking cry in front of someone else.

Finally, she pulls back so I can see the warm, honest affection on her face. "Do your guys know?"

"Yes."

She nods. "And they"re still obsessed with you. Good. If they"d changed their minds or had a problem because of something so wildly out of your control, I would have clawed their eyes out."

The mental image of Kenzie trying to scratch any of their eyes out makes me snort. "I would pay to see that."

"So…what happens after?" she asks, frowning.

"What do you mean?"

"Once you get rid of those immortal fucking jerks who are letting Everbound cannibalize itself. If you were trained to be a weapon and you finish your mission to get rid of them, what happens after that?"

I look away. Kenzie found the key question there, the one that not even my quintet has thought to ask. And there"s no way I"m giving her the answer. It"s too bleak.

"After that, I guess we all live happily ever after."

She squints. "You"re deflecting."

"I"ve overshared enough as it is."

Kenzie snorts. "You, overshare? As if that"s even possible." But then she smiles. "So…you"re not trying to make your guys hate you anymore, right?"

"Right."

She elbows me, waggling her brows. "So maybe the gods were right about them being perfectly matched to your soul, huh?"

I know what she"s after. She pushed so hard for me to just give in to my matches, and now she wants me to confess she was right. She"s looking for a sickly-sweet confession of how swept away I"ve been.

"They"re gorgeous idiots. But now they"re my gorgeous idiots." I hesitate and then clear my throat. "I have a question for you. Several questions, actually."

She squeals and claps like her day has just been made. "Okay, shoot."

My face feels hot, and I fidget with my gloves. "Don"t laugh at me."

"I"ll totally laugh if it"s funny."

That"s fair. "Is it normal to want to lick abs?"

Kenzie blinks. Then she bursts into the dreaded laughter. "Oh my gods! Maven fucking Oakley, you"re so cute. Lick all the abs you want, and I promise they"ll love it. Are your other questions about sexy stuff? Are you finally having your sexual awakening? Girl, if you're asking for a crash course in sex education, I"m so down to help! Keep the questions coming."

I do, and our visit lasts far longer than I expected. But half of the time, I"m distracted by Kenzie"s earlier question about whether or not my guys know.

I have a delicately balanced plan for how the rest of my mission is supposed to go. Now that I"ve decided to stop fighting my quintet and give in to temptation, I should include them in those plans and explain my blood oath.

And then, before all hell breaks loose, even if they can"t bind their hearts to mine...we"ll find a way to offset their curses together.