36. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

The Thrones are failing. The darkness calls to me, begging me home, but I cannot leave yet. The Thrones are failing, and my son is not strong enough.

~King Gethin, personal journals

Everything shifts.

The Shade isn't standing in front of me. There are no shadows. And Lee's hands are on my wrists.

I'm standing outside the pool, completely naked, but the Shade is nowhere to be found. "What happened?" I whisper.

You were about to do a terrible thing, Maeve Arden. An image of me catching the Shade in his own shadows rips into my mind. No, it's like reality has been replaced by it. Just like when she'd taken me and Cole flying over the city without ever leaving Cole's chambers. The image of me reaches for the Shade, and then I stop for just a moment. The shadows disappear, and the Shade takes a step back before falling into his shadows as he's done so many times in the past.

I don't really understand what happened. I remember reaching for the Shade's hood, but when I pulled it away… it wasn't real . She'd put me into a dream without me knowing.

"You tricked me," I whisper to Sia. Only to her. Lee hears me, but she doesn't say anything. "I could have found out who the Shade is."

Sia shakes her head. "The Shade is trying to… The Shade is good. You will not ruin what he is doing, Maeve Arden." She may not be crying, but there are tears in her words. "He is good. He is good."

Sia says the words. With her voice rather than in my mind. The words feel garbled, like it's a struggle for Sia to speak, but she seems so adamant about the way she feels. Then it clicks. She's been in his head. Just like she's been in mine. If he was here, she probably knew, and that means that she knows who the Shade is.

Her eyes sparkle, but no tears appear, and I turn on her. "Who is he?" I whisper the words, not sure that I can allow myself to speak loud enough that there's any chance someone outside this room can hear. I may want to know the Shade's identity, but I don't want him to be caught by the House of Flames or Steel.

She shakes her head. Her voice comes out clearly in my mind. I will not tell. I will die a thousand times before saying another word.

I stare at her silently. It's only then that I realize that all three of us are completely naked while having this conversation. "Don't tell Cole what happened. Please?" I ask.

Lee's eyebrow arches. "Why was the Shade here?"

I ignore her for a moment so that I can put my clothes back on. Our day of relaxation seems to have been ruined. "Because… I'm valuable to him, and he wanted to explain that bringing Sia here was dangerous."

Lee turns to Sia. "You can put your clothes back on. I think that this… adventure is over."

Sia nods and hurries over to the dark corner where her clothes are. Lee gives me one more frustrated look and goes to her clothes as well. For just a moment, I have a second to breathe. What just happened? I tried to unmask the Shade? He saw me completely naked, and I… I turned his shadows around on him. I overpowered the Shade.

But then Sia stopped me. I didn't know anything had changed. No idea that she'd trapped me in a vision. It's no wonder that the Great Houses forced the djinn into slavery. Their powers are too strong not to control.

I pull the undertunic over my head and then the dress on top of that. Lee comes over, wearing the same embroidered blue dress with buttons up the side. It's an unusual style and very masculine. She glances at the corset strings hanging from my back and, without asking if I need help, just starts tightening them.

"It is dangerous to bring Sia here," she whispers to me. "You saw how the proprietor talked to you. Slaves are looked down on more than humans. No one would complain if you brought a human here, since that's just bringing a snack on your daytime outing. A slave, though… That's disrespecting the establishment. Plus, Sia is hearing everything the proprietors of this business think. All the terrible things they're thinking of her and you."

I'm quiet as Lee pulls the laces tight and ties them together. Then I turn to her. I'm trying to be calm, to understand that this culture is not like mine. They eat humans here and enslave so many others. Draenyth is not like Blackgrove or any other village I've ever heard of. Being calm and accepting things are not the same, though.

"So you would be fine becoming Rhion's slave?" I ask without a bit of emotion in my voice.

It's Lee's turn to snarl. "Absolutely not. He'd just be doing that to hurt Cole. There are reasons…"

She stops and I realize Sia is standing next to us. Her footsteps were so quiet I couldn't hear her. There are reasons the djinn were enslaved. Yes. We are one of the few races that are as dangerous as the High Fae when we mean to be.

The look on her face is bereft of emotions. Even more than Cole has ever managed. She looks empty. It is strange, Lady Ainslee, why my kind were enslaved while so many other dangerous Immortals were allowed to roam free. The way Lee glances at her, I know she's talking to both of us at once. Sylphs, invisible and nigh impossible to kill, were the closest allies of the House of Shadows for as long as the House existed. The salamanders of the House of Flame are the reason that the House of Shadows fell. Their sight and speed nullified an entire Great House's skills.

I would have expected emotions from her, but not even a thoughtful expression crosses her face. Only that dim, uncaring voice. The one that's kept her safe as a slave. But the djinn, one of the fewest numbered races, were swept up and collared all at once purely because of fear. Don't you find that strange, Lady Ainslee? Master Cole trusts Nevan completely, and yet, he has murdered more Immortals than I have met. I have never taken up arms against any Immortal. I have never done anything more than drink from a human, and when I was done, they did not even know I had tasted them. It is strange, don't you think, Lady Ainslee?

We both stand there silently as she peers into the darkness in front of us. And into our minds at the same time. "It is strange, Sia," Lee says softly.

I look between the two of them and sigh. There's nothing I can do for Sia right now. I'd hoped that being pampered would be enjoyable, but I must have misunderstood too many pieces of the Immortal cultures.

"Is there anything you've wanted to do but haven't ever had the chance to?" I ask Sia.

She turns to me. Her eyes flutter closed for a moment. When she opens her eyes again, there's no trace of any sadness in them. Just a coldness that only years of living in danger could cause.

I have seen many things in the minds of the Masters and Ladies I have served. I have been to many places, seen many things, and the only things I have any interest in experiencing are not things that a slave can do.

I frown. What can't she do? "Like what?"

Fall in love, Lady Maeve. Have children that are mine . Not more slaves for my Masters to take from me, to use as tools against their enemies and for their pleasure. Long before the Shattering, no more djinn were born because our entire race stopped having children. Even when forced together, we do not allow ourselves to bear children.

The thought hits me hard. To be forced to work for someone, to do things you don't want to do, is one thing. To be deprived of love and to have your children taken from you… That is something entirely different.

"You'd like to go back to the Keep, then?" Lee asks. Neither of us says the thing that I'm thinking. That I'm sure that Sia can tell I'm thinking. That I want to help her, but I don't know how.

She nods to Lee. Yes, that would be best. Back to my collar and my cell.

Back to her collar and cell. That would be better than anything we could help her do. It breaks my heart to see her in this much pain. This morning, she hadn't felt like this. She'd been cold. She'd been a slave, yes, but she was not miserable. The only thing I've done today is force her to think about everything she doesn't have. About everything she'll never have.

Such innate desires. Love and children that are hers. That's all she wishes for.

"Let's call it a day, Lee." And Lee's expression tells me everything I need to know. This is the right decision, and all the decisions I've made prior to this have been the wrong ones.

The knowledge that I can hurt people even though I'm trying my best to help them only makes it harder. But I refuse to ignore the lesson.

I stare at Sia as Lee walks her out of mine and Cole's chambers. The silver collar is still in Lee's hands, as she postpones putting it back on until they are back in Sia's cell. Sia's body moves just as it has the entire time that I've known her. Unfazed by the emotional outbursts today. The tears are gone, and the cold, emotionless stare is back on her face.

Everything is exactly the same as when I first met her. Except that I can tell how much more pain she's in. Unlike so many other people in the world, there's no saving her. Not unless I tear down the entire system. Not unless I'm willing to become Queen like Cole has suggested.

I take a deep breath as Lee opens the door to leave, and Sia turns to look at me, an intensity to her eyes that I haven't seen since she told me that the Shade was good.

I know what you tried to do today, Lady Maeve. I appreciate the sentiment, but you are not in your world any longer, and it's obvious. There is no room for kindness here, for it breeds only more pain. You could try to change things. Your mother was powerful, and you could try to take her place.

But you're not strong enough, Lady Maeve. I was alive when the dragons left, and I have seen into the minds of thousands. I've experienced the world from more minds than you will ever meet, and you are not strong enough. I've seen the kind of strength it takes to rule this world. To change this world. You mean well, but you're just a Wyrdling with a bit of shadow magic. Not a High Fae. Not the Princess of Shadows. Not anyone of importance. You have no chance to save this world, and the best you can do is finish what you came here to do and leave. At least you'll save your cousin that way, and no one else will get hurt.

Goodbye Lady Maeve. Enjoy your life. I don't believe that we'll see each other again, but it was nice to meet someone who saw me as something other than a tool. It brought me pain, but… but it's not often that I see genuine kindness in someone's mind, and I will cherish the memory.

She walks out the door, and I can barely believe what I've heard. For a moment, I'd felt powerful. I'd won a confrontation with the Shade. I'd turned his own shadows against him even while I wore my mother's ring. But the things that Sia said are like a slap to the face. I've trained with Cole. I've watched what genuine power is. Whatever happened between the Shade and me, it wasn't me winning.

Because if I could overpower the Shade, then why would any other Fae be worried about him? Why would anyone need his help? I'm not even a full-blooded Fae. Just a Wyrdling with a little shadow magic.

Sia's the only person who's seen into everyone's minds. There are no secrets for her, and she doesn't think I can help anything. No one's seen my experiences and my skills like her. Only Sia knows it all, and she doesn't think I can help.

For a moment, I'd felt like maybe I could take up my mother's title. Maybe I was strong enough. Maybe… Maybe I could be what Cole wanted.

I'm not. I'm nothing without the Shade and Cole. The realization hits me hard.

I don't know if it's relief that floods my mind or despair that I can't help anyone else. The drakelings and gryphons and Fae who can't have children. The magical world is dying, and the normal one isn't doing much better.

I turn to look at my spear resting against the wall, a reminder of my life before learning I had any Fae blood. Cole had made it seem like I could do something, like I could help. The Shade had said that I was important.

But I'm just a stupid Wyrdling, and Sia knew it. She saw into my mind. She saw all the things I've hidden. Everything I am was laid bare to her.

Sia is the only person who knows everything, and her judgment was clear. I'm not meant for anything, and trying will only hurt people. I should just help Hazel and forget about trying to do anything else.