Epilogue I

Audrey

Five months later…

"He's perfect," Jason says as he stares at our newborn son with teary, wondrous eyes. He hasn't moved from his chair by my bedside since the nurse brought our bundle of joy in. "And you're a fucking queen," he adds. "Audrey, you're incredible."

I'm also exhausted. The epidural has worn off, and my whole body feels like a fizzling waterbed. My limbs are soft, and my fingers tingle slightly, but the mere fact that I'm holding my baby in my arms fills me with a whole new kind of energy.

"You're right; he is perfect," I reply, my heart filled with light. "Oh, God, Jason, I'm so scared."

"Scared?"

"What if I'm not a good mother?" I ask, my fears coming back to the surface after months of bubbling beneath. I've been holding this dread in for so long that I'd almost forgotten about it. But now that the baby is born, and I have no way of putting this genie back in the bottle, it's as if my mind is eager to become my worst enemy again.

Jason chuckles softly, pulling his chair closer to me. He leans in and plants a kiss on my forehead. His way of reassuring me, of reminding me that I'm not alone anymore. That I'm safe. "Are you kidding me? Audrey, you were made to be a mother. You're kind and patient, nurturing, and smart as a whip," he says. "Lily already loves you to the moon and back."

"She does, doesn't she?" I giggle, my cheeks burning pink.

"Audrey, you are already one hell of a mother to Lily, and you don't even realize it."

"Oh, Jason …"

"I mean it. You've got this. And in case you forgot, we're in this together," he lovingly reminds me. "When you're tired, I take over. When you need a break, I take over. When you need to breathe, I take over. Even if you don't need any of the above, I'll still take over, just to make things easier for you. I'm his dad, and I intend to make sure our kids grow up with both parents firmly rooted beside them."

"That is reassuring, actually," I giggle softly while our baby stirs in my arms. I look down and giggle some more. "He looks like a raisin."

"An adorable raisin," Jason laughs.

Swaddled in white cotton, it's been mere minutes since our child has entered this world. He's tiny and pink-faced, his eyes shut, his cute, round cheeks still puffy and wrinkled. His little hands are clumped under the cotton, and he's still trying to get used to his new environment. "He's so quiet and sleepy. Was it the same with Lily?" I ask Jason.

"Oh, yeah. I thought we were blessed with the quietest kid," he says, fondly remembering Lily's first days of life. "Then all hell broke loose."

"How is she, by the way?" I ask.

"She and Rita are on the way," Jason says. "You went into labor so fast I didn't even have time to call anybody."

"Lily seemed excited to have a baby brother. I wonder how they'll get along."

"She'll be a good big sister, I'm sure of it," he replies, smiling. "She's old enough to understand a few things. I reckon the five of us will make a great team."

I give him a curious look. "So, Rita's down to keep working for us?"

"Absolutely. She said we should have more babies while we're at it."

I can't help but laugh. "Y'all need to give me a minute to catch my breath here first."

A knock on the door has both Jason and me looking up just in time to see Anton and Vitaly walk in, each of them carrying a huge bouquet of roses and lilies for us. They look different from the last time they were in Chicago, tanned and healthy, fully recovered from the gunshot wounds. They're also sporting snazzy white linen shirts and slacks that make them look like hot surfer bros from the Californian coastline.

"I can't believe you two made it!" I quip.

My brothers light up when they see the baby in my arms.

"Are you kidding? We wouldn't have missed this for the world!" Anton replies, then proceeds to put both flower baskets on a nearby side table before he and Vitaly come closer to have a look at their nephew. "Holy smokes, Audrey, he's gorgeous."

"Looks like a raisin," Vitaly adds, raising a skeptical eyebrow that makes Jason and me laugh wholeheartedly.

"Bro, we all looked like raisins," Anton jokingly rolls his eyes.

"He's definitely a Fedorov. That nose ain't lying," my oldest brother says, then gives me a warm and affectionate smile. "Congratulations, little sis. You did it. We're proud of you."

"Congratulations, Jason," Anton adds. "Bet you he's going to be a handful."

"Let me guess, the Fedorov children were all handfuls," Jason replies, joining in on the banter.

We've been so worried and stressed about the whole Bratva ordeal, and we're still settling into what we like to call a normal life. Jason is the reason I smile more, he's the peace I've always wanted, and I do my best to reciprocate, but even I can tell that he sometimes succumbs to the fear of potentially losing me and the baby again. I can only imagine what it felt like when Dad told him that Arkady had taken me.

"You know it," Vitaly says. "Anton used to stick his fingers into every socket in the house."

"I only did that a couple of times; don't be so dramatic," Anton replies, then whips up his signature deviant grin. "But then I started using a fork. Total game changer."

Amidst the laughter and the joy, the jokes and the heaps of fun that we're about to deal with alongside countless sleepless nights and dirty diapers, I feel myself detach from the scene as if my spirit is hovering somewhere just above, watching them. My brothers are chucking puns and revealing embarrassing childhood memories of us. Jason laughing with one hand resting over mine. Me reminiscing and wondering about the future.

"Audrey?" Jason's voice pulls me back into my body.

I glance down to see a diamond ring sparkling in front of me. "What the…" I mumble, somewhat confused, while Anton and Vitaly stifle hard chuckles.

"She was not paying attention," Anton says.

"Are you serious?" Jason laughs as he holds up the ring for me.

"Oh, wow, wait … what?" I manage, trying to pull myself back to reality.

Jason takes a deep breath. "Will you marry me? I had a whole speech prepared, but then you went into labor and … well, here we are."

I need a moment to wrap my head around this. The ring is stunning. The diamond is huge, crowned with tiny sapphires on white gold. It's delicate, but it also stands out without being too ostentatious. The kind of ring he knows I'll gladly wear even while working with messy, chocolate-covered five-year-olds. My heart starts galloping as my brain finally catches up.

"Oh, my God …"

"Audrey, I love you. I never thought I'd meet someone like you, let alone get to build something so extraordinary together," Jason says. "I need to make an honest woman out of you, however. I plan on spending the rest of my life making sure you are happy, loved, and constantly evolving to always be the best of anything you ever wish to be, baby. Marry me and make me the luckiest man in the world."

"Jason … yes, absolutely yes!" I immediately reply.

He slips the ring on my finger. I'm briefly hypnotized by the light that bounces off the diamond and splinters into thousands of tiny, colorful shards just before Jason swoops in to kiss me. He pours all of his love into it, our lips trembling, our breaths faltering, as we join our hearts as one. Vitaly and Anton cheer in Russian and English with equal enthusiasm until I'm forced to shush them.

"You'll wake the tiny demon," Vitaly gives Anton a nudge in the ribs, nodding at our still-sleeping baby.

"His name is Edward," Anton corrects him. "We only call him demon if he ever sets the curtains on fire. I thought we agreed on that." He gives Vitaly a sly grin.

This is perfection.

It is more than I ever expected. And whenever I think about how Jason and I met, how we got swept up in that sizzling storm, clothes flying everywhere, secrets unraveling and damn near destroying us, I find myself feeling thankful.

Exhausted but thankful.

The best is yet to come. I know it.