Chapter 10

Audrey

O ne night turned into a week, and then a week turned into a month.

I have no idea how it happened, but Jason and I have been more or less living together since he took me away from The Emerald. He drives me to work, picks me up, and then drives me back and forth between home and his place so I can retrieve things that I need.

We go out once in a while. We go shopping for groceries or whatever else our hearts desire. We spend most of our time together, and I'm loving every second of it.

Lily is a treat. She's been the kindest, sweetest little girl, and I'm genuinely surprised by how quickly we've bonded. Rita takes good care of us, but I can't sit back and let her do all the work. Jason has started to attend Lily's piano lessons, and more often than not, he'll bring her back to find Rita and me working our asses off in the kitchen, making a scrumptious dinner for four.

We talk and laugh for hours, and I love spending time with Jason's daughter. It's weird how I've settled in so quickly with such ease and comfort.

I'm afraid it won't last, however.

Jason's security team scoured through the CCTV footage from The Emerald. They managed to get some stills from the tape, but the stalkers knew to dodge the cameras, so there wasn't anything conclusive—nothing that could be processed through facial recognition software by the appropriate authorities.

On the other hand, there haven't been any sightings or suspicious activity reported at The Emerald for about two weeks. It appears the coast is clear.

I cling to the hope that those bastards figured out that I skipped town and gave up. I'd hate to have to leave this place, this city. I definitely don't want to leave Jason. Lily and I have grown so fond of one another and Rita and I have grown close as well. I love my kindergarteners, even the spoiled ones, and my coworkers are great.

My heart soars with the purest energy whenever I'm with them, shaping their minds and teaching them to become better humans. It's why I became an educator—to provide the world with curious and educated minds.

We need a brighter future and mine seems a tad shady at this point.

As I browse through one of the drugstore aisles, looking for some cough medicine, I look up to see Jason by the haircare section, picking out some shampoo and conditioner. I love how he takes such good care of himself and his family. Unlike most men of considerable means, Jason still handles the little things. Groceries, household items … you name it, and he buys it himself. I finally got him to order some stuff online, though, to make it easier for him and Rita.

The more I look at him, trying to decide between shampoo brands, the fonder I grow of this man. I've yet to find the courage to tell him the truth, but he hasn't pressured me, either. That just makes me love him even more. Love . Oh, God, what a dangerous word that is yet it speaks the truth of how I feel. I'm in love with him; there's no denying that anymore.

"Can I help you?" one of the attendants asks me. I didn't notice her approaching; I was too busy fawning over my man. "Are you looking for something in particular?"

"Oh, sorry, um, yeah," I reply, keeping my voice down. "I need a pregnancy test."

The girl can't be older than twenty, dressed in the drugstore's branded white and blue T-shirt and a pair of jeans, her brown hair pulled back in a tight ponytail and a pleasant smile permanently adorning her pretty, tanned face. She glances down at the shelves. "Sure, we have a few options. They're right over here," she says, pointing the way as I follow her to the other end of the aisle.

"Thanks, I'll take it from here," I mutter and give her a gracious nod.

She nods back before going to help other customers while I grab the first box I recognize and head straight to the counter with it, careful so that Jason doesn't see me. I haven't shared my recent concerns with him, but my period is late, and I've been feeling a tad weird lately.

At first, I put it all on account of stress. Having to leave my apartment, fearing that my family might've found me in Chicago, adjusting to my new living situation. But the morning sickness hit me like a ton of bricks today as soon as I opened my eyes.

I need to be sure.

Once I pay and get my receipt, I slip the box into my coat pocket and go back to browsing through the cosmetics section. I don't like keeping secrets from Jason, but given the uncertainty of my situation, I don't want to tie him down in any way.

I haven't heard from my brothers or my father, but the note that was slipped under my door still haunts me. Someone from my old life knew where to find me.

"What are you up to?" Jason asks from behind, startling me.

I pause and take a deep breath. "You have a knack for sneaking up on me, don't you?"

He laughs lightly. "Yeah, but there's nothing like a good jump to get the heart rate going, right?"

"We're in a playful mood, I see." I giggle and get up on my toes so I can kiss him. He welcomes my lips and reciprocates with gentle sweetness, then shows me his small shopping basket. "Ah, there's the loot."

"Got everything we came in here for," he declares. "Found your conditioner, too."

"Should we get that cough medicine for Lily while we're here? I saw it in the other aisle."

Jason shakes his head. "Rita said she was going to give her the ginger, lemon, and honey concoction another day before resorting to medication. Lily's throat is getting a tad better, I must admit."

"Fair enough. If we can cure it the natural way, even better."

"Ready to go?"

I nod, masking my anxiety as best I can as I accompany him back to the counter. Once we're in the car, I sink into the heated passenger seat, giving myself a moment while Jason loads the trunk. We've been on quite the shopping spree all afternoon. There will be a lot to unpack when we get home, but Lily will be more than happy to assist.

Dammit, I love this feeling too much. I shouldn't have gotten so attached. But it's not like I could help it.

Jason is such an incredible man. Sexy, adventurous, and dominant in bed. A considerate gentleman in all aspects and a wonderful father. A great businessman with a mindset on growth and development. A patient and attentive boyfriend. I really hit the jackpot when I first stumbled into his office, angry and freezing.

"Something is going on with you," Jason concludes as he gets behind the wheel, giving me a long and curious look.

I try to laugh it off. "What? No, babe, I'm just exhausted. I can't believe I'm saying this, but this whole shopping session really knocked the wind out of me."

"No, I can tell there's more. I know there's a lot you haven't told me, and if you want to add whatever this is on top of everything else, I'm fine with that," he replies in a calm voice. "Just be mindful, Audrey, that there's only so much you can sweep under the rug before you find yourself overwhelmed and unable to cope."

"Jason, I promise everything's fine."

He looks at me for what feels like forever. There's something about the intensity of his hazel eyes that seems to drill deep into my soul. It's as if he can see everything, but he can't quite identify it. Therefore, he doesn't know how to confront me about it.

He knows I'm keeping secrets, and I'm aware that I'm constantly testing his patience. Jason deserves better from me, but if I tell him the whole truth, I am terrified that he'll pull away to protect himself and his daughter. I don't want to lose him or what we've built.

His family will always come first, as it should, and I respect that.

"Whatever it is, Audrey, I'll say it again—you can talk to me about it," Jason says. "In the meantime, buckle up."

"Yes, sir."

A smile tests the corner of his mouth as he turns the key in the ignition. He loves it when I say that, both in and out of the bedroom.

A couple of hours later, I leave Jason with Rita and Lily in the living room. They're going to be busy with the PlayStation for a while, which means the coast is clear for me to take the pregnancy test.

My heart is the size of a flea as I lock myself in the bathroom and follow the printed instructions to the letter. Hell, I'm so nervous that even my bladder fails to cooperate. It takes a few minutes but I manage to get it done, then spend another two minutes just staring at the stick.

I'm pacing the bathroom, going through each of my symptoms—the mood swings, the growing hunger, and cravings for food I normally wouldn't be that fond of, and unexplained fatigue.

Shaking my head slowly, I wash my face and pat it dry with a towel, trying to think of worst- and best-case scenarios, depending on the test result.

The blood rushes to my head as the lines gradually appear. Pink and bright. A decisive yes. A clear confirmation of something I never even considered but should have.

"Fuck," I whisper.

I'm pregnant. No doubt about it.

Whatever scenarios I tried to consider before are all gone. My mind is a blank canvas, and fear is swift in its attack on my senses as I struggle to keep it together. My breathing is erratic, and I'm struggling to keep my composure. Tears flood and sting my eyes. This should be a joyful moment, one that makes me feel happy, not terrified.

Deep down, I am happy. I am. I've always wanted a family of my own. Children to raise with the man I love. A man who loves me back. A man who makes me feel safe and nurtured, cherished and valued. But my past, my family … they have a way of spoiling everything.

I'm going to be a mother.

Technically unplanned, but we didn't exactly avoid it, either.

This is supposed to be cause for excitement and glee, not fear and anxiety.

I hear footsteps, and I rush to throw the test in the trash bin.

"Audrey, are you in there?" Jason's voice makes my heart jump.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a second."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just … you know, girl stuff."

I hear him chuckle, and then his footsteps recede. My mind suddenly works like lightning as I pull the trash bag out of the bin and head out to the chute in the kitchen, gliding past Jason and the living room without a care in the world.

"Audrey, what's the matter?" Jason asks, rushing to catch up with me.

I give him a faint smile and drop the bag in the chute, firmly shutting the latch immediately afterward, then breathe a heavy sigh of relief. "Nothing, babe. Like I said, girl stuff."

"Okay …" he pauses to carefully analyze my expression. I suppose the time he spent in the military gave him an acute sense of character and an ability to identify certain things through body language. I'm not a good liar, as he so often likes to point out, so I'm worried. I force a smile as I look up at him. "I'm going to give you one last pass today because we're both tired, but starting tomorrow, we will try a different approach. How does that sound?"

"I feel like one of my students," I mumble, my cheeks catching fire.

"Not without reason, though," he replies with a wry smile.

I look to the side and notice Rita and Lily watching us from the living room. I could tell him the truth right now. All of it. I could just spill everything from beginning to end and drop the pregnancy bomb in there, too, while I'm at it. But the fear of losing him, Lily, and Rita takes over, paralyzing me. I want to be around them for longer. I'm not ready to say goodbye yet.

I'll have to leave eventually, if only to keep them safe. I understand that now.

There's no way I'll truly be able to relax and be happy with such a big, ugly shadow hanging over my head.

"Fine," I say, nervously wringing my hands. "I've been meaning to talk to you, anyway."

"Honesty is the best policy," he says, still smiling. There is warmth in his eyes, kindness. So much patience. I know I haven't exactly been the best girlfriend, keeping so many secrets from him.

"You said The Emerald is clear, right? New security staff, additional security measures in place, no new suspicious activity?"

"Right," he mutters, giving me a curious frown.

"Well, as much as I enjoy spending all this time with you and Lily, as grateful as I am for your support, your hospitality, your … everything, maybe it's time for me to go home. Since it's been deemed safe, that is."

My heart seizes in my chest as I await his reaction. I worry he might get upset, but then again, we've been together for less than two months. Moving in on a more permanent basis shouldn't be happening anytime soon.

"I'll support whatever decision you make," Jason says, his tone calm and gentle. "While I love having you here, I don't want you to stay if it isn't what you want to do."

"Don't get me wrong, I love being here, too, but—"

"You've got your own place, your own life," he interjects. "I get it. And it is perfectly normal and understandable for you to want to be back in your own space. But just so I'm clear, we're not breaking up, correct?"

"God, no!" I blurt out, making him laugh, a lie that makes my heart hurt.

"Seriously, it's okay," he says, coming closer. He cups my face with both hands and pulls me in for a tender kiss. "I'll take you back to your place tonight after dinner if you want."

"Thank you," I whisper against his lips.

I feel awful. It's the first step I'm taking in what will probably be a painful separation process. I've never done anything like this before. No man has ever captured my body and my soul the way this man has, nor have I ever been so attached to someone.

Pregnancy is a massive issue, and I'm terrified of where all of these pieces will fall in the months to come. I may have to sell the apartment and take off again. The coast may be clear for now, but my family could try to get to me again.

I left New York behind for a reason, and I can't, I won't allow that reason to barge into Chicago and destroy Jason and Lily's life because of me.