Chapter 83

What am I going to do? My mind refused to move on from that question, my lips forming those words but my vocal chords not daring to express them, because I had no answer. Those garish bruises, worn like they were fine jewellery, on Giselle's neck. My hands shook as they reached up, shaking, to form the same on my own throat.

"Don't worry about that bitch," Rose said, smiling when she broke the spell I was caught in. "She's a twisted one, that one. The Raven had me train her to deal and take pain, like many of his girls, but her…" She shook her head sharply. "She was different. Some like taking it, some like giving it, but her? Something's not right in her head. She gets lost in it somehow, so I recommended the Raven put her somewhere else."

"So Father put her in the king's bed." Selene smiled tightly as she went to sit down behind her desk. "He thought she wouldn't make it a night, but now look where we are? Six princesses dead and a madman on the throne. He says this is all part of his damn plan, but I fail to see the wisdom of it."

"That's why I'm here." Rose's cheery response was at odds with her actions, the woman drifting closer to Selene like a planet caught in the sun's gravitational pull. She came to sit on the edge of Selene's desk, barely a hand's breadth between them. "The Raven sent me to collect that bag of tricks the princess brought with her."

"The poisons?" I asked, clinging to that idea, to the message in my mother's letter. "Why would he want them? Aren't we to take them to Desiree's?"

"Nothing so obvious," Rose replied, twisting to look back at me. "What if you were stopped by a king's guard? How would you explain your burden?"

"No guard stopped us on the way," I replied.

"And none will me tonight." Rose's hand strayed to the hilt of her sword. "Not unless they want to wear a Cheapside smile." She ran a finger across her neck. "No, I'll take the stash to the Raven. He'll have one of the kitchen staff put the relevant powders in the supposedly locked spice box in the castle pantry and you'll direct the cook on what to do."

She handed Selene a tightly wrapped scroll. The sister unrolled it and read through the contents swiftly, sighing as she set it aside, which drew me closer. I picked it up and scanned the words written there.

"Roseblood…"

"The king and his courtiers always like to partake after a meal, but apparently the stuff you've brought kicks like a mule?" I nodded sharply, remembering just how brutal that was. "Well, mixed in with a hallucinogen that will have him thinking his prick is a foot long, and hard enough to hammer nails with. He won't mind that shit that he sees, as long as he finds a wet hole to shove his dick in. Well, that and be craving his favourite pastries."

That's what we needed to tell Desiree to make. She would use the drugs hidden in the locked spice box to flavour the tarts that only the king would eat.

"My father would be wise to watch the situation closely. Finding a strain of roseblood that actually has an effect on the king will be impossibly seductive. He has to take enough to fell a horse most times to even feel a slight flush. The king will demand more be found, then gorge himself on the limited supply he has."

"You know your father," Rose replied. "He'll have the situation in hand. We just need to play our part."

Before anyone else could say anything, a sharp knock at the door had us all turning around. A postulant appeared in the doorway after Selene directed her to enter.

"A message has been sent, Sister Selene," the woman said, her eyes flicking around nervously to take in each one of us. "One of the women in Cheapside said her son is deathly ill…"

Desiree. Just like clockwork, the next cog started to whirr. Selene gestured for the postulant to come forward and she read through the message before shooting the young woman a comforting smile.

"I will attend to this personally. You have my thanks." She waited for the girl to leave and the door to click closed before turning to me. "You'll join me, Jessalyn. There are the robes of a sister in your chamber, ready for you to change into them."

"But won't someone see me impersonating a sister?" I asked.

"No one would blink an eye if they did," she replied with a shrug. "But if it makes you feel better, draw your hood over your head to disguise your face. All of our novices and sisters know that this is a sign you are on covert business."

Which made me wonder what exactly the sisterhood got up to. Were they just another arm of the Guild? I didnt get any answers as I walked back to my room, nor when I stripped my gown away. The loss of its weight was somewhat comforting, as were the robes. Thick, all encompassing and made from a soft wool, the unstructured garment felt somewhat disorientating on. I was painfully aware at all times of my corset, undergown, overdress and jewellery, to be so unfettered made me feel like I as going to float away. Instead I collected all of the contents of my mother's bag and then walked back down the hallway.

"We can't—" Selene's voice sounded harried, forced.

"If not now, when?" A sound I'd only just become accustomed to came from beyond the door. A kiss I realised with a blink. Who did they have in there with them? Had Rose managed to sneak a man within the walls? That had my heart beating all the faster. The only way I'd been able to sleep was to imagine that was impossible. The king, his men, could not work their way into this sanctuary without— "There she is." Rose sounded so very smug, a tone I was much more familiar with, though usually in a more masculine voice. "That's my girl. Open up for me." More kisses. "Gods, yes, just like that."

It was a small strangled sound that had me pushing the door open. I wasn't sure what I'd see, but it wasn't this. Selene gazing up at Rose with a kind of naked need I knew all too well. It hurt her, I was willing to bet, cutting her like a blade, but she leaned into its sharpness, not away. Her hands became claws, locking around Rose's wrists, but it was to hold the other woman's hands against her cheeks, not force Rose to release her. I'd never seen a moment's weakness in Selene until now.

Making me wonder if this was a weakness at all.

The way they jumped away from each other though hinted that it might be. Selene smoothed her hands down her habit, Rose smirking as her hand returned to her sword, but she caressed the hilt just as she had Selene seconds before.

"Your Highness…" Selene seemed to grab at a title she had long since dropped when she spoke to me. "You're ready?"

"Ah, yes—"

"God, good. If you can give Rose the bag, we'll be on our way."

I held out the satin bag, its weight oppressive so it was a relief when Rose took it. She sketched me a small mocking salute before undoing her leather armour and pushing the contents inside.

"Wheels have started to spin, Selene," Rose said, turning back to the sister, "and you know what that means. You'll be free. We'll be free." That promise drew her closer and Selene shot me a panicked look that was quickly dispelled the moment Rose pressed her forehead against the other woman's. "Then they'll be nothing to keep us apart. Nothing."

"Nothing…"

Selene whispered that with far less confidence, but Rose had enough for both of them, pressing her lips against Selene's for almost a sisterly kiss, if the passion between them was not immediately apparent.

"I'll see you again soon, my love."

And with that Rose strode out with a jaunty wave my way, leaving the two of us just standing there.

"I'm sorry you saw that," Selene stammered out.

"Why?" The question was bald and my fingers went to my lips the moment the word came out, but I forged on. "I mean I didn't realise two woman…" I paused, then sucked in a breath. "I know very little of what goes on between men and women." I smiled. "Or women and women for that matter. Men and men?" She nodded. "Well, that explains Sir Gadleigh and Sir Maddon. Knights at my father's court," I explained. "Inveterate bachelors, that's how they were described, but they do not frequent the stews down at the docks. Instead they share a room… Oh gods." I slapped my hand to my forehead. "They're life partners."

"It is not a common thing. Hated in men, ignored in women, but yes, some of us prefer our own gender rather than the opposite sex. I like men well enough, but Rose…" She stared fixedly at the floor. "My father let me join the sisterhood because it keeps me in a holding pen until he's ready to deploy me." Those green eyes bore into mine when they flicked up. "Marry me off to some ally or another."

"But not Rose?" I stared at the open door. "Can't you marry her?"

"She doesn't belong to the right family, nor is she likely to give me sons to continue my father's bloodline."

I snorted, shook my head as my nose wrinkled. "Gods, they're all the bloody same, aren't they? I thought that was just the lot of princesses. I hoped other women might enjoy more freedom."

"People might not call me Highness," she replied with a wry smile, "but in my father's world, I am what passes for a princess. The Raven's own blood. My future husband might not inherit the mantle of Raven, but he would be best placed, through me, to influence my father and then my brother. That can't be wasted on a sword for hire like Rose."

"But your heart is…" I swallowed, realising how my words sounded. "Not wasted, but lost to her. You love Rose."

"With my entire heart." Selene looked so very beautiful then. She was always gorgeous, but right now she glowed with an almost unearthly light. "I always have and I always will, no matter what fate might have in store for me, but…" She touched the still half rolled scroll. "We have business to attend to tonight, to ensure Rose and Desiree and everyone else survives beyond the week. Are you ready, Highness?"

"Jessalyn," I corrected with a nod, "and yes. I'm ready."