Chapter 76

"What the hell has my brother got me into now?" Desiree said with a long suffering sigh I knew well. If I had any doubts about her being Roan's sister, I had none now, because her irritation with the man was a twin of my own.

"We—" I started to say.

"Another poisoning." Selene nodded to us, ostensibly focused on the postulants who were still distributing parcels to the many women clustered around the water pump.

"Well, that went well last time. Do I ask one of my sisters to take on the care of my children and crippled husband now or later?" Desiree snapped. I blinked, not having thought of the possibility when we discussed poisoning the king last night. "Or will the Guild take on their care, turning my daughters into whores and my sons into thieves?"

"You will be safe." Selene said the words with complete calm and certainty. "As you said, you stay clear of my father's gambling dens and whorehouses. There is no blood debt to be paid."

Desiree's mouth opened, closed and then she let out a long sigh, shaking her head, before saying, "So what do I—?"

"Desiree!"

I knew that masculine voice. My whole body stiffened, my heart feeling like it began to race from a standing start. My head turned in his direction without meaning to, catching the way Roan's eyes widened at the sight of the three of us, right before he frowned and marched over.

"Jessalyn…"

He'd sighed my name so many ways, from a sad thing, to one of frustrated desire, or one satisfied. I shifted restlessly, almost able to feel the rasp of his stubble between my legs, right before my brows jerked down.

"What're you doing here?" Apparently I didn't answer quickly enough, so he turned to Selene. "You're supposed to be keeping my girl safe."

"My girl?" Desiree's eyebrow jerked up as she looked me over much more closely. A small smile formed. "Gods, you haven't saddled yourself with this idiot, have you?" We all glanced over her shoulder as Arik and Silas appeared shortly after. "Or them? Is that how it works, being pack—?"

"Enough of that." Roan let out a huff of breath. "Selene Corvus talking to my sister is not something that gladdens my heart."

"I speak to all of your sisters regularly while performing my duties as sister of the temple."

If Selene meant that to be reassuring, it wasn't. Her green eyed gaze had all of Silas' quiet intent and just a little more. A deadly intent that had Roan blustering.

"All of them…?" He reached out and hooked an arm around Desiree's waist, dragging her behind him. "Desi, what did I tell you about frequenting Guild establishments?"

"Not to, a rule that me and Bill have followed scrupulously." Desiree wriggled to get free, managing it by thumping her brother on the back. She flicked her hands down her immaculate apron and frowned as she stepped free of Roan. "But that means nothing when you used your connections…" She shot Silas a dark look. "To get me a job in the castle kitchens. It pays better than anything I've ever had before, keeps a roof over our heads and lets you send your wages to the other girls, but…"

"But every good turn requires repayment." Silas was the complete opposite to his sister, with no sense of calm, only scorched frustration. He nodded to his sister. "Father has you enacting his plan?"

"So he filled you in?" Selene's voice took on an arch tone. "Good, then I won't have to waste time explaining." Her gaze flicked around the square, taking in the decaying architecture and the dingy streets. When she saw none of the king's agents lurking in doorways, she continued. "Father needed those poisons delivered and now they are within the city walls, it's time to put the plan into place."

She faced Desiree.

"You'll be expected to send word to the temple that you need one of the sisters to attend to you. Say that one of your children is ill or something and I'll come to minister to them."

"Benny has a snot nose," Desiree admitted, raking a hand through her flame bright hair. "Has for weeks. It's turned the most peculiar shade of green."

"A happy coincidence then. I'll bring some expectorants and something to dispel the infection," Selene informed her. "The rest of the plan can be discussed there, where there are considerably fewer witnesses."

"Witnesses?" Roan snapped. "Plan?" He shook his head sharply. "No, no, no—"

"Yes." I watched Selene stand up to the tall warrior, trying to memorise her stance and her tone of voice, because the woman had all of the queenly command I'd longed to master. "Someone's sister, mother, or even lover must be the one to put this plan into place. You blather on about wanting to kill the damn king. Well, how did you think that would go? You'd just stride into the throne room and lop his damn head off?"

But that's exactly what we wanted. Roan's eyes found mine across the small circle.

"If that's what it takes. To keep Desiree safe. To keep Jessalyn…" His lips pressed together, that cunning tongue flicking across the bottom. "To stop that prick from getting his hands on you. I'd do it the next time I see him sit his lily white arse on that throne."

"And how long will your head sit on your shoulders?" I asked, and once I found my voice, I didn't want to stop talking. "You want to protect me from the king like you did that catamount?"

I blinked, feeling a terrible pressure in my eyes as I saw it, his heroic leap into the water, the cat's snarling head falling into the water, unable to snap those jaws down on me. But it wasn't hard to see my head, his, Silas' or Arik's doing the same thing. Sneezing into a basket that horrid woman had called it and to my horror, I felt my throat closing up, clogging with tears. At the thought of my own execution I assured myself.

"If that was the way, you would've done it before this." I glanced at Silas, then Arik, each man standing taller when they had my attention. "Any one of you has reason enough to want to cut the king's head off, but you didn't." Gods, my voice started to quaver and Silas took a step forward, but I shook my head. "You didn't, so you'll have to reconcile yourself to the fact this is something better done by women."

I felt some of Selene's imperiousness in my spine then, or my mother's.

"We are overlooked, dismissed, assumed to be compliant, and then beaten if we aren't. We are the best placed to slip something past the king's defences."

"And vulnerable." Arik bit those words off. "Don't forget vulnerable. We won't be with you." His focus shifted almost reluctantly to Desiree. "With either of you if this is what you choose to do."

"Does one ever choose to do anything when the Raven has his fingers in the pie?" Selene said. "Stop talking as if there is a choice to be found in any of this. Desiree, call on me soon. Tonight if you can."

"Of course, Sister." All the fire seemed to have gone out of Desiree then as she bent her head, bobbing Selene a quick curtsey, but it returned soon enough when she looked sideways at her brother. "But I'll be talking to you sooner." She offered him her arm. "It seems like you've got a bit to catch me up on. A princess and the king's intended? What were you thinking, Roan?"

"I wasn't." I needed to look away when Roan's gaze bore into mine. I needed to pull away from this intimate moment that should only be shared by family members. "Creed warned me, told me it would happen when we created a pack together, but I didn't really believe him. That one day a girl would walk into my life and it'd feel like the whole world had stopped spinning on its axis, that it wouldn't start again until she said so. That I'd screw up, fail her." Desiree let out a hiss. "But in the end one thing would remain. A need to prove that I was worthy of her, all the while knowing I wasn't."

I didn't expect him to step free of his sister, to come closer. I definitely didn't expect to want to move closer myself, instead belatedly taking a much more appropriate step back. While it was hardly likely there were spies for the king down here, if there was, they'd report back our proximity and the intensity of our gazes.

"I'll kill him for you," Roan promised, even as I made a small sound of protest. "I will. I don't even care if I die doing it." He blinked, as if surprised to be saying those words, but he rallied quickly. "I'd be glad to."

My sigh came from the depths of my soul, as if there was air there that had been held in my lungs since the moment I left my homeland.

"If only you knew how much I needed to hear you say that." I forced myself to smile. "Needed. The scared little girl that had been protected by her parents from the harshness of the world wanted a champion so very much."

That careless smile, I hadn't realised how much I missed seeing it. My fingers twitched, wanting to feel the rough texture of his reddish stubble and then trace that impudent curve, but instead my hands formed fists.

"But I'm not that girl anymore. You tore away all of my illusions." I hated the wrench I felt when that smile faded. "You made me aware of all of the very real dangers that abound, but I learned something for myself."

Silas' mouth twisted slightly, his eyes shining bright, as if somehow I'd done something to please him greatly, but it was Arik's gaze mine locked with.

"That you'll never have the safety, the security you crave unless you grab it with both hands. You'll only ever possess that which you can take, you can hold, you can protect and maintain and most importantly…" I sighed. "What those in power will allow you to have. Because if they can snatch it away without a second thought, it means nothing, none of it. I'll never have a moment's peace unless I can be sure I live within a realm where at the very least there is a ruler who doesn't care about me enough to want to take happiness from me."

What the hell was I saying? I blinked, the stink and the noise of Cheapside flooding in. Where the hell had those words come from? But as I considered them I couldn't think of any I wanted to retract. No, instead something hardened inside me, a process that began back in the packlands. I could put the veil back on and allow others to lead me forward, hoping that they would do so well, or I could do this.

Tear the veil away and stare reality down, daring it to make the next move.

I nodded slowly.

"So while I know this will prick at your very large masculine egos, this is not a moment for a full frontal assault. No swords flashing, no knives thrown." Silas' teeth flashed as he grinned in earnest. "This attack on the king needs to come from a quarter he would never anticipate. Women."

It made a pretty picture in my mind, to see the blasted king die at the hands of the very sex he seemed so determined to abuse.

"I will come when you call as well, Mistress Desiree." I dropped her a quick curtsey. "My mother taught me several good recipes to alleviate a persistent infection. A steam with the pungent leaves of the turpentine tree can be most beneficial."

"Of course, Your Highness." The woman looked considerably happier, despite our treasonous plans, eyeing her brother then me with amusement. "I look forward to it."