Chapter 7

We went staggering out of The Siren and into the street, but I had no idea where our final destination was. The sun was starting to set, casting a hazy golden glow over the whole area of the docks and the wide expanse of water. The illumination didn't follow us as we moved down into the alleyways. We walked as a group down the dank, cramped streets, though it wasn't long before I started to lag, having to hold my skirts up to avoid them dragging in the dirt. When I stopped for a moment to rearrange my grip, Creed turned his head, quick to note my absence. He stalked back to me, then, bending down, and in one smooth move, he grabbed me around the waist and hoisted me over his shoulder. He straightened up and caught up with the others easily, despite carrying me like I was a sack of meal. Before I could protest, Roan moved to Creed's side, matching his pace, and tilted my chin his way.

"Any of that sweetness for me, lass?"

There shouldn't have been. I barely knew the man and knew nothing of his character, yet that seemed to be the blessing of roseblood. I didn't care whether I knew him or not, his strong features drew my hands forward, and then there was all of that red hair. I petted it like one might a lapdog as Creed grunted, feeling me wriggle in his grip as I tried to get closer.

Kissing Roan was an awkward affair at first, with the bounce of Creed's steps forcing our teeth to clack against each other before Roan's hands went to my cheeks. He cradled my face gently before brushing his mouth against mine. The roseblood freed me; left me caring little who it was that I kissed. I just needed to feel someone else's mouth against mine, a tongue sliding sinuously past my lips. I sighed and squirmed until Creed took my waist in his hands and dropped me to my feet in front of him. His eyes glowed with an unearthly light as he herded me backwards before my body collided with a closed door. I felt the handle press into my hip as he slapped a hand above the wood over my head.

"You're drugged, girl. Most people don't have this kind of reaction to roseblood, and if they do, only for the first few times. But you're well and truly flushed."

"Flushed? That's what this is?" I smoothed a hand over the leather armour he wore, something deep inside me pleased by the breadth of his chest. "I had no idea that this is how it could make me feel."

"And I've got the antidote."

"So do I," Roan said, moving forward to look at me over Creed's shoulder, his face falling when he saw the other man pull out a pouch of herbs. "You bloody killjoy."

"I can brew you a tea and it'll take the heat away. You'll be as you were before," Creed told me, his eyes boring into mine, but that was exactly the wrong thing to say to me. Dimly, I remembered what ‘before' meant and I knew I didn't like it at all.

"Or you can play with me."

Roan produced a leather pouch of a now familiar red powder, then licked his lips before coating them with roseblood. I smiled and threw my arms around his neck to draw his head down to me, his lips to mine. Gods, this was much more preferable than the way I'd first tasted it. No bitter beer, just a rich, carnal sweetness that had my blood fizzing in my veins and my hands running across the thick muscles of his shoulders and his back as I rubbed up against the front of his body.

"Where's this suite?" I asked as I pulled my head away, my voice hoarse with passion.

"We're here."

A hand slid between us and pulled me free from Roan. Arik was standing in front of me. He watched me lick away the residue from my lips and shifted closer, putting his hands up to my shoulders. A hand went around my throat, tilting my head up, offering me to him. When I tipped my head back, Silas smiled down at me. He didn't loosen his grip, not until Arik had kissed me. I was getting the hang of it now, this savage dance of tongues, even though it had my head whirling. Then Arik pulled away and drew me with him, up a staircase and onto a landing and then through a door that opened into a fine suite. It smelled of men—close, richly spiced and completely alien—and my thighs started to rub together the moment the door was closed and locked behind us.

Arik released my hand, but stared down at me as he fed the tongue of his belt through its clasp and slid it free, his money belt and knife sheath going tumbling, unheeded, to the floor. The others drew closer around me. He reached up to undo his shirt, but I put my hands over his, stopping him. His blue eyes had become like chips of ice, cruel and hard, though a half-smile touched his lips as I undid each button. And I realised I didn't care about what he felt or didn't feel for me. And I didn't need him to love me, or even like me.

What I needed was the one thing I'd been denied all my life. The freedom to make my own decisions without worrying about how they might impact others.

I knew not what went on between a husband and a wife, but I did know how bulls covered cows, how stallions covered mares. There seemed to be a lot of bellowing and screaming, but then the mechanism of producing more progeny began. His… member pushed inside her, over and over until they… like the serving girl and the sailor in the tavern… My hands hovered in the air, trembling slightly.

My father and the King of Khean valued me for my untouched state, like I was a journal that would be ruined the first time someone opened it to use. But I was more than a blank page to be written upon. I was writing my own story, one touch at a time. Taking a deep breath, I smoothed my hands over Arik's bare chest, then decisively shoved his shirt from his shoulders.

Oh.

So this was why unmarried women were kept as good as blind around men. If I'd known this was what lurked beneath a man's clothes, I'd have thrown one of the footmen down on a bed and ravaged him years ago. Arik's skin glowed gold in the lamplight, and his body was hard where I was soft. My eyes were everywhere. Muscles tightened and shifted as he moved, and he let out a low chuckle.

"See something you like, Pearl?"

"Yes," I said, all ability to lie stripped from me, my breathing ragged. "Gods, yes. You're so… And I…" I drew my hands down his chest, then pulled my fingers into my palms, resting my fists on his skin. He lifted his hand and covered the one over his heart, holding it hard against him.

"And you are so very beautiful." His voice was husky.

He lifted his other hand and tilted my chin upwards, then kissed all the breath from my lungs, only dropping his hands when the others moved forward.

They worked as quickly and as neatly as ladies' maids, undoing the buttons of my underdress and letting the fabric fall, then removing what was left of my clothing until I stood bare before them all.

In the minds of the men at court, I was allowing myself to do something completely degrading. Standing naked before four men as they devoured me with their eyes, their fingers twitching as if they were dying to touch me but didn't yet dare. What was never spoken of was how wonderful degradation was. I felt as if my whole body glowed as they looked at me so lustfully, and a pulse of heat rushed through me in time with my heartbeat, the sensation growing and growing the longer they stared.

"Well?" I said, tossing my hair back over my shoulders and staring right back. "You promised me pleasure."

Roan let out a low growl, stepping forward, but Silas slapped an arm across his chest, stopping him from reaching me. I didn't like that at all. When those keen green eyes were turned on me, Silas' gaze felt like it was cutting me to the quick.

And that I was leaning into the blade.

"Let me check one thing first."

"What?" Arik blinked and seemed to come back to himself. "She said she's married."

"Then it won't matter if I do this."

Silas pulled me back to him and his hands were so blessedly cool against my heat that I melted into his touch. His nose grazed my neck, sucking in my scent as I writhed, pressing into him. I twisted in his grip, turning my face up to his, seeking that cruel mouth, but his keen eyes only looked deep into mine. Then he put an arm around my waist and pressed a hand between my shoulder blades, pushing my upper body forward.

I let out a little giggle as Arik caught hold of my wrists and held my arms out in front of me.

I felt like a doll being manipulated into position. Why did that make the pulse between my legs beat furiously? Silas seemed to know exactly what to do with me. A hand clamped around the back of my neck, keeping me in position, right as a hand slid up inside of my thighs.

Oh gods…

I didn't even know which ones I was praying to because the heat in me was flaring hotter the higher his hand got. It seemed as though I could feel every fingertip, even the whorls on the pads, as he moved them higher. Some instinct kicked in, just like it did in cows and mares, having me spread my legs wide to make his passage easier. And that appeared to be exactly the wrong, or right thing, to do. His low chuckle bit into my skin like a million tiny knife blades, making me flush with shame.

But that wasn't the predominant feeling.

Hunger. I had a hunger for pleasure that would've had me driven from court, shunned by everyone I knew, and I didn't care. It was as if something inside me had been tamped down and locked away for so long that it wasn't until Silas pushed the key in and twisted that it could be freed. Fingers slid through something slick then parted me like a book, spreading my pages wide. I moaned as I felt his hand leave my neck and slide down my spine. Then I heard him drop to his knees behind me and both of his hands gripped my hips, holding me fast.

"Yes…"

Silas' fingers bit deep because I was swaying like a reed, blown around by winds I didn't understand, yet helpless to do anything else.

Helpless…?

My mind grabbed at that word and held onto it, turning it over and over inside my head. My eyes fell closed because I couldn't look at them and feel with such intensity at the same time. It was a stunning realisation to have, but I liked the sensation of Arik's hands gripping my wrists, of Silas holding me right where I was. Of being forced to do this, all of my choices taken away. That didn't make sense in one way because it was just like what my father and the King of Khean had promised to do, but the difference was that I made the decision to come to this room, to be with them… I moaned. Silas moved one hand to circle the aching part of me, but he didn't actually get to the core of the matter. I didn't know what I needed, but he seemed to. His fingers traced me, outlined me, until I felt him get closer, his breath fanning my sensitive skin.

He was staring at the most intimate part of me and that had me flushing in shame, pulling against Arik's hold. But I didn't really want to get away. Relief washed through me as he held me fast, forcing me to submit to Silas' inspection.

"You poor little thing…" The gentleness in his voice surprised me. "So swollen and overheated. You must be feeling so needy."

"Yes…!"

My voice cracked as I let the word out, a ragged plea for whatever he could give me, but I was left wanting. Silas pulled away, slapping a hand on my backside like a man might do to a cow after milking her, before he got to his feet and turned to the others.

"Just as I thought," he told them. "This one hasn't been touched."

"A virgin…"

I hated the look in Arik's eyes as I straightened up, the heat staining my cheeks coming from shame, not pleasure. I hated him for taking that away from me, reminding me of all the baggage that had been piled upon me, none of it with my consent. Like with this heat, this ache that throbbed in my body, I'd been lied to all this time, denied this pleasure. My hands slid across my bare skin, left to touch myself if no one else would, and to my surprise, the pleasure flared brighter. Not as bright as it would if he was touching me, which is why I took an involuntary step towards him. My eyes begged for something I couldn't bring myself to articulate.

Whether I was untouched or not didn't matter to me, not if I longed for his hands on me. This was my body and I'd be damned if anyone else would determine its worth on terms I didn't value. Because all of this hoo-ha about virginity just seemed as though it was tied up with the veils we were forced to wear. We were hidden from sight, but also from seeing, from experiencing, outside of the women's quarters. Every way of us interacting with the world was completely imposed by those in power. And, despite my title, I didn't have that power. I was a princess—of all the women in the kingdom I was outranked only by my mother and grandmother—so why had I allowed myself to be denied something even a serving girl enjoyed?

"If it matters not to me," I said, using my most imperious tones, "then I can't think why it would to you."

Roan grinned and stepped forward again, his eyes like molten gold as he moved to me, full of the promise of a thousand pleasures, but this time it was Arik's arm that blocked him from getting any closer.

"No. She's mine," Arik growled.

Yes! That was what I needed: that. To be wanted with an intense kind of ferocity, the kind that had my body throbbing and my heart singing. If it was only for tonight, then all the better. I'd get up in the morning and leave, never to see any of them again. But for now… I needed to see Arik shove Roan back, for the other man to stumble. I needed to see Arik's head drop down to look at me, his eyes filled with blue fire. I needed his hands clamping down on my arms to pull me closer, holding me tightly against him. It was too tight for me to be able to raise my own hands to touch his chest even though I tried. He worked out what I was about and his grip loosened. I mourned the loss of that tight hold for half a second until his mouth slammed down on mine.

Arik's lips branded mine, claiming them as his in a way that made me fear he'd leave a mark long after I was gone.

And that when I was alone I would crave just that.

I leaned up into him, clinging to the massive breadth of his shoulders, seeking the grind of his teeth, the slip of his tongue. As though I'd asked the question, he picked me up in his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me across the room until my back was slammed against the wall. Air was driven from my lungs, but Arik breathed it in, right before funnelling it back. My nails dug into his shoulders, raking his skin, but that wasn't enough. The fire was burning out of control.

And so was I.

Part of me wanted to take my time to inspect, touch, caress, and pet every inch of him. Later, I promised myself—later. I could spend the night just like this, riding the red wave of roseblood until it burned out, then I could catch a riverboat out of the capital as early in the morning as I could. But while I was making bargains with myself, my hands slid down, over an abdomen as hard as cobblestones, until I reached the leather ties of his pants.

"You can't fuck her tonight." Creed appeared beside us, his eyes glowing as they drilled into Arik's. "Not like this. Her first time shouldn't be on roseblood."

Arik let out an animal growl of frustration, then turned me around in his grip and presented my naked body to the other man.

"Kiss her, and I won't." The command in his voice was clear, but Creed took a step backwards. "Kiss this very beautiful girl on the mouth. Kiss her like you mean it and I won't shove my aching cock into the wet little cunt that's rubbing against my pants right now."

"I…" All the certainty seemed to go out of Creed then, but he didn't back any further away. No, instead he came forward and the scent of cypress pine and cut grass filled my nose. "You know what that will mean, Arik."

"I know." Arik's arms tightened around my chest, almost like a corset, but for far better reasons than fashion. His mouth dropped to my shoulder and placed a trail of kisses there before moving up my neck. The skin there was so sensitive that I couldn't help but squirm against him, which had him moaning into my neck. "Kiss her, Creed. Because, gods be damned, I'm this damn close to giving her everything she wants."

Creed moved in slowly, trailing long, sensitive fingers down my jaw and then across my cheeks, like he needed to touch me to see me clearly. When his callused thumb brushed against my bottom lip, my mouth opened and my tongue flicked out. I tasted salt and leather and something sweet, and I couldn't help it—my lips fastened around the tip and sucked it clean, as if operating on instinct. He jerked his hand away and replaced it with his mouth.

Gods…

It was due to my pitiful amount of experience that I knew why he kissed me like this; like I was his last breath and he was forced to draw me down or die. He kissed me like he was a man drowning and like I was the siren pulling him into the watery depths. Creed's kisses were brutal and unpractised, all teeth and tongue. And my inexperience saw its echo in his.

Creed had never kissed a woman before. I was his first.