Chapter 20

"So talk," I said, flopping back against the upholstery when we readied ourselves to leave. Arik sat down on the opposite side, looking too big, too golden, too damn bright for such a space. His thick thighs splayed wide, taking up even more space, but he stared out the window, waiting for us to get on the move before speaking.

"You can fuck Silas if you like."

"What?"

"Drive the knife he gifted you into his thigh when you do it and he'll love you forever. Be sure to avoid the major veins, so he doesn't bleed out; but if you manage to do that without blanching, he'll be your eternal slave."

"You can't be—"

"Serious?" He moved like lightning, grabbing my hand and holding up my fingers for inspection. The rust red marks there betrayed me. "Deadly serious. I'm not here to warn you off sticking your hands down the pants of my men. Wank them all off, one by one, when we're finished for the day. It'll do wonders for morale."

"Wank…" The crude meaning of the word came to me, then I pulled my hands from his grip.

"What I need to make clear to you, Your Majesty…" If you'd told me the title was a terrible curse word in Kheanian, now was when I'd believe you. "…is that it doesn't matter what you do. Fuck Silas. Give Creed a pat on his cheek and he'll follow you around like a lost puppy. Keep making Roan feel like a big man, then petting him like a kitten. They'll love every minute of it." His eyes flicked up and down as he regarded me. "Gods, they might even come to love you. But what none of you seem to realise is that it won't make a difference."

"Won't make a difference to what?" I snapped. I was being backed into a corner, right as I was trying to fight my way free.

"Your fate. If you rutted with every peasant from here to the capital of Khean, the king would still drag you into the grand nave and throw you down before the altar. He wouldn't care that other men's seed slid down the inside of your thighs, and it certainly wouldn't stop him marrying you." Arik leaned forward suddenly, and I flinched. "I know you were prepared for a gentle marriage, one where a well-bred man would take a virgin wife and treat her with the respect her station demands, but that future changed the moment the king set his cap for you."

Arik was desperately trying to convey a message but, to be frank, I didn't want to hear it. I knew the situation was dire. My mother and grandmother had gifted me not with a trousseau, but with the tools of an assassin and instructed me to kill a man. Not just any man, but a king the gods themselves had ordained should take the throne. I didn't need convincing of how terrible the situation was, but what he couldn't seem to understand was that I refused to go quietly. Arik nodded then, his expression grim.

"You think you know what awaits you in Khean, but you don't. Outlanders never do. You've heard the stories and you think you're well informed, but you're not."

"Is that what you intend to do now?" I asked, arching an eyebrow as I crossed my legs, my ankle swaying back and forth with the carriage. "Teach me about the realities of your homeland?"

I saw something flash in his eyes, storm clouds in all that blue, but he shook his head sharply.

"Just that whatever you're planning in that little head of yours won't work." The storm clouds cleared away, leaving the flat grey you saw in the aftermath of a storm. "It never does. I've been tasked to bring six other women to be the Kheanian queen and each one responded to that reality differently. Everything they tried came to nothing. It never does. So do as you like. I've got enough roseblood in my saddlebags to leave you delirious with need if that's how you want to spend your time, and my men will rise to serve you over and over."

To my shame, I knew exactly how that would go, and my cheeks flushed bright red as I remembered doing just that.

"Just don't damn them when you meet the king, that's all I ask. If he even bothers to ask, you can…" His smile was savage, but I had no idea where that anger came from. "You can tell him I was the one who despoiled his newest dolly, if it comes to that."

I was about to tell him where to shove his very kind offer when he rapped his knuckles on the roof of the carriage. As soon as it slowed sufficiently, he was out the door, leaping to the ground and slamming the door shut. With shaking hands, I slid the bolt closed, barring any other visitors from entering because I needed to think.

I could not allow myself to be infected by Arik's fatalism. It was all right for him to accept a fate he'd never be subjected to, but I… I could not. He'd given me some crucial information in the conversation, though. Silas wanted to be hurt to experience sexual satisfaction, in particular with a knife, and Roan wanted to be petted like a cat and have his ego stroked. So did most men. And Creed… A few kind words and he'd follow me like a puppy? From what I knew of the Kheanian beast men, there was only one woman who could command that kind of loyalty.

His fated mate.

I winced at the idea fomenting in my mind. I'd never considered using key elements of a person's nature against them, but I had no other options, so I shoved the guilt to one side. None of the men were so terrible that I wanted to hurt them, but if it came down to them or me, I was resolved. I would choose me every time. No one else would, not my father, nor even my own mother. My nails raked idly back and forth across the upholstery, snagging on the fine threads, as I considered what I needed to do.

Distract the men tonight and set them all off balance, then, while their heads were still spinning, I'd find others I could pay to be loyal who would get me beyond the borders of Stormare, beyond Khean, and beyond the known world. As far as it took to escape the long fingers of men who cared little for my happiness, my existence, anything.

I tore my hands away from the seat and began to unbutton the neckline of my dress, revealing first my collarbones, then my décolletage. I paused when I got to my breasts, then undid a few buttons there, too, until the very tops were bared. As the carriage continued to rock back and forth, I flicked the small latch hidden at the side of the diamond-encrusted setting of the pearl ring my mother had gifted me as I'd left the castle. Known as a poison ring, this type of jewellery had become wildly popular with the young noblewomen of Stormare, though they seemed only to use them as a place to keep a little extra sugar to add to their coffee. It was more the idea of wearing something that had the potential to be an aid to something illicit that had all the young married women twittering in excitement.

Well, I wasn't about to pack my ring with sugar.

I opened the small wooden box my mother had given me and carefully added some of the powerful blend of roseblood to the small internal space that would be hidden once the ring was closed. Once I had tamped it down, I flipped the pearl in its diamond setting back over and clicked the latch into place. I returned the box to my bag and made sure there was no hint of roseblood to be seen, it didn't seem long before the carriage slowed to an easier pace. For a few short minutes, the motion of the carriage was gentler, telling me we must have left the rutted road behind to travel on a smoother surface. Next thing, the horses were being pulled up and, above some general hubbub, I could hear Creed calling for an ostler to take the team.

Arik rolled his eyes when he saw me step out of the carriage at the inn, but his gaze, along with that of all the other men, followed me as I smiled at Creed and took the arm he offered. Silas rode up as we were walking toward the entrance. Sweat had turned his hair lank and stringy, but he sat tall in the saddle, gazing down at the two of us with a look I couldn't decipher. Creed opened the door for me to precede him into the taproom, then followed me in, with Arik and Roan coming behind. As I glanced about the space, a kindly looking older man with a white beard stepped out from the bar, wiping his hands on a tea towel.

"And how many I be of service, sirs?" he asked.

I drew in a breath, ready to ask for a drink, but Arik thrust himself forward, gaining the innkeeper's attention.

"We're here on the king's business." He shoved a small leather bag of coins into the man's chest, his eyebrows shooting up when he felt the weight of it. "A room…" Arik threw me a glance. "Two rooms for the night."

"And a bath, if you would, kind sir," I asked, in a much gentler tone, taking a coin from my own pocket and pressing it into the man's palm.

"Of course, milady," he said, sketching a quick bow. "I'll have my boy start heating up the coppers right this minute. But, while you wait for the water to warm, perhaps a drink?"

"Gods' balls, yes…" Silas growled, and I turned to see that he was heading in our direction, his eyes on the bar.

His trajectory would take him right past me, so I made my move. My nails flicked out, finding the cut in his pants as he passed, and I raked them across the scratch there. Silas stiffened, his next step aborted, but before anyone else could notice, I brought my hands back in front of me and clasped them neatly. Silas went rigid, then squared his shoulders and turned to me, staring openly.

"Of course, good sirs," the innkeeper said. "I think you'll find our humble cellars are well stocked. A nice, Lanzenian vintage from several years ago, perhaps?"

"I hope you know what you're doing, Trouble." I turned to find Roan watching me. He crossed his impressive arms over his chest as his lips curved into a smirk. "That's a dangerous game you're playing."

"Well, you'll be there to protect me if I don't, won't you?" I peered up at him from beneath my lashes and he burst out laughing before snaking an arm around my shoulders and steering me towards the bar, where the innkeeper was already pouring out glasses of wine. I rubbed my hand up and down his thick forearm. "I find it hard to believe there is any foe I would face that you would not be able to bring down."

"Gods help me, but I will," he said with a sigh, then looked down at me. "Though if you could avoid pitting me against the men I consider brothers, I'd appreciate it."

"Why would I pit you against each other?" I asked, my eyelashes fluttering. "You work so well together when you've a mind to."

His low groan and the way he tucked me in closer to his body made clear that he understood my meaning.

"My mother always said I'd be led, skipping, down the road to hell by a woman. Just didn't expect her to be a diminutive princess."

And that was the thing. People around me had always dismissed me due to my gender, my size, and my rank, and all of that had served to undermine my self-belief. However, the very things they thought made me weak seemed like strengths from where I was standing, because they'd never see me coming, in much the same way as the battle tactics Silas had tried to instil in me.