Chapter 11

"And what do you expect me to do in Khean?" I asked, my voice high and warbling like a songbird. "What am I to do with that?" I gestured to the bag my grandmother held, but pulled my hand away when she offered it to me.

"The king has a younger half-brother," I was told. "He was referred to us by other… interested parties. The prince is agreeable to an assassination plan." They both smiled tightly then. "Of course he is. There are no other potential heirs left alive, as King Magnus has killed them all off. But the fact that this boy has survived…" Grandmother nodded sharply. "Yes, this bodes well."

"Bodes… Killed…" I tried to drag air into lungs that felt utterly flat in my body, my hands going to my hips as I started to pace back and forth.

"I'm sorry, Jessalyn," Mother said in a soft voice, approaching me with open hands. "We had hoped Stormare would be overlooked, due to its size."

"I was sure Magnus would call for another girl from Gravennia," Grandmother said, shaking her head.

"And she would've been prepared to perform the duties of an assassin in my stead?"

I was on the edge of hysteria—my tone made that obvious—but I could not seem to keep the feeling down. It bubbled up inside of me, each terrible thought popping, only to be replaced by another and another.

"All of the noble-born girls in that country had begun their training," Grandmother said, her eyes narrowing as she stared at me, like she had somehow found me lacking. "But Magnus, the canny bastard, has to have anticipated there would be a response."

"So my husband-to-be will know I'm trying to kill him?"

My voice was so shrill it cut through the relative peace of the temple, echoing off the stone walls with their carefully painted murals.

"We've told you often that Khean is a viper's pit, Jessalyn," Grandmother said, "and what do vipers do?"

"They bite," Mother answered for me when I failed to respond. "But you needn't walk into this cesspool unprepared. There are instructions in the bag, everything you need to know. You must read it on the way to Khean, memorise every word, and then burn all traces of the plot before you reach the capital walls."

"And my escort…?" I asked dully, my horror having been replaced by something cold and hard. Although roseblood had made me burn so brightly last night, it felt like all the light inside me was now dimmed. "What if they discover my reading material?"

"As we said, you must make them somehow complicit in your crime," Mother said, but my grandmother smiled slowly as she stepped closer.

"The advice would've been the same, no matter who you were sent to marry. Going to your bridal bed untouched benefits no one. Virginity is an encumbrance." I let out a gasp at that. "One best got rid of as quickly as possible."

I gaped openly now, unable to believe what she was saying.

"But my wedding night… The sheets…"

"There are ways around—" Mother said.

"All of that is in the instructions as well," Grandmother said, her eyes gleaming. "We've seen your escort and so have most of the women in the castle. They're handsome devils, every single one of them. Decide on which one you like best and divest yourself of your virginity at your earliest possible convenience."

"You should make him aware of the honour you give him," Mother said. "Tie him to you that way."

"Yes, yes, there's nothing men like more than a blushing virgin overcome with passions only he can stir," Grandmother responded, tapping her bottom lip, then turning back to me. "But don't let yourself be constrained to sleeping with just him. Take them all to bed if they're pleasant enough."

"The king's own men…?!"

"A woman needs allies, protectors, wherever she goes," Mother said, taking my hands, and for the first time this morning, I felt like I was talking to the woman who'd raised me. "Men form bonds of loyalty based on fellowship, on friendship or because it's beneficial. Women—"

"Must use the one thing they need most from us." My grandmother's eyes slid down my body, pointedly looking at my rumpled state and making clear she knew exactly how I'd become so dishevelled. "They deny themselves the pleasures of sex between two men, so they're forced to come panting around our skirts to assuage their needs. Seduce each and every one of your guards, Jessalyn, because if you are to do this, you will need men who are loyal only to you."

"Strong men." Mother squeezed my hands. "Champions who will fight to the death for your honour. It's what Sir Jerod has done for me in the past." I remembered the duels the knight had fought on the jousting grounds, simply for the honour of claiming Mother's favour. But I was pulled back to the here and now when she lifted her hand to place it against my cheek and I felt it tremble. She looked deep into my eyes. "You are beautiful, my daughter, and accomplished and smart—so very smart. You'll be the one to bring this bastard down."

"This is the way of women." My grandmother's hands wrapped so tightly around her cane her swollen knuckles turned white. "We are denied all legitimate avenues of power, so we must use whatever illegitimate ones we can discover in order to ensure our own safety. This is a heavy duty we place upon you, Jessalyn, but if you succeed…"

"You will become Queen of Khean in truth," Mother said, a radiant smile on her face. "You'll live a long and fruitful life."

But not happy, that was what she left off. Not happy. I'd still be stuck in the viper's pit they spoke of, but I'd be the queen viper instead of a dead one.

"And if I refuse?" My voice broke on the words. I turned to look at the doorway, pulling away from Mother's hands as I took a half-step toward it. "If I leave? If I go down to the riverboats and—"

"We told your father you needed to perform a vigil at the Temple of the Women to prepare yourself for this honour," Mother said flatly. "He has sent men down to the waterfront, to the markets, all over the capital, to ‘guarantee your safety.' After he had word that you'd run from the throne room, he realised that there was a risk you'd flee and he took the necessary precautions to ensure a war doesn't break out between Khean and Stormare." I looked back at her to see her lips thin. "You're going, Daughter, one way or the other. The way we are proposing at least ensures your survival."

I nodded, slowly at first, then much faster as my mind began to race. I was like a rat in a maze, ready to do anything to get out, but unable to do so in such a confined space. My hands formed fists as tears filled my eyes though they didn't fall.

Last night had passed in a strange kind of haze. I'd felt hope and wonder, desire and need, and then something truly magical: I'd felt free. Free to do as I willed. Free to take my pleasures where I found them. I wanted to put my hands around that flickering flame of liberty, sheltering it from the storms of reality.

I did not know the finer details of the plan my mother and grandmother had concocted, but I was resolute that I would twist it, change it, and do whatever it took to experience that feeling again. Freedom.

"If I do this," I said, and they both took in a breath of relief, "I have one proviso."

"Name it," my grandmother said in the hard tones of an experienced negotiator.

"I don't want to be queen of… anywhere. If I succeed in killing the King of Khean, I want to be free to choose my own fate." I shook my head. "As free as a woman can be in this world."

My words affected my grandmother in a way I didn't expect. Her face lit up with a smile that was genuine, unrehearsed. She gazed upon me with real pride, then walked forward, handing the walking stick to my mother so she could lift both hands to my arms.

"If you manage to pull off this plan, then I think you'll find many doors open for you, Granddaughter. Doors that have been closed to all other women." Grandmother squeezed my arms then stepped back to stand beside my mother.

For a moment I stood looking at them, feeling the weight of everything I'd encountered since yesterday morning—from the dramatics of the ceremony, and escaping the castle, to the passion and exertions of last night—and knowing that I would face even more challenges before the moon rose again. I straightened my shoulders and lifted my chin.

"Well, then, am I to ride out of Stormare in yesterday's underdress?" I asked, lifting my brows.

"Goodness, no," Mother said, starting to fuss. "We've time for you to bathe in the temple's sacred pools. I've sent for your travelling clothes and made sure your trousseau is packed. You'll have everything you need to be able to dress here."

My mother had organised new outfits for me? Of course, she had. Every special occasion needed a brand-new dress to mark it and commencing an assassination attempt was no different.

I soaked in the sacred pools for as long as I was allowed to, and the thermal springs helped ease some of my aches and pains. My mother and grandmother performed the roles of maid and dresser. They didn't cinch me into a corset, though, for which I was grateful. Instead, they gave me a pair of soft stays for support which I would be able to lace up myself. Then, once my underwear was in place, my grandmother handed me an unexpected accessory. I stared at the knife in its sheath, as though she'd procured a rabbit from the air before me.

"It straps around your thigh," she explained.

"I know how it's worn." My response was unforgivably rude, but the sight of my grandmother giving me a weapon had stripped all sense from me.

"Then show me how to put it on, Granddaughter," she said, her tone echoing mine, although when I looked up from the knife, I saw her lips twitch.

As I fastened the knife belt in place, my mother explained the features of my new travelling dress.

"There are buttons up either side." Mother demonstrated, pulling them open with ease. "If you've a need to get to your knife, you can do so without having to haul up your skirts."

"And… I'll need my knife, shall I?" I ran my fingers along the smooth bone handle, trying to imagine the action of reaching for it.

"Men always insist we go unarmed," Grandmother said. "And we should never allow them the opportunity to constrain us in that way. If you have any trouble with your guards, you now have the means to protect yourself, but…" She turned to my mother, who was looking through a travelling bag.

"This will ensure you do not have trouble with any of them." Mother pulled out a small wooden box and opened it. The scent that drifted through the air was rich, dark, and floral.

And familiar.

The roseblood I'd been given at the docks had been nowhere near as smooth in perfume as this, but it was distinctive enough for me to recognise.

"Roseblood!" I looked at her in confusion. "You want me to give the guards roseblood?"

"They use it as a condiment in the palace of Khean, so it will go undetected in their food," Mother explained. "But this…? This particular kind was procured from the deep southern kingdoms. The rosewoods grow wild there and the grove is protected by the women. It is potent in ways that no powder found here or in Khean can match." She offered the box to me, and I took it without thinking. "Roseblood is a powerful aphrodisiac. It can—"

"I know what it does, Mother."

Both my mother and my grandmother blinked at my sharp reply, then different versions of the same knowing smile crossed their lips. Not the response I was expecting.

"Then you know the effect it can have on a man. It will turn his blood to fire until you decide to douse the flames," Grandmother said. "That can be a powerful thing. But be careful, Jessalyn. Too many men think that if a woman inspires passion, it is her responsibility to put it out."

"And if she is not willing…"

For the first time in my life, I saw my mother's composure crack. The corners of her lips dipped down and her eyes filled with tears as she reached for me and pulled me close. I'd stopped receiving hugs from her when I'd read my first words, because apparently that marked the point where the girl ended and the princess started. Unsure of what to do in response to her emotions, I simply endured the embrace. It was over almost as soon as it began, and she patted my shoulder, dashing away her tears before smiling at me.

"You are strong, darling. Your father always said you would have made the most marvellous of sons, but your gender is no deterrent to you. Use your strength now, to protect yourself and other women who are not able to protect themselves."

Once I was dressed and Mother checked then rechecked that I had everything—and ensured that I knew where to find all the elements I would need for my endeavours—we were loaded into a carriage waiting at the foot of the temple steps. Once we arrived in the castle courtyard and had stepped down from the carriage, my father gestured for us to join him at the grand entrance to the palace.

"You've cut it a bit fine, haven't you?" he muttered at Mother as we reached him. "I appreciate that the girl needed to complete the appropriate religious observances, but we can't afford to irritate the king's envoy."

As if summoned by his words, four men rode into the courtyard, side by side, a horse and carriage at their back.

And when we all turned to look at them, I froze in place as an icy wave of recognition washed through me.

I'd heard the maids talk about how handsome the men from the Kheanian contingent were: how one had hair of gold, while another's hair was night-black; that one wore a massive sword, and the last had eyes like a beast, not a man. As the four of them rode closer, I stared openly, unable to look away, even when my father hissed at me to smile and ready myself to greet them. And the reason for that was because my escorts—the men I was supposed to seduce and make loyal to me alone—were no strangers. Arik sat tall in the saddle, a sardonic twist of a smile on his lips, Creed drove the carriage forward, as Roan, and Silas sat astride their horses beside him.