Chapter 9

Kael

The morning sun filtered through the gauzy curtains, casting soft beams across my face as I regained consciousness. For a brief moment, everything felt peaceful, serene even. But then, like a tidal wave crashing onto shore, nausea hit me hard. I bolted upright, clutching my stomach as I stumbled towards the en-suite bathroom. What was going on with me?

I barely made it to the toilet before emptying the contents of my stomach. My body shook as I retched again and again until there was nothing left. I was breathless after it was over. Tears streamed down my face as I slumped back against the cool tile wall, utterly spent.

In the harsh fluorescent light of the bathroom, I caught sight of myself in the mirror above the sink. Dark circles rimmed my bloodshot eyes, and my skin had taken on a sickly pallor. I looked like hell. With trembling hands, I splashed cold water on my face, trying to wash away the lingering taste of bile. Still, it wasn't enough.

Memories of the past few months flooded my mind unbidden. The nights spent working undercover for Mr. Novak, gathering intel on Mateo and the Nightshade Wolves. The constant fear of getting caught, of losing the man I'd grown to care for despite our complicated circumstances. And now this... Was I pregnant? I was beginning to think I was.

A fresh wave of sickness washed over me, and I gripped the edge of the sink tightly, willing myself not to vomit again. How could I possibly raise a child in this world? In a life filled with danger and deceit?

Lost in thought, I didn't hear Mateo enter the bathroom behind me. His strong arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me back against his firm chest."What's wrong, mi amor?"He murmured, pressing gentle kisses along my neck."Are you ill?"

I stiffened in his embrace, unsure how to respond. I didn't want to tell him what I was thinking and was suspicious about.

If I told him the truth, would he understand?

"I'm fine,"I lied, forcing a weak smile as I turned to face him."Just a bit tired."

Mateo studied me, his piercing green eyes searching mine for any hint of deception. After a long moment, he sighed heavily and released me from his hold."If you say so."There was an unmistakable note of disappointment in his voice, though, and I couldn't help but wonder if he already knew everything.

We dressed in silence, the weight of my thoughts hanging heavy between us. As we made our way downstairs to the dining room, I tried to push aside thoughts of the pregnancy test hidden upstairs. I hadn't used it yet. I'd bought it in secret as a precaution.

"Good morning, sir!"Javier greeted Mateo as we entered the opulent space. The lieutenant stood at attention beside the lavish buffet spread laid out on the table."And good morning to you too, Kael."

I nodded in acknowledgment, my stomach churning once more at the sight and smell of all the food. Javier must've noticed my discomfort because he shot me a concerned look before turning back to address Mateo. Even though he was worried about me, he had something more important to deal with.

"The men are preparing for today's shipment run, boss. Everything should go smoothly if the weather holds."

"That's excellent news,"Mateo replied, pouring himself a cup of coffee. He took a sip, grimacing at the bitter flavor."Any word from our contacts here in the city?"

Javier hesitated before responding."Nothing concrete yet, sir. But I'll let you know as soon as I receive confirmation."

As they continued discussing cartel business, I picked at my plate, pushing the food around without actually eating much. I just didn't feel like eating it. My appetite had vanished, replaced instead by a gnawing sense of unease.

After what felt like hours, the meeting finally adjourned, and Javier excused himself to attend to other matters. Left alone with Mateo, I braced myself for the inevitable confrontation. Given the way he was looking at me, I knew that he had a few questions for me, to say the least.

"You're not yourself today,"Mateo observed, reaching across the table to take my hand in his."Please talk to me, Kael. What's bothering you?"

I opened my mouth to offer some flimsy excuse, but no words came out. Instead, tears welled up in my eyes, spilling down my cheeks in silent streams. All the pent-up emotions I'd been holding back threatened to overwhelm me.

Seeing my distress, Mateo rose from his seat and pulled me into his arms, cradling me close as sobs wracked my body."Shh, it's okay,"he whispered, stroking my hair."You can tell me anything, mi amor. You know you can trust me."

His tender reassurance only made me cry harder. I knew he would hate me after I told him what I had been feeling every day.

I tried to pull away, wiping at my tear-stained cheeks with trembling hands."I-I'm sorry,"I stammered, avoiding his gaze."It's nothing... just stress from work."

But even as the lie fell from my lips, I could see the skepticism etched onto Mateo's handsome features. He was one of the smartest men I knew. Lying to him could only work for so long. He wasn't buying it.

"Kael..."His deep baritone washed over me, sending shivers down my spine."Don't do this. Don't shut me out again when I can clearly see there's something wrong."

I swallowed hard past the lump forming in my throat. How could I possibly explain the chaos swirling inside me? The fear, the uncertainty, the guilt-ridden secrets weighing heavily upon my shoulders?

"I... I need some time alone."I mumbled, trying to extract myself from his grasp."Just give me a little while..."

Mateo studied me for several long moments, searching my face for any hint of deception or insincerity. A few seconds later, he released me with a heavy sigh.

"If that's truly what you want."He murmured."But please remember that you can always tell me everything."

With those parting words, he pressed one last lingering kiss against my forehead before releasing me completely. Then he turned on his heel and strode towards the door, pausing briefly to glance back at me over his shoulder.

"I love you, Kael Morales."He declared."Never forget that."

And then he was gone, leaving me alone amidst the opulent splendor of his dining room. I slumped into the nearest chair, burying my burning face in my hands as fresh waves of anguish crashed over me.

How did I get myself into such a mess? I hated myself so much.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of restless activity. Unable to sit still, I wandered without a clear destination through the sprawling mansion, lost in thought. Everywhere I looked, reminders of Mateo seemed to stare back — photographs capturing candid moments of our blossoming relationship, expensive gifts bestowed during intimate evenings spent tangled beneath silk sheets...

By late afternoon, exhaustion caught up with me. Dragging myself upstairs, I collapsed facedown atop the plush mattress, barely registering the softness of the Egyptian cotton duvet enveloping me like a cocoon.

Sleep claimed me in a matter of minutes, dragging me down into a realm of fitful dreams haunted by images of Mateo's smiling face morphing into a snarling wolf-like creature. Claws slashed at my flesh as I ran screaming through shadow-drenched forests, branches clawing at my skin like skeletal fingers reaching hungrily for my blood...

I jolted awake with a strangled gasp, heart pounding against my ribcage. Disoriented, it took several seconds to realize where I was. Blinking, I glanced around the darkened bedroom, taking stock of my surroundings.

Moonlight filtered through gauzy curtains, casting eerie shadows across the walls. A digital clock glowed red numbers on the bedside table: 2:47 AM.

Sighing, I rolled out of bed and padded quietly to the en-suite bathroom. After relieving myself, I splashed cold water on my flushed face, staring at my haggard reflection in the mirror above the sink.

Dark circles rimmed my eyes, making me look years older than my nineteen years. My hair stuck up in wild tufts, as though I'd just woken from a nightmare (which I had). And yet, despite the weariness etched into every line of my body, something else shone through — a flicker of determination kindling deep within my chest.

No more running scared. It was time to face facts head-on.

Mind made up, I returned to the bedroom and rummaged through my overnight bag until I found what I sought — the pregnancy test kit purchased days earlier under cover of darkness at a seedy corner store miles from here.

Hands shaking, I tore open the packaging and followed the instructions printed on the box. Then I waited, watching anxiously as the tiny window slowly filled with color.

Two lines appeared almost at the same moment, confirming my worst fears. Pregnant. The word stared back, taunting me with its finality.

A choked sob escaped my throat as I crumpled to the floor, clutching the damning evidence to my chest. Tears streamed freely down my face, soaking into the plush carpet fibers below.

What would Mateo think once he learned the truth? Would he be angry? Betrayed? Or worse yet — would he try to take the baby from me somehow, using it as leverage to keep me tied forevermore to his dangerous world?

I couldn't let that happen. I refused to raise my child surrounded by violence and death, always looking over my shoulder in fear. They deserved better than that.

Decision made, I leaped forward and shoved the test kit into the bottom drawer of the dresser. Out of sight, out of mind. For now, anyway.

After I woke up again, it would be the start of a different day for me, but tonight I needed sleep if only to gather strength for the battles ahead. With a weary sigh, I crawled back into bed and pulled the covers up tight around my chin.

As I drifted off once more, I whispered fervent prayers to anyone listening:

Please watch over us both. Give me the courage to do what must be done. Help me protect this innocent life growing inside me no matter the cost. Let there be light at the end of all this darkness.

My last coherent thought before succumbing fully to oblivion was an image of Mateo's face hovering above mine, green eyes blazing with fierce intensity even as his lips curved tenderly upwards in a smile meant solely for me.

"Te amo,"I breathed softly into the empty room."Always..."

Dawn broke grey and gloomy outside the bedroom windows when next I opened my eyes. Rain pattered steadily against the glass panes, muffling all other sounds and noises. I lay motionless beneath the warm blankets, dreading the moment I'd have to leave their comforting embrace.

But eventually, necessity won out over procrastination. Throwing aside the covers, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and sat up with a shaky body, waiting for the inevitable wave of nausea to pass. When it didn't come, I allowed myself a small measure of relief.

Maybe today would be different. Maybe the morning sickness wouldn't be quite so bad.

Rising stiffly, I shuffled towards the bathroom intent on starting the day properly. Hot shower first, then coffee... and perhaps some dry toast if my stomach could handle it.

Twenty minutes later, clean and dressed in fresh clothes, I descended the grand staircase leading down to the main level of the house. Muted voices drifted from somewhere deeper within the sprawling mansion; likely Javier or one of the other lieutenants conferring with Mateo about business matters.

Ignoring them, I made a beeline straight for the kitchen instead. Coffee called my name like a siren song promising salvation from the fog still clinging to my brain.

I'd just poured steaming hot liquid into a mug when a familiar voice spoke behind me:

"You're up early."

I nearly dropped the ceramic cup in surprise, whirling around to find Mateo leaning against the doorframe. He looked freshly shaven and impeccably put together in tailored black pants paired with a crisp white button-down shirt left partially unbuttoned at the collar.

Our gazes locked and held for a long, charged moment. In those fleeting seconds, I saw a kaleidoscope of emotions flit rapidly across his handsome features — concern, confusion, frustration, and finally... some level of understanding.

He knew.

Somehow, even though I had been taking every precaution possible, he already knew everything.

"How?"I croaked out past the sudden lump forming in my throat."How did you-"

"I'm not blind."He cut me off, pushing away from the wall to stalk closer."Nor am I stupid. You've been acting strange recently. Distant, secretive..."His eyes narrowed dangerously."And then I found this hidden away upstairs."

Moving his hand, he produced the incriminating pregnancy test stick. It dangled accusingly between two fingers like a trophy of war.

"No!"I gasped, reaching for it. But he snatched it out of reach too quickly, holding it aloft beyond my grasp.

"Yes."He growled low in his throat, green eyes flashing with barely restrained fury."You're pregnant. And you were going to tell me what exactly?"

Shame burned hotly along my cheeks as realization dawned. Of course he would search my things after seeing me crying yesterday. He wasn't a fool.

"What does it look like?"I shot back, crossing my arms over my middle."I don't know how you expect me to feel about any of this!"

"Why are you lying to me again?"He snarled, slamming the test onto the countertop hard enough to make me jump."After everything we've shared, every promise made! How can you possibly doubt my love for you?"

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, blurring my vision. I blinked, refusing to let him see me break apart.

"It's not about your feelings!"I shouted, voice cracking."It's about our future! The kind of life we'll give this child!"

Mateo stared at me incredulously, jaw working as though chewing over my words carefully. Then slowly, deliberately, he reached out to take hold of my shoulders in a bruising grip.

"Do you really think I want anything less than the best for you? And now, for our baby too?"He demanded, shaking me slightly as punctuation."Do you think I haven't spent countless nights lying awake, worrying about giving you the best life possible?"

I gaped at him, stunned by the raw emotion etched upon his chiseled features. In that instant, I glimpsed the true depth of his turmoil — the inner conflict raging between duty and desire, responsibility and freedom...

With a shuddery exhale, he released me all of a sudden and turned away, dragging a hand roughly through his dark hair. When he faced me once more, his expression had shuttered into its usual impassive mask.

"We will discuss this further later."He stated, tone brooking no argument."For now, get ready. We need to go."

"Go where?"I asked, mind reeling from the sheer force of his presence.

"The doctor."He replied simply, as if it should've been obvious all along."I'm going to schedule an appointment."