Chapter 49

Knox

This was not how I planned for things to go, and yet as we pushed past my bedroom door, I couldn’t seem to regret it. I should’ve straightened up, picked up the towel laying on the floor, made the bed properly, but it didn’t seem to faze Millie at all. Instead, her eyes took on a dangerous gleam as she looked around.

“More grey. Colour me surprised.”

“I can… Fuck!”

I wanted to do this right, to take her out to dinner and make clear my intentions. It was terribly old fashioned, but I couldn’t help but feel like the tradition of men proving that they were good providers was a good one. I’d convince Millie to move in, let me look after her, and she’d… Cup my rock-hard dick through my jeans, forcing my hips to buck up and into her caress.

“No. No.”

My penis was about ready to revolt, jumping off my body and chasing Millie around, ever her loyal slave, but I knocked her hands away and pulled back.

“Ohh-kay.”

I didn’t like that flash of hurt in her eyes one bit, but she mastered herself quickly.

“Millie, I want to.” I sucked in a breath, feeling the ache in my balls. “Like really, really want to.”

“So unless you have a secret wife in the attic of this place, why wouldn’t we have sex?” she asked. “It’s not like you can get me more pregnant.”

“You're killing me here.” I leaned down and kissed her gently. “I’m trying to be a good guy.”

“You are a good guy.” Why did I need her to stare up at me and say that with complete conviction? Probably because no one would ever accuse my father of being in any way good. “You were really sweet at the store.”

“I was going for manly, providing for my woman,” I grumbled.

“Very manly. Very secure.”

She was joking, and yet I still felt a flush of pleasure at her words. I watched her lean back on the bed, resting on her elbows, and tried really hard not to notice the way her blouse pulled tight over her breasts.

And failed.

“So let me take you out for dinner. There’s an awesome fish and chips place by the beach. We could take Buster for a walk afterwards and we could… talk.”

That’s what people who wanted to take the next step did, right?

“We can talk.” She kicked off a heel, which seemed like the opposite to what needed to happen. I watched her foot move, unable to look away. That delicate arch found the front of my jeans, the ball pressing down really distractingly on my rigid shaft. I wasn’t really a feet guy, but I could be if she kept doing that. “We can talk a whole lot, but what I had in mind for my mouth…”

Fuck, she was rubbing me up and down, my whole focus narrowing down to that, but I picked her up and tossed her further up the bed.

“We rushed into things that night,” I said, the words spilling out because if she reached for me again, I wouldn’t have been able to say no. “It’s why you slunk out, then blocked Charlie. That fucking killed me.” Her eyes went wide, and I didn’t want to keep going, but I had to. “Then you turned up at work looking so damn perfect and I was forced to watch you walk right past me, close, but always out of reach. That night was crazy. You guys were drunk, but I wasn’t. I could’ve stopped things, done things right, and then you wouldn’t have been forced to block anyone’s number.” I shook my head. “We could’ve been talking this entire time, getting to know each other.”

Millie stared at me, a small frown forming, and my heart was beating way too fast. I thought I’d completely overwhelmed her, taking her to the baby boutique, but we’d gotten over that hurdle and she was all smiles. This couldn’t be the thing that derailed us, it couldn’t. I wanted her, wanted her underneath me, hot, wet, and willing, but not if she was going to slip free afterwards. I needed her in my life for good and so that’s what I said.

At first there was only an imperfect silence, the throb of my heart too damn loud in my ears. She shifted, sitting cross legged on my bed, the mood well and truly soured. I’d fucked up. Even I could see that. I’d come on too fast, too strong, and had rushed things again and?—

“I didn’t think you’d want to see me again.” I blinked, hearing her words, but not processing them. “You’re right, it was a crazy night. So much so I assumed it was just some kink the three of you were into and that was it. I blocked Charlie as a protective measure.” She smiled but there was nothing happy about it. “Reject him, reject you, before you could reject me. There was no future in my mind where that night could result in anything serious.” Her bitter laugh broke my heart. “It never does. I’m good for a good time, not a long time.”

“That’s not what I want,” I croaked out. “I mean, I want the last part. Shit, you know what I mean.”

“I think I do.” She looked me up and down warily, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never would. People made a lot of complaints about me, but being fickle was never one of them. “You’re the real fucking deal, aren’t you, Knox Ryan?”

I didn’t know what that meant, but she rose up on her knees and moved closer, her hands skimming over me in a series of tiny little touches, as if to convince herself of her own statement.

“Having sex doesn’t preclude or guarantee a relationship. Nothing does. I’m sorry I bolted. Honest to god, I thought I was doing you all a favour.” I sucked in a breath to make clear how wrong that statement was, but she pressed her fingers to my lips. “It’s not and I get that now, so we’ve made a commitment to see how this goes, to try and make it work.”

I nodded.

“So let’s do that. I think I’ve developed a caretaking kink. A guy who sweeps in and makes sure I have everything I need?” Her eyes met mine. “Yeah, that’s really fucking hot, so to finish off the night right, can I strip you down and marvel at just how hot your body is, then climb on top and ride you? Because I need to see if that dick really is as big as I remember. Then afterwards, you can tell me all your secrets, whisper them in my ear as the sun goes down, before we stuff your gorgeous dog into your car and go and grab dinner by the beach.”

“And you’ll come back here afterwards?”

I asked that way too gruffly, but my heart demanded an answer. None of that would work for me unless I could sleep next to her. I loved the bright wildfire pleasure of sex, but I needed the gentler burn of affection afterwards, otherwise I just felt burned out and lonely.

“Do you want cuddles?” She smirked as her hands slid up my sides. “Are you a big teddy bear under that grumpy facade?”

“I’m someone who needs a connection, Millie.” I felt her still, her smile fading. “You didn’t do me any favours sneaking out. You took the one thing I needed. I’m totally cool if you’re not ready?—”

“I’m ready.” She said, frowning slightly. “I think. I don’t have a lot of experience in this department, but hey, I’m on the steepest learning curve of my life. What’s another new thing to learn?” Her hands moved restively over my chest. “We can drop by my place, pick up my car and some clothes?—”

I silenced her this time. She had me at ‘ready.’ All the shit I was holding back came out in my kiss. Her mouth wasn’t opening fast enough, I couldn’t get the taste of her quickly enough to satisfy the need that throbbed inside me. Her clothes were definitely not coming off instantly, and I needed to rectify that right now.

“And you only got this half right. If you need to be looked after, you’re with the right guy.” I pushed her blouse aside after undoing the buttons, then eased her bra off. The look on her face as I pinched one nipple was everything I was looking for. “Pretty sure you need to come a few times before you take my cock.”

“Yeah, I think I can accommodate that.”

Her response came out as a moaned mumble as my lips moved down, tracing the sensitive slope of her neck, feeling her pulse race, before dropping lower. There was something savagely selfish in me that loved having Millie all to myself.

I was the one who made her squirm as I brushed my lips across her nipple. I made her sigh as I sucked it into her mouth. I rode the waves of her body, pulling away to go lower. I spread her thighs wide once I stripped her from the rest of her clothing, staring at all that pink wetness, before diving in. Her taste was on my tongue, salty and sweet, as I chased after more. When she got close, I pushed my fingers inside her, raking them over and over the sensitive spot within as her cries got louder. Her hands clamped down on my head as she murmured, “Just like that. Don’t change anything.”

I wouldn’t, frantically licking her through one orgasm, then the next, each one egged on by the other, until finally I pulled free. My hands went to my shirt, ready to pull it off, but she was there before me.

“Oh no, I need to be the one to strip the hot firefighter.”

There was no question of me saying no. Feeling her hands skate across my bare chest, then down to my belt, was everything I wanted. Probably because she stared at every inch of me with a possessive air that was a perfect match for my own. Mine, I could almost hear her saying it inside her head, because I was thinking the same thing. All mine.

Of course, I had to pull away to get my jeans off, but by the time I climbed back onto the bed, her hand wrapped around me. I was reciting fire station protocol backwards in my head to try to maintain control. It wasn’t just that her touch set me on fire, but that I’d been burning for her for far too long. Foreplay started weeks ago, and so I couldn’t tolerate much right now. I pulled away, kissed those swollen lips and then dragged her closer, one leg balancing on my shoulder. My eyes met hers as I gripped my cock and then lined it up.

Her eyes widened, almost in fear, but they quickly became heavy lidded with pleasure. I focussed on rubbing the head up and down her slit, collecting her wetness up to help ease my way. Then slowly, carefully, I pushed inside, sucking in a breath at the sudden rush of silken heat clasping tightly around me, the need to thrust hard riding me. I was the one in control, though, so I checked in with her.

“How we doing?”

“More…” she whimpered, her hands clamping down on her breasts and I caught the way her nipples got pinched between them. “I want more.”

And I’d always give it to her. Everything I had, including this. Slowly, in a torturous series of slow strokes, I eased myself deeper, my teeth locking tight at the feeling. She was taking every inch, and that required a response.

“Look at you.” I couldn’t do anything else because she looked so beautiful. “Taking every inch.” I withdrew slightly, but she clawed me back. “You’re making me feel so good.”

“If its half as good as I feel,” she croaked, “that’s pretty fucking amazing. Knox, I need you to move. I need you to?—”

“Fuck you.”

Sweetness and savagery, it’s what I loved about all women. They could be so gentle, then scream at you to rail them hard. Millie instead moved with me, her hips colliding with mine, our bodies crashing together. Faster and faster we went, the little twitches of her cunt around my length destroying me. My hand moved down, my thumb brushing her clit in time with our strokes until her hips bucked upwards, pressing it into my hand. Her breath came in a series of sharp little pants, right as I felt it.

She’d hug me this tight once we were done, I found out, but right now, all the cum in my balls was dragged out of me. Her cunt clamped down, then flexed, milking me hard. I sobbed out her name, wanting to say something, anything, poetry maybe, but I couldn’t get anything else as I unloaded. My vision started to go a little dark around the edges as the last of the shudders passed through me, but when I came back to myself, she was there, grinning.

“Damn…” I tried to hiss something out as she moved like a cat, stretching lazily. “That was amazing. A girl could get used to this.”

“She will get used to this.”

I couldn’t seem to pull free of her, instead clasping her to my chest as I lay down on the bed. Connection, always connection, that’s what ruled me, and right now I felt like I had it. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“Forever and ever?”

Millie was a confident woman who knew what she wanted and went for it, but there was something almost childlike in her joke. I think I knew how she felt. When we put aside all of our different selves: worker, friend, brother, sister, daughter, son, underneath that was someone who had been there since we were kids.

Someone who wanted to be loved.

My arms locked tightly around her.

“Forever and ever,” I told her. “Now, how do you like your fish and chips?”