Chapter 41

Charlie

God-fucking-dammit, when did Noah get that kind of game? I walked into work the next morning, seeing him ask Millie out in front of me, still kicking myself for not doing the same thing. We had conversations, smart conversations, about doctor’s appointments and testing and shit, but all I saw was a missed opportunity. We were talking about Millie as a mother, but Noah was seeing her as a woman first.

I’d gotten up early this morning, looked at the kinds of things that helped with nausea in pregnant women, and then picked up some crackers and ginger ale on the way to work, along with something sweet to help her get through the day, but when I reached her office, Knox was there too. He looked at me, I looked at him, taking in the steaming to-go cup in his hand as well as a bag sporting the label of a prominent chain of chemists.

“What’re you doing here?” he snapped.

“Team Millie, remember?” I shot back before hoisting my bag up. “Ginger ale, dry biscuits, and some chocolate for Millie.”

His lips twisted into a sardonic smile.

“Hot ginger tea, some ginger lollies to suck on during the day, as well as an anti-nausea wristband.” He jiggled his bag at me. “If she’s feeling sick?—”

“So you’re good to keep working on the uniform swap?” Judy and Millie walked down the hall, looking up when they saw us. “And to what do we owe this pleasure?”

Judy walked up, and suddenly I wanted to hide my bag. Millie had made it clear she didn’t want people to know about us or the baby yet.

“Just dropping by to see if the boss approved that petty cash order?” I lied smoothly.

“Petty cash order?” Judy frowned. “It hasn’t come past me yet.”

“Must be stuck on his desk then,” I said, hastily backing away. “Millie, got that stuff you were after.”

I intended to talk to her, see how she was feeling, then feel her out about a potential date, but instead, I thrust the bag her way.

“The stuff… Oh, yeah, thanks.” Millie took it without even looking at it, having me cursing Judy internally. “I’ll get you some money for that.”

The hell she would. I was no deadbeat dad. I made clear that any expenses she incurred should come to me, right before Noah and Knox said the same.

“Is that ginger tea?” Judy sniffed the air. “Did you grab that for me? That’s sweet, but I don’t have to drink it anymore now that I’m in the third trimester.” She wrinkled her nose. “Gives me reflux, bad.”

“Ah, no, that’s mine.” Millie plucked the cup from Knox’s grip and I watched her take a sip. “I was bitching to Knox the other day about this stomach bug and how it's hanging around, and he told me he’d make me some tea his mum showed him how to make.”

“Ohhh…” If Millie thought to throw Judy off the scent, she failed. Officer Hops smiled slowly as she looked from one to the other of them. “That so? You never made me any tea when I was yacking my guts out early in the pregnancy.”

“Knew it caused reflux,” came Knox’s short reply. “Didn’t want to make things worse.”

“Right, so did you guys want to grab your uniforms now?” Millie’s voice was perfectly even, but she shot us a meaningful look. “Less shirts for me to put away later.”

“Ye—”

“Sounds good.”

My jaw tightened as Knox cut me off again.

“OK, this way.” Millie turned on a heel, marching down the hallway, leaving us to hustle to keep pace with her. It wasn’t until we were well and truly out of earshot that she turned to hiss at us. “What was that? I thought we agreed to keep things on the downlow?”

“I agreed to looking after the mother of my child.” I settled against the door frame of the storeroom. “There’s dry crackers and ginger ale in there. Supposed to be the best thing for nausea in pregnancy.”

“These wrist bands are a new thing, but the chemist swears by them.” Knox rummaged around in his bag, thrusting the box her way. “And there’s some ginger lollies. She said if you suck on them all day, it can help.”

I watched Millie blink, then take a step back, wondering who the hell the guys were that she dated before. These were just small things, but she seemed completely overwhelmed by the gestures. I watched her blink, blink, then moved closer, not sure what she was feeling, when Gareth appeared at the doorway.

“Got any of those new shirts in 2XL, Millie?” he asked her.

“Sure do.” Her tone was chipper and she spun around, scanning the boxes before pulling several shirts free. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, love.” Men used that as a generic form of address for all women and girls, so there was nothing personal in it, but I was forced to shove my hand in my pockets, lest Gareth see them form into fists. It wasn’t hard to see it, Dave creeping forward, intent on doing god knows what to Millie. What the hell would’ve happened if she hadn’t got him square in the nuts? “So, Knoxy, you getting that report done today…?”

I pushed forward and into the room, away from Gareth and Knox as they talked shop. They weren’t what mattered.

“I included something else in there,” I told her, pitching my voice low, but somehow that just made this all the more exciting. I’d intended to ask Millie out today, but the prospect of getting caught? Yeah, I liked it a lot. “Something sweet. I wasn’t sure if you liked chocolate.”

“I love chocolate.” She breathed that out, her eyes flicking past my shoulder to the guys, then back again. “I’ve eaten my body weight in Tim Tams since I did the test.”

“Tim Tams, noted. Double coated ones?”

“Oh my god, they’re the best,” she moaned and that had me smiling.

“I’ll make sure to have a box of them for you tomorrow,” I said.

“We better get you your shirts otherwise Gareth’s going to wonder what you’re doing in here.” Her words came out in a rush. “What size are you?”

“Hard to say. Uniform sizing changes with each supplier. Think you’re going to have to measure me.”

“I’m not—” she whispered.

“Alright, send me the report over when you’re done,” Gareth said, then held his shirts up. “Thanks, Millie.”

We all let out a breath when he turned to walk away.

“Oh my god,” she hissed. “What part of keeping this quiet did you not get? Appearing at my office with gifts is not being discreet.”

“You’re the one who wants to hide things.”

For a moment I thought I said that, but nope, that was Knox. He stepped forward, an intent look in his eyes that I knew well. I was feeling the same, unable to stop myself from staring at Millie. Watching her walk around the station was pure torture after what had happened between us, but now I knew the truth? It felt like I could take a full breath, and I wanted her perfume in my nose when I did. Her lips parted and I followed that movement.

Noah had it right.

If her child was mine, I wanted to step up and be a good father, take a key role in making sure they grew up right, but it was more than that. Millie wasn’t showing at all, but the idea that there was something of mine inside her, growing? That satisfied a need I didn’t even know I had. I wanted her, wanted the child, wanted every damn thing she could give and more, and right now I needed to tell her that.

“Maybe we need to meet up again. Tonight maybe? Just to go over the rules. Wouldn’t want anyone catching on before you win the permanent position here.”

Then I’d be walking out of office parties carrying my girl, leading my child by the hand, going home to my wife…

Where the fuck had that thought come from? I blinked, waiting for the fear to rise with it, but it never came. I wasn’t afraid of commitment. Instead, I’d never really been given the chance. Being the class clown got the girl’s attention, but it didn’t keep it. Millie stared me down, eyes narrowing, as if she saw exactly what I was up to, her arms crossing her chest. I was a very good boy and didn’t stare at her tits, even though I really wanted to.

“OK, you can do that at my parents’ place.”

This was a test, I got that from the challenge in her eyes, but she didn’t know. What the hell were firefighters but blokes willing to look a disaster in the eye and be willing to run right into the face of it? I smiled slowly.

“Sounds good to me. Knox?”

His expression was a mirror of mine.

“Just tell me when and where.”

Once we’d cleared that hurdle, I wanted to get closer, move onto bigger and better things, but that’s not how it worked out. The shrill bell that blared over the PA system told us we had another job that needed attending to.

“To be continued.”

I darted forward, hoping Knox stepped in to block sight of us from the hallway. Millie sucked in a breath to tell me to stop, her breath coming out in a hiss as I placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. I’d see if I could steal more of them, deeper kisses, after work. Right now, I turned and walked down the hall, a smirk on my face, which was kind of unnerving for my teammates, I’m sure. Henry marched up to the printer and tore off the piece of paper, glancing at the details before handing it to Knox.

“Where the hell did you get to?” Noah asked under his breath as Knox turned to face us.

“Saw Millie,” I replied. “Apparently we’re due at her parents’ place tonight?”

He had questions, many questions, I was sure of it, but Knox broke in.

“Jesus, it's an industrial fire. Chemicals, industrial waste, the whole bloody thing.” He stared at us. “We’ll be coordinating with Gareth’s team. Time to suit up.”

We all moved with common purpose, heading towards the appliance bays. Industrial fires sucked, the conditions often unpredictable due to the presence of large amounts of flammable chemicals and business owners’ lax storage of them, but as I jerked on my gear, this didn’t diminish the way I was feeling at all. If anything, it made me more determined. Sort this fire out, get back to work, finish up the day and then wow Millie’s family.

All in a day’s work, right?