Chapter 21

Knox

One of the many reasons why I didn’t drink all that much at parties was because the next day I woke up feeling freaking amazing, unlike the other drunken sods. This morning was supposed to be one of the best. Millie was a freaking firecracker, stirring the minute one of us touched her, ready for another round.

Just like I was now.

I smiled to myself, rolling over and slinging my arm around the body next to me, but what I found wasn’t what I expected. My hand patted a muscular shoulder, big biceps, and unless Millie had gone through an incredible transformation overnight, I was hugging…

Charlie.

When my eyes opened I saw a sleepy-eyed Charlie looking at me.

“Please tell me that smile was for me.”

I gave him a shove in answer.

“Where’s Millie?”

“Not up my arse.” He rolled backwards and stretched slowly, which forced my eyes up to the ceiling. Charlie might like taking sneaky peeks at my dick, but I had no interest in checking out his. After his jaw cracked, he sat up and looked around, and that’s when I started to put two and two together. “And not in here either.”

“Wha…?”

Noah’s head jerked off the pillow, his face soft from sleep until he blinked and saw we were all moving.

“Not in the bathroom as well,” Charlie reported.

“Well, the towels are, so how about wrapping one around your waist?” I snapped as we both groaned at the prick re-appearing in the room in all his naked glory. There was no point dithering around to find my own, not when my jeans were on the floor. I yanked them on and then started looking myself.

No cute little high heels, no dress, not even the uniform we’d leant her. I tapped on the phone screens sitting on the bedside table, and unless Millie really liked photos of blokes holding fish they’d caught or dragons, they weren’t her phone. The part of my mind that came alive when we conducted an investigation of a fire kicked into gear, looking for clues.

I found only one under the bed. A tiny scrap of black lace, I knew who it belonged to and shoved it into my pocket the minute my hand closed over it before looking up.

“She’s gone.”

We all said the same thing at the same time, but with completely different emphasis. Mine was gritted out through clenched teeth. Noah looked like someone had just kicked his puppy before getting himself under control, and Charlie? There was a weird amused fatalism about him, as if he hadn’t expected anything less.

“Has she gone?” Noah’s voice wavered a little, but he shook his head and cleared his throat. “I mean, she might’ve gone to get something to eat or help clean up.”

He was clinging to hope, but I knew. What else would she do? We hadn’t wined her, dined her, though there was some sixty nine action at some point. There was nothing to indicate that we were interested in more. Everyone tumbled into bed at an alarming speed, so what else would she think this was but a one night stand? I rolled that last word around and around inside my head, hating it more and more as every second passed. Whatever the fuck this was, it was too damn good to be just a one night thing, but Millie had decided otherwise.

“Let’s find out,” Charlie said, pulling on some shorts finally and tapping on his phone.

For just a moment, I allowed myself a little hope. He had her number, maybe she was somewhere in the station. She might’ve slipped out to grab something she left in the conference room, and Brent would’ve caught sight of her, bailed her up talking about his model train hobby or something. Anything but this. Charlie sent a message and…

Got no response.

“Call her.” There was no uncertainty in Noah’s voice now. He was snapping out orders like we were on the job. “Charlie, call her, or I’ll?—”

“OK, settle down.” Charlie sat down on the bed, putting through a call.

Well, trying to. He blinked, frowned, and that made me feel better. I needed someone else to mimic my expression, share in the irritation.

Frustration.

How the fuck could she just sneak out of here after what happened, without even a goodbye? Why the hell would she walk away from something this good? How could?—?

“She blocked me.”

It was almost comical, the way Charlie stared at his phone, unable to believe his eyes. I guess pretty boy didn’t get rejected all that often. Some of us were much more familiar with the feeling, and that had me pulling on my shirt, then my shoes.

“Why the hell did she block me?” he asked. I shook my head slowly, not wanting to answer Charlie, but he pushed for one anyway. “What the hell did you guys do?”

“Fucked her.” That wasn’t what it felt like, some shitty fumble in the dark. Using a woman as a hole to jerk off into was never my style, but then again, neither was casual sex. The word felt like a fucking oxymoron, combining something intensely personal with another thing that was not, and I hated it. When I looked over, the other two were frowning at my harsh words. “It was just a one night thing. We’ve… you’ve been given the brush off. Thanks for all the multiple orgasms, but your services are no longer required.” I snatched my keys and phone off the bedside table. “Now, if you fucks want a ride home?—”

“I’ll ring her,” Noah said. I snorted and shook my head. “What? I will. Charlie, gimme her number.”

“I’m sure you will.” I let out a sigh that felt like it came from the depths of my soul. “I hope she answers. Maybe it’ll work out for you, mate. I dunno.”

But not for me. Never for me. Dating apps sucked, I hated badge bunnies, and we didn’t exactly meet a lot of women in our line of work, except when they were shattered survivors of a disaster. There’s someone out there for everyone, my nan always insisted.

So where was she?

Admittedly, the chances of forming a long-lasting relationship with a woman who I banged on the first date with two of my friends was unlikely, but… Hadn’t Millie felt a connection? I was sure it was more than just bumping uglies. I’d been wrong about things more times than I could count, and apparently this was just one of them.

“So, anyone need a lift?”

“I’m gonna try and give Millie a call,” Noah said. “She might be still at the station.” Charlie and I just stared him down. “What? She might be.”

“I’ll stick around and do the clean up, get back in the good books with Brent after that stuff up last week,” Charlie said.

“Well, I’ve got a day off today and I intend to enjoy it. See you tomorrow, fellas.”

So why did the car feel empty as I drove home? Why did a strange kind of gloom settle over me as I drove up my driveway? I had a big house and a big dog waiting for me as I walked inside.

“Hey, Buster.” My golden retriever came trotting over, tail wagging like a flag, his ears flat to his head. He, at least, was glad to see me. A few sniffs, a little whine and then he was walking over to his food bowl, making clear what he needed. I smiled as I pulled out the dog food, making up his meal. Dogs were easy. You always knew where you stood with them. “Eat up, mate.” I gave his head a pat. “I’ll take you down to the beach and we’ll throw a ball around.”

His muzzle jerked up from his food bowl at the mention of the word ball, hope flaring to life in his eyes.

At least he had something to look forward to. When I went into the bedroom to strip down, I caught a whiff of her scent. My nose ran along my arm, and I imagined I could summon a trace of that floral perfume. My shirt was tossed in the wash basket along with my undies, but as I went through my pockets, I realised where the smell was coming from. The temptation to shove my nose into that ball of black lace was overwhelming, which just pissed me off more. I didn’t want to sniff her panties, be a fucking creeper.

I just wanted her.

To get to know Millie, move beyond the idea of her, and find out who she really was. Remember how she liked her coffee made or whether she preferred tea. To listen to her giggle-snorts when watching a funny movie. To connect, bind myself, know that my person was out there, walking in the world, carrying the other half of my heart around with her.

But that wasn’t going to happen. I strode across the room and into my shower, slathering on the body wash and eradicating all traces of last night, all the while wishing that I was sending the ache inside me swirling down the plughole as well.