Chapter 33

THIRTY-THREE

MILES

" T ell me again…" My mind can't wrap around what's right before me. Usually, I'm not so obtuse.

Aella stops before me, where I'm sitting on the edge of my bed. Brax is seated in the chair in front of my desk, swiveling the chair back and forth. He releases an exasperated breath. I can't fucking blame him.

Aella crouches in front of me. "I think she's alive."

The entire sentence makes me feel like my world has just imploded, and the bits are raining down on me like acid rain. The pain is unexplainable.

"But…" I trail off, swallowing past the lump in my throat.

"Yeah," Brax pipes up, "she left us."

Aella turns on him, likely pinning him with a glare that tells him to shut his mouth because I'm in a state.

I usually pick up the bits and pieces of mess and glue them back together as best I can. I'm the fixer who steps in when anyone needs me, even strangers .

"Look at me," Aella says, and it feels like the world around me is still spinning, but my vision tunnels enough so I can lock in on her. "Take a breath."

I listen to her as her hands wrap around both of my wrists.

The day I saw Mom last plays through my mind like a sick fucking joke. It's the entire foundation of why we've done all we have. Getting her back is our core fucking mission.

"She can't be alive." It's all I can get out. My voice is unrecognizable as my own.

"Why?"

I try to break free of her hold enough to force her to back up and give me space. She stays firm, gripping me tightly, as if she knows better than I do what I need.

"Let me go," I grumble.

Brax stands, coming to her rescue. As if I'd ever fucking hurt her.

"No," she says. "Talk it through with me. Tell me what you're feeling."

I laugh because I can't do anything but laugh. So that I don't break. So I don't cry. "This is too much." My voice cracks.

"Hey, you're not alone. I'm here. Brax is here. We're right here. Tell me."

"We dedicated our entire lives to finding her. It feels like… Aella…" A sob breaks from my throat without my permission, and I hang my head to control my emotions.

"Why?" she whispers.

"Because, Aella!" I stand, breaking away from her. The papers fly around the room as I huff and throw the file on the wall. "She fucking left us! We spent our lives looking for her. Working towards burying her, and the entire time, she was alive! Living her best fucking life, collecting her paychecks?! Like, what the actual fuck?! Who am I without…" I trail off, punching my hand through the door.

The sound of wood splintering around my fist is the only sound before stillness permeates the space.

Neither Brax nor Aella say a word.

Suddenly, I feel her arms wrap around me from behind, her head following as she rests it on my back. This is a similar hold to the one I've had to give Braxton over the years. She's trying to hold me to the world as she's done for him. As I have. As Mom has.

Something about it breaks my fucking heart. That my world has gotten to this point.

"She left us, Aella," I tell her. Strangled sobs pull Braxton to my side. Even if he doesn't touch me, his presence is enough.

He's taking this better than I am. But he needs time to process anything that happens. Later, we'll deal with the aftermath once he finally lets himself feel it all. Once it all hits a fucking head.

"We don't know that, Miles," Aella whispers, her gentle touch sending shivers down my spine.

The ripples of her kiss move through me like an emotional Band-Aid.

"She's still getting checks," Brax adds, finally coming around to what's happening and needing her to rationalize this for him, too .

"Someone is. We don't know that it's her," Aella tells him, turning her face towards him.

Brax's hand reaches over, grabbing for mine. I let my forehead rest on the cold wood of the door before me, letting Aella hug me tight and Braxton's hand slip into mine.

"We're together. We can deal with this all together," Aella says.

"The things I've done in her fucking honor…"

Her scoff cuts my words off. "No. Don't you dare do that. You took care of the people in this town. You have helped them when they needed it most. You were their saving grace, as were the rest of the Cobras. Shit, you've saved some of them. You've done good in this world. Don't you dare diminish any of it because of this."

I straighten, turning and dropping Braxton's hand.

I let my back hit the door, looking between them.

Aella might look like the picture of a model on the front of a bougie magazine, but she's anything but. She's the toughest person I've ever fucking met.

"How are you so confident we'll be alright? How are you so fucking strong?"

She clears her throat as she eyes Brax before letting her eyes drift back to me. "I had to be. I didn't have anyone, Miles. You might have lost your mom, Miles, but you're so rich in other aspects. You have so much."

Thinking about my life with Braxton makes me realize she's right. She was in the limelight while being alone at the same time, which hardened her. Sure, Braxton and I are tough as nails, but we also have a massive support system she's never known .

The look shared between Brax as he reaches for her makes my heart palpate. There's love shimmering as bright as the fucking sun between them. It's in how she lights up when he touches her in comfort.

I fight a smile as I watch them for a moment.

In recent weeks, we've been so far off the mission it's not even funny. It's all because of one impulsive decision Brax made when he saw the fiery little minx standing before me, beating the shit out of her car.

"What?" Aella says when she sees me smirking.

"Nothing. It's just… I thought this was the first significant break in Mom's case in so long. We've been so distracted lately that we have made no headway…"

"And?" Braxton adds.

"All I can think about is how you look happy together. This thing between us has been part of why we all got out of focus, but…" I scrub the back of my neck, searching for the right words.

Every time I try to talk to either of them, it's as if I'm standing before them naked, confessing my innermost feelings. It's all new to me.

"I think maybe focus shifted where it should've been the entire time," Brax adds. "Being with Aella isn't a bad thing. I don't feel it is anyhow. I get you're all business, Miles, but we've been putting ourselves on the back burner for far too long. It's time to be fucking happy. Especially if we're right and Mom's out there living her fucking life unperturbed by what happened to her boys."

"Maybe I got too far off focus long before Aella," I grit out, and they both share a look before looking back at me with concern on their features .

"What do you mean?" Aella asks.

"Because she's been alive all this time, and no one found her. Not even Braxton! What if I was too focused on helping this godforsaken town so much that I missed something?"

Brax turns and walks toward my bathroom, growling something under his breath before putting his massive hands on his head.

His back muscles ripple through his shirt, and I lick my lips before returning to Aella.

"You can't do this to yourself. We can only go forward from here, right? So let's do that. We can't play the what-if game, Miles. We have to take what we've found and keep digging. You're going to drive yourself crazy!"

"I'm going… I need a minute," Braxton says.

I move out of the way of the door, and Aella captures Brax before he can escape the heaviness in the room.

I sit back on the bed, watching them as Aella asks him if he will be alright, and then kisses him deeply. It's a kiss telling Braxton what she wants to say but holding back. He gets the message and sends one right back.

I'm surprised when she closes my broken door and doesn't go with him. Coming over to the side of the bed, she slips sideways into my lap and wraps around me.

"I'm sorry all this is happening."

I bury my face in her hair and breathe her in. Her scent is like riding down the winding roads through the pines after a rainstorm. It's calming. Grounding .

"Get your shoes on," I tell her, patting her leg for her to stand.

"What?" She looks around in confusion. "Where are we going?"

"Come on, princess. Time's wasting."

"Miles!" she trails after me down the hallway. "We need to talk and figure this all out. Nothing is resolved."

"Fuck that. I'm done talking. I'm done wasting time on someone who didn't want me."

My words close Aella's mouth as she nears the door and slips into the boots I got her from the boutique. Moments from that day have kept me company since. The kiss in the truck. The moment in the dressing room. Her stilted breaths when I got near her. Her pulse when I gripped her throat in my hand.

A shiver of lust races through me.

Gravel crunches under my boots as I open bay three, where my bike is parked and covered. I rip the cover off, grab my helmet, and toss it to Aella.

She places it on the pool table, crossing her arms over her chest. "Your helmets don't fit me. It's unsafe."

I shrug, get on my ride, and kick the stand loose. The engine purrs to life, and I throttle it three times, the sound echoing through the clubhouse.

She shakes her head. "Come back inside. Let's talk!"

"Nope. I'm done talking. Come on, backpack, get on the bike. Let's ride! "

She fights a smirk. It's clear she's annoyed with me, but she moves closer and hops on behind me. Her arms wrap around my middle .

She leans up, her lips touching my ear. "Take me for a ride, then, Pres."

A shit-eating grin lifts my lips. "Hang on, princess!" I call over my shoulder as she settles in behind me, her arms tightening as she rests her chin on my shoulder.

I pull out of the bay, gravel flying. The misty morning is turning to afternoon, the crisp air of the day setting in. The leaves are changing, the air is growing colder, and the days are shorter. It's magical riding this time of year, but having her behind me is indescribable.

It's like the entire universe has finally aligned everything in my life for me to get to this very moment. Where I can show the woman that I'm sure I'm falling for what living truly is. What being free feels like.

Fuck everything going on.

Fuck life.

This is where we're both free from all of it.

Where the rubber meets the pavement.

I turn a corner wide, tilting the bike enough to curve with the white line to our right, and Aella giggles. It prompts me to speed up coming out of the curve, making her giggle into a full-on laugh.

A smile spreads across my face, and my chest blooms with a fullness I'm not used to.

Even if Mom's alive and I missed it, it got me here.

Everything I've been through leads me right fucking here.

H ere is living.