6. Chapter Six Abby

Chapter Six: Abby

I needed to get back.

I should have never left them, they needed my protection…but fuck, I had to find out if I was pregnant. And now I knew and everything felt even more dangerous than before.

After swearing Erika to secrecy again , taking a shower and changing my clothes, along with packing a small bag full of toiletries and other essentials, I decided that my best bet was to go back to the apartment. I texted Lily to let her know I was on my way and then it was back to business as usual.

Driving back was surprisingly quick, though traffic had picked back up to normal…like the world wasn’t holding its breath anymore. It gave me a good distraction from the baby, from Nathan…from everything.

I didn’t want time to think. I just wanted to get Nathan back.

I parked outside of the building he’d brought me to so long ago and grabbed the groceries from the passenger seat. The morning sun did little to warm the chill that clung to my bones as I made my way back to 118 California. Each step felt heavier than the last, a rhythmic thud against the pavement that echoed the pounding in my head. My jaw was clenched tight enough to cause an ache, a futile attempt to keep the turmoil inside from spilling out into the world.

And my side still hurt, though the painkillers were helping.

As I pushed open the door to the apartment, a thick silence enveloped me, the kind that presses in on your eardrums and makes your heart beat a little faster. It was the quiet of mourning, heavy and suffocating. Lily and Justin were huddled together on the couch, lost in a private sea of grief that seemed to flood the entire room. Their eyes—so like their mother's—lifted to mine, taking in the state of me: fresh clothes, hair still wet, and something indefinably shattered lurking in my gaze.

"Abby?" Justin murmured, his voice a thread of sound in the oppressive stillness. “You…is it raining?”

I shook my head, realizing I must look exceptionally weird given I’d said I was going to the grocery store. “Just stopped by a friend’s house to decompress. Ended up taking a shower after I um…cried a bit.”

Lily's eyes searched mine, her own pain momentarily set aside in the face of my disarray. She moved over, patting the couch with a hand that trembled ever so slightly.

"Sit," she said, and it wasn't a suggestion. It was an order born from that fierce protectiveness I'd come to associate with the Zhou siblings. Despite everything, they still had room for concern about someone else’s pain—their capacity for empathy never ceased to amaze me, especially since their father was such a monster. They took after their mother, then.

A mother I’d only just started getting to know…who I was mourning too.

I settled beside them, the couch dipping under my weight. The waist of my jeans scratched against the wound at my side—a fresh reminder of just how much one night could change everything. But here, surrounded by our shared loss, my own troubles seemed trivial. We were all adrift in this dark sea, clinging to whatever semblance of family we could find.

Without thinking, I buried my face in my hands.

"Is the wound okay? Do you need something? Why did you go to your friend’s house, who–?" Lily's barrage of questions hit me like rapid gunfire.

I held up a hand, pressing my fingers to my temple as if I could physically hold back the flood of anxiety threatening to spill over. "Lily," I started, my voice barely above a whisper, "I just needed to talk to someone." The words hovered in the air, each one heavy with implication.

Her brow furrowed, and she leaned in closer. "Why?" There was an edge to her voice, the protective instinct already bristling. “Why not us?”

Taking a deep breath, I let the bomb drop. "Because…I'm pregnant."

Silence descended like a thick fog, and for a moment, no one moved. It was Lily who broke the stillness, her eyes widening as she processed what I had just revealed. I watched her face transform through a myriad of emotions—shock, confusion, worry—all mingled together.

"Pregnant?" The word seemed foreign on her tongue, as if the concept was too much to grasp amidst the chaos that was our lives.

"Yeah." I nodded, the admission feeling both liberating and terrifying. I could see Lily's brain working overtime, the gears shifting as she took on this new role of protector—not just for her brothers now, but for me and the life growing inside me.

For her niece or nephew.

"Abby," she said, her tone firmer now, the initial shock giving way to decisive action. "We have to make sure the baby is okay, especially after…after everything at Justin’s place." She glanced over at Justin and Derek, seeking their silent agreement. “I mean–you got stabbed –”

"I know," I murmured, the reality sinking in. My hand drifted to my stomach, the notion of another life tethered to mine both grounding and daunting.

“You need an ultrasound.”

"I know, but…look, I’ll get an ultrasound," I agreed, though the thought of walking into a clinic, exposing myself and my unborn child to prying eyes, sent a shiver of unease down my spine. Kenny’s men could be anywhere; nowhere was safe.

Lily squeezed my hand, her own grief momentarily shelved in the face of this new challenge. "You don’t have to do it yet," she said. "Nothing is more important than making sure you and the baby are safe."

"Thanks, Lily," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. The concern in her eyes mirrored the storm of emotions I was trying to navigate. I grimaced as a sharp pain flashed through my side, a stark reminder of the recent violence that had almost cost me everything.

"Abby, you're hurt. You can't just ignore it," Justin chimed in, his brow wrinkled with worry. His eyes flickered to my side, and he looked like he wanted to say more but held back.

"Actually, about that…" I hesitated, recalling the contents of my purse. "I bought some more ibuprofen before coming here."

Lily's jaw tightened, her protective instincts kicking in full force. "You might not be able to take that now," she said gently, yet firmly. "With the pregnancy…"

“I already did…”

“It’s okay. There might just be some OTC meds you shouldn’t take right now. Nothing is going to happen ‘cause you took one pill, but be careful.”

"Right." The realization hit me like a cold wave. How could I have forgotten? My mind had been so preoccupied that I hadn’t considered the real-life implications of carrying a child.

"Let's focus on what you can do," Lily suggested, her voice softer now. "There are other ways to manage the pain. We'll figure it out together."

For a moment, I allowed myself to lean on her strength, to accept the support of this unlikely family. But the weight of my dual life pressed down on me, the burden of secrets heavy on my shoulders. I couldn't forget the role I played or the stakes involved. Nathan, the father of my child, was a man deeply entrenched in a world of shadows and silence—a world that could swallow us whole if we weren't careful.

"Okay," I agreed, nodding slowly. "One step at a time."

"Exactly," Lily said, squeezing my hand once more. Her touch was a lifeline, a small beacon of hope in the overwhelming darkness. It was easy to see how Nathan had become the man he was, with a sister like Lily by his side—even with a man as scary as Kenny as his father, the women in his life clearly had made him into someone who was capable of so much more.

As I sat there, surrounded by the quiet strength of Lily and Justin, I knew that the road ahead would be fraught with danger and difficult choices. But for now, I had a family—albeit an unconventional one—and I would do whatever it took to protect them, starting with the life I carried inside me.

“Ma would have loved a grandchild,” Justin said.

Fuck. His words made me feel sick.

I stood up from the worn couch, my muscles stiff from the emotional weight of the room. "I need water," I muttered.

I reached for a glass, the sound of running water a temporary solace from the storm brewing within me. Bao jumped up on the counter and watched the water flow, tail twitching. Glancing back at Lily and Justin, I couldn't help but feel detached, an outsider despite their acceptance.

"We have to tell Alex about Mom," I heard Lily's voice crack.

Justin, ever the rational one, nodded solemnly. "Yeah. It’s got to be one of us. He can’t find out from Knuckles. You or me. He'll take it better that way."

“Agreed, but how do we find him?” Lily said. “He needs to know…and he needs to know that Dad is after him.”

“He already knows that, Lily,” I called out from the kitchen.

“Right, okay…” she was saying something else, but I wasn’t listening.

I leaned against the counter, the cool surface grounding me as I filled my glass again. Their words became a distant murmur, my mind drifting to Alex—the brother with a chip on his shoulder. How would he react to losing their mother?

How were any of us going to get through this?

"Abby, you okay?" Justin's voice cut through my thoughts, his brow creased in concern.

"Fine," I lied, offering a tight smile. "Just thinking about how to approach Alex."

"Let us handle that," Lily said. "You've done enough."

I was definitely not going to do that, but I didn’t see the point of arguing with her right then.

“Okay,” I lied. “Well, I guess we just need to find him first.”