10. Chapter Ten Abby

Chapter Ten: Abby

I reached for a glass, the tap's cold rush a brief respite from the stifling heat of the kitchen. The afternoon sun slanted through the tinted windows, throwing long shadows over Derek, Lily, and Justin who sat like specters around the coffee tables. We'd almost skipped lunch, our stomachs unsettled at the prospect that Nathan was in danger…or maybe even dead.

He couldn’t be.

I would have felt it…right?

"Maybe we need a minute," Derek said. “I think I saw some games in the TV stand…”

“Seriously?” I asked. “I didn’t know Nathan kept games here.”

Lily's face brightened at the suggestion and she got up with more energy than I expected, racing over to the TV stand and digging through it for a couple minutes before emerging victorious with a deck of Uno cards. "Let's break this deck in," she chimed, flipping the box open with a flick of her wrist.

Justin started stacking empty plates, moving with that mechanical precision he got when his mind was elsewhere—probably on the fact that his mom was dead or that he wasn’t Kenny’s son. I wasn’t sure. I moved to help, picking up crumpled napkins and half-empty cups. It was easier than thinking about Nathan, who still didn’t know I was pregnant–unless my dad had somehow managed to speak to him. I hadn’t heard from him yet and it was driving me crazy.

“Speaking of breaks…maybe we should take a break from strategizing and freaking out?” Derek murmured. “I think it would be good for all of us.”

"Breaks are for quitters," I joked weakly, trying to match their mood, but my laughter didn't quite reach my eyes. Nathan was locked up in jail, probably fighting for his life, and here we were, about to indulge in a game meant for kids. But I was also looking after his siblings, and that would be exactly what he wanted me to do.

I was certain of it.

I sank into the plush sofa. My fingers blindly scavenged through the bowl of pretzels on the coffee table, each crunch a muffled echo in my ears.

As I watched Lily shuffle the Uno cards, laughter and banter began to fill the room–mostly over Bao, who had come over and was batting at Lily’s hands as she shuffled. But underneath it, an undercurrent of worry lingered. The decision I harbored was a heavy shadow, threatening to darken every corner of my mind.

Because while we agonized over Nathan, wondered if Alex was safe, tried to figure out how we would all survive…I was also deciding if I would keep my baby.

To keep the baby meant a life chained to this perpetual cycle of danger and distrust; to end it promised freedom, yet the sort that left one hauntingly hollow. I wanted to have a baby with Nathan. I really did. Maybe it was stupid…but it made perfect sense in my head.

But being pregnant right now just put a target on my back and made him more vulnerable.

I could go for a termination, pretend I had a miscarriage. Those happened all the time. It would be devastating…I was already horribly attached to this idea of a little human inside of me. But they couldn’t deal with more grief. If they lost Nathan because of me…if I lost Nathan because I hadn’t been careful…

I would never be able to forgive myself.

"Jack's gonna figure out what to do about Alex, right?" Justin’s voice suddenly pierced through my thoughts.

"Jack's got it under control," I assured him, though my voice barely concealed the tremors of my doubt. As far as I understood, Jack was many things—cunning, resourceful, deadly—but even he couldn't predict every outcome in this precarious world.

"Sure," Derek scoffed, throwing a card onto the pile with exaggerated flair. "‘Under control’ until it turns out that Jack is Alex’s brother too or something.”

“How would that work?” Lily asked. “Jack’s the whitest person I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Hey, I don’t know,” Derek replied. “Everything is insane right now. Like fucking crazy. I’m just leaning into it.”

Justin shot Derek a withering glance, and for a moment, I could see the weight of family loyalty straining against his affection for his boyfriend. "Derek…"

"Hey, how else am I supposed to deal with all this crap? Humor, babe. It's either that or cry," Derek shrugged, a wry smile tugging at his lips.

"Forgive him," Justin said, addressing Lily and me with a roll of his eyes. "He thinks he's funny."

Lily let out a laugh, the sound light and unburdened, while a ripple of amusement passed through the others. I forced a chuckle, though it felt like swallowing shards of glass. Derek’s joke had skirted too close to the edge of my deepest fears—they all knew the stakes, but humor was their shield against the darkness closing in. Of course he was just being absurd but…he was sort of hinting at what scared me about all this.

It was only going to get more intense. It was only going to get crazier.

Lily shook her head. “Anyway, draw two,” she said to Justin.

I sat there, my fingers absently fidgeting with the corner of an Uno card, my mind far from the game. The laughter and banter around me felt distant, like I was separated by an invisible barrier. My gaze lingered on the chair opposite mine–what would have been Nathan's chair. Empty now. His absence was like a void, sucking the warmth out of the room.

The thought that he might never come back, that his seat at this table would remain vacant, sent a chill through me despite the stuffiness of the room. I swallowed hard, pushing down the knot of fear rising in my throat.

"Abby, your turn," Lily said..

"Right," I murmured, barely glancing at my cards before playing one at random.

"Wild card. Green," I announced, my voice flat.

Justin raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on my lack of strategy. They all knew something was off with me, but under the circumstances, who could blame anyone for being distracted?

I shifted uncomfortably, the reality of my situation pressing down on me with an urgency I couldn't ignore. Here I was, sitting among the people who had become my unexpected allies, contemplating a decision that felt like betrayal.

The idea of ending my pregnancy was a desperate thought. Even when we had gotten rid of Tyler’s body, I had never felt quite as anxious as this…and I couldn’t help but wonder if this was another symptom of the pregnancy.

Justin paused as he looked at me. "You holding up okay? I mean physically. I know we’re all a mess, but you’ve got like…a little more going on than the rest of us.”

"Yeah," I lied, forcing a smile onto my face. "Just tired, you know?”

Guilt gnawed at me with every beat of my heart. They trusted me, believed in me, and yet here I was, contemplating a betrayal that would shatter them–

I froze just as Justin’s head snapped toward the door. “Did you hear that?” he whispered.

“Is there…”

There was no way. This building was empty, Nathan had it locked up tight. I could have sworn I heard voices, footsteps, the sound of the elevator. Maybe I was wrong.

But then—three sharp raps at the front door.

That…shouldn’t have been happening. No one knew this place existed–save for Nathan. I’d given the address to Jack so he could track us down if needed, but he was hours away in San Diego.

This was trouble.

Instinctively, my hand darted to my hip for the gun that wasn't there. My FBI-issued piece was stashed away, not meant for these eyes.

"Hide!" I hissed, lunging to my feet. An unexpected knock could spell disaster--and someone knocking here was really bad.

But before we could scatter, the unmistakable beep of the key code being entered echoed through the tense air. The door swung open.

“Alex?” Justin said, incredulous.

I had never actually met Nathan’s brother before; Nathan had me in captivity in the days before Alex ran off, and from then on I’d only seen pictures. It was strange…I felt so connected to this family, but I wasn’t even sure if Alex knew what I looked like.

That became even clearer when he strode in like he was the oldest Zhou sibling, flanked by Jack and two other men–and he looked at me like I was the stranger here. I recognized the other two men from the picture at Venom Custom Motors: Alex’s best friends, Neon Nelson and Javier Alvarez. They didn’t look nearly as gungho about this whole thing as Alex did…but they were here, and that’s what mattered.

“You could have answered the door,” Alex said, scowling at Lily. “We were worried you guys were dead or something.”

Lily, who had been perched on the edge of the couch, held up her winning Uno card with a smirk. "Great timing. Just as I was about to claim victory."

Alex smiled at her. “You mean ‘wow, I’m so glad to see that you’re alive’?”

"No, I mean 'Great timing. Just as I was about to claim victory,'" Lily rebutted. A ripple of laughter echoed around the room, softening the hard edges of what had been a tense situation. Then she added, "But yeah, glad to see you're not dead."

“For now. And also hi?” I said tentatively, getting up. “I thought you’d be in San Diego by now. Or like–ideally not even in the country.”

“And you are…?” Alex said, narrowing his eyes at me.

“This is Abby,” Justin cut in, stepping up beside me and gripping my shoulder. “Nathan’s fiancee and the girl who saved all our lives. Cut the attitude, Alex.”

I could tell there was tension between the siblings–fuck, of course there was. From what Nathan had told me, Alex had always been a bit of a loose cannon, reckless and putting others in danger. If anything, he was the one most likely to want to take on his father’s legacy.

It suddenly occurred to me that he might not be an asset here. He could be a liability…or even an enemy.

Jack should have kept him away from San Francisco.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, asserting myself before Alex could start to think he was the one in charge. “Jack, I thought we’d agreed it was best to go into hiding, ideally not all in the same place. If Kenny finds out Alex is here…”

“I'm here to help get Nathan back," Alex declared.

“Easy, tiger,” Jack cut in. “ We’re here to help get Nathan back. And sorry, Abby…I couldn’t stop him.”

“You’re an idiot, Alex,” Lily said. “We had this covered on our own.”

“Yeah, that’s what it looks like,” Alex said. “Because playing Uno is going to get Nathan out of prison.”

“Fuck off, Alex.”

“You fuck off, Lily.”

They glared at each other, and I wondered again if him being here was about to get us all killed…

But then Lily stood up and practically flew into her brother’s arms.

For a long moment, they just hugged, with Lily burying her face in Alex's chest and his arms wrapping around her protectively. The sight eased some of the tension that had coiled in my gut.

Alex then turned his gaze to me. It was cool, calculating, like he was assessing my worth for a mission. He neither liked nor trusted me, and I couldn't really blame him. After all, I was an FBI agent infiltrating his family's crime syndicate. Nathan must have told him that much.

But then his gaze softened, gentling around the edges. "I heard you're engaged," he said evenly. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," I replied, meeting his gaze steadily. The words felt alien on my tongue. Who would have thought that those simple words would hold so many complications?

"I suppose I should be calling you sister now?" Alex continued, an ironic twist to his lips.

The amusement was short-lived, replaced with a deep-seated worry that darkened his eyes. He turned away from me, refocusing on the task at hand and addressing the room at large.

Justin stood up, walking up to Alex as Lily let go of him. He exhaled heavily as Alex wrapped him in another hug. “I’m glad you’re okay,” Justin said. “I thought you’d be in San Diego hiding out.”

"Yeah, well, I couldn't leave you alone with all these lunatics," Alex replied.

“Yeah, he wouldn’t let me drive him back,” Jack said. “And Javi and Neon will just do whatever your brother wants. So…well, I was outnumbered.”

“Hey,” Neon—I thought that one was Neon, with brown skin and bleach blond curly hair that was now dark at the roots—said. “I just hate San Diego. It’s lame.”

"Try having your life threatened by a cartel. Makes it less lame, I assure you," Jack retorted, a hint of bitterness lacing his voice, but there was still a smile on his face. “Okay, well…I don’t mean to interrupt your game…but what are we going to do about Nathan?”

“What do you mean?” Alex said. “It seems obvious, doesn’t it?”

“Not really,” I muttered. “He’s locked up at San Mateo, one of the most high-security jails in the nation. It’s not exactly Disneyland.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“It kind of does,” Lily said. “Don’t be an idiot, Alex. What are you suggesting?”

“Well…for me, we only have one option,” he grinned. “We’re going to break him out.”