8. Chapter Eight Abby

Chapter Eight: Abby

A nd just like that, he was gone.

I was furious as soon as the door slammed behind him. I stormed upstairs, shedding the frustration with each angry step. In his room, because it sure as shit wasn't my room, I threw on black leggings and a white top—no sign of the blood-red anger still boiling beneath my skin. I checked myself in the mirror, assuring that every inch of me screamed ‘normalcy' despite the chaos Nathan left in his wake.

Back downstairs, the silence of the apartment was mocking, amplifying the ticking of the clock and my escalating irritation.

He could just storm out whenever he wanted and he just…what? Expected me to wait?

I grabbed my phone from the coffee table, checking for any messages that weren't there. My fingers found the necklace at my throat, the fucking collar, and I tugged at it,

"Damn you, Nathan," I muttered.

Enough waiting.

I punched in Erika's number, holding the phone against my ear. It rang once, twice, then her chipper voice filled the line.

"Abby! Hey, babe, what's up?"

"Hey, Erika. You free? I need some girl time."

"Of course! Let me just grab my keys, and I'll—"

"No, stay put. I'll come to you," I interrupted, already anticipating Nathan's reaction if he returned to find me gone. A twisted part of me relished the thought of provoking him again.

Erika giggled. "Ooh, mysterious! Okay, hit me up when you're close."

"Will do." I ended the call, tossing the phone onto the couch.

I wasn't sure what I hoped to achieve by leaving the house. Maybe it was a test—to see if Nathan would come after me or if he even noticed I was gone. But one way or another, I needed a distraction, and my roommate never failed to provide that.

As I stepped outside, my heart thrummed with a mix of fear and excitement. Nathan might be pissed that I was leaving, but the thrill of defiance felt like a shot of adrenaline.

"You're going to the Tenderloin?" the rideshare driver asked as I settled into the backseat, my destination already plugged into his app. "From here?"

"Yup, that's where I live. In the Tenderloin," I replied, barely glancing out the window as we left Nathan's territory behind. The city blurred past, gray and indifferent.

The driver whistled. "You must really like them if you're coming all the way here."

I laughed. "Maybe I just don't like the Tenderloin."

He laughed too. "Yeah, I don't find that hard to believe."

We made idle chit chat about the weather for a bit. Pulling up to the familiar gritty facade of my old building, I thanked the driver and stepped out onto the sidewalk, my pulse spiking at the thought of Nathan's potential wrath.

"Abby!" I heard Erika as soon as I entered the barely lit hallway. She rushed toward me, her red top vibrant against the drab surroundings. Her energy was infectious, and despite everything, a smile tugged at my lips.

"Hey, Erika," I greeted her, embracing her briefly. "Sorry it took me so long to swing by."

"Girl, I thought you got lost in sugar baby land or something." Her laughter echoed off the walls. "Speaking of which, how's life with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome? Does he have a brother? Is he Chinese? My parents would—wait. Why are you making that face?"

"Let's just say things aren't all peachy right now. You know, he's beautiful…but thorny."

"Like a rose, I get it! Because he owns a plant shop!"

I laughed. "Yeah, like that."

"Men that good-looking are never normal unless they're already married," she said. "Trust me. The best looking guy I was with was really into, like, ripping off my stockings with his mouth."

"That's kind of hot."

"Yeah, but like…I think he maybe wanted to actually eat them, too."

I blinked as we made our way to our apartment, trying to process that. "What?"

"He kept talking about how much he loved the taste of nylon. But he was six foot five, so you can imagine my dilemma."

I shook my head, chuckling despite myself. "Okay, you win. That's weirder than my thorny rose situation."

"What is your thorny rose situation?" Erika asked.

"More like...trust issues," I said, thinking of his dark eyes that seemed to see right through me sometimes…and, of course, the collar weighing me down, tracking me everywhere I went. "We're sort of fighting right now."

"Damn, that sucks." Erika unlocked the apartment door, ushering me into the cozy chaos of what used to be our shared living space. "But hey, you're here now. Girl time will fix you right up!"

I nodded, hoping that a day away from Nathan and the relentless grind of my undercover…well, whatever the fuck it was right now, would clear my head. Maybe Erika's straightforward, no- nonsense approach to life was exactly what I needed to figure out what came next.

"Spill it, Abby. What's got you all upset? What are you two fighting about?" Erika flopped down on the second-hand couch, patting the spot next to her. I hesitated, glancing at the closed door of my bedroom, where my FBI-issued laptop sat like a ticking time bomb.

"I'm still processing," I said finally, shaking my head. The thought of opening up about this morning's events sent a chill through me. It would only put her in more danger. And as far as everything else…she didn't need to know. "It's...complicated."

"Complicated, huh?" She narrowed her eyes playfully. "Well, complicated men are my specialty. Come on, let's get some coffee. Your treat for keeping secrets."

"Deal." Anything to avoid talking about the man who wouldn't see tomorrow because of us—because of Nathan and his world that I was now entangled in. A world where my allegiance was getting murky.

"Red Lantern?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No–what if we run into him?"

"Fair point…so how about Corner Brews?"

I grinned. "Sounds great."

We left the apartment and made our way to my car—a beat-up little thing that had seen better days. I hadn't driven it since before Nathan took me–a lifetime ago–but somehow it still coughed to life, and we headed towards a cafe that wasn't too far from our apartment.

The drive was short, filled with Erika's chatter about her latest fling and the antics of her coworkers. I tried to focus on her words rather than the gnawing guilt eating at me–not just over Tyler, over everything.

Definitely over Nathan.

Was there something wrong with me for feeling worse about hurting Nathan's feelings than dismembering and burying Tyler Matthews?

…also a definite yes.

"Here we are," I announced as I parked haphazardly beside the curb. The small coffee shop ahead was nothing special, but it was neutral territory, away from prying eyes and ears.

"Perfect," Erika said, hopping out. "Nothing like caffeine to sort out whatever mess you've gotten yourself into."

"Or bury it under a mountain of sugar and whipped cream," I added with a weak grin.

"Exactly!" She linked her arm with mine as we walked in, the bell above the door jingling our arrival.

"Two lattes, extra shots, and all the toppings you've got," Erika ordered, sliding onto a barstool with the ease of someone who'd done it a thousand times before.

"Coming right up," the barista said with a smile, and Erika blushed as he winked at her.

"He was cute," she whispered. "Like…definitely cute, right?"

I wasn't paying attention to the barista. I was only thinking about Nathan.

"Abby, earth to Abby!" Erika's voice snapped me back to reality.

"Sorry," I murmured, forcing myself to focus on the moment and the friend who knew nothing of the darkness that was closing in around me. "Just thinking about what to do for Nathan."

We retrieved our coffees after her name was called and sat down at the same table. I was half hoping that Erika had forgotten about my guy trouble when she cleared her throat and leaned forward, eyes wide and hungry for gossip. "So are you going to go into specifics or are you going to keep being cryptic about all this?" Erika leaned forward, her elbows on the table, her concern as clear as day. "Like…you two got in a fight, right?"

"I'm not trying to be cryptic. I'm just trying to untangle this myself," I said. "He's got trust issues, like I said."

"That's rough." She grimaced sympathetically. "But also…well, vague."

I couldn't exactly tell her that the reason he had trust issues was because I'd hidden that I was an FBI agent from him and that I intended to take down his entire operation, so I made up a story right then and there.

"But there's history there, you know? His ex did a number on him—lied about everything from her name to her past."

"Damn, that's cold." Erika's eyes widened. "No wonder the guy's got walls higher than Alcatraz."

I nodded, silently thankful she bought the story. It wasn't entirely false—Nathan's world was full of deceit and betrayal. She just didn't need to know I was part of it.

I was the ex…and the girlfriend…and maybe the not-so-undercover cop.

"Anyway," I tried to shift away from the topic, "I just need to figure out how to make things right."

"Wait, how is the ex thing your fault?" she asked, taking a sip of her drink. "I mean, the ex thing is really shitty, but how does that affect you?"

"Well, like I said, he's a complicated man. He freaked out over a little thing—" Finding out I was an FBI agent and then killing my handler — "But with his past, I'm trying to give him some grace."

"Aw, you're so sweet," she said. "So what are you going to do?"

"Maybe give him something he likes?" I ventured. "I mean, that seems like a good start."

"Knowing what he likes is absolutely a good start," Erika suggested, always the practical one.

"Plants," I said, the word slipping out before I could catch it. It was the truth, at least—one small, honest piece amidst the tangle of deceptions.

"Really?" Erika's brows rose, a smile tugging at her lips. "Wait, that makes sense. He really did bring my orchid back from the brink of death."

"Yeah." I managed a weak chuckle, feeling the weight of guilt tug at my conscience. "He just...he has this way with them. Like he understands them better than people."

"Then there's your answer, Abby." She leaned forward, her eyes earnest. "Find a way to show him you get that part of him—the part that finds solace in something as simple and beautiful as growing life. It doesn't have to be grand, just genuine. And there's this super cute nursery we can head over to that's just down the street, so maybe that after coffee?"

I nodded, absorbing her words. Genuine—another thing that was in short supply these days. But she was right; if there was any hope of salvaging the fragile connection between Nathan and me, it wouldn't come from grand gestures but from the small, truthful moments.

I had to do something. I had to try.

"Thanks, Erika," I said, meaning it more than she could know. "You always seem to know the right thing to say."

She shrugged modestly but her smile was pleased. "Just calling it as I see it. And what I see is someone who's head over heels for a guy with a green thumb. Go figure."

"That might be a bit much. I haven't known him for that long," I deflected, but the warmth in my chest suggested otherwise.

"I'm a big believer of when you know you know," she said, flashing me a grin as I took a sip of my coffee. "Do you know?"

I raised my eyebrows. "I…"

She waved me off. "You know what, you don't have to tell me. You don't have to because I can tell."

The bell above the café door jingled, signaling new customers and breaking the moment.

"If I buy you another coffee will you stop talking about this?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. "But let me keep that in my pocket for later."

"Alright, let's hit that nursery you mentioned," I said as we gathered our things.

"Great! It's just a short walk from here," Erika replied, her enthusiasm genuine and infectious. We stepped out onto the sidewalk, the crisp autumn air carrying the faint scent of smoke and fallen leaves. San Francisco's Tenderloin wasn't known for its idyllic charm, but there was something about the raw vibrancy of the city that always got under your skin.

We walked side by side, occasionally brushing shoulders—a simple touch that felt oddly comforting. The plant nursery Erika had mentioned was nestled between a tired-looking bookshop and a laundromat with flickering neon signs. As we entered, a chime announced our arrival, and we were immediately enveloped in an oasis of greenery that seemed worlds away from the gritty streets outside.

"Wow," I murmured, taking in the lush ferns and vibrant flowers that filled the space. It was like walking into a living painting, rivaled only by the jungle of Nathan's home.

Nathan really would have loved it here.

"Isn't it adorable?" Erika exclaimed, her eyes twinkling as she gently touched the petals of a nearby dahlia. "Nathan will love whatever you choose."

I nodded, though my knowledge of plants was embarrassingly scarce. Dad taught me how to handle a gun, not garden. I trailed behind Erika, feigning interest in the botanical names I couldn't pronounce, while covertly scanning the place for anything out of the ordinary. Old habits died hard, and even on a seemingly innocent trip like this, I couldn't fully shake off the agent in me.

"Abby, look at this one!" Erika called out from a few aisles over. She stood beside a shelf that held an array of peace lilies, their white blooms stark against the dark foliage. "It's perfect. Simple but elegant. I think he'll like this."

"Peace lily, huh?" I mused, reading the label as I picked one up. Its leaves were glossy and smooth. I hadn't seen a plant like this at Nathan's, and I did think he would like it…even if it was a little on the nose.

"Yep, and they're easy to care for," Erika said, giving me an approving nod. "That's what the sign says. Even for a newbie like you."

"Sold," I replied with a smile, cradling the potted plant in my arms. It felt good to make a decision that didn't involve tailing suspects or decoding secret messages—just a girl buying a plant for a guy who loved them.

I just hoped he saw it for what it was.

Because if he didn't, I was pretty sure my life was about to get a whole lot worse.