Chapter Thirty-Five

It’s time.

It tells me that. The voice is deep, penetrative.

It calls, like an inner beckoning.

It is time.

Rolling out from under the blanket and Drake’s heavy arm, I shift to my feet.

It tells me to put my dress on, so I do. But not my shoes. They’re Gem’s.

My mind is clear in the pale morning fog. The breeze brushes calm across my skin as I walk.

It’s alright, It tells me. You’re loved. You’re beautiful. This is necessary.

In a voice that sounds almost like Drake’s, only darker, more cavernous, it repeats his words; The most perfect bliss of control comes when you let go.

Let… Go…

Exiting the clearing, I glance back once more at the guys; those three gorgeous souls.

They love you, It whispers.

I think I love them, too.

I feel certain that in a different place, I’m going to live with them forever. We’ll work and love and exist together… Start a family.

Finding this land, the Expanse, and all the spectacular things they’ve made here… It changed everything for me. Last night was the ultimate awakening. And after my realizations with Darian, then the four of us coming together… I’m whole.

They’re whole, as well. Together.

The three of them are finally together, and I think I helped that happen. I did good for It.

In return, my entire life will be different, starting right now.

Just not right here.

The black rock isn’t visibly there, where they sleep. But it is.

Turning, I walk slowly, stepping softly to mind my bare feet. It reminds me of Abdiel, that morning after we first met.

He’s such a perfect human.

The closure, the acceptance he found last night in the deaths of his parents…

His Ecdysis is complete.

And so will be mine.

Wandering over to the edge of the cliff, I close my eyes. I take a deep breath. The wind brushes through my hair.

And I smile.

drake

I awaken at the feel of a shift beneath my skin.

Blinking groggily over my tired eyes, I try to remember where I am.

Right. I’m still on the mountain. In the clearing.

We had fully planned to go back down after fooling around some more, but then we passed out. And I get it. I’m exhausted from all the activities.

Rolling onto my side, I face Darian and Abdiel, both sleeping soundly, wearing each other like a second skin. My mouth twists at its corners.

I love them.

The things we accepted last night… The truths we found together and the sacrifices we made together…

This is how it’s supposed to be.

This is the balance. Our order. It makes sense. It feels right.

My King, and my Prince… and…

My head whips around.

I don’t see Rhiannon anywhere.

Sitting up slowly, my eyes scan all over the general vicinity, wondering if maybe she had to pee or something.

But I don’t see her.

Rising on shaky legs, muscles strained all over my body, I twirl and twirl around the clearing.

The black rock isn’t visible… And neither is Rhiannon.

My pulse is picking up fast, thumping in my neck as my chest tightens.

Tightens as if someone’s holding me.

I glance down at Darian. His eyelids are fluttering in his sleep.

He’s mumbling out nonsense.

At the snap of a twig, my head shifts. Thirty feet off in the distance, at the overlook, strawberry blonde hair floats in the breeze.

My eyes widen. My stomach plummets.

She smiles.

She steps…

Over the edge.

My hand reaches out.

No!

My heart screams.

I dive forward, reaching… But I’m too far.

And she’s already gone.

No no no! I cry.

Droplets of red fall onto the forest floor.

abdiel

My eyes snap open at the sounds of aggrieved screaming.

The ground beneath my stiff body is moving, rumbling. The wails I hear echo in my mind.

Forcing myself to wake faster, I rub my eyes and look up to find Drake weeping tears of blood.

My awareness kicks in and I jump, crawling over to him.

“Drake! What’s wrong?” I gasp, checking him all over.

He’s shivering, still naked and covered in dirt. Shaking through violent sobs.

My face turns left, then right.

Something is wrong.

“Where’s Rhiannon?”

Drake wipes at the red from his face, streaking over his pale skin. And he slides his snake eyes up to mine.

He says nothing. But I gulp, my heart crumbling inside me.

I already know.

Why…?

My lower lip quivers as my head wobbles, over and over and over. My eyes sweep to the cliff.

My mind fumbles with images of her trying to go over last time.

I swallow, my throat dry.

The wind blows.

No… she wouldn’t.

Why??

Standing, I stalk over to my clothes, dressing fast. Drake stands up slowly and saunters over to me, sniffling. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going down there. Maybe she’s…” My voice cuts into a desperate whimper I try to cover up with my hands on my face.

Darian is still asleep… But when I glance down at him, I find him shifting all around. His fingers are digging into the dirt.

My eyes linger on him for a moment, as I speak to Drake, “Where is It?”

They lift to his, and he somberly shakes his head.

Darian thrashes onto his back, arching as his eyes roll into his skull. A sudden blast of frigid air bursts through the trees, and the scent of musky flowers fills the air.

My forehead is lined in my confusion. What the hell is going on here??

Dropping to my knees, I shake Darian. “Wake up! Darian, baby, wake up, please! Something terrible has happened…”

Darian’s eyes snap open fast. His irises are black, like charcoal. Obsidian.

He sits up gradually and closes them again, rubbing with his fingers.

And when he reopens his eyes, they’re crystalline blue once more.

I peer at Drake for a moment, and he at me.

“Darian… my King…” I whisper, reaching out to brush his neck. “Are you alright?”

He shakes his head slowly, peering up at me. “She’s gone… Isn’t she?”

My stomach ripples in despair as I stand up, not wanting to believe it.

I refuse.

“Let’s go. Now,” I bark. “We have to get to the ravine.”

Neither of them say a word, their minds equally quiet as we all redress fast, then stomp back down the trail. We descend the mountain in the direction of the gully.

Where my parents were found.

My pulse is jumping inside my body, fear and devastation bubbling beneath the surface. I don’t want to think that this could happen…

I don’t want this to be real.

When we finally reach the ravine, we walk down into it, only a bit of mud lingering within the gully. We trudge through it, growing closer and closer…

And as we approach, the exact same spot, I’m twelve years old again.

Gazing down at the body of my friend, anguish reaches inside me and rips away all the comforts from just an hour ago.

Everything I thought we were building to. The good, not the evil.

I turn and throw up on the ground next to my shoes.

“Baby,” Darian rushes, grabbing me in his arms. He hugs onto me hard, holding my head in his hand while I cry. “Shh, my sweet Prince. I have you.”

For many long, sorrowful minutes, we stand, just holding each other and crying.

Next to the body of our fourth.

Our wails tie together, Darian’s and mine, aching in loss.

She could have been so much to us…

She was.

When I finally lift my face from the crook of Darian’s neck, I see Drake, lying in the mud by Rhiannon’s body.

He brings a razorblade to his chest, just above his heart, and slices.

The red seeps from his pale skin, rushing over into the dirt. He stares up at the sky.

Imbalanced.

darian

I’m asking Mother why…

We’ve been sitting in the ravine for over an hour. My face is tight, eyes burning from all the crying. Tears long since having dried up.

Mother… I know nothing happens by accident. I know that.

But why…?

Why, after what we just realized together, would Rhiannon be taken?

Why, when we discovered we’re meant to be in transformation together?

Rhiannon was just like me in many ways… We bonded; linked ourselves together.

Was this to punish me, Mother? Was this to teach me a lesson?

A raven squawks above my head.

Evil does atone, Your Highness.

My jaw clenches, fingers still brushing through Abdiel’s soft curls. He’s devastated, understandably. I think Drake is, too.

He hasn’t said a word so far.

And I’m… well, I’m confused. Confounded.

I feel… guilty.

“Don’t,” Abdiel whispers, his voice hoarse. “Don’t blame yourself. Either of you.”

He glances at up Drake, who’s propped up against the edge of the gully, dried blood smeared on his chest.

“Mourn, but don’t fear this,” Abdiel mumbles.

I blink down at him, sliding my thumb along his puffy lower lip. His tone is lined with despondence, but he’s still trying to be strong. I hear him doing so, and I just can’t believe how blessed I’ve been to have him.

You’re such a gift, Prince Abdiel.

He leans his head into my touch, exhausted and grieving. My neck rolls toward my Serpent.

Baby… come to me. Please.

I witness him taking in a deep breath before he stands up and wanders over to where Abdiel and I are seated. He plops down at my side, immediately melting himself into me.

“There was… A different version of the future with her in it,” he sighs. “I think we would have liked it.”

I nod. “Me, too.”

And we sit with this, this new present, a different future, until dark.

Until it’s time to move on… In infinite purpose.

That imperfect order.