Chapter Twenty-Nine

My stomach is in knots.

It feels awful, all that twisting and tying. I’m tormented with a guilt so strong it burns my insides like bile.

Abdiel was gone when I woke up. I was relieved when he came to bed with me, after I told him the truth. After I confessed my secret… about my intimate relationship with his father. He was hurt and confused, I could see it, hear it even worse.

But he still stayed with me. He slept in my arms, breathing soft breaths on my flesh, brushing me with his sweetness, his acceptance; his loving forgiveness.

Yet reluctantly, I dozed off. And when I awoke, he was gone.

My fingers rake through my hair, and I pull hard, until it stings.

I took his virginity last night. It was an awakening for my soul, having him inside me. His body in mine and his breath in my lungs, filling me with every beautiful bit of his perfect.

I never knew how much I needed something until Abdiel Harmony stumbled into my bed.

But I ruined it. I blundered our time with the truth, and while he needed to hear it, I just wish I could’ve hung onto that bliss for a little while longer. Just a few more minutes of blind love, before I decimated it all.

I’m a disaster.

It’s just after dinner. Abdiel was nowhere to be found tonight, bringing my inner turmoil to the surface. Everyone’s been watching me, wondering what’s up. Speculating.

They can tell something is off with me, and I’m too exhausted, too strained to hide.

Abdiel worked a morning shift, then he took off before I could attempt speaking with him. I haven’t seen him since he fell asleep by my side with the pale light of dawn streaming in through my bedroom windows.

I need to talk to him. I just need him to understand that I don’t want to hurt him.

I need him to know that I love him, too.

And I know where he’ll be so I can try…

It’s time for reflection. Night is upon us, and I decide to walk, with the wives, to the fire pit. Abdiel is set to sing tonight. Everyone’s been looking forward to it.

Usually, he sings once a week or so, but he hasn’t done it in a few weeks. I can’t bear to think it’s because I’ve been distracting him from the things he loves, but I also can’t deny my own insecurities. I’m fucking the kid up, and that’s the last thing I want.

I want him to prosper. I want him to soar…

We get to the fire, and it’s a packed house. Hundreds of my family are gathered around, talking, conversing, laughing together. It’s the first time in a while that all five of my wives are here, too. It’s a big night.

I just can’t wait to see him… To hear his exquisite voice.

I pray he’ll give me another chance. That this isn’t over before it even began.

The noise of the crowd dies down, and my eyes shift all around, searching for Abdiel. When I spot him, my heart tries to jump right out of my chest. He looks gorgeous, if not slightly tired. His grin is warier than usual, and I hear him thinking about me. His thoughts are on me before his eyes are. It gives me some peace, to know he’s thinking of me, even in our times of trouble.

He sits on a bench, by Jordan’s side. Jordan tunes his acoustic guitar while Abdiel gazes around, smiling and waving at his family. There are so many people here, it’s difficult to see over the crowd. But the wives and I are in our usual seats, off to the side.

And then his eyes find mine.

He blinks, and I hear him. Hi…

Hi, baby, I bite my lip.

A flush rises to his cheeks, but he looks away, forehead lined in apprehension. I physically loathe myself for doing this to him. I never meant for any of it to happen this way.

It’s not like I sought him out knowing he was my former lover’s son. It just happened, and I don’t regret it.

Because I’m in love with him.

I know Abdiel hears my thoughts, but he’s forcing himself not to look at me. Jordan strums the beginning chords of their song, and immediately, everyone cheers.

It’s a song I know well. A song Drake and I used to listen to when we first ran away…

Nutshell by Alice in Chains.

A sad song, still sung so beautifully by the blonde boy with the evergreen eyes. He’s breathtaking to look at, and even more so to listen to. I’m mesmerized as I watch him, his harmonies floating through the air, draping over us all like a protective sheet of serenity.

Out the corner of my eye, I see movement and my head turns to find Drake, off in the woods, a few feet from where we’re all gathered. He’s wearing his white linens, leaning up on a tree, staring directly my way. My eyes plead with him to come to me, but of course, he doesn’t.

He never allows himself to.

Abdiel finishes his solemn song, but despite the lyrics holding a serious nature, everyone jumps up in applause, shouting and whooping. I clap my hands together as hard as I can, my wives squealing at my sides. And Drake bites his lip, watching Abdiel smile from afar.

Something feels so wrong with Drake right now. There’s something happening inside him that doesn’t work. And naturally, he’s blocking it all out, covering up his thoughts as he does, not allowing me, or Abdiel, close enough to help.

To tell him we love him. That he’s not the evil he thinks he is.

Instead, he stays keeping us at a distance, keeping me away from him, just as Abdiel is.

I’ve never felt so alone.

“Encore!” The crowd is shouting, and Abdiel laughs with Jordan. The sight of him smiling always gets to me. It eases the pain in my chest.

They whisper to each other, likely deciding on a second song. Jordan strums a chord.

But it’s interrupted by a loud cry. “Stop!”

Everyone looks around, all of our faces mirroring the same confusion. Who said that?

The female voice continues, and as it does, it becomes very clear to me who is disrupting Abdiel’s performance, and our nightly reflection. My jaw clenches.

“Stop the show!” The girl shouts, that inconsiderate little thing jumping up onto the bench where Abdiel and Jordan are seated.

The Regnum’s eyes are set on her, silence in the crowd deafening. I witness my patrolmen rushing over. Drake steps forward, too. But when they look to me, I simply hold up my hand, signaling them to hang back.

Well, let’s hear what she has to say.

This ought to be good.

“Rhiannon, what are you doing?” Abdiel stands, his eyes pleading with her to stop whatever this is.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Abdiel,” she whispers to him, but then stands taller, addressing the crowd, “But the people need to hear this.”

rhiannon

Everyone is staring at me. Gaping, gawking.

I’m not a public speaker by any means, so to have this many eyes on me at the moment is very nerve-racking.

That said, it’s not exactly quiet.

I can hear everyone’s thoughts, so loud it’s like they’re all talking at once. I don’t know how they do this…

Empyrean. The drugs I took… I know Darian uses them. And Drake, and even Abdiel. That’s how they always answer my unspoken thoughts; that’s how they know what I’m thinking.

These drugs… they’re miraculous. Unlike anything I could ever anticipate experiencing. I always thought telekinesis was a myth, exaggerated by phonies just looking to take your money. But if this stuff was created in a lab, by Drake, then I can only imagine what else is possible.

My mind has been opened to so many things in the last couple of hours.

But then, of course, there’s the fact that this cult, which seems to revolve around these drugs, using them to brainwash people into thinking these brothers are somehow special, or godlike, is also covering up murder.

I witnessed Drake kill that man, in the clearing by the peak. I watched him drag the dude up the mountain, shove him to his knees and slit his throat.

It was terrifying in the moment, but even more so were his thoughts.

I heard him… remembering things. About his and Darian’s foster father. About their past.

Drake killed that man, too. When he was only a teenager.

And now, the people deserve to know who they’re worshipping.

“I know this won’t be easy to hear,” I speak over all the hushed murmurs of thoughts. “And many of you won’t believe me, or you won’t want to… But you need to know the truth. You need to know… that you’re living in a cult.”

I expect a stream of outraged voices, or at the very least a few gasps. But I’m met with nothing but silence. Even the thoughts are zipped up tight in this moment.

“It’s not a commune, this place,” I keep going, looking over all the suspicious faces. “It’s a cult, and your leader…” I aim my gaze at Darian. “He isn’t what he seems.”

A few faces turn to Darian, eyes wide, some of them wondering why he’s even letting me speak right now.

But Darian just stays quiet with his deep gaze locked on mine, arms crossed over his chest, eyebrow raised in a thoroughly unamused manner. He looks bored, and quite frankly, it’s irritating the shit out of me.

“I’ve been in this place for two days, and already I can see what you people can’t.” I command my voice to come out loud enough, fighting against the quiver. “What you’re incapable of seeing because he’s brainwashed you! Him and his brother.”

My eyes dart to Drake, standing off to the side of the group, propped against a tree, wearing all white linens. He looks like a ghost, or a demon or something. Actually, right now, he looks like the cult leader.

He smirks at me, head slanting to the side. Pesky little rodent, his thoughts mumble. A chill zips up my spine.

I can’t forget the image of him slicing that man’s throat in the clearing. The blood everywhere, all over his arms and face. Or the memory I heard of him gutting his foster father…

I only caught the end of it, so I’m not sure what happened to incite the murder. I know there must have been a reason… There had to have been. Otherwise, he’s just a lunatic serial killer, and that can’t be it. Can it?

“The secrets they’re hiding from you all are staggering,” I speak to the people. “Haven’t you ever wondered why such high security is needed for a place that doesn’t even use money? Haven’t you wondered what they’re really growing in that field at the base of the mountain, what they’re really cooking up in that lab?? Haven’t you wondered why you never see or hear of any intruders on your land? Because they’re there alright! If I was able to make it onto the mountain, you bet your asses others are, too. Which begs the question… what is happening to them?”

A few people finally start to share glances with one another. Their thoughts are considering my words, wondering, at long last, why all of this is necessary. They consider the Field of Influence, the lab, the trading that occurs, all of which is headed up by The Alchemist.

Darian’s face remains impassive, but Drake is seething. I feel it on my skin, his thoughts like a blazing wrath of fire singeing me. His jaw is visibly clenched, inner voice hissing at me, You stole from me, stray. You’ll pay dearly for that.

Gulping over my sandpaper throat, I decide to keep going. I have them hooked, now it’s time to reel them in.

“And then, of course, your leader. Your Head Priest.” My eyes land on Darian once more. “Five wives yet still no children? Doesn’t make much sense, does it?”

The wives appear worried, peering at one another, then Darian. But to his credit, he doesn’t flinch. He stays planted, fixed in his spot, glaring. Even his thoughts are silent.

“Rhiannon, stop,” Abdiel whisper-shouts at me. I glance down at him, regretting this move a little just by the look on his face.

He’s hurt. I didn’t mean to upset him, but he’s brainwashed, too. Why can’t he see it?

“Abdiel… you’re in denial, too.” I shake my head. “Don’t you see how much he lies to you? Manipulates you…?”

Abdiel’s brows zip together, his teeth sinking into his lower lip as he breaks our gaze. His thoughts are on something that happened last night, or early this morning… Something Darian confessed to him.

My eyes widen. He was involved with your father??!

Abdiel’s gaze snaps up at me, his face freezing in shock. You can hear me?

I nod subtly. Don’t you see it now, Abdiel? Don’t you see how much he’s using you?

Abdiel appears shattered, but he doesn’t deny what I’m saying, or thinking, to him. And this time when I peer over at Darian, he falters. Just enough.

His forehead lines; the face of someone wounded. He’s hurt that Abdiel is questioning him.

This is all so fucked. “I’m not saying this place isn’t wonderful, because it is,” I go on, addressing the crowd, who are now shifting uncomfortably. “It’s a heaven on Earth. But you need to know who you’re following. You need to question their motives, and the things they keep from you. Don’t you deserve to be made aware, when it affects all of you, too?? If not more!”

I gaze about the sea of faces. “Dictatorship is everyone’s least favorite form of government for a reason. This is America, land of the free. Democracy is the right way, for everyone to have a say in what we do. As a community, as a people, you own this land just as much as they do!”

I point a finger toward Darian and Drake. “Make a change. Vote out the King!”

My voice is so loud it echoes through the trees. I watch the intrigued faces, all eyes glued up on me, and for one very brief moment, I actually expect them to cheer.

But they don’t.

The first thing that happens, letting me know I fucked up, is Lauris. She inches up to Darian’s side, her eyes hard and unforgiving, aimed right in my direction.

Then Gem and Emithel do the same, standing by him, folding their arms the way his are, glaring up at me in doubt and betrayal. Kiara and Alissa are already there with them—they never liked me to begin with—and more movements happen.

People shift from where they were standing, crowded around the bench I’m standing on, over to Darian’s side. One by one, they move up to him, forming a wall at his left and right. A wall of support that is clearly unbreakable, regardless of what I tell them.

It didn’t matter.

Either they’re so beyond brainwashed there’s no getting through to them, or they simply don’t care, about any of it.

Loyalty is the key I hadn’t anticipated.

Drake moves in between everyone to stand by his brother’s side, eyeing me with so much fury my knees begin to wobble. When I look down at Abdiel, his eyes are alit with pity. He feels sorry for me as he stands up and joins Darian’s side.

They all do, each and every one of them, their thoughts quickly turning from murmurs of loyalty to their chosen leader, to angry chants about exiling the traitor.

Kick her out.

Get rid of her.

I don’t care if she disappears, just get her out.

Down with the traitorous bitch!

Go back to the outside, stray!

Off with her head!

Okay, maybe the off with her head was an overreaction, but I can hear a lynch mob forming in their minds, and it’s scaring the shit out of me.

I acknowledge that I made a huge mistake here. I may have just gotten myself killed.

My entire body is shaking violently as I watch all the angry eyes aimed in my direction. The patrolmen stalk up to the bench where I’m standing.

I hold up my hands. “No, please. Wait…”

Drake and Darian share a quick look. Abdiel aims a pleading gaze up at his Head Priest.

Darian blinks down at Abdiel, then holds up a hand. “Stop. Leave her be.”

Everyone is silent again, even their thoughts. Everyone except Drake.

The girl is mine, brother. Leave her to me.

I’m quaking so hard I might wet myself.

Darian’s eyes stay on mine, shimmering with a regal confidence. In this moment, he truly does look like a King.

And that was my biggest mistake… underestimating him.

“You,” he barks, finger pointed my way. “Come with me.” He turns to his patrolmen, giving them a quick head nod I can’t read. Then he looks to Abdiel and Drake. “You two as well. We have much to discuss.”

I hear a quiet fuming in his tone, a fizzling rage that surrounds him as he turns and saunters back toward his Den. Abdiel peeks at me, blinking over wide eyes before following Darian like a puppy. Drake stands in place, glowering at me for a few beats until he too turns and storms up the path after his brother and Abdiel.

And me, well, I just look around at the angry mob I’ve created, and the patrolmen standing guard, waiting to see if I do any more stupid things.

I can’t. There are no more options for me. The only leverage I have is in my head. But the question is… is it enough?