Chapter Thirteen

I’m carrying a mixture of emotions as I come downstairs for dinner.

I’m eager to see Abdiel, though I know I shouldn’t be. I’m nervous that I upset him when I left him in the lake the other night. And then there’s my awareness of the fact that he messed around with my brother.

Every time I think about it, my teeth set, my fists clench, and I just want to hit something. And even having such a reaction is baffling to me.

Abdiel isn’t mine at all. He’s just my Domestic, and a young, sweet member of my family. I can’t understand why I’m suddenly so drawn to him…

It’s like ever since I found out that he watched Drake fuck me, and how he reacted to it, I haven’t been able to get him out of my brain. He’s taken up residency in my mind, and honestly, nothing, not even Drake, or the constant reminder that I’m already married, has been able to kick him out.

Confusing, but in an unexpectedly good way. The kind of way that feels like a kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttering up my esophagus; one of those uncomfortable tickles that triggers dopamine to your brain, whether you want it to or not.

It’s something I’ve only ever truly felt for one other person.

The second I set foot in the dining room, I’m listening for Abdiel. I don’t hear him right away, and disappointment sweeps through me as I consider that he might not be working tonight.

But just as I’m settling into the idea of another dinner staring at Drake’s empty place setting, I hear him…

Abdiel. He’s humming.

I take my seat at the table, paying no mind to anyone or anything other than the sound coming from the kitchen. I can tell right away that it’s Abdiel’s voice. Such a distinctly beautiful sound, captivating me even from the next room. It’s very faint, but I can hear it better because of Empyrean. I can’t actually tell if he’s really humming or doing so in his mind.

Either way, I think I recognize the song.

Definitely Pink Floyd, though I’m unsure of which one…

They begin bringing us drinks, and I can see Abdiel through the doorway, darting back and forth as he plates the food. I’m trying not to be obvious in my obsessive watching, but I’m simply fascinated by him now. The way he moves, the sounds of his thoughts…

I wonder if he captivated Drake the same way he’s captivated me.

The thought squeezes my fist beneath the table.

We get some bread, and I say a prayer over the meal, followed by gazpacho that smells amazing, though I’m having a hard time concentrating because Abdiel still hasn’t come into the room.

Finally, finally, he saunters over with my plate of dinner, eyes on anything but me as he approaches, setting it down in front of me. My gaze slides up him while he leans over to deliver my food, ogling the slope of his neck, the line of his throat, his sharp jaw and those pillowed lips. My cock stirs as his eyes finally meet mine, his cheeks turning subtly pink, as he undoubtedly heard what I was thinking about him.

Our eyes stay locked, for just a moment, though it feels like hours, and I hear him, only for me…

I’ve been thinking about you, too.

My breathing shallows, and he tugs his lower lips between his teeth, bringing a delicious ache to my balls. I shift in my seat, and he clears his throat, flushing up a storm as he scurries off, leaving me to stew in the sexual tension we’ve somehow managed to create together. I don’t know where it came from, or how it got here, but it’s burning me where I sit.

We all dig into our food and Lauris is talking to me about something solstice festival related, though I’m barely paying attention. I feel bad, and I know I shouldn’t ignore her, but I can’t help it. Every time Abdiel comes into the room, he flashes me with these little looks, innocently fluttering his long eyelashes, licking that tasty-looking lip, cheeks visibly blushing through his creamy complexion.

I’m fucking enamored. And as he’s refilling drinks around the table, he’s all I can hear.

Sexy… He’s so damn sexy. God, stop thinking this, Abdiel. He can hear you. But I can’t help it… I haven’t stopped remembering what he looked like in that lake. His beautiful body, his warmth and his strength and the way his voice sounds in my head. I just wish I could… I wish we could…

Abdiel, please, I growl at him with my mind, and he flinches, almost dropping the pitcher in his hand as he gapes across the table at me. You’re driving me crazy.

I’m sorry… He swipes his lip with his tongue, then stalks away, mentally scolding himself.

I don’t want him to feel bad, but I can’t help the grin that forms uncontrollably on my face as I chuckle and shake my head, gaze falling to my lap in hopes of disguising it. The boy seems smitten, and it’s making me feel smitten.

This is crazy. I’m crazy. I shouldn’t be entertaining this at all. I don’t really know the kid, and there are so many reasons why we shouldn’t be flirting, but I can’t help it. His innocence really turns me on more than I ever thought it could.

Drake said he’s a virgin. I don’t want to think about how he knows that, but the more I’m observing Abdiel, the more inclined I am to believe it. I wonder if he’s ever even been kissed properly…

I haven’t, his voice startles me out of my thoughts, and I look up to see him trying to cover up a smirk, pouring water for Lauris at my side. I struggle to remain subtle as my eyes slide up to his, brow lifting with my intrigue.

His thoughts tell me, I’ve never been kissed… at all. Then he bites that damn lip again, and I’m going out of my mind.

How on Earth is that possible, my precious young servant? I lift my drink and take a slow sip, eyeing him over the rim of the glass. I could eat you alive. And then I suck my lip between my teeth, giving him a taste of his own medicine. I can practically hear him shivering.

Abdiel’s paying so much attention to my mouth and so little attention to what he’s doing that it’s Lauris’s startled shriek which brings us both back to reality when we realize he’s overflowing her water glass.

“Oh, shit. I’m so sorry!” Abdiel stutters as Lauris backs up to prevent the water soaking the table from rushing onto her lap. “Let me clean that up for you.”

Kiara and Gem are giggling, and I have to cover my mouth with my hand to stop from having a chuckle myself. He’s so damn cute. The poor thing, all flustered.

Abdiel rushes back over, Gina right behind him, both of them hustling to clean up the water.

“Don’t worry about it,” I tell them in an easy tone while I scoot over and tug Lauris’s chair closer to me. “No harm.”

Abdiel gives me a grateful look framed by permanently pink cheeks, and I can’t help but wink at him.

Please… He whines in his mind. This night has been embarrassing enough as it is.

I chuckle to myself as they retreat to the kitchen, and we finish eating. I’m barely aware of what I’m putting in my mouth, though it’s certainly delicious. Chicken and wild rice with fresh salad. I wonder if Abdiel made it… He’s a great cook, that I know about him.

Once we’re done with a dessert of hazelnut gelato, another favorite, I excuse myself from the table. I go to freshen up, which results in me pacing around my bedroom for fifteen minutes. The desire burning inside me to spend more time with the kid is undeniable. I hate denying myself. And I have to do it all the damn time.

Denying myself has become an unfortunate presence in my life, and I despise it. I don’t want to do it anymore.

I deserve happiness, don’t I? Shouldn’t I be allowed to spend time with someone interesting? To have a nice evening that doesn’t revolve around mind games or faking…

If Abdiel wants to spend time with me too, well then who am I to say no?

Making a snap decision, I leave my bedroom and head back downstairs. Listening closely to the sounds in the kitchen, I can tell they’re about done cleaning up. And all my wives have long since adjourned to wherever they’re spending the rest of the night.

So maybe this could work…

I wait in the study until I hear Abdiel going into the restroom, and when he comes out, I reach around the corner and grab him by the arm, pulling him quickly with me back into the study.

The look on his face is priceless. Nothing but nervous at first, until he realizes it’s me. And then I can hear his elation, glad that I haven’t gone to bed or forgotten about him. It floods me with heated excitement.

Pushing him into the corner so I know we won’t be seen, I crowd him and he looks up at me, swallowing visibly.

“Hi.” I cage him in with my arms on either side of his waist.

“Head Priest… h-hi.” His deep irises the color of evergreens glisten at me as he melds himself into the wall behind him.

“Pretty sure I told you to call me Darian,” I rumble, and he huffs a small chuckle. “Are you almost finished with your shift?”

He nods slowly, radiating uncertainty. I don’t want him to be so nervous around me, but at the same time it stiffens my dick beyond belief.

Keeping my eyes on his, I whisper, “I was thinking… if you’re not busy tonight, I would like to see you.”

His face freezes in dazed wonder as he gapes at me, silent for a full five seconds before he finally croaks, “You would?”

“Yes, young servant.” I lean in closer, brushing his ear with my lips until he shudders. “If you were to show up at the lounge in a few minutes undetected, you could come into the room.”

He hums quietly, resting his head into me. It takes every ounce of my strength to pull away. But I have to. We can’t do this out in the open. If anyone sees, it could ruin everything.

I back up a bit, trailing my hand down his side briefly. “I hope to see you soon, Abdiel.”

His lips part, but nothing comes out. Even his mind seems to be blank, nothing but disbelief bouncing around. It makes me smile. Then I tap him on the chin and turn to leave, heading toward the lounge to wait for him.

When I get inside, I let out a long, rough breath. Wandering to the table by the window, I pour myself a glass of brown liquor, sipping to calm my nerves. Staring out at the lake, at least ten minutes pass while I drain the glass and pour another. Everything that happened by that lake... all the recollections swirling as I remind myself to go slow. I need to keep my wits about me, but I also need to relax. I’m actually shaking.

I have no idea what I’m doing, but I haven’t been this excited in a while. Still, I can’t let my anticipation ruin my time with the kid. I don’t want to push him…

Maybe he won’t even want to come. Maybe I’m being an aggressive creep, like—

My thoughts are cut off by a knock on the door. I close my eyes, grinning in relief as I rush to answer it.

This could be a giant mistake… One there’s no possible way I could stop myself from making.

abdiel

Breathe, Abdiel. Just… breathe…

I’m not sure I’ve ever been this nervous. Not during any of the thousands of dinners I’ve spent serving him, not the first time I sang at reflection, not even when I had to speak at my parents’ funeral.

Certainly not when I went to the lab the other day.

I was nervous then, sure. But this is a completely different beast of burden. I can barely stop my hands from shaking long enough to knock on the door.

I still manage it, and keep reminding myself to breathe as I listen to his heavy footfalls on the other side, his thoughts becoming clearer as he approaches.

And then I hear something that gives me solace.

He’s nervous, too.

That thought allows me to breathe easier as the door opens a crack, my Head Priest peering through, his blue-gray eyes glittering right at me. They hold me captive, almost long enough to overlook the fact that he must have taken more Empyrean recently, though he hasn’t been back in for solitude… Not to my knowledge, anyway.

“Come in,” he hums, sneaking me inside in a stealth manner, checking that there’s no one around before closing and locking the door behind me.

Swallowing hard, I take him in, trying not to be obvious, especially since I know he hears everything rolling around in my mind. I’m getting used to it, though. I’m getting used to him always being able to hear me.

Right now, for example, he definitely knows that I’m admiring how big he is. I’m not a short person. I’m six feet tall, but Darian must be at least six-two. Not quite as tall as Drake, but still, he certainly has the bulk of muscle in his favor.

I know he works out a lot. Even if I didn’t know it, it would be obvious from how wide his arms and shoulders are. I remember all the lines and sinews of his chest and abs, visions burned into my brain… Clusters of muscle I’d love to drag my tongue through. The images in my head have me drooling.

I want to see him naked again.

I blink myself out of my reflections at the look he’s giving me. He has some stress in his brow, and I can’t really tell why. His thoughts are mixing up in his listening to mine, apart from something that sticks out about him not wanting to be like him… Someone from his past…

Who’s him?

He doesn’t answer me, not with his mouth or his mind. Instead, he turns and wanders over to the bed, having a seat on the edge. I glance around the room for a moment, remembering what I saw happen in here only last week.

The night that changed my view of everything.

“They steer the course of our lives,” Darian rumbles, and my eyes fling in his direction once more. He’s seated with his hands folded on his lap. “Each and every one.” Narrowing my gaze at him, I wonder what he’s referring to, but he explains right away. “Our decisions, Abdiel. Our choices, and the footsteps we plant on the path the universe devises.”

It’s strange, a few days ago I might not have had a clue what these words mean. But now…

Now, with Empyrean lingering in my blood, the Ecdysis birthing a new Abdiel, I nod along. I see what he’s saying, as if a new door in my mind has been opened.

It makes him smile, tiny and faint, yet deliciously beautiful and tender all the same.

“So,” he sighs, leaning back a bit on the bed, propping on his elbows while he stares at me, “What would you like to talk about?”

Confusion ripples as I blink. “Talk?”

His tongue swipes his lower lip. “Or is there some other reason you’re here, my servant?”

“I um… I thought you wanted to see me,” I mutter with very little confidence. I wish I could find my backbone, but I can’t seem to be anything but timid around him.

My entire life has passed watching this man from afar; admiring him as if he truly were my King. And now here I am, in a private room with him… Door closed and locked.

We’ve been flirting, and at dinner I heard his thoughts, about wanting to kiss me, to taste me. I had to adjust my erection multiple times.

And now he just wants to talk?

Darian chuckles, shaking his head. “So eager, young servant. I wanted to see you so we could talk…” My stomach drops in disappointment, until he continues, “About that kiss you say you’ve never received.”

“Oh,” the word gusts from between my lips.

Head Priest’s brow lifts, and his mind growls at me, Come here, Abdiel.

My pulse is rapping like crazy inside me as I go to him, like I have no choice whatsoever. And maybe I don’t. Maybe this course was set for me, since the beginning of time; the plan already arranged.

Go to the man you want undeniably, unequivocally, irrevocably. It’s where you need to be, Abdiel. Right here, right now.

When I reach the edge of the bed, I tilt my chin to look down at him, palms sweaty and dick as stiff as marble.

Closer, he commands, his pupils even darker now, compared to the brightness of his irises.

Taking a leap of faith that it’s what he wants, I kneel on the bed and crawl over him, my arms caging his hips. The look on his face is mirroring his hungry thoughts, which are of course reflecting my own. Yet he backs up.

He crawls away from me.

Rejected, I can’t help the wounded tone of my thoughts, fragile ego taking a hit that hurts. But Darian doesn’t look pissed or creeped out, or upset. He doesn’t look unsure at all. His eyes are beaming with a playful need that keeps me crawling after him. Chasing him, because it’s what he wants.

I lunge for him, but he backs up again, scooting away from me on the bed while a youthful chuckle escapes him. I’m unable to stop myself from grinning wickedly as I grab his calf to keep him in place. His pupils dilate visibly as I climb on top of him, straddling his hips.

“Abdiel,” he hums my name breathlessly, hitting me right in the junk. It’s the sexiest sound ever invented when he says my name.

I part my lips, ready to call him Head Priest, but I remember his request and whisper, “Darian,” going for his wrists, pinning them at his sides. Interestingly enough, just like Drake did to me the other day.

“What are you going to do with me now that you’ve caught me, young servant?” He licks his lips, the wall of muscle that is his chest fluttering through his breaths.

I’m trembling with excitement. “You lured me here with the promise of my first kiss.” I lean over him, inching in while he squirms beneath me, such a big, thick beast of a man, yet I have him trapped at my mercy. God, what a turn-on.

“Is that what you want?” His voice vibrates into me like a deep bass.

I nod, slow and sure. “Only if you want to give it to me…”

Drake’s words come back to me. I can’t be anyone’s first kiss…

“Of course, I do,” Darian says like the purr of a jungle cat. But I’m still holding him down. I’m sure he could break free from my grip, but I think he wants it like this. I lean in closer, until my lips are hovering over his and he actually gasps. It’s a faint sound, but it flinches my cock against his through our clothes. “Kiss me, servant boy. Take what you want me to give.”

I don’t even think. For the first time with us, all hesitation is gone as I lower my mouth to his, pressing our lips together softly, yet firm enough that he grunts. One touch, one noise, and my cock is weeping in my pants.

Holy fuck…

Parting my lips over his lower, I suck it into my mouth, gently at first, but when he whimpers, I lose my damn mind. My hands leave his wrists and come up to his face, holding his jaw and his throat, kissing him like I have the slightest idea how, which I don’t.

But it doesn’t matter because he seems to be crumbling beneath me. My King… He loves what I’m doing.

“I do,” he whispers into my mouth, grabbing my waist hard enough to startle me, pulling me so close we’re practically one body. “More. God, give me more more more…”

My tongue slides into his mouth, licking his, tasting him, like scotch and hazelnut. He’s my dream flavor. Our lips work on one another, his owning the fuck out of me, even though I’m on top and I started this. He’s kissing me back, and it’s so sweet, so erotic; leisurely laps and nips and sucks.

I honestly never imagined that my first kiss would be with a boy, let alone a man. Let alone the Head Priest of The Principality.

Get out of your head and fucking kiss me harder, Abdiel. Bruise my lips, baby.

“Fuck…” I pant and give him everything I have, tasting his power and dominance and making it my own.

He wants me to overpower him. I can hear his thoughts, and while I never considered myself dominant, for him I want to be. I want to ravage him; tear him to pieces and put him back together again.

I want to do to him what Drake has done to both of us.

“My gorgeous, delicious servant.” His voice is hoarse with arousal as his hands sink to my lower back. “Can I touch you?”

“Please.” My blood is rushing, mainly below my waist. I can feel it throbbing into my cock, hardening fast, until it’s trying to snake out of my jeans. “Please touch me.”

“God, you’re so precious,” he growls. “So fucking delicious. I could feast on you all day and night and still never be full.” His large hands glide down to cup my ass, hard, and I mewl like a kitten.

His stubble burns the flesh around my lips, swimming my head into a frenzy of lust. His mouth is warm and wet, and his little gasps and moans slipping between my lips taste like him; a sweet and fiery flavor, like cinnamon candy.

He breaks our kiss to rasp, “Touch me,” squeezing my ass in two large handfuls.

So I do. My hands slink down his chest and abs, slipping inside his shirt. Curious fingers graze the line above his pants, soft skin and the hair of his happy trail disappearing into them. I trace it, feeling him quaver at my touch.

“Abdiel.” His tone is almost tortured in his need. “I want so much from you.”

“You can have anything, my King,” I tell him in between sucking on his lips with fervor.

“You don’t know what you’re saying, baby.” One of his hands slides up my back, fingers combing through my hair, stopping the merciless kisses so that our eyes can connect, deep green meeting topaz. “I don’t want to take from you what you wouldn’t give up willingly.”

“I am giving it.” I try to reassure him, though I probably seem just like the horny teenager I am, grinding my aching cock on his crotch, salivating over his delicious mouth and everything I want to do to it. “I’ll give you all of me. Any part you want.”

His lashes flutter and he groans quietly, giving me access to his neck I’ve dreamt of biting and sucking purple. I use the opportunity to drag my lips over his jaw, down the slope to his throat, grazing his Adam’s apple with my tongue until it moves with his swallow.

“Fuck me…” He pushes me down on his erection by my lower back.

“Is that a request?” I grin, and he peers at me, amusement hard to miss even beneath those lids hooded with fervent desire.

“Have you ever done that?” He lifts a cocky brow, and I can hear in his mind that he knows I haven’t.

“Doesn’t matter,” I rumble. “I know you want it. I can hear you, remember?”

“Of course I want it,” he breathes. “But, Abdiel, it’s… I need you to be sure.”

“I’m sure. I have been for a long time,” I tell him with more certainty than words could ever convey. “There’s a reason I haven’t done it yet.”

“Mmm… and what’s that, beautiful?” He croons to me, rich and possessive yet so needy, for me. I can’t believe it.

Moving my lips to his ear, I whisper, “I was… I was waiting for you.”

Fuck, he growls loud in his mind and abruptly flips me onto my back, pinning me to the mattress as his lips come for mine. He kisses me fierce, deep, forcefully treasuring. Exactly how I always imagined he would kiss, only better. Because this isn’t a dream. It’s not a fantasy anymore…

This is real. His hands are all over my chest and my waist, tugging at my clothes while his teeth tug my lips, hard enough that I might bleed, but I don’t care. Not one bit. I need this.

I need you…

My hands are racked with nervous trembles as they move over his chest, feeling the solid muscles there, curves of his pectorals making me hard, unlike anything I could have imagined. Then down to the stones of his abs, wavering just a moment before I get to where his big dick pushes against his pants.

“You’re teasing me, love.” The lazy grin in his voice would be audible even if I couldn’t feel it on my mouth.

My palm covers his erection and we both groan. “You’re so hard.”

“That’s all you.” He moves his lips to my neck.

I shudder. “I make you this hard?”

“Mhmm… You’re addicting, sweet Abdiel.”

Mmm… I love the sound of that.

I rub him a little more, feeling him flex into my palm. I can’t believe this is happening… I’m finally getting what I’ve always wanted. I’m finally doing what I’ve put off for so long because I didn’t want it with anyone else.

And my waiting has paid off. This is euphoric.

I never want it to stop.

And then there’s a knock at the door. It startles me enough that I jump, heart lodging in my throat. But Darian doesn’t seem fazed by it.

“Ignore them,” he grumbles, sucking my pulse while his hand goes for my erection. My eyes fall closed, then dart back open when the knocking happens again, louder this time.

“Go away,” Darian snarls at the door, a chill zipping up my spine and simultaneously zapping me in the balls.

God, he’s fucking sexy.

“Sir, it’s uh… it’s an emergency,” Cam’s voice stutters from behind the door. “Drake’s calling for you. It sounds serious.”

Darian pauses and then sighs in defeat, head dropping forward onto my chest. “Motherfucker.”

I can’t help the grin that hijacks my puffy lips. He lifts, grinning back at me, a sexy little chuckle escaping him as he kisses me once more, this time so soft and sweet I’m swooning all over the place.

“I suppose I must go attend to this…” He sounds endlessly upset about it, and I have no choice but to lean up and kiss away his worry.

“Of course you do. You’re a good leader. The best.”

He gives me a look, his hand resting over my heart for a beat before he sits up and scoots off of me. He crawls off the bed and tries to compose himself, turning back to me while I sit up, doing the same.

“Will you still be here when I return?” He looks so hopeful.

I’m dying to say yes, but I’m not sure that’s wise. What would I do anyway? Sleep in here? Sneak out in the morning like some kind of secret tryst?

That doesn’t sound like fun, although I’m sure what could happen when he returns would be.

Darian runs his fingers through his hair. “Wait two minutes after Cam and I go, then you can sneak out the back door. If you wish…”

I feel the hopelessness on my face as I stare up at him. He understands my reservations, and his thoughts are nothing but sympathetic. So perfect… Such a good man.

His head shakes as he walks to the door, but I jump up from the bed to stop him just before he can open it. I pull his arm until he spins around, his face etched in uncertainty. I’m feeling it myself. I don’t know what to do with these feelings… I’m not sure what to do about us.

But that doesn’t change how badly I need him, which is what I try to convey with my kiss, my lips caressing his, slowly drawing out hushed pants and sighs. His large hands come up my chest, then my neck, and he holds my jaw, kissing me deeply; such a profound feeling I can’t believe I went nineteen years without experiencing it.

I told you… I was waiting for you, my King.

I think I’ve been waiting for you, too… Prince Abdiel.