Chapter 22

22

The lies that target our insecurities are most likely to be believed.

~ Lord Professor Varhesson, Port Jirador University

"I hate him," Kaylina announced as the guards accompanied her and Vlerion out of the royal castle and into the courtyard where the taybarri waited.

Some were in the stable, noshing from buckets alongside the horses. Maybe they found oats more appealing than protein pellets. The stable boy, who might have tried to shoo the taybarri away or presume to put them in stalls, was rubbing his arm. Because one of them had bitten him? Levitke was swishing her tail in irritation, standing outside the stable—she might have refused to be lured in. Fortunately, there weren't any tears in the boy's clothing, so she must have only used her lips to nip him. Kaylina wished someone would nip Spymaster Sabor.

"I am displeased with his new interest in me—in us," Vlerion said, staying vague with witnesses within hearing distance.

"You hate him too."

He managed a faint smile, though the tension hadn't left his body. "I almost hoped you would use your sling on him. I saw you draw it."

The guards that had been escorting them eyed the taybarri herd and stopped at the door of the stable.

"I was tempted." Kaylina walked between Levitke and Crenoch—Vlerion's taybarri hadn't been there earlier, but Targon might have sent him, or the rest of the herd might have called him somehow. Now, the two taybarri stood in the shadow of the stable while the others finished their snacks. "I didn't want to be a fugitive again though. Or get you in trouble. I could tell you would have protected me from him."

"From anything." Vlerion rested a hand on her shoulder, drawing her under the overhanging roof of the stable. "I'm troubled that he's not only aware of you now but wants to use you."

"So he can effectively use you ."

No, not him. The beast. As Vlerion had pointed out, the king and his spymaster, whether it was ideal or not, already had his vow. The beast… was another matter.

"Yes." Vlerion stepped closer and leaned his forehead against the top of her head. "I regret that you've been wrapped up in my life."

With the taybarri to either side of them, and the stable roof overhanging above, they had a semblance of privacy, though Kaylina supposed the guards walking on the castle walls might have glimpses of them. That didn't keep her from leaning into him, relishing being close, as she always did, whether it was wise or not. The part of her that wished she'd used her sling on Sabor also wished Vlerion had sprung upon him, beating him until he realized he'd made a mistake in trying to manipulate them.

"When I left home, I dreamed of proving myself and becoming somebody," Kaylina murmured. "Now, I wish I was nobody."

"Not even a famous mead maker?"

"Well… I wish I was nobody that the government cared about."

"So, you haven't given up your dream."

"I guess not."

"There have been times that I've wished… you would commit fully to becoming a ranger, so that you'd always be near, doing the same work as I."

"And then you came to your senses and realized how much better I am at making mead than chasing down bad guys?" Kaylina spoke the words lightly, but her voice might have been firmer when she added, "And how much more I want to do that."

"You could learn to very effectively chase down bad guys, if you wished, but I do understand that your dream is different from mine."

"And that's okay, right?"

"It is."

She let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Somewhere along the way, Vlerion had started caring about more than protecting her, something she'd often wondered if his beast side compelled him to do. But Vlerion, the man, understood her dream and wanted to support her in pursuing it. That meant a lot to her.

"I know this is your big night." Vlerion rubbed the back of her neck. "When the taybarri have finished eating, you can head to Stillguard Castle. I'll tell Targon you can't train today."

"Thank you." Kaylina slumped against him, appreciating his support—and the way his touch ignited fire in her nerves, making her want more than they could have.

"I must also consider…" Vlerion sighed softly, his fingers stilling.

"Sabor's offer?"

"No. You know I want you to be with me , not the beast. And not in such a way that we would owe Sabor a favor. I do not trust him at all. He may wish to use the beast to end the Virt threat, but that is not where his ambitions end."

"I agree."

"What I am considering is if I should, after your grand opening, let my mother's ham-fisted kidnappers succeed in taking you away from the capital. At least until things settle here."

Kaylina leaned back so she could effectively scowl up at him. "No, you should not. Even if you would let them, I wouldn't. Nor would the castle."

"You're ensconced in that castle less often than you should be," he said, more amused than deterred by her scowl.

"Only because I heard someone roar in pain and was afraid he needed help." Which, she reluctantly admitted, she hadn't given him. Not for lack of wanting to assist, but she was the reason his enemy had gotten away. When she'd bumbled down into the bathhouse, the beast had been effectively luring the sage assassins into the catacombs for whatever trap he'd laid.

"It's not wise to run out into the night when you hear roars of any kind." Vlerion gazed at her through his lashes, not appearing irked or frustrated that she'd joined him.

"We've discussed before that wisdom isn't a trait I possess in great amounts." Kaylina leaned her head back, wishing he would resume the neck rub.

"That is true. And I understand the need to protect those you care about." His half-lidded gaze drooped to her chest, making her realize she was leaning in a way that thrust it toward him.

"And those you lust after?" She straightened, glad the taybarri were indifferent to embracing humans next to them.

Crenoch yawned.

"They can be the same." Vlerion stepped closer, pulling her into an embrace. "I wish I could come tonight to support you in your mead endeavor."

"And spend the night afterward?" That was what she wished.

"The plant would never allow that, but yes. You know what I want."

"Me."

"Yes," he said, his voice husky.

She needed to step back, mount Levitke, and leave before any dumb ideas came to mind, like scooting into the stable with him so they could get intimate in one of the stalls. If they did, Sabor might come out to offer them that room again. She didn't want that, but she wished…

"How have you… or how did you… you've had relationships with women before, right?" Kaylina caught herself asking.

"Not relationships, no." Vlerion looked toward the courtyard wall. Glaring at someone presuming to peer in their direction?

"But sex, right?"

"Yes."

"And it didn't rouse… you know."

"Once, when I was younger, it did. That taught me to be careful."

"Was that, uhm, Lady Ghara?" Maybe Kaylina shouldn't have pried, but curiosity loosened her tongue. Curiosity and wondering if there was any way they could be together without the beast showing up.

"No. With her and some others, I've been able to find… release, if not total satisfaction, without changing."

"Because you weren't so into it that you were…" She lifted a hand from his shoulder, waving at the air.

He had no trouble interpreting it. "Correct."

She shouldn't have been smug that Ghara hadn't excited him so much that the beast had erupted, but after the insulting things Ghara had said, Kaylina couldn't help but feel pleased that she stirred Vlerion more. She shouldn't have because if she hadn't, they could have been together. But she wanted him to want her like nobody else. She wanted to excite and arouse him.

Her fingers curled around his shoulders as she imagined what being with him would be like. Based on how she'd felt with their brief kisses and touches so far, she believed it would be amazing.

"I've thought a few times," he murmured, watching her face, her lips, and perhaps following her thoughts, "about the rewards I've promised you."

"Yeah, I think about those too."

"I've thought that if I took a drug to calm my libido, I might satisfy you without endangering you, but I doubt even a dulling medicine could tame what I feel when I'm close to you. Even when I'm not close to you, you're in my thoughts and can evoke… Well, in the park, it wasn't thoughts of protection that brought forth the beast to hunt the assassin. I was indignant and did want to end the threat to you, but it was remembering you in the druid ruins, your lips trailing over my flesh, your hand stroking me, arousing me."

She flushed, turned on by his admission but also ashamed by the memory. "I shouldn't have done that. It was presumptuous."

"It was exquisite."

"It wasn't what you wanted."

"It was what I wanted more than anything else," he admitted ruefully. " You're what I want more than anything else. If I could ensure I wouldn't hurt you…"

"You'd accept Sabor's offer?"

"Of the room, maybe. To do his bidding, no."

Her heart pounded at the thought of a private tower room with Vlerion. But it wouldn't be only with Vlerion. At first, it might be, but they both knew the beast would come, and the beast… She wasn't yet sure if she could truly control the beast. Keep him from hurting her. Even if she could, she wanted Vlerion, the man who'd sung to her, who protected her from enemies, and who'd given her the perfect gifts of a sword and yeast for her mead.

"I would make sacrifices if it meant I could have you," he whispered, bending to kiss her neck.

"I know. I want you too. I want?—"

Crenoch stirred, shifting his rump so he could swat Vlerion in the back with his tail.

Vlerion scowled but noticed someone approaching and released Kaylina.

As always, she struggled to lower her arms and let him go, but a guard was walking up with something in his hand. An envelope.

Assuming it was for Vlerion, she straightened her clothing—how had her shirt gotten rucked halfway up her back?—and took another step away.

The guard glanced warily at Vlerion, then extended the envelope to her.

"Spymaster Sabor said to ride after you and give this to you." A bemused expression crossed the guard's face as he glanced from Kaylina to the castle gate.

Yeah, he hadn't had to ride far to find her.

Not commenting on that, Kaylina opened the envelope and stepped closer to Vlerion so she could share whatever message it contained. After Sabor had mostly ignored her, using her only as a prize, she was surprised he'd sent something to her.

"Uhm, you're to read that alone," the guard told her, glancing at Vlerion. "The spymaster said it's a matter of kingdom security."

"Uh-huh." Kaylina was inclined to lean against Vlerion so he could read with her, but he was far more loyal to the crown—and the notion of kingdom security—than she, and he stepped away, nodding for her to read it in private.

Speak to him, and bring him around to my way of thinking.

Kaylina almost snorted, but the next line caught her attention.

I can do more than ensure no kidnappers trouble you and provide a way for the beast to satisfy your sexual needs. I have means and many, many capable researchers at my disposal. I may soon have knowledge that you would find useful in lifting his curse, which I will allow to happen once the threat of the rebels is past. I already know something you should be aware of. The Symbol of the Sentinel, as the brand you've received is called, binds you irrevocably to that plant until it releases you. It conveys power, but there's a downside. Your life force is linked with its, and if it dies, you die. You'd better not forget to water it.

Kaylina stared at the words in horror. Were they true? Or was Sabor trying to manipulate her, the same as he'd tried to manipulate Vlerion?

"Oh, there's no doubt he's doing that," she muttered. The question was if the words were lies or truth.