Chapter 5

5

Lila (Nala)

I sat in the back of the van trying desperately to keep my eyes open.

I was tired, but I needed to stay awake. I had to protect my baby from this crazy man. It wasn't until our last stop did I realize who he was. My house had been dark, so I couldn't see him. The moment he opened the back door of the van and the light came on, I saw he was the fine ass man I ran into at the hospital.

When he said maybe we would run into each other again sometime, this wasn't what I had in mind. Fucking Slim. My mind had been racing for hours trying to figure out just how he found me. I'd been careful and meticulous. I didn't have social media, and there weren't any credit cards in my name, so there was no paper trail. He couldn't trace my phone calls.

I was on the other side of the fucking country and every trace of Nala Stanton was gone. How did he find me after six years? I thought about my parents. What if he had them? What if he'd tortured them into giving up my location? What if he'd killed them? The thought of that being the outcome sent me into prayer mode. I prayed harder than I ever had before. If something happened to either of them because of me, I'd never forgive myself.

I looked down at Makari sleeping softly with her head resting in my lap. My poor, sweet baby. She was innocent in all of this. Slim didn't even know about her. I refused to leave her in this world with him. She wouldn't suffer the same fate I did with her father. I thought back to the day I found out I was pregnant.

It was about a month before I left Slim. I'd been cleaning the bathroom one morning and had moved to declutter the cabinet under the sink. When I stumbled upon a box of tampons, I stopped. It hit me that I hadn't had my period that month.

"When was the last time I had a period?" I asked myself aloud.

For a moment, I stood there doing the math. Slim and I hadn't been intimate in at least three months. He told me he wasn't touching me again until I lost at least twenty pounds. He had no idea that was a blessing rather than a punishment. I'd long since stopped being sexually attracted to him.

In fact, I had to think about other men to even get in the mood to be with him. I'd been faking for so long that it had become second nature at this point. As I stood there with the box in my hand, I realized I didn't remember my last period.

"Shit!"

Tossing the box back under the cabinet, I left the bathroom. Kicking off my house slippers, I shoved my feet into my slides, grabbed my purse, and sprinted from the room. Just as I got to the front door, Slim appeared, scaring the shit out of me.

"Where the hell are you running off to?" he asked.

I composed myself as I turned to face him. "Walmart."

"With what money?"

"I didn't know you were here. I was just about to text and ask you to send me some cash. I need a few things."

"Things like what?"

"Hygiene and cleaning products. We could use some more toilet tissue, too."

He eyed me skeptically before slowly reaching into his pocket and pulling out a wad of cash. He peeled off three hundred dollar bills and stepped close to me.

"That's enough?" he asked, peering down at me.

I nodded. "Yes. Thank you."

"Mmm hmm. You have an hour to get back. Don't make me come looking for you."

"I won't be long."

"Bring my change back."

I nodded.

His eyes trailed my frame as he backed away from me and headed back in the direction in which he came from. I grabbed my keys and calmly made my exit. Once I was out of the neighborhood, I sped all the way to Walmart. Grabbing a cart, I filled it with shit I didn't even need, just so I didn't come back empty handed. When I was done, I made a beeline for the pregnancy tests.

I hated that these bitches around here were always stealing. The tests were locked up and I had to ask an associate to open the case for me. I stood off to the side, nervously checking my surroundings to make sure nobody that knew me or Slim caught me. The last thing I needed was this getting back to him before I had a chance to know for myself first.

The moment the test was in my hands, I sprinted for the self-checkout register and scanned my items at lightning speed. I opted to pay for the items separately, because knowing Slim, he was going to ask for a receipt. I had a single twenty in my wallet that I found while washing clothes and used that to pay for the pregnancy test.

Quickly, I rushed out of the store and loaded the bags into my car. I drove to the nearest gas station, then hopped out and ran inside to the bathroom with the test tucked discreetly in my purse. After locking myself in a stall, I pulled it out. For a moment, I stared at it. The results would mean one of two things: I was stuck with Slim and a baby forever and probably nothing would change... Or I wasn't pregnant, and I was still stuck with Slim and nothing would change.

Neither seemed like a good option.

Ripping the box open, I pulled my pants down and hovered over the toilet, releasing my bladder onto the stick. The wait was the longest five minutes of my life, and when it showed positive, I felt like my life was over. I slumped against the wall, silently crying my eyes out.

"No, no, no, no, no! This can't be happening!" I wailed.

But it did happen. For weeks, I contemplated every day what I was going to do. I couldn't ask him for money to get an abortion because I couldn't tell him I was getting an abortion. The more I thought about that, the more I realized I could never bring myself to harm an innocent child. I didn't care that some people didn't believe that the mass growing inside of me was a human at that point.

Life for me began at conception. I was carrying a life… a life that mattered. Every day that passed with Slim not suspecting anything was another day I fell deeper and deeper into the secret I carried. I was having his baby. Every morning I woke up and accepted my fate, was a morning I spent bonding with the baby in my belly. I rubbed it and talked to my child. I promised he or she that I would find some way to give them the life they deserved… the life we both deserved.

Looking down at Makari now brought tears to my eyes. I ran away to save us and now, somehow, I'd gotten us caught up and we were on our way back to hell. Only God knew what Slim had in store for me. I couldn't go out like that… whatever that was. I had to get away from this man.

I had to.

The feeling of the van coming to a stop jolted me out of my sleep. We'd been driving for hours. It had to be almost daylight by now. I prayed that we were somewhere where there were a lot of people. At least I could make a scene. Maybe if he feared getting caught, he'd just let us go.

He'd foolishly forgotten to tape my mouth shut. Then again, maybe I was the foolish one to think he hadn't thought this through. Either way, I used the opportunity to bite at the tape until I was able to free my hands. With them free, I removed the tape from both me and Kari.

I knew if there was ever a chance to run, I'd have to take it. This was that moment.

"Kari… Kari, baby, wake up. Look at Mommy."

She groggily opened her eyes. "Are we home, Mommy?"

"No, baby. Mommy's so sorry. I'm gonna try to get us to safety. I don't know where we are, but somebody has to help us. I need you to be a big girl for me, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy."

"No matter what happens, I want you to know how much I love you, Kari. You are my heart and soul."

"I love you too," she said, meekly.

"Come here."

She scrambled into my arms. As I felt the weight of the van shift, I quickly climbed to my feet with her in my arms. Slowly, I inched toward the doors, waiting for them to open.

"God, please don't fail me," I prayed as I saw his shadow appear.

The locks disengaged, and the doors swung open. Another strange man stood with a surprised look on his face. I could tell he wasn't expecting me to be standing there. Raising my foot, I kicked him in the face with all my might. He stumbled backwards and fell to the ground. I took the opportunity to jump from the truck and break into a run.

"What the fuck!" I heard my captor yell.

I looked back to see him looking at the man on the ground. Behind them in the distance was a small jet.

"She broke my nose!" the man yelled.

"Nigga, I don't give a fuck! Getcho ass up and help me catch this broad."

I ran harder, not even knowing where the fuck I was going. We were in the middle of nowhere. All I could see for what seemed like miles and miles was darkness and desert. I wasn't sure which direction to run. I was dressed in nothing but boy shorts and a sports bra, so I was freezing. My bare feet were screaming as they pounded the ground beneath me.

"Mommy, I'm scared!" Makari yelled.

I cupped the back of her head. "I know, baby. Mommy's scared, too."

I could feel my body beginning to tire as the pounding of footsteps behind me got closer. I could barely see where I was going. The darkness wasn't my friend, and it was evident when I tripped over something hard, twisting my ankle in the process. As I went down to the ground, I turned my body so that I took the brunt force of the fall. When I hit the ground, I felt the moment my shoulder dislocated.

I cried out in pain. "Shit!"

Clutching my baby to my chest, I cried profusely. I couldn't outrun this man with a busted ankle and a hurt shoulder. The footsteps slowed, then came to a stop. I looked up to see my captor standing over us with a scowl on his face.

"You satisfied now?" he asked. "Did you get it out of your system?"

"Fuck you!" I screamed at him through my tears.

"Look, Bunny. You really making this shit harder on yourself and your kid."

"I can't go back there! You aren't listening to me!"

"That's not my problem. You're becoming more trouble than you worth. I have half a mind to put your ass to sleep."

I clutched a crying Makari closer to my chest with my good arm.

"How can you be so heartless? I'm a mother. Don't you have one? What would you do if someone did to her what you're doing to me?"

He stared at me but didn't answer. Instead, he turned to the bloody-nosed man.

"Get the kid. I've got her."

"Don't you touch her!" I screamed as the man tried to pry Makari from my arms.

I kicked at him with my good foot, trying to free her of his grip. She screamed a blood curdling scream.

"Let go of me! I want my mommy!"

It broke my heart to hear her cry and know that there was nothing I could do to stop it. My captor finally stepped in and grabbed my arms to restrain me as his partner took Makari from me. She kicked and screamed as he walked back in the direction we'd run from.

"Kari!"

I struggled to my feet. My shoulder and ankle were in excruciating pain as I hobbled after them.

"Mommy!"

I barely made it a few feet before I felt myself being lifted in the air. My good arm swung frantically, trying to hit him any way that I could.

"You son of a bitch!" I screamed. "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

"Calm your ass down!" he bellowed, wrapping me up in a bear hug from behind. "Ain't nobody finna hurt your kid. He's just taking her to the fucking plane."

His voice was deep, rumbling, and full of anger. I had no doubt he was already tired of my shit. As I dangled above the ground in his arms, I could hear him breathing heavily.

"I'm really not trying to fuck you up, Bunny. I asked you to be cool. You be cool, I'll be cool, and this unpleasant ass road trip could have gone smoothly. Now look at you. You don' fucked up your ankle and by the looks of it your shoulder, too. Guess who has to take care of yo' hardheaded ass? Me. Guess who has to carry your thick ass back to this fucking plane? Me. I didn't sign up for this shit."

He scooped me up bridal style and started walking back in the same direction as the bloody nosed man. The whole time he mumbled to himself about how annoying both me and Makari had been the last couple of hours. My chest heaved in anger. How dare he be mad at me for inconveniencing his kidnapping?

All I could do was sit there, stewing in anger and plotting. I was too tired and in too much pain to continue to fight him right now. If he thought I was going to make taking me easy, he had another thing coming.