CHAPTER NINETEEN

Waking up with him on top of me felt strangely perfect. It was the twisted routine we had fallen into. As he moved inside me with deliberate slowness, time seemed to stand still, and I felt lost in a sea of pleasure. Those early morning moments with him were sensual and intensely intimate, and I found myself needing it to feel grounded.

On the rare chance he didn't wake me that way, I felt lost, untethered in a chaotic reality. He always made it right in the end. Making a mess of me as he did. The thrill of being taken by force had given way to something darker, something more sinister.

I found myself longing for the brutality as much as the pleasure. Afterwards, he would wrap me up in his strong arms, engulfing me in a sense of safety and warmth. His touch was gentle yet possessive, reminding me that I was his and his alone. The way his hands caressed me and the look of adoration in his eyes made me feel like the most special person in the world. In those moments, it was just him and I, the tether between us unbreakable.

I almost always dozed back off and that morning had been no exception. The house was quiet. Alexander had left much earlier. Now, I was alone, save for Verity, my silent shadow. I sat on the couch, a warm throw wrapped around me, staring out at the lake as I sipped on a tea meant to calm my stomach. The nausea had been coming and going these past few days, and though I could chalk it up to nerves, deep down, I knew it was something else.

I wasn't ready to confront that thought yet. I pulled the blanket tighter around me, my mind drifting to recent events. So much had changed so quickly. I was no longer the girl working long shifts just to get by, sleeping in a dingy apartment, and having no idea what my future looked like. Now I was here, in this house that was both a sanctuary and a gilded cage, with a man who was both my captor and my lover. None of my old worries could touch me here.

Life with Alexander… I didn't hate it.

That truth was both a comfort and a burden. There were moments when I craved him, when I wanted him more than I cared to admit. It wasn't just about the way he possessed me physically—though that was a large part of it. He had wormed his way into every corner of my mind, every part of me tied to him. It was the way he made me feel needed, the way he looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered.

Sometimes I sought him out just to feel that.

He loved it.

He loved that I couldn't seem to resist him, that I would come to him even when I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. And now I was sitting there knowing full well it was because of that I was in this condition.

A soft voice pulled me from my thoughts. "It's going to rain," Verity commented from the armchair, her eyes on the darkening sky. She was my silent companion, always there, always watching.

I looked outside, noting how the lake's surface had grown darker, more ominous. The sky, which had been clear and sunny only twenty minutes ago, now mirrored my unease. Clouds had rolled in as if the Isle itself knew what I was trying to do and was ready to protest. A storm was coming—both outside and within.

I sighed, setting my tea down. "I should get ready to go."

Alexander had been reluctant to let me leave. I had told him I wanted to make an Oreo dessert, something simple and sweet. After I explained what it was, he'd just given me a look, barely disguising his disgust at the idea. He probably wanted to say something pretentious, like I was above eating stuff like that. I had laughed at him, at how predictable he was in his disdain for anything too ordinary. I also mentioned wanting to get out for a little while since he wouldn't be home. Neither of those things were lies, but they weren't the full truth either.

There was that note.

The anxiety gnawed at me. I wasn't sure if I wanted anyone's help. I wasn't sure I wanted to leave the safety of this house, of Alexander's world.

I was part of it now. And, God help me, I was starting to feel like I belonged. I'd never experienced that anywhere before. I got dressed slowly, my mind still tangled in the thoughts I wasn't quite ready to face. When I emerged, Verity was waiting for me with a smile, offering me an umbrella as the storm clouds outside grew darker. I accepted it with a quiet thanks, grateful for her presence even if I rarely acknowledged it aloud. She wasn't just a servant, not to me. She was something more.

As I stepped outside, Ambrose had already pulled the car around. He was another one I had grown fond of, despite myself. His easygoing nature and the way he always seemed to know when to speak and when to remain silent made it hard not to feel a little more connected to him. It twisted my heart a little more—how I'd let myself get attached to these people.

I slid into the car, offering Ambrose a smile as he started the engine. The drive into town was filled with light, carefree conversation, which distracted me just enough from the weight of my thoughts. When we arrived, I smiled as Ambrose opened the car door for me, the rain lightly tapping against the umbrella he held.

"I won't be long," I said, stepping out onto the cobblestone street.

The town was alive with its usual hum of activity, but my nerves simmered beneath the surface. Ambrose gave me a small nod, his usual calm expression in place. "Take your time, Mistress," he said in his easygoing manner. "I've got a crossword puzzle to finish up anyway."

I smiled, the lightness in his tone easing some of the anxiety that had begun to coil in my chest. "Alright." With a wave, I left him there, feeling his eyes on me as I crossed into the market.

The town was busy, as it often was. Tourists milled about, marveling at the quaint yet mysterious charm of Stygian Isle, while servitors and Isle women moved with purpose. Many greeted me with reverence and happiness. It was normal for them, and I had begun to mind it less and less. This was just another part of my new life.

Anytime I went out, I usually had the Electi and Esther with me, along with their servitors. They were always there, watching over me, offering a sense of companionship I never expected. Another group of people I didn't want to leave. The thought of them, and everything I'd been drawn into, only made the decision weighing on me feel heavier.

Esther had kept the note a secret, proving me wrong about her loyalty. I had assumed she would always run to her brother and tell him all the things I tried to keep hidden, but she had shown me, time and time again, that she could be a true friend. Her silence on the matter was a gift, one that made me realize I could trust her more than I ever expected. And then there was Adelita. I didn't know her well yet, but I wanted to. I might not have felt any lingering attachment to Isabel or Kyle, but Adelita?

She was someone I wanted to get to know, someone I felt I could grow to love. With a shaky breath, I grabbed a basket as my palms began to sweat. I made my way through the aisles, past smiling faces and familiar greetings, and toward the familiar rows of items. The Isle's version of Oreos sat neatly on the shelf—the reason I had told Alexander I was coming here.

But it wasn't just the cookies that had me standing there, frozen. It was the pharmacy in the back of the store, the row of tests sitting there, waiting for me. My heart raced as I considered it, torn between confirming what I already knew deep down, or walking back to the other aisle—the one the note had told me to go to.

I faltered, standing there for a moment, suspended between two choices, two paths. One would answer the gnawing question that had haunted me for days, but the other... The other would take me to something unknown. Something in my chest tightened, pulling me toward that other aisle. Row T4. What would I find there? With a deep breath, I swallowed my hesitation and started toward it.

At the last second, I pivoted, my nerves fraying, and searched for a sign. A bathroom. There—down a narrow hall. I headed for it instead, needing a moment to collect myself before deciding what to do next.

Just as I neared the door to the bathroom, a figure blurred past me, its movement so swift it seemed like a shadow cutting through the dim light.

My breath caught as a masked nun seized my arm with startling strength, pulling me off balance. "Be silent," she hissed, her voice a whisper from the shadows. Before I could even react, she dragged me around a corner, shoving me through a heavy, creaking back door. The basket in my hands felt like dead weight as I was lifted into a waiting SUV, the door slamming shut behind me with a jarring finality. The car lurched forward almost immediately, the engine roaring against the quiet menace of the storm building outside.

"What the hell is going on?" My words trembled, the fear creeping in like fog over a darkened moor.

The masked nun twisted in the front seat, and as she removed the mask, the sight had me swallowing a gasp. Nicolette??the woman who once carried herself with eerie grace was now a twisted version of herself.

Half her lips were missing, crudely torn away where her mouth had been sewn shut weeks ago. The scars, jagged and inflamed, had healed poorly, leaving a grotesque reminder of her punishment. She was no longer the ghostly presence of quiet power—she was broken and horrifying.

"I'm saving you," she rasped, her words barely intelligible through the mangled remains of her mouth. The scarring twisted her expression into something monstrous, her voice laced with desperation. "And myself."

My gaze darted to the driver, and recognition crashed into me. The Bellhop from the resort. I had seen him before, lurking in the corners, always watching. His face, pale and inscrutable, remained fixed ahead as the rain streaked down the windows like the tears of a weeping sky.

Everything about this felt wrong as if I had been swallowed by some grim, twisted nightmare.

"This is William," Nicolette added, her voice garbled and raw as she gestured toward him. "My driver."

I turned, looking out the window, where the dark clouds above seemed to spiral like something out of a gothic painting, thick with the weight of an impending storm. The rain began to fall harder, slashing against the glass like ghostly fingers trying to claw their way in. My heart raced, every part of me screaming to turn back, to stop this madness.

"I don't think I want to do whatever it is you're doing," I stated, my voice barely audible beneath the sound of the downpour.

Nicolette's eyes widened with a manic intensity as she twisted to face me, the scars pulling grotesquely at her ruined lips.

"It's too late for that," she whispered, her voice hollow, like the wind through the halls of an abandoned cathedral.

William drove like a madman, the SUV swerving dangerously through the narrow streets of the town and garnering all the attention the natives detested. The tires screeched as we sped around corners, the engine growling like some wild beast. Panic surged through me, and I tossed the basket aside, fumbling for the seatbelt and hurriedly fastening it around me.

"That's going to slow us down," Nicolette said, her mangled face turned toward me, eyes gleaming with something dark and unsettling.

I didn't reply. I couldn't. It wasn't just my life I had to worry about if this thing collided with something, or worse. The SUV shot out of the town, speeding so fast I knew people must have seen us.

There were eyes everywhere on the Isle. Always watching. Always knowing. Alexander would know. Within minutes, word would reach him.

Alexander.

My heart twisted painfully at the thought of him. How would he react to this? His Lolita, taken from under his watch, or worse… running away. Even if I found a way out of this car, even if I somehow escaped Nicolette and William, I had broken the fragile trust Alexander had placed in me.

Would he punish me?

The thought of his anger made my blood run cold, but more than that, the fear of losing what I had slowly come to want tore through me. He'd never forgive me for this. The SUV lurched to a sudden stop, the tires skidding on the slick ground. Both William and Nicolette threw open their doors in one fluid motion, moving with a frantic urgency.

William was at my side in seconds, yanking my door open and grabbing me roughly by the arm.

"Move fast!" he barked over the roar of the storm, the rain pouring down in thick sheets, drenching us within moments. The wind howled, picking up leaves and debris as if the very Isle itself were furious. And perhaps it was.

"What?" I yelled back, my voice barely cutting through the chaos. I stumbled as he dragged me from the car, my boots slipping on the muddy ground.

A simple fall dress and light jacket were no match for the relentless rain. I wasn't dressed for a dash through the storm, this escape I hadn't asked for. My stomach lurched, and I fought the growing nausea clawing at me. They were practically dragging me now, forcing me into the woods, the ground uneven and treacherous beneath my feet.

I struggled to keep up, my breath hitching as my heels caught on roots and rocks. The rain soaked through my clothes, making every movement more difficult. I could feel my legs trembling beneath me, my heart racing as I fought not to trip. We finally emerged from the trees, and what lay before me stole what little breath I had left. A rocky slope stretched out before us, jagged and perilous, with one wrong step likely to result in broken bones—or worse.

At the bottom of the embankment, a small boat rocked violently, being hammered by the rain as it sat in the churning waters of the lake. The water, usually so serene, was an angry vortex of waves and foam, thrashing about in the storm. Even if I wanted to leave, I would never be stupid enough to do it in these conditions. This was suicide.

And I didn't want to go.

The realization hit me like a punch to the gut. There were people here—people I didn't want to leave. Anya's safety still weighed on my mind. There was Alexander and our baby. My hand unconsciously brushed my stomach, and the thought of leaving felt like a betrayal. I was about to make the same mistake my mother had made. I'd be no better off than she had been. What kind of life would that be? I thought of Alexander again. Of the life I had come to know with him, the twisted, dark bond we shared. I couldn't just run.

I wouldn't.

I pulled back, digging my heels into the ground. "I'm not going!" I yelled, the words tearing from my throat with more force than I expected. Nicolette glanced back at me, her expression unreadable in the torrential rain, but William was quicker. His hand clamped down on my arm, yanking me forward so hard I nearly lost my footing.

"You are going!" he shouted, his grip bruising. "We don't have time for this!"

My heart pounded, the fear gripping me more tightly than ever. The fight inside me surged up. I wasn't running. Not now. Not like this. Through the downpour, I could hear what sounded like shouting, muffled by the storm. The wind howled, and a deafening clap of thunder shook the ground beneath my feet. I struggled against William, his grip on my arm tightening as I fought to break free.

"Let go of me!" I screamed, wrenching my arm free, and shoving him with all the strength I could muster.

My boots slipped in the mud, and I fell backward, landing hard on my ass. Pain shot up my spine, and my hand sliced open on a jagged rock as I hit the ground. I gasped, looking down at the blood pooling in my palm. I heard a scream—Nicolette's drowned out by the storm.

I blinked through the rain, peering toward the edge of the embankment, where William had disappeared. I crawled forward, wincing at the pain in my hand, my fingers trembling as I dragged myself closer to the edge. Peering down, I saw him lying twisted and broken, one leg bent at an unnatural angle, his torso contorted grotesquely. Bones jutted out from his flesh, jagged and white against the darkness of the storm. He was alive—barely—but the agony in his eyes was something I couldn't comprehend. The sight made my stomach turn.

"Shit," I breathed, my heart racing. I hadn't meant for that to happen. I hadn't wanted this.

Nicolette, her voice filled with rage, called me a name, but her words were lost in the storm. She kept moving, determined, heading down the embankment toward the boat at the bottom.

I turned back, glancing up. The wind and rain lashed at my face, stinging my eyes, but I knew that heading toward Nicolette was not an option. She wasn't a safer choice. In fact, she felt more dangerous now than ever.

I kicked off my boots, the cold mud squishing between my toes, and shoved my wet hair out of my face. Taking a deep breath, I braced myself and began to climb, each step upward a battle against the slick rocks and the pull of gravity. I needed to get away, to find safety—away from Nicolette, away and whatever madness she was suffering from.

I froze, straining to hear over the relentless storm the sound of men's voices. Shouting. And then—dogs barking. My heart leapt into my throat. Glancing down, I paused to catch my breath, blinking against the rain as a flurry of movement unfolded below.

Masked and unmasked disciples scattered across the ground, surrounding Nicolette as she tried to make a desperate run for the boat. Before she could reach it, a blur of black shot out from the shadows—a dog. It leapt, fast and fierce, tackling her to the ground. My stomach twisted as I watched her go down, her screams swallowed by the storm.

Swallowing hard, I turned and forced myself to keep climbing, slipping on the wet rocks. My breath came in choppy bursts, my fingers aching, blood still dripping from my cut hand. I was almost there—almost to the top—when a hand suddenly clamped down around my arm. I screamed, panic overtaking me, but then a voice broke through the storm.

"It's me, Lolita."

I looked up, my vision blurred by rain and tears.

"It's alright, deliciae ." His touch, firm yet careful, guided me the rest of the way up the steep hill, never letting go. "Easy."

At the top, I barely had time to catch my breath before he lifted me effortlessly into his arms. His clothes were soaked, just like mine, and yet all I could do was press my head against his chest, the warmth of him grounding me against the cold chaos of the storm. His heartbeat was steady beneath my cheek. He carried me through the woods, moving with purpose, the storm raging around us but distant now.

Finally, I was placed in the back of a car. Disciples hovered nearby, masked and ready. I could see more vehicles blocking off this part of the Isle altogether. I sat there, soaked to the bone, my body trembling as Alexander gently closed the door behind me. The world outside the car was a blur of rain and shadows, the storm still raging.

Inside, there was only the sound of my own heartbeat thundering in my ears, and the question that gnawed at my mind.

What was going to happen now?

Nicolette had tried to take me, to drag me from the Isle, and I'd fought back but if I never would've showed up at that store this wouldn't have happened in the first place.

Would he be angry?

Would he punish me?

I'd failed to protect his trust. A chill ran through me, not from the cold, but from the uncertainty of what awaited me once the car started moving. Alexander was always one step ahead. He knew how to control every situation, every outcome. I knew he wouldn't have liked this kind of unforeseen variable. And now… now I felt as unsteady as that boat would have in this storm, waiting for him to decide my fate.