Chapter Seventeen Vincent

M y mood softened where River was concerned after our outing in the park. Maybe it was because he let me fuck him and maybe it was because I got to dominate an Alpha. Or possibly it was because I realized that he trusted me. If he didn't, he never would've let me breed him like that. That wasn't something Alpha wolves did lightly.

He'd let me in, literally . And I was finally starting to feel like he wasn't going to run away from me again. That same familiar longing for him had been growing in my chest since that day he helped me at the pizza shop. Spending that night together rekindled the flame I'd had for him. Not that it ever went out to begin with, but it definitely grew stronger that night.

Of course, if I was being honest, that day on the beach when he'd called me his mate… that was the day I knew things were serious. No wolf said those words lightly, especially not an Alpha. He told me his wolf took over him at that moment and that's how I knew that he didn't lie when he said it. I still wasn't happy about him scaring off my date and he still wasn't totally forgiven for that, but I was slowly warming up to him again.

And that's why, after our little trip in the park, I asked him to come home with me.

River followed me in his van back to my apartment without question. I waited for him outside my door to catch up. When he got there, I unlocked the door, took him by the hand, and pulled him in behind me. He seemed a bit shocked that I was being so openly affectionate. But I figured he'd earned it. After nearly a week of him groveling day and night, I thought he deserved a little bit of care in return.

"There's a shower if you want to use it," I said, gesturing toward the bathroom. "I know you've probably got sand in places you didn't know you had after all that."

He nodded, heading for the door without saying a word.

"And if you don't mind," I added. "I'll join you in a minute."

"Okay."

He disappeared into the bathroom and I went to the kitchen. Fetching a bottle of wine from the fridge, I uncorked it and sat it on the counter with a pair of glasses. We were going to talk tonight. I had some things I wanted to say to that boy. And, if he knew what was good for him, I expected him to say a few things back.

I also turned the oven to a low temp and tossed in a couple boxes of leftover pizza. It was all I had to offer at the moment and I had a feeling River would be just fine with it. Most of the time he seemed more excited about pizza than I did. However, he hadn't been eating it nearly every day for the past five years. But I figured we'd need the energy.

With things percolating away, I stopped by my room, stripped down, and joined River in the shower. He was just standing there, his head under the hot water as his wet hair clung to the sides of his face. I wrapped my arms around him from the back, his body flinching in surprise at my touch.

"I didn't hear you," he said softly.

"Sorry."

He shook his head, reaching up and grabbing my hands. "Don't be. I like it when you touch me. Even if it's a surprise."

A tingle ran over my skin causing it to break out in goosebumps. I loved it when he said things like that. Those compliments always got the butterflies moving along with at least one other body part. I shifted slightly, ignoring my cock that was already chubbing up from the contact. But River pulled me tighter against him, leaning his head back on my shoulder.

"Want a round two?" he asked, kissing my cheek.

"Maybe in a bit," I replied with a sigh, knowing full well that I'd love to fuck him again. "First, I want to talk with you for a bit."

"Oh." He paused. "Something on your mind?"

"No," I replied, kissing the side of his neck. "But I think it's time you and I said some things to each other. I need to get an idea of where I stand with you."

He let out a long sigh, like he'd been hoping for and avoiding this exact situation. "Yeah. You're right."

"Here." I turned him around so that he was facing me and grabbed a bar of soap from the shower niche. "Let me help you."

River seemed a bit surprised by my offer, but he reached back, grabbing the washcloth and handing it over to me. I soaped it up, getting it nice and bubbly, and then I started to wash him. River closed his eyes as I made slow circles with the cloth, careful to get every nook and cranny of his body. I started at his neck and worked my way across his shoulders. From there I scrubbed his chest and torso gently, spending an extra moment or two teasing his sensitive nipples. He bit his lower lip, doing his best not to moan. But his cock was rock hard, so I knew he liked it no matter how much he pretended not to.

From there I turned him around and worked over his back. He seemed to think I'd stop there, but I dropped to my knees and took care of everything . His face was bright red as I washed him. Maybe he was embarrassed, but he didn't tell me to stop. Some part of him liked it and I did too. It was an intensely intimate way to express how much I cared without the need for words. Besides, I liked doing it. Touching him in this way was more personal than anything we'd ever done.

But, as good things are want to do, the shower eventually came to an end. I got us both a towel and instead of getting back into dirty clothes, I just led him out to the living room with it wrapped around his waist. I took the reheated pizzas out, poured us each a glass of wine, and sat down with him on the couch.

"So," I said, draining half my wine glass in one draught. "I think it's time you and I had a heart to heart about some things." I stared at him from over my glass as I took a bite of pizza. "And I want you to go first."

His expression shifted to one of terror in an instant, but it was quickly replaced with a palpable nervousness. He put down his plate and took a long drink of his wine. There were a couple calming breaths, another drink, and then the glass came to rest next to his plate. Clearly he was gathering up the courage to say something, and I just waited patiently.

"Where do you want to start?"

"How about the mate thing," I replied.

He nodded. "I… uh… well, I guess the first thing to say is that I meant it."

"I gathered that."

"Do you believe in fated mates?"

I gave him a shrug. "It's a cool fairy tale for lovesick preteens, but I don't know if it has a lot of weight in the real world."

"For me, it has even less weight," he said, a tone of defeat in his voice. "For Alphas, mates are usually chosen. An Alpha needs a Luna to lead the pack and a strong Luna can't be left up to fate. They are trained, the best is chosen, and the arrangement is made." He looked up at me, a note of fear in his eyes. "And that's why, when I said those words to you, I was terrified. Not only have I been told that it doesn't matter who I feel a bond with, but that it's hardly more than a fairy tale to begin with. When that word came out of my mouth, I was just as shocked as you were."

"I didn't know things were like that for Alphas. Not that I ever really got a chance to see anything in my old pack. But, while I was surprised by what you said, there was a part of me that already knew it too." I reached up, cupping his cheek. "I felt the mate bond with you too. Honestly, it hit me the first time I met you. That's why I was such an idiot when you smiled at me. I was smitten." I pulled my hand away, taking another sip of my wine. "And that's why, when you told me you were going to leave regardless of how I felt, I got so angry and defensive."

"I wondered if that had something to do with it…"

"Obviously I cared about you and I wanted to see you more, so I couldn't just stop thinking about you. Instead, I thought if I just got the lust out of my system, I could walk away and go back to a normal life. But I couldn't. I wanted to be with you all the time." I looked up at him, my brows furrowed. "And then, after we fucked, you didn't text me back."

"I wanted to, I really did. But I… I was… scared ."

"An Alpha scared?"

"I know," he nodded. "Wolves like me are supposed to be brave… but I've been a coward my whole life. It drives my father crazy. I won't confront anyone, whether it's good or bad. And saying what's on my mind… well, it's like pulling teeth."

"I thought you didn't care about me. That's why I went out with that other guy."

"And then I ruined that too…" He shook his head. "Talk about bad timing on finding my bravery. That one blew up in my face."

I couldn't help feeling suddenly guilty. "I'm sorry I've been so mean to you this past week. I… I was really upset, but it wasn't right of me to take it out on you."

"No," he sighed. "I get it. You had every right to make me feel bad for what I did. It was unacceptable." A small smirk came to his lips. "And if I'm being honest, the groveling was kind of fun. I've never gotten to experience a relationship from that angle before. I… I sort of like not being the one in charge."

"Needed a break from being an Alpha once in a while?"

"Yeah. I guess I did."

We smiled at one another. However, mine quickly faded. I picked up my glass, draining the last of the wine before putting it back down.

"Do you know how I ended up here in Shifter Grover?"

River shook his head.

"I was a pretty special kid, or at least that's how my parents made me feel. I was always ahead in my classes, I was a big reader from a young age, and I never got in trouble. Being an only child, they doted on me quite a bit and made me feel like I was the light in their lives. That I was special ." I let out a long sigh. "So… when I told them I wanted a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend, I thought they'd support me without question…"

There was a long pause as a stone formed in the pit of my stomach.

"What did they do?"

"They kicked me out," I replied, my voice hitching. "At fourteen. No clothes, no money, no nothing. I ran to my best friend's house, a human girl, and told her what happened. That very night her parents took me in, saying I could stay there for a while. But, eventually, the welcome wore out, and I had to move onto a different friend. I hopped from home to home until I finished high school. I'd spent every last spare moment working to save up money because I was still living within a mile or two of the parents that abandoned me." I paused for a moment, wiping the tears from my eyes. "But I made one last mistake before I came here to Shifter Grove. I went back to see them. To prove to them that I was capable of getting along on my own."

River reached out, placing his hand on my shoulder. "Did they hurt you?"

"I didn't even talk to them," I sniffled. "When I got there, I saw their smiling faces through the living room window. They'd had another child while I was away and he was just learning to walk on his own." I looked up at River, feeling the tears flow down my cheeks. "I meant so little to them that they replaced me the moment I left. There's a brother out there that doesn't even know I exist and probably never will." I wiped my face angrily, irritated with my own emotions that I thought I'd gotten over a long time ago. "And so that's why I got so angry when you told me you liked me but weren't going to stay. It just… It was like the un iverse delivered this perfect, beautiful boy to me just to prove that I wasn't special again."

River didn't say anything. Instead he reached out and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug.

"You're special to me," he said softly. "You were from the first moment I met you. I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise, but I promise I'll never do that again. You're my mate and I'm going to take care of you in any way that I can."

I pulled back, fixing my gaze on those deep blue eyes of his. "Even when you go home at the end of the month?"

He stared at me for a long moment, his eyes searching mine. "I… I'm gonna try," he replied at last. "I want to try to figure it out and make things work. I just… I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I'm brave enough to do it."

"I'll help you if I can," I replied. "Whatever you need, just tell me."

"Give me time," was all he said. "I want to be with you."

My heart swelled in my chest, my body filling with warmth and affection. "I want to be with you too."