8. Tayla

Chapter eight

Tayla

Pleasure coursed through me, electric and overwhelming. I bit my lip, stifling a cry as Asher's rough movements sent shockwaves of sensation rippling through my body. Just as I was about to lose myself completely, a jolt of something else—memory?—flashed behind my eyes.

Suddenly, I was elsewhere. A decrepit carriage cart. My body, weak and battered, sprawled across rough wooden planks. The air was thick with the scent of fear and exhaustion.

The cart creaked open. Two guards, their faces blurred in my mind's eye, roughly dragged me into harsh sunlight. The scene shifted again—

I was running, heart pounding, lungs burning. Terror propelled me forward as I fled from... someone. A man. Tall, broad- shouldered, dirty black boots pounding the earth behind me. I couldn't see his face, but dread coiled in my gut.

"Tayla?" Asher's voice snapped me back to the present. His eyes, dark with desire, searched my face. "Where did you go just now?"

I pushed against his chest, creating distance. "I... I need a moment," I gasped, struggling to catch my breath.

Asher's brow furrowed, frustration and concern warring in his expression. "Was I too rough?" he asked, his voice softening. "I can be gentler."

"No, it's not that," I said, pulling the sheets around me. "I'm just... not ready. My mind is a whirlwind right now."

"A whirlwind of what?" Asher pressed, reaching for me. I flinched away instinctively, and hurt flashed in his eyes.

"Memories, I think," I whispered. "But they don't make sense. I was in a carriage, then running... being chased. Pack guards were there, but they treated me like a prisoner."

Asher stiffened, almost imperceptibly. "That sounds... confusing," he said carefully. "But you know you can't trust these fragmented flashes, right? Your mind is still healing."

I stared at him, searching for... something. Reassurance? Truth? "Maybe," I conceded. "But it felt so real. I need to understand what happened to me, Asher. Before we... before this ."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "How long, Tayla?" The words came out harsher than I think he intended. "How long until you accept that you're mine? That we belong together?"

A spark of defiance ignited within me. "I'm trying," I said, meeting his gaze. "But I can't just ignore these feelings, these flashes of... something else. I need time."

Asher's jaw clenched, but then his expression softened. He reached out, slowly this time, and cupped my cheek. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I forget sometimes how difficult this must be for you. We'll take it slow."

I leaned into his touch, conflicted. Part of me craved his warmth, his strength. But another part whispered warnings I couldn't quite decipher.

"Thank you," I whispered. As Asher pulled me into a gentle embrace, I closed my eyes. The flashes of memory lingered at the edges of my mind, a puzzle I was determined to solve—no matter where the truth might lead.

At his words, I frowned in anger. “You don't know what it feels like, so don't question me. I lost my memories, Asher; I don't feel anything. You are supposed to be helping me recover and not forcing things on me.”

“Oh, now you are putting the blame on me?” He tilted his head back. “Was I the one who initiated the kiss?”

“I didn't mean it that way,” I uttered in a low voice, my eyes averted. “No matter how I try to put it, you still feel like a stranger to me.”

He stared at me for a moment before turning away and standing up. “You know what? Forget this ever happened.”

He grabbed his clothes and started dressing himself.

“Asher,” I said, wanting to reason with him, but he just stormed out of the room. The door slammed behind him.

I felt a shiver of cold run down my spine as I sat down there in thought. Was I wrong for not giving in? I thought about how I had initiated the kiss…how my body gave in so easily. Was I unfair to him?

But my mind and body were not into it completely when he got too rough. I knew he was my husband, but nothing felt right with him. Maybe he was right about us being married and I was just overthinking it.

With that, I stood up from the bed to dress up before leaving the room to find Asher. I walked downstairs, searching for him. I found him in the garden, sitting on a stone bench. His brows were furrowed as he stared off into the distant sky.

“Asher,” I said, approaching him. I sat on the bench as well. “I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. I was wrong.”

He turned to me, the anger in his eyes slowly fading away and being replaced by a hint of hurt.

“I understand,” he said. “I was also at fault for thinking I could make you fall in love with me in such a short period of time. You don't even remember me; I'm like a total stranger to you.”

“I still don't understand myself either,” I said. “Maybe you could tell me some things that could trigger my memory. My past? Friends and family?”

He sighed, turning to look at the garden. “But I… I don't know anything about…. I don't know about your friends and family…. Nothing.”

I felt disappointed that my own husband didn't know anything about me. I was hoping to hear more about my life before losing my memories because I felt so lost now.

“But you told me the other day that we were traveling from Silvermoon to Celoria pack when we were involved in a carriage accident. You said we had traveled there to see my family,” I said, feeling confused. Why wasn't he being truthful?

“I…. I didn't…” he began to stutter, making me rethink everything. What was he hiding from me?

“Are you hiding something from me?” I pressed.

“Why are you always questioning me? Can't you just trust me for once?” He snapped at me.

I looked at him, taken aback by the sudden outburst. “I just wanted to know the truth about my past, but it feels like you are not being truthful.”

“You don't trust me because if you did, you wouldn't be questioning me.”

Why was he being like this?

“Asher–”

His stern expression slowly softened as he turned and brushed the hair on my forehead.

“You are being paranoid, Tayla,” he said in a soft voice.

Was something wrong with me?

“Paranoid?” I looked at him, not understanding what he meant.

“Yes,” he nodded. “That's how you behave when you feel stressed. It is something we’ve had to deal with together. I never told you we were returning from Silvermoon,” he stated. “I only said you were involved in a carriage accident while returning from the full moon celebration.”

Maybe he was right; I was the one always seeing the wrong in everything.

“Then we need to see the pack doctor,” I suggested.

“You need to trust me so this marriage can work out.’’ He lifted my chin slightly, his eyes boring into mine. “I'm the only one who understands you. We have tried going to different clinics, but nothing works for you. I just need you to trust me, and you'll be fine.”

I slowly nodded my head. “I trust you, Asher.”

He then pulled me into a warm hug and wrapped me tightly in his bear-like arms. Maybe if I trusted him and did everything he said, I would gain my memories back. I slowly fluttered my eyes closed as I sniffed his manly scent into my nostrils.

When he pulled back from the hug, he planted a warm kiss on my forehead.

“It's almost time for dinner,” he said. “We should go to the dining room.”

I stood from the bench along with him as he guided me to the dining room. My mind drifted back to the memory I had during our love making. Maybe I was just being paranoid and nothing like that ever really happened. As Nora and other maids walked in carrying trays bearing a hearty stew and freshly baked bread, I leaned my back to the chair, deep in thought.

After we were done eating, we both went upstairs, and he lead me to his room.

“I'm sorry for rushing things with you earlier,” he said, bringing his hand to my warm cheek.

“There is no need to apologize,” I said.

He leaned closer, hovering his lips over mine, and I closed my eyes as I waited for him to bridge the gap. Feeling the warmth of his soft lips , felt like home, Asher’s kiss caused my knees to go weak. His hand slid to my neck to support me as he sucked my lip.

Even though it was just days that I'd known him, I was happy that our relationship was working out well.