Chapter Forty-Four

SHAY

Despite the craziness that arose every Sunday, it quickly became my favorite day of the week.

And today, I was especially thankful to have a house full of people around me, which I was sure was why Bishop had waited to tell Ali and me about our dad, knowing I'd need the distraction.

Part of me expected to feel something different when I found out he was dead. I thought I would feel at least some kind of loss, but I didn't.

All I felt was relief.

There was no more wondering if the next person I passed on the street might be him or if the face that appeared in my dreams from time to time might actually become real. For a long time, I'd had felt that one day he'd come back, looking to finish what he started.

And now that I knew he couldn't, I felt like I could start to move on and really focus on the future and leaving the past right where it should be.

Behind me.

"I'm really proud of you, Ali," I told my brother as I hugged him tightly at the door. "You gave me a chance to get my shit together when we were younger, and now it's your turn."

He stepped back, inhaling deeply. "I can't wait to just start creating a new life, one where I can be me. Not the drunk me, or the high me, or the me someone else was forcing me to be." There was something different about the way he smiled and how he spoke. He didn't stutter as much as he used to, and the words came out a lot slower, too, almost as though his brain wasn't running ahead anymore. He wasn't trying to speak the words faster than he could find them in his mind.

It had been a long time since I'd seen this version of my brother, and I couldn't wait to hopefully have him around more so we could reconnect.

Beep. Beep.

A car horn sounded loudly from the road. "Oh shit, that's my Uber," he said, giving me another tight hug before hurrying down the front stairs. "See you later, sis!"

I stood there and waved, a smile painfully stretching my face—those were the best smiles—and it stayed there even as I marched down the hallway. I barely stepped to the side in time to avoid a collision with Whip and Rafe, who were wrestling—Whip surprisingly with the upper hand—and quickly ducked the other way when Match and Scoop raced after them, waving dollar bills in the air and cheering.

"I swear, if I have to patch anyone up today, you're all gonna be in so much trouble," I called after them as they flew into the living room and out of sight.

This was life.

It was disorderly and unpredictable, and there were days when I wondered if I was in some kind of fever dream. But damn, did it fill my heart to the brim.

I stepped out the back door onto the porch and began clearing the things off the table.

"All right, everyone get your shit cleaned up, and we'll meet out by the curb in thirty minutes," Bishop announced as I piled about eight plates high, balancing them precariously as I maneuvered from the backyard through to the kitchen again.

"You guys got something you need to do this afternoon?" I asked Bishop, feeling him fill the kitchen behind me. I always felt the weight of his presence more than anyone else. It was heavy but not in a bad way. It was kind of like a weighted blanket wrapped around me, comforting and warm.

"Yeah, we made some plans at church this morning," he answered, leaning back against the kitchen counter as I piled the plates into the sink and turned on the faucet. "Weather is meant to be really nice for the next few hours, and wanted to make the most of it."

I didn't blame him.

Since that first ride Bishop took me on after picking me up from work, I leaped at every offer. When I rode with him, it felt like we were flying, soaring even. The feel of the wind in my hair and against my skin was like a high.

"Hey, Bishop, Mom said to use this one for now," Kadey announced as she hurried into the kitchen, waving a large full-faced helmet. "Hawk promised to get me my own before next Sunday."

Bishop reached out and knocked on it a couple of times. "Yeah. Looks good to me, kid. Who are you riding with?"

"Cain said I can ride with him," she answered, bouncing on her toes. "He said we get to be in the front, right?"

Bishop ruffled Kadey's hair. "Right, but you need to go home with Mom and put your riding clothes on before we can go anywhere."

She gave him a sharp nod and raced out the door, leaving just the two of us in the kitchen.

I wiped my hands on a towel and tossed it onto the counter. "I'm so confused," I said with a laugh. "Kadey is going with you guys somewhere?"

"We're all going," he said, the corner of his mouth twitching.

I folded my arms across my chest and raised my eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

With a smirk plastered across his face, he reached for me, tugging on the front loop of my jeans and pulling hard, making me stumble right into his arms. "You talked about wanting to keep old traditions to honor Lucy's place here, and I can't really explain how much that fucking means to me and Calli."

"It's true," my best friend added. Bishop and I turned to find her standing in the archway. "But this is your place now too."

"Yeah, but—"

"The club agreed," Bishop cut me off, not allowing me to argue. "That if we were keeping old traditions, we needed to start some new ones to cement your place as well. So every Sunday, we're going to take a ride because I know how you've fallen in love with it."

I laughed and shook my head. "Only a little," I admitted. "So the whole club is going to ride every weekend?"

Bishop shrugged. "Whoever wants to come. Maybe everyone, maybe just us. We get to make it whatever we want to make it."

Because it will be something that's ours, makes me a permanent part of this family and reminds me that this is my place. This is where I belong.

There was a time I never thought I would escape the darkness, and now Bishop was offering me the sun on my face, the wind in my hair, and a life I could have never even dreamed of before.

Bishop tugged on my hands. "So, you coming?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Where are we going?"

"The cabin at the lake."

My mouth dropped. "You said Rook's sister was selling it."

The smug grin that transformed his face made me want to slap and kiss him at the same time. "Yeah, she did. And I bought it."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" I said, trying to keep my voice from cracking. "Let's ride!"