Chapter 5

FIVE

D has come back downstairs.I heard him descend the spiraled steps and my gaze moves back and forth between my face in the mirror, and the bottle of vitamins on the counter. Vitamins I've been taking out of some weird habit since Edan died… vitamins that make human female anatomy work with Sian male anatomy.

It's no secret that the more you take, the more you can take… there was a woman at Margot's who took five of them twice a day, solely so she could use her acrobatic skills to take three Sian men at once without tearing herself apart.

I would have called it an exaggeration, except she showed anyone who asked the security footage from the room.

They're vitamins I shouldn't have. The point is to facilitate breeding. They're meant to make us easier to fuck, and I'm not fucking anyone anymore.

But I could be.

I look back toward the living space and my pussy clenches on air at the idea of having him in every way, not just the ones I've allowed myself so far.

Maybe not today… but someday soon, I may need these.

I pour two out into my hand and swallow them down with a long drink of water.

It doesn't mean I have to give into the way I feel about him. It just means that if I do, I might not get hurt.

Taking a deep breath, I go to him, bare feet padding on the oddly warm floors.

Snow swirls outside and he sets aside the tablet he'd been reading from. As soon as he lets go of it, it retracts into its compact form.

Good. No distractions.

Stepping into the space between his knees, I say, "I have a request."

When he looks up at me, it's with that soft smile I've begun to crave.

But it vanishes as I sink to my knees between his, hands resting on his thighs.

He says my name in a warning tone, one I've heard before…

"I have been asking to suck your cock for too long. You just got rid of your last excuse, are you really going to disappoint us both by manufacturing another one?"

"You don't have to—"

I cut him off. "I don't ask for things I don't want."

He nods and looks… just a little terrified.

His muscles are clenched tight, but I ignore that as I weave the fabric of his waistband through the buckle, and run my finger along the seal that holds the flap closed.

The move drags my finger along the bulge there, and his cock twitches against my touch.

Sian men—if Edan and all of the ones who go to Margot's are the rule, not the exception—crave physical touch. Sex is an outlet for that that I'd grown to crave as well.

And I'd be lying if I said I didn't imagine D when I use my toys at home.

Having him in front of me now… heat coils between my legs, and I lick my lips, looking up to see his jaw locked, eyes narrowed in concentration.

His cock literally pops out as soon as it can get free. And my eyes go wide.

It's been a very long time since I've seen a Sian cock in person—I've learned how to avoid them in the public play rooms—D's is a surprise, not a disappointment.

Big D, indeed.

I hadn't forgotten what they looked like—how could I? Even here, the Agency promotions find their way into our lives.

Sian cocks are similar to human cocks in function… less so in form.

The hard length hides those thick tubes under skin that is ridged along the bottom, as though they had once had the physiological ability to lock themselves inside of their mates.

But the strange, textured softness… The stiffness of those three tubes beneath the skin.

No manufacturer could replicate it, no matter how hard they tried. And like everything else about Sian men, they're bigger.

My fingers don't touch as I wrap my hands around him, running them up and back down the mouthwatering shaft.

If I hadn't done this once or twice—before—I might have started to rethink my plan. But I don't have to get all of him in my mouth.

There are women at Margot's who could.

A sliver of jealousy stabs at me as I wonder if any of the women there knew this had been hidden behind the dark fabric of his pants.

I shove it away.

Thoughts like that have no place here.

Not with something so gorgeous waiting for me to have a taste.

Sliding my fingers over him, I feel the phantom sensations of the last time I'd…

The desire I'd long since kept locked away pressing at the door I've kept it behind.

Edan hadn't let me see him before he'd taken me the first time. If he hadn't been so frantic to claim me, I might have thought he'd done it to keep me from being afraid.

D isn't frantic. He watches me, arms spread wide over the back of the couch. But I can see the tension in the line of his jaw.

His hands are claws, gripping the cushions.

"Is this okay?" I ask, stroking him and keeping my eyes on his.

His answer is a growled "Fuck yes."

Thank the saints.

The skin is so soft, I don't know if I could have stopped myself from touching him if I'd tried.

He's a heavy weight in my hand, and I imagine what it would feel like to have him inside me. That is a desire I'm still unable to give into.

I stroke him and clench my legs together to keep from squirming.

And for two seconds, I consider running back to the bathroom to retrieve the toy hidden in the bottom of my bag.

But somehow, riding a fake version while I have him in my mouth seems simultaneously unfair to him, and like it would be a disappointment.

Still, the idea of it makes me shift forward on my knees.

I'm wet and hot, and I kiss the tip of him to stop from asking for more before either of us are truly ready for it.

The kisses I trail along his cock are definitely a stalling tactic, and he knows it.

Fingers sliding into my hair, he says, "Just tell me what you want."

I lick the ridges from base to tip to buy myself more time.

"I want to suck your cock," I say, channeling all the confidence I've seen Hannah and the other women at Margot's wield.

His breath hitches as I say it. His cock twitches in my hand.

"And then…" That confidence falters, but I push through it. "I want you to fuck my face."

His tongue pokes out to sweep over his lips and when he reaches out to run his thumb over mine, he's smiling. "Better open wide."

Fuck.

Those words send a shock of pure need straight to my pussy, and I can't stop myself from squirming this time.

I lick him from base to tip.

That ridge on the underside of him drags across my tongue, reminding me exactly how those hard ribs would feel as he withdrew.

Scratching this itch was such a bad idea.

Swirling the flared edge of his cockhead with my tongue, I look up, meet his eyes.

Watching him watch me as I do what he said and open wide.

When my lips wrap around him, his eyes flutter closed.

It's just for a moment. It's the sort of pause that makes me think of disbelief.

I'm having a hard time believing it myself.

He's hot and warm, and taking him in is easier than I thought.

But only for that first inch.

When I pull back, I suck, and his eyes widen on a gasp.

His clenched hands hover an inch above the cushions. And he lets out a hiss from behind grit teeth.

His eyes move from mine to where we're joined, and as I dip down onto him again—able to go a little further this time—he reaches out.

His hand is a gentle weight against the back of my head. Not pushing me down, but reminding me he could—will, when I ask him to.

That pressure is a promise that has heat coiling in my belly. I sigh at the thought and then laugh when he twitches in my mouth, bobbing my head in a different direction.

"Kimba." My name is a harsh growl from his lips. "You have no idea how long I've wanted this."

He lapses into the Sian language, one I understand perfectly, but the switch sends a thrill through me.

I know women at Margot's who claimed to have made men forget English entirely. Until now, I'd never understood why they were so proud of the accomplishment.

Pulling back to catch my breath, I ask, "Do you like that?"

"I love it. Please don't stop."

I'd had no intentions of stopping… but teasing him is too tempting.

Pulling away, I watch his face while I keep my hands occupied with his cock.

"What do I get when I make you come?"

His lips curve in a wicked grin. "I have something in mind…" But he doesn't say what.

The threat and promise is too heavy to ignore. But I bite my lip to keep myself from rising to his bait. "Let's see if I deserve it."

Getting my mouth around his cock is still a challenge. I know it never gets easier, the strain was just more familiar when I was in practice.

He lets out a deep moan as I press further down onto him, and the sound cuts through me. Makes me want…

I thought I could get through this without needing to ease my own desire, but I have to take something off. I'm wearing way too many clothes.

Pulling back from him with a suction pop, I sweep my shirt and bra over my head.

He uses the moment I'm away from him to slip his pants the rest of the way down. And he yanks his shirt off too.

He's finally fully naked for me, and that pulse of desire pushes harder at my core.

The skin of his thighs brushes against the sides of my breast as I lean in and take him again.

When I meet his eyes, they're hooded. His jaw is tight.

"Fuck, you look so pretty with my cock in your mouth."

I try to smile, but I can't quite manage it.

I have to rise up on my knees to swallow him, and the cool air caresses my damp and needy pussy. My shorts and underwear are no barrier.

Since I only need one hand to hold his cock steady for me…

I trail the other down my stomach, slipping it into the fabric and touching myself, like I have so many times to the thought of him.

I imagine slipping these shorts off, getting fully naked with him and crawling up to straddle him.

It's so easy to imagine lining his cock up with my pussy instead of my mouth.

Swirling my clit once, I stroke my fingers down, pressing my pussy open as if to invite the cock currently between my lips inside that part of me.

My eyes flutter closed and I can't stop the moan that escapes me.

As I lower my mouth onto him, I slowly move from stroking the wet line of my pussy to pressing both fingers inside of me.

I want him so badly.

He sits up, the movement forcing his cock further into my mouth, and I pull back to look at him, but he doesn't let me go far while he repositions himself.

His fingers lace in my hair, and I have to use my free hand to hold his thigh—to hold myself up. Because he grips my head a little tighter and then he's the one who's controlling the motion. He's the one who's fucking my mouth.

Just like I asked.

He's gentler than he needs to be… but much more of this, and I'll come. I'm not sure how much more abuse my clit can take.

Every thrust is a promise of what I could have if I would just let myself take it.

I look up, relaxing my jaw as much as I can. But each time he presses me further down, I have to close my eyes.

There's just too much of him.

My body screams at me that I'm wrong. There's too much for my mouth, but I press my fingers into me, knowing how easily he would enter me if I pulled away. If I just stood and straddled his gorgeous cock.

He would fit into me like our bodies had been made with each other in mind.

And then he would be mine.

The tightly coiled heat that thought brings to mind is dampened by that ever-present reminder of what could happen if I let it.

I shove the thought away.

Right now is about what we can do.

I knew it had been a while for him, but I hadn't expected…

His face contorts, and I feel the tug as he tries to pull me off, but I don't let him.

As much as this is about him, it's also about what I want.

And I want it all.

I never did this for Edan. He was always too frantic to breed me. Even when we realized he couldn't, he wasn't willing to risk the chance that I might swallow the load that would have impregnated me. And that's why…

D's cum is startling.

Like human men, it's hot. But it's not salty, like I remember from my days on Earth.

It's not sweet… but it has the potential to be intoxicating.

Addicting, even.

My head swims as I pull back, swallowing the first spurts so that I can take the rest.

They come so much more than human men. It's one of the many reasons it's so easy for human women—other human women—to get pregnant.

It's a literal deluge, and I have to close my eyes just to focus on drinking him down.

Ridiculous as it is, I don't want to spill a single drop. I want to wear that accomplishment as a private badge of honor.

His cock twitches once more, and I pull back, watching him as I flick my tongue over his tip one last time.

Leaning forward, he runs his thumb along my lower lip, still slick with him, and then gently presses it between them, silently telling me to suck the last little bit of him from his finger.

"How is it possible," he asks, still in Sianese, "that the saints granted me such a gift?"

"I was thinking the same thing."

His brows rise, just a fraction.

"Have I mentioned the brotherhood is going to hate that they can't whisper about you when you're around."

"And what would they have to whisper about?"

"Jealousy." He pulls me forward so I'm leaning over him, knees on his thighs, his cock resting against my stomach. "Because you're mine."

He's still hard.

Another difference between Sian and human men.

I slip my hand between our bodies, stroking him again.

"You don't have to—"

"I know. I want to." I press him against my stomach, sliding his cock between my hand and skin, stroking him.

There are women at Margot's who work in pairs. Someone else could do what I can't yet…

I don't think I could share him.

Wanting has been my constant companion. Admitting it, my constant fear. I slip from him, back to the floor and run my hands down his thighs.

I want to feel his skin everywhere.

That's why I lick him clean, making sure I've swiped up every last drop, and then, I stand and shimmy my shorts down, swaying my hips in an abbreviated dance.

His gaze is hungry.

He's seen me naked before… thousands of people have, but this is the closest I've gotten to a man with my clothes off in years. And he knows it.

"This is dangerous, Kimba."

"You'll keep me safe." This time, I don't sink to the floor.

Slinging my legs over his, I straddle him, pressing myself to his chest. "You'll never hurt me."

He wraps his arms around me, holding me up so there's no chance I'll sink down onto the cock I know is pointed directly where we both want to put it—directly where it can't go.

I take one of his hands, sliding it down and guiding his fingers into me. "Feel how wet sucking your cock made me."

His hips shift and it nudges the tip of his cock against my clit.

I don't think it was a conscious movement. His body wants mine as much as mine wants his.

Another growl rumbles from deep inside his chest and he shifts, one hand smoothing down my spine until he presses it between my legs, curling up and into me… Blocking his cock from doing the same, but leaving my clit perfectly placed…

I rock my hips and the movement draws my clit along those ridges.

The curse I whisper into his mouth makes him chuckle and he moves his hand, fucking me with his fingers while I grind my clit against his cock.

Arms around his neck, I kiss him, pouring all of the frustration I feel into it.

But mine isn't the only frustration steering this moment.

D pulls back from me, his teeth grit. "I want you so badly…"

He picks me up, slides me back to the ground and fists himself. "I don't want to risk giving into the temptation."

All it would have taken was moving his fingers and he could have been inside me, completely…

"Thank you." I kiss him and sink back onto my heels as he strokes himself.

I watch as his face contorts in pain, as he moves in a rougher grip than I would have attempted.

I run my nails along his ridges and they flare more than I expected.

They always come twice.

The thick lines of his cum stripe my breasts and stomach. Warm and sticky, this spray is less forceful than the first… less voluminous.

Swiping my fingers over my breast, I suck his cum from them. "See how much nicer it is when you give me what I want?"

We could have been doing this for months.

Maybe that's a lie.

Before now, something like this would have probably sent me running.

But the rules have changed—everything has changed—and I'm not going anywhere.

Kimba looks up at me with a coy smile, and my head spins as she licks my cum from her fingers.

But I'm not so far out of it that I've forgotten about the hand she had snaked down between her legs.

She's kept me from leaning forward until now, but it's my turn.

I catch her other hand and draw her fingers to my lips, sucking the taste of her from them.

It's nearly my undoing.

The wetness that coats my tongue sends a fire through my veins that is almost primal.

I push her back, just enough so I can scoop her into my arms and turn her, so she's the one on the sofa.

She's short enough that she's lying nearly all the way down. Only her head is propped up. It's the perfect angle to look at me. And I want her to watch.

"I've wanted to taste you since the moment I saw you step onto that stage."

"Then you'd better make up for lost time."

I drag my pants back on. Sealing myself up so that neither of us can get too carried away this time.

I can't bury my cock in her pussy, but getting the taste of her on my tongue doesn't feel like I'm "settling."

She's wet from both of our fingers, and I stroke her, imagining how easily I could slide into her right now.

I'm already hard again, and there's a haze of lust in her eyes that makes me think she might be reckless enough to let me do something neither of us is ready for yet.

I'd never forgive myself.

"I just want to taste you." I say it low enough, I'm not sure Kimba hears me.

But it's a reminder for me, more than it is a reassurance to her.

"I want that too." She nods. It's a jerking movement. Her eyes are hooded.

And I wonder… just how long it's been.

But asking would just be my ego, searching for an empty prize.

Kissing the inside of her thigh, I don't let myself devour her. Don't let myself take from her the way I desperately want.

Devouring her would be for me. This is for her.

I sigh against her skin, letting my breath warm her already heated core, and she moves beneath me.

Wanting.

But I can't give it to her just yet. I need to pace myself.

Pressing my lips to her other thigh, I shift, moving so I have better access, so I know I'm not accidentally going to wind up crushing her legs.

Her chest rises and falls as she watches me, as she waits. When she bites her lip, I smile against her skin, knowing how easy it would be to give her an orgasm and be done. But I'm not just trying to get her off.

I'm trying to convince her to give me all of her, to trust me… and this is just a part of that.

I cover her with my mouth.

She tastes perfect.

Flicking her clit with my tongue, I hold her hips tighter as they buck beneath me.

The movement reminds me of how she might look on top of me, riding my cock.

Dragging a finger along her slit, I swallow as she shivers. I press into her, trying not to imagine it's another part of me.

I pull Kimba closer to the edge of the sofa and cover her again, using my tongue to tease. Using my fingers to rub and swirl at her clit.

I've waited for this—for her—for so long… I'm honestly surprised I haven't devoured her whole.

But I know no one else has had her since her bondmate's death.

No matter how much I want to hear Kimba cry out as I fill her, making sure she's ready to take what I want to give is more important.

My cock twitches against my pants again, already struggling with the biological imperative to be inside her in the most binding way.

I fight that compulsion by paying more attention to the way she moves beneath my tongue.

Pulling away, just to catch my breath, I slip one finger in again, testing her. She's tight, but not so tight I need to stop there. On my next stroke, she rocks into me. Exactly as I'd hoped.

She's so responsive.

Whether that's because it's been so long, or—and my pulse quickens at the idea—whether it's me she's been waiting to do this for, I don't know.

Honestly, I don't really care.

I crave her.

Her skin is warm on my cheeks, her pussy warmer on my tongue.

Finger buried inside her, I stroke, wanting to pull that sugared bliss from her lips.

Grazing my teeth over her clit, I—

Kimba's gasp is sharp, and her pelvis flinches away from me. I drag in a breath as I look up her naked body to meet her gaze.

She got herself so close while her mouth was on my cock.

Still…

"If you want me to stop—"

"I don't."

"—at any point. Just say."

She nods and it shakes her whole body, moving her on the finger still inside of her. The finger that slides freely now.

Dipping down to press a kiss to her, I pull my hand away, just enough to realign myself. And this time, I press in two. Her moan makes my cock twitch.

She moves on me, pulling away to press back down on my fingers, pushing me deeper inside of her.

Watching her face, my gaze traveling up the length of her body, I see the bliss as it begins to haze her eyes.

Her hands grip the cushions, and each breath pressing her breasts a little higher.

Releasing her hips, I reach up her, needing to touch them. Needing to feel the softness of her.

Wanting to take them in my mouth as I take her with my cock.

"Fuck, D." She spreads her legs wider, wiggling as though she might get closer to me than she already is. "I want so many things I can't have."

"I'll give you anything."

But I'll start with an orgasm.

She bucks as I pressed my thumb to her clit, rubbing her harder, drawing a roughly traced circle.

I slip my hand under her hip and lift her closer to my lips. I want her to come, and I'm not going to stop until…

Arching off the couch, she cries out with a soft sob as she comes apart. The name that floats on the broken sound isn't the one the Maker gave me, it's what she's called me from the start.

"D!"

My cock stiffens back to full attention. She'll be the death of me, if I let her.

I pull my fingers free slowly. The pulsing vise of her diminishing orgasm makes it difficult.

Kimba's still shaking as she comes down and I keep fucking her with my tongue, lapping her up. I'm not done yet.

"That was…"

I lick her again in one long stroke and she flinches—still sensitive from before.

"If I get two, you get two."

This time, I press three fingers into her, stretching as I work her open.

Eyes closed, she bites her lip, but her moans escape as I curl my fingers, stroking.

Her sigh is a harsh curse that turns into a sharp mewl.

The sound drives through me like a spike of pure lust.

I can't take the pressure anymore. Shifting her so that my shoulders support her legs, I spare one hand. Reaching down to free my aching cock, stroking myself as though my hand was her mouth all over again.

I flick her clit with the tips of my tongue, working them back and forth. As she tightens around my fingers, I tighten my hand around my cock.

Her pussy would be a vice on me, and I want to line myself up… I want her to beg me to take her.

Fuck.

I need to come. Quick.

But Kimba comes first.

Her shattering cry echoes off the glass and I stroke myself, watching the beautiful bliss wash over her face again.

I want to see it every day.

Every morning when we wake, and before we go to sleep.

I want this—her—always.

When her face softens, the last of those waves crash over her. The tide of her passion ebbing, I kiss her one last time, and sit back on my heels… trying to decide if I should finish here, or leave her.

I don't have a chance before she presses up onto her elbows.

She sees me and shoots me a half-hearted glare. "Naughty."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

"No," the words are a breath, and she shoves me onto my back, sliding to the floor to once again take me in her mouth.

She pulls back, her soft laughter caressing me. "I could get drunk off this… and you're not even in my head yet."

Yet.

I don't even think she realizes she said it.

Working my cock with her lips and tongue, watching me from where she sucks, her mouth is pure molten pleasure.

A sigh, painted in disappointment, brushes against my wet skin. "I want to fuck you so badly."

I doubt I was meant to hear it, but it's the tipping point.

She takes me into her mouth and I come—harder than I ever remember doing before—and she drinks me in. Pulling back, only when I'm finally done. She licks the tip of me, and hums… like a content, purring zurgle.

I reach for her, and drag her up my body.

We've lain like this so many times before, but not here… not with her naked and me all but. It's wholly familiar and foreign. And I want to stay like this until all the light fades from the sky. Feeling her beside me as our bodies cool.

"Someday, I'll have you. Someday, you'll come apart on my cock. Someday, your pussy will be full of me. But not until you're ready to give every part of yourself to me."

She said yet.

And I'll wait an eternity for her if I have to.