34. Red

She's zoned out, staring at the faucet, knuckles white as she grips the tub edge, face blanched. I don't know if Blair's still on the phone—I assume so—but the air's been terrifyingly quiet since the last contraction ended. I didn't tell Cass that the ambulance estimated it would be forty-five minutes. But I'm sure she knows it won't get all the way to the ranch anytime soon.

"Sweetheart, do you want me in there with you?"

Saying nothing, she scooches forward, and I strip down in record time. Then slip in behind her. Just like last time, when I felt our baby kick and all but confessed to Cassidy that I love her. She leans back, and I whisper against her hair, "I love you."

"I'm so scared," she whispers back.

"I know." It's all I can say, stroking my hand softly over her hair. I'm scared, too. So fucking scared. I know all the things that can go wrong. I've helped with calving a few thousand times—calves die, cows die, they need medical intervention. If anything happens, I will never forgive myself for not forcing her to stay in a hotel in Sheridan for the past two weeks.

She groans, moving her hand from the tub to grab hold of mine and squeezing so hard the bones might shatter.

"Breathe, Cass," I say because it's the only thing I can think of that might help in this situation.

She braces her feet at the far end of the bathtub. While I didn't know my heart was capable of beating as fast as it has for the last twenty minutes, it somehow finds yet another gear. Slamming against my chest as I hold Cass, feeling her bear down with a guttural moan that reverberates through me.

"I'm so proud of you." I kiss her on top of the head when her body finally relaxes, brushing a strand of hair from her sweat-slicked forehead.

"Thank you—also, fuck you." With another contraction, her nails dig into my forearm, no doubt drawing blood.

Three intense pushes later, I watch the love of my life reach down to pull the new love of my life onto her chest. Small, head full of hair, screaming loud enough I'm impressed glass isn't shattering. And, as expected, the look in Cassidy's eyes while she stares down at our baby girl is the most incredible moment I've ever witnessed.

"You did it, sweetheart. You fucking did it. I love you so much. You're so beautiful and incredible and, holy shit, I fucking love you." One hand smooths over her hair, while the other rubs slow circles on our Little Spud's back. My vision's blurred with tears, and the echoing baby cries are the most miraculous sound I've ever heard. And Cass tilts her head to kiss me in a way that makes the world stop spinning entirely.

This time, the doctors don't fuck around when the ambulance drops us off at the hospital two full hours later. Once it's confirmed that Cassidy and the baby are okay, they put us into a proper room. A private one complete with real walls, a pungent sterile smell, and a view of the snowy courtyard—not that I plan on looking at anything but the perfect girls cozied up in the reclined hospital bed.

When the nurse leaves, I tuck the powder-blue blanket around Cass's legs and sit on the edge of the bed to watch my girls. Just as I suspected, Cass is a natural. Even before the ambulance arrived, she had the baby fed and perfectly swaddled in a thick blanket. Honestly, if it weren't for my fear about all the things that could go wrong, she probably would've told the paramedics to stand down.

"Sorry about the red hair." I smooth my thumb carefully over the freshly cleaned, silky, peach-coloured hair.

"I would've been a little disappointed if she was born with anything but." Her eyes leave our perfect, sleeping baby for only a split second to make contact with mine. She tucks fallen hair behind her ear with a drowsy smile. "I love her so much but, like, she kind of looks like a potato, right? Did I eat too many and make a potato baby? Did we jinx it by calling her Little Spud?"

I laugh and gently cover her tiny ears. "Shush. Hazel's the most beautiful tiny potato."

Cass looks up at me and raises an eyebrow. "Hazel?"

"It was on your list, wasn't it? I like it. What do you think?"

She twirls her hair into a makeshift bun at the nape of her neck with one hand. "I love it. That was always my top choice from the list."

"Perfect baby Hazel. I have a feeling she's going to give us a run for our money."

"Yeah, I imagine you have a lot of karma coming your way." She pushes another fallen strand away from her face.

"Can you sit up a bit?" I stand and rummage through the small front pocket of her suitcase to find a hair elastic. Then wedge myself next to her and comb my fingers through her blonde hair.

"What are you doing?" She turns her face toward me, and I place my fingertips on her jaw, lightly pushing her gaze toward the far wall.

"Your hair is clearly driving you nuts. Hell, watching you constantly fucking with it is driving me nuts. And your hands are full, so let me fix it." Starting at her crown, I fold sections of hair over one another. She's long since given up on keeping the hospital gown in its right place, so I kiss her bare shoulder as I work.

"You know how to braid?"

"Sweetheart, I was born to be a girl dad."

She snorts a small laugh. Tying off the long braid, I press my lips to the skin behind her ear. "I've braided my fair share of manes and tails over the years. Just saying, I'm pretty fucking great at it. This bad boy isn't going anywhere." I give the braid a light, playful tug, and she leans into it.

Tucking her body under my arm, we become entirely transfixed by the seven-pound-three-ounce miracle in her arms. Tiny, raspy baby breaths fill my heart until I think my chest might burst. She lets out a small whimper, which Cass is quick to calm with a gentle shushing sound. They're perfect. And I know I'm not—far from, really—but I'm working at it. For them, I'll be everything. I'll do everything.

"You saved me, you know," I say with a hushed voice, trying to disguise the lump in my throat and the tears pricking at my eyes.

Cass tilts her head to look at me, and the corner of her mouth quirks up. "Somebody had to—happy it was us."

There's a knock on the door just as Cass is finishing breastfeeding. I jump from the bed, where I've been watching in awe at how incredible of a mom she is already. "I'll tell them you need some more time."

"It's okay—she got too milk drunk and passed out again. They've all been downstairs for hours waiting to be allowed up to visit. Just let me put my boob away."

"You're amazing. You know that?"

"You've only told me four hundred times in the five hours since she was born."

"If I said it every time the thought popped up in my head, it would be three times that number… at least." I can't wipe the smile that's been on my face since the moment I realized my girls were going to be okay. Once she gives me a nod to indicate she's covered, I open the door—a tidal wave of family nearly knocking me on my ass.

So many people in the room, yet you could hear a pin drop with the way they all silently fawn over the sleeping baby.

Denny drops my truck keys into my palm and pulls me into a tight hug. "Love you, man. Can't believe you have a kid."

I jam the keys into my pocket, never taking my eyes off Cassidy, although the people swarming her keep disrupting my view. "You're telling me."

A massive hand smacks me firmly on the back. Turning to find Dave next to me, my stomach drops—but only for a second. I've never seen a grin quite as large as his, and his eyes are watery when he gives me an approving nod. "Congratulations. She's beautiful."

"Yeah, I think Cass and I spent a full hour staring at her in silence earlier."

"Thank you for taking care of her today. Keeping her safe. I'm sure you were shitting yourself—I fainted when Cassidy was born, and that was in the hospital with doctors and nurses helping. I can't imagine."

"Honestly, there wasn't much time to panic. It happened so fast, and I think I subconsciously knew we couldn't both be freaking out. Plus, Blair was on the phone to walk me through everything during and after. Cass is the one who deserves praise. She did the hard part."

"Well, I'm glad she had you there. I might've misjudged you before—sorry for that." He pats my back again. "I think that baby girl's lucky to have you. Cass, too."

I give him a nod, so taken aback by the shift in his attitude I don't know how to respond. "Thanks, Dave."

He steps in close to hug Cass, then eagerly takes the tiny swaddled pink bundle into his huge arms. And I get why he didn't like or trust me—I understood it at the surface level before, but now I get it. Hazel's only been in Cassidy and my arms before now. And I know the people in this room will protect our little girl with their lives, but it still makes my mouth dry up watching as everybody gets their turn to hold her. Passing her casually from person to person. No way I'm ever trusting anyone with my baby girl.

"Okay… even though you said you didn't need one, we planned a little surprise baby shower for you for this weekend." Kate announces, passing Hazel along to Beryl. "But I'm guessing you won't want a party anytime soon. So we brought our presents and… are you guys coming back to the ranch?" Her eyes cut between me and Cass until she gets a nod. "Perfect. Well, all the food we made will be in your fridge there."

"Thanks, Kate." Cass smiles. Despite how exhausted I know she is, she's glowing.

Cecily hands over a gift bag full of baby books—unsurprising considering she almost always has a book in her hand. "I don't know which board books are the best, so I might've gone overboard buying anything that looked cute."

Cassidy pulls out a John Deere book about tractors, and Cecily adds, "That's Austin's contribution, if you couldn't tell."

Denny laughs, poking Aus in the ribs. "Looks like his reading level."

"Thanks, you guys. This… means a lot." Cass wipes the corner of her eyes, pulling the tissue from another gift bag on her lap.

Kate rubs her hand over the blanket covering Cass's legs. "It's the least we can do for family."