32. Red

Itake the stairs two at a time down to the hospital main floor. The elevator seemed too much of a gamble—if it got stuck, I wouldn't be able to get back to Cassidy. The nurse told me someone would be in to see Cass within fifteen minutes. Honestly, her words sounded like bullshit to me, considering how long we've been waiting. But I need to be who Cass deserves. Not a hot head. Not an asshole. So I thanked her politely and walked away.

The main floor of the hospital is busy thanks to the overcrowded emergency department. Ignoring the knotted feeling in my chest, I weave through the sea of people without taking my eye off a row of vending machines near the exit. I'm so determined, I don't even notice somebody trying to get my attention until they're grabbing hold of my arm roughly, yanking to stop me in my tracks. I spin around, ready to throw down, only to come face to face with Dave.

"Oh, hey." I drop my free arm with a relieved breath.

"Where is she? Is she okay?" Fuck. Maybe Cass was right and we should've held off on telling him we were coming here. There's worry painted across the grooves in his forehead, and this might be the first time in history when his gaze isn't full of contempt when he looks at me.

"She's good, as far as I can tell. Nobody's checked on her since shortly after we first got admitted, so Cass sent me for snacks." I point at the vending machine bank.

"You've been here for two hours and nobody has bothered to keep an eye on her? What the fuck do our taxes pay for then?" His face is turning red and, by the last sentence, he's yelling. At least I'm not the only person who thinks this is absolutely bullshit.

"Don't get me fucking started. I'm trying to keep my cool for Cassidy." Plunking change into the vending machine, I buy her Flaming Hot Cheetos, ketchup chips, and an Aero chocolate bar.

Dave taps the window on the front of the machine. "Coffee Crisp is her favourite."

"Usually, yeah. But she hasn't touched a Coffee Crisp since she ate two in a row and threw up a couple months ago. She still can't even think about them without getting nauseous."

Resigned, his hand drops to his side. "Right. Okay."

I would take the stairs again, but with Dave on my heels, I veer left toward the elevators. When the door shuts behind us, I clear my throat. "Listen, I wanted to apologize for what happened at the bar. What you said stuck with me. The last thing I want is to put Cass through even half of what my dad put Mom through. I know there are people—yourself included—who think I don't deserve her. And you're right. But loving your daughter is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. And I'm willing—no, not just willing. I'm fucking eager to bust my ass to be a man she's proud to be with. Because I need this to work more than I need air."

He tilts his head to look at me. "It takes a real man to admit that."

"That's what I'm trying to be. I'm not drinking. And no offense, but I'm not stepping foot anywhere near your bar again. I'm trying to be better."

Questioning eyes scan my face, seeking a thread to pull. Doing his best to unravel what I'm sure he thinks is bullshit. "Cassie deserves the best."

"Couldn't agree more." I step off the elevator after him and point down the hallway toward the maternity ward. "She's right down there."

A mixture of relief and dread sloshes in my stomach at the sight of a doctor talking to Cass. Both women turn toward us as we walk in, and I toss the snacks down at the foot of the bed, needing them out of my clammy hands before they end up scattered across the floor.

"You must be dad." The doctor gives me a nod hello. I open my mouth to correct her—clarify that I'm the boyfriend and Dave is her dad—when I realize we're talking about Little Spud. And, shit, I'm a dad. Based on Cass's smirk, my face must be contorted in a way that makes it seem like this is the first I'm hearing of a baby.

"Oh, yeah." Why is my mouth suddenly so dry?

"Perfect. So, I was explaining to Cassidy that we'd like baby to stay in until thirty-seven weeks. She's dilated, but contractions have stopped, so I feel comfortable sending her home. That said, for the next couple weeks she needs to rest and stay hydrated. No long walks, limited stairs, no heavy lifting—and pelvic rest, too. So nothing inserted vaginally and no orgasms."

Either somebody's cranked up the thermostat or I've developed a fever randomly because I'm burning up. I can feel the flush from my stomach right up to the top of my head, which honestly might have steam coming from it. And there's no way I can move to stand by the open window because Dave's there, listening to all of this.

"Okay," I croak.

"Perfect. So you're all good to go home. Hopefully we don't see you back here for a few more weeks." She gives Cass a squeeze on the arm before ducking around the curtain.

"Hey, Dad. I told you that you didn't need to come all this way."

"You thought I'd sit at the bar waiting to hear if it was an emergency and then drive the hour to get here?"

"Well it's silly that you drove all the way here for nothing." Legs dangling off the side of the bed, Cass tries to reach for her shoes. Dave and I move simultaneously, nearly headbutting in an effort to be the first to help her. Slipping her winter boots on and tying the laces tight, I glance up to find her loving every second of this treatment. I know she's going to get a kick out of pushing me around for the next couple weeks, not understanding that the harder she makes me work for it, the deeper in love I fall.

"Hey, Dave," I say, still crouched with my hands on the black boot laces. "Why don't you follow us to Cass's house for dinner? I'll cook."

I know the look on Cassidy's face well. I can bet she's internally cursing the doctor for putting her on pelvic rest right now.

"No need to cook. I'll grab us pizza on the way. Meet you two there."

"What the fuck," Cass silently mouths at me, her eyes the size of toonies. And the moment Dave's gone, she's tugging me by the shirt collar, forcing my lips onto hers.

Balancing pizza and pop in my hands, I plunk down next to Cass on the couch, handing her the biggest slice of pepperoni I could find in the box.

"You know ‘light activity' doesn't mean I can't leave the couch, right?"

"But you don't need to because I'm here."

"What next? You baby bird the pizza to me?"

"If you're into…" I stop myself from offering because Dave walks into the room. He already witnessed the doctor stare into my soul as she told me I was absolutely not allowed to give his daughter an orgasm for the next two weeks. That's more than enough awkwardness for one day.

We eat pizza mostly in silence. Then Cass assumes her normal position, feet on my lap and twirling loose hair around her index finger. I tuck the blanket around her and press my thumb to the ball of her right foot. We've spent hours sitting exactly like this, watching her reality dating shows, but I feel like a zoo animal with the way Dave's staring us down. Narrowed eyes swinging like a pendulum between his daughter and me.

Thankfully, I don't need to talk, because Cass doesn't stop long enough for either of us to get a word in edgewise. Her eyes shimmer in the warm lighting, and there's an unbreakable smile creating small wrinkles around her eyes. She tells her dad about the shed I built, describing every detail, periodically glancing in my direction. Then she launches into telling him about the lengthy list of orders she already has from all the guys at the ranch—orders she's eager to start on, since she's officially on medical leave from work. His expression is soft, full of love and awe, as he soaks up every word out of her mouth.

When she finally comes up for air, I know I need to say something, even though it's going to crush her spirit. "So, I don't know if I'll be able to get the shed moved down here within the next couple weeks. I'll talk to the guys and see if I can recruit them, but it might be tough to get it done in time. I'm sorry."

"Well, what if we don't move it at all?" she asks, startling me so my hands stop massaging her feet. "I-I was thinking it might be easier if I stayed at the ranch with you? If that's okay, of course. Not in the bunkhouse, though."

"Of course that's okay. I'm fine coming here, too. You know that?"

"I know. But it's been on my mind since the first night I drove out there. I'll be on maternity leave, so I don't need to be in town. Then you won't have to commute, I have the girls there when I need help, and I can do my leather working. I know I have dad here"—she nods her head in the direction of Dave, who's being unnervingly quiet—"and Blair moves back soon, but they both have to work. It would be nice not to sit here by myself all day, every day."

For a beat, I'm afraid to respond. Waiting for Dave to say his piece. Expecting he'll protest her plan. But he doesn't.

Spending every night wrapped around her in bed and waking up smelling her shampoo, is all I've ever wanted. "If that's what you wanna do, sweetheart. Where's the baby gonna sleep, though?"

"She'll be in a bassinet next to the bed for a while. Then we'll figure it out."

"Okay." I nod, not bothering at all to hide how happy I am. Cass rakes her nails up my forearm, signaling she feels the same way. "Okay, I'll see if some of the guys can help move stuff."

"Red, I can help, too. Whatever you need."

"Thanks, Dave." I squeeze Cass's foot under the blanket at the same moment her fingers tighten around my forearm.

Cass is single-handedly making me the man I want to be. She's salvaging the broken pieces from the wreckage, sifting through the bad and finding the good, loving me despite the fact I'm a mess. Maybe, a little voice in the back of my head chirps—a thought I've been dismissing aggressively before now—maybe I can be good enough for Cassidy. Maybe I can be everything she needs. Maybe I can be her dream as much as she's always been mine.