29. Cassidy

Sun beaming in through the frosty window wakes me up from the best dream. Until I look around, seeing the forest-green quilt barely covering Chase's naked body and the glowing red embers and small flames crackling in the fireplace. This is the dream. A fairy tale. Nothing that happened last night feels real—like a blurry, pieced-together memory after a night of drinking.

I fell in love with him.

As easily as the snow fell around us last night. Not falling so much as floating, swirling around before settling in like a comfortable blanket over everything. Despite how long I spent drifting, loving him was as inevitable as the January snow.

Standing up, I snag a spare blanket and wrap it around myself for the five paces to the bathroom. On the way back, I wedge a log into the fire, waiting until it ignites before spinning to face the bed. Chase is propped up on his elbow, watching me with a tilted head. Wearing a crooked smile and glazed, sleepy eyes as he pats the bed. I pad across the wooden floor, plunking onto the mattress and falling against his chest with pure contentment.

"This is the warmest and coziest I think I've ever been." I nestle into the crook of his arm, wrapped in warm sheets and topped with the weight of a handmade quilt. "Let's never leave, deal?"

"So the reason you're normally pissy in the morning is because you're cold? You're somethin' else."

"Definitely has nothing to do with the fact that you're usually waking me up at four in the morning." I relax further into him, turning to putty as his knuckles stroke my thigh.

"I told you I'd slip out. You even gave me a key to lock the door behind me," he says. "It was your choice to wake up with me."

"Cause it feels like a booty call when you're trying to sneak away before I wake up."

"I came over, fucked you, and left first thing in the morning. That's a booty call." He laughs under his breath. "Thank God you've finally figured out what I've known all along."

"Oh, yeah?" I look up at him, and his lips brush against my forehead. "What's that?"

"You're mine. From the second you spread those gorgeous legs on the hood of that car, you were mine."

"Boy, somebody sure is cocky for"—I pick up my phone and squint at the time—"seven o'clock in the morning. You don't own me. I'm not an object."

"Still mine." The muscles in his arms flex around my chest, squeezing until my breathing becomes wheezy and I'm tapping out. My hand smacks against the scarred skin next to his elbow—remnants of a twenty-year-old wound nobody bothered to care for properly. Every time I think about his past, I want to smother him with kisses and find a way to mend his heart. After last night, at least I'm finally able to do the first one. I kiss his cheek, the rough stubble on his jaw, his soft lips, the hard ridge of his nose, his forehead. Neck, chest, shoulder, clavicle, ear. I don't stop until he's laughing and repeatedly asking what the hell is wrong with me.

"Bring back grumpy morning Cass. At least I know what to do with her. You're in too good of a mood this morning." His moistened lips leave a trail of sleepy kisses down my neck and across my collarbone.

"I just…" love you?

My stomach thunders through the room, cutting me off before I say something big and scary.

"I said I want grumpy Cass, not hangry Cass. I need to feed you and Little Spud before you turn feral." He's quiet and perfectly still for a moment, his lips hovering above my skin. Either he's deep in thought or he just malfunctioned. "Um. Problem. Either we go to town, we eat whatever random shit we find in the bunkhouse, or… we go to the big house." A small ripple of wrinkles forms on the bridge of his nose as he says the last words.

"I'm not responsible for the troll I'll turn into if I can't eat anything until we get back to Wells Canyon. What exactly is the ‘big house' and why did your tone make it sound daunting?"

"It's Jackson and Kate's house, technically. But it's more of a general hang out for everyone. At minimum, Kate, Cecily, and Beryl will be there. Good chance of seeing Austin, too. And God knows who else."

The wind's knocked out of me. Seeing everyone makes this real. Makes us real. "Oh."

"I know you said you were open to dinner here a while back, but making you deal with them first thing in the morning isn't exactly the same. I think there's probably some cereal or Pop-Tartsor something at the bunkhouse, and I doubt anybody is there."

"The big house has real food?"

"Yeah. Maybe not full-on breakfast, but there's always pastries, bread, fruit…"

"You had me at ‘yeah'." I sit up and reach for my clothes. As uncomfortable as it may be, I want to show him that the hiding and booty calls are over. I'm choosing him. "Let's go."

It was easy to forget how cold it is outside when I was surrounded by the dry wood heat. Holy shit, is it ever cold out. My nostrils stick together with every inhale, but I don't dare breathe through my mouth because the icy air hurts my lungs. The big house seems so much farther away on foot than it did when I drove by last night, and I clasp Chase's large hand with both of mine to maintain balance on the icy pathway.

Covered in snow and timeless Christmas decor, the massive, white farmhouse is something plucked from a Home Garden magazine.

"God, this is my dream home," I say.

"Noted." Chase squeezes my hand.

We climb the front porch steps, and I can so easily picture summer nights sipping a glass of wine right here. Overlooking barns and fields and…

Never mind. Now I'm envisioning spending winter nights inside. Chase opens the door and we're greeted by the scent of fresh bread and coffee. The foyer's warm and, despite never having been here, it feels like home. Inviting and clean and so immaculately decorated with gorgeous antique pieces. Peeking into what appears to be the living room, I see oversized armchairs littered with blankets next to a roaring fireplace. That's exactly where I would spend every cozy, wintry night.

Following the lilting sound of voices, we traipse down the long hallway with photo gallery walls and step into the expansive kitchen. As someone whose cooking expertise doesn't extend beyond a grilled cheese sandwich, I can't say I've ever dreamed about a kitchen. But, if I did, this would be it.

"Mornin'," Chase announces our presence.

Cecily and Kate, as well as an older woman—Beryl, I assume—turn to look our way. News of me being here must've travelled fast this morning because none of them seem surprised by my presence. Austin looks up from his magazine for only enough time to give a gentle nod. And at the far end of the table, Odessa and Rhett are armpit deep in playdough.

"Hi." I give a meek smile. Maybe I was invisible before I spoke. My little voice is all it takes for the room to explode with so much energy I grab Chase's arm on impulse, as if the shockwave from their collective excitement might blow me over.

"Come sit down." Cecily wipes her hands on a tea towel and points to the dining table. "Are you hungry?"

"Do you want coffee? Tea? Water?" The grey-haired, tanned-skin woman putters toward a cupboard, looking back at me the entire time.

"Oh, um. Coffee would be perfect. Thank you." I walk toward Cecily and the empty chair she seems to be holding out for me. And by the time I've sat down, a plate heaped with food is in front of me. Followed not long after by a large, white mug full of coffee. "Wow. I could've made my own plate… thanks."

"If you're not careful, these three will keep cramming food into your face." Chase sits down next to me and rests his hand on my thigh, filling my chest with butterflies. We're really doing this thing. It's possible nobody can even see his hand under the table, but it feels like a public declaration.

"Oh, shush." The old woman sits down opposite us, flanked by Cecily and Kate. It seems a lot like the start of an interrogation. Austin even lowers his magazine to side-eye them before shaking his head and returning to whatever he's reading.

"I'm Beryl." She confirms my suspicions with a warm smile that crinkles the skin around her eyes. "So thrilled you finally came out here. I've been hearing non-stop about you for months, honey."

"We're all excited you finally came here." Cecily beams brightly at me. She and Austin aren't exactly regulars at the bar, but they've come by enough times for us to be familiar with one another. "And thrilled you two are…" She trails off, sipping her coffee and flicking her wrist to gesture at the two of us.

"How are you feeling?" Kate leans in. "You know when I gave you my number I honestly meant you could text me anytime."

"Um, I'm feeling pretty good. I mean, there's a lot of joint pain and—oooph." A small body crashes into me with a hug. Glancing down, I see Odessa in a futile attempt to wrap her arms around me in a hug, and not for lack of trying as she smooshes and stretches to reach.

"God, I don't miss being so uncomfortable all the time," Kate says.

Odessa's climbing right onto my lap now, nudging Chase's hand away with her bony knee. Staring into my soul from barely an inch away, her head blocks the three women from my view. So close I can smell the Cheerios on her breath.

"The baby is still in your belly?" she asks, clearly shocked I'm still pregnant so long after seeing her at the Winter Fair.

I nod slowly, trying to back my head away from her as much as I can. I hoped it would be easier to connect with her this time—it's not. For the love of God, I hope Chase was right and I won't feel so uncomfortable with our baby. That the maternal instincts will kick in. Chase taps my foot and, when our eyes make contact, he gives a small wink like he can read my mind.

I clear my throat and look at Odessa. "Yeah, she is. For a few more weeks."

"You're having a girl?" Odessa shrieks, eyes bulging with excitement as she bounces slightly on my lap. "I get to have a girl cousin?"

"You do. That's pretty fun, hey? You'll have to teach her everything you know."

"I'm going to be a bull rider when I grow up, and I can teach her how. I'm really good at riding on cows—except when I fall off sometimes. But then I get a cast on my arm, and I'm allowed to draw on it." She beams at me like breaking her arm is the biggest thrill of her life.

"Maybe we don't teach your little cousin everything you know." Kate pinches the bridge of her nose, biting back a smile.

"You can probably teach Uncle Denny how to ride," Chase says. "He falls off all the time."

Her tiny face scrunches with disgust. "He's not cool enough to ride cows. Just horses."

"Oh, I can't wait to tell him you said that. You're gonna get a whoopin'." Chase grins, and Odessa leaps from my lap with a squeal. Not fast enough, though. He loops an arm around her waist and hauls her into his lap. Tickling her stomach and mussing up her hair, which elicits more high-pitched squeals. Rhett, who's been playing politely with the playdough until this point, screams in harmony with his big sister.

Chase stands up, slinging Odessa over his shoulder and scooping Rhett up with his free hand. They spin in circles around the kitchen, Odessa's curly brown hair flying in every direction, and laughter filling the room. Somewhere in the distance, I can faintly make out muffled voices as the other women chat. But my focus is entirely on him.

I wish he could see himself now—he's nothing like his father.

While all of this might've started as a mistake, it's far from that now. Didn't expect to hook up with an obnoxious cowboy at a rodeo and end up falling in love with the man I'm having a baby with. But here we are. And I'm so glad it's him.

I'm so lost in my own world, I miss the conversation entirely. Although, it's apparently reverted back to me because all three women sit quietly. Watching me expectantly for the answer to a question I didn't hear.

"Sorry, I missed what you said." My eyebrows pull together as I fight to keep my gaze from shifting back to Chase and the kids.

"Oh, we were talking about setting up a food train for when the baby's born. The last thing you want is to be worrying about cooking for yourself with a newborn," Cecily says while the other two eagerly nod. Chase snorts, clearly finding the humour in them suggesting I would bother to cook for myself.

"And are you having a baby shower?" Kate asks. "What sort of things do you still need to get? I have a ton of stuff I can give you. There's basically an entire baby store set up in the attic. Honestly, take everything you need."

"Wow, thank you. That's super generous." I pick at the plate in front of me. "Um, I don't think I'm having a shower. My best friend can't get here until right around when I'm due, so maybe we'll do something small after. I'm not sure… Anyway, I think I have most of the essentials, so it's not really necessary. And my dad and I set up a nursery." I reach my hand under the table, resting it on Chase's knee as he sits back down.

"You did?" He turns to look at me, the hurt that flashes across his face making my chest ache.

"Yeah." I gnaw the inside of my cheek, pushing hashbrowns around on my plate. "Sorry."

"Anyway." Beryl's chair scrapes across the hardwood, cutting the tension. "We have a lot of bread to get baking. I'm glad I finally got to meet the girl who's stolen our sweet Red's heart. He's a good boy."

"The goodest—and the prettiest—boy." I squeeze his thigh just in time to feel his phone start vibrating in his pocket.

He pulls it out and walks away to answer. Then returns a few minutes later and places a rough kiss on top of my head. Definitely out in the open now. "Jackson's having issues with a tractor and he's out by the North Creek field. I gotta grab some parts and go give him a hand. Are you good to stay here?"

"I should head home. Change into some clean clothes, take my meds… that stuff." Not a single part of me wants to leave him, or even wear clothes, period. But this is the life of a ranch hand, I guess. Even when it's supposed to be his day off, duty calls.

"Come back? I'll make us dinner and, besides, I still haven't given you your Christmas present."

My face and shoulders fall in unison. It's Saturday. "I have to work tonight."

"Shit, right." He scrubs his jaw with the palm of his hand. "Okay… um…"

"We'll figure it out. Go do your work."

"I'm sorry about this. Text me when you get home."

He starts to walk away, but I grab his hand, tugging him back toward me. My palm races up the length of his arm, holding to the back of his neck and pulling him in for a slow kiss that causes my heart to skip a beat. I hope everyone is watching and, more importantly, I hope Chase can tell what I'm feeling, even if I'm too nervous to say it out loud.

Cass: Home, safe and sound. And going to take a bath in a very lonely tub

Chase: About to quit my job so I never have to miss out on seeing you naked

Cass: Or you can have the best of both worlds

Without a second thought, I snap a photo of my naked upper body. To be honest, that's the one thing that's working in my favour these days; if nothing else, my tits are the fullest and perkiest they've ever been. He replies instantly with a string of various emojis to depict all the emotions he's clearly going through, followed by the words, "Cass, you're my fucking dream girl." And I melt into the warm bath.

I've never been the type to send nudes, but having somebody genuinely appreciate them—appreciate me—has me rethinking my stance.

Before I reply with words I won't be able to take back, I call Blair. My mind's flooded, and I need somebody who can help me wade through it.

She picks up on the first ring. "Psychic twin powers strike again. I was just about to call you. Phone in hand and everything."

"What's up?" I ask, pulling a cluster of bubbles over my breast and thinking about Chase's hand there last night.

"You go first since you beat me to the phone call."

"I'm in love with Chase." The words flow from my tongue so easily it's astonishing to think this is the first time I've said it out loud.

Blair cackles. "No shit—I knew that months ago. What made you suddenly realize it, though?"

"Technically, I think I realized it when I visited you at Christmas time. I've never felt this way before, and I was freaking the fuck out. Last night Denny texted me." I've said his name thousands of times, but not to Blair. That's one topic we never discuss. "Um… he was worried. Apparently Chase's dad is sick, and he's been acting off or something. I couldn't sit at home worrying, so I went to the ranch, and it cleared a lot up for me. Mostly that I've been stupid."

"I'm glad you finally realized it, dummy. I guess if I have to give up my co-parent status to anybody, I'm content with it being him. I know I haven't actually seen the two of you together, but you're good for each other. I can tell. What's your plan with your dad, though?"

I groan, sinking deeper into the bath until bubbles line my chin like a beard. "I'm going to tell him the three of us need to have dinner and talk, so… pray for me."

"Thoughts and prayers." She laughs. "Any other news you need to share?"

"No, just something that apparently wasn't actually new or shocking information to anyone except me. Your turn."

"Well… as much as I love hearing you and Red worked things out, I still expect to share in some of the co-parenting benefits. I get first dibs on babysitting for all your date nights, and I'm coming over for newborn snuggles anytime I want." She clears her throat, and the sound of her fingers tapping a drum roll comes clear across the line. I have no idea what the hell she's on about, and my lungs fail to function as I wait for her to finish the train of thought. "Because I'm moving back to Wells Canyon."

My entire body jolts, a lightning strike of adrenaline buzzing under my skin. "Oh, my God. You are? What? Why? When? You swore you'd never come back here."

"Yeah, well…. That was before Mom's diagnosis." Shit. Of course. "Dad can't do it all by himself. My sister is going through it with Jonas right now—her hands are so full, I doubt she'd be much help with Mom. So I reached out to Dr. Brickham, and he was ecstatic to be able to offload some of his patients. Maybe start slowly retiring."

Dr. Brickham has been the only doctor in Wells Canyon for longer than I've been alive. He's ancient and crotchety and makes house calls in a beat-up old pickup truck. My first memory of him is from when I was about five-years-old; I ate the cheesiest poutine of my life while watching him fix a guy's dislocated shoulder in the middle of the bar.

"He has to be close to two-hundred-years-old now. It's about time his immortal, ghoulish self retires."

"Yeah," Blair sighs. As excited as I am for my best friend to come back, I know how torn she must be. The one thing worse than dealing with feeling stuck here like I've been for the last thirteen years, is finally getting out of the small town you were born and raised in, only to be forced back to care for your sick mother. If I wasn't going to have a baby to take care of soon, I'd be packing my bags and moving into the Hart's home so Blair didn't have to.

"When are you moving?"

"I gave my notice at the hospital for the end of February. So… first week of March." Her voice perks up a bit. "At least I won't have to miss a single moment of my niece's life. Honestly, getting to see her all the time makes the thought of moving back hurt a lot less. So thank you for getting knocked up."

"Glad my messy situation is helping with yours. Shit, I wish I could help you move but… for obvious reasons, that's a no go."

"It's all good. Whit and Dad offered to help, and it's not like I need to bring a lot to move back into my childhood bedroom."

"I'm sorry, Blair."

"Is what it is. As much as I love my life here, I need to be there for my parents. I want to spend time with Mom while I can… and Dad refuses to admit he needs help, but he does."

"Selfishly, I can't wait to have you around. I know this isn't at all what you wanted for your life, but maybe it'll turn out to be a good decision. Lord knows we need some better medical care around this place."

She laughs under her breath. "What? You have a problem with Brickham doing sutures out in the hay field?"

"Prime example of why my doctor is in Sheridan. That crypt keeper isn't welcome near my vagina or my baby."

"She's the size of a pineapple now, by the way."

I jokingly dry heave. "We've officially reached the point where the size references are so big it makes me terrified knowing she has to come out one way or the other. Stop."

Blair cackles. "Girl, a pineapple is nothing. Just wait."