30. Freddie

FREDDIE

NOW – JUNIOR YEAR – MAY

T hat night after Moe’s feels like a lifetime ago now. A week of Alex dodging my texts, claiming she had some stomach bug. Which might’ve been believable if my co-worker hadn’t let it slip that they’d seen Alex at the gym yesterday, looking perfectly healthy.

So here we are, poster day. The room is buzzing like a hive of bees, students swarming around their projects. I adjust our poster for the millionth time, step back, and frown. It still looks fucking crooked. I try again, but I can’t seem to get it right. I huff a sigh, and Alex glares at me.

Alex is standing next to me, looking like a corporate wet dream in her crisp white blouse and tailored slacks. Her hair’s pulled back tighter than a facelift, and I catch myself staring at the curve of her neck like a horny vampire. But her Ice Queen routine isn’t letting me daydream for very long.

“And that’s how our filtration system would work,” she explains to some wide-eyed freshman, her voice about as warm as a mortician’s handshake. As the kid scurries off, I try to catch her eye.

“Nice explanation,” I offer gently, feeling like I’m trying to pet a pissed-off cat. “You really explained it well, dumbed it down for the masses.”

She barely glances at me. “Thanks.”

She immediately turns to the next student who’s eyeing our poster.

This routine goes on for another hour. Alex is answering questions like a fucking genius, but it’s like I’m the ghost of projects past. When I try to chime in, she talks over me or redirects.

As the crowd finally thins out, I can’t take it anymore. I grab her elbow, feeling like I’m poking a bear. “Alex,” I mutter. “What the fuck is going on?”

She blinks, her professional mask slipping for a microsecond. “What do you mean?”

“Come on. You’ve been cold to me all day. Did I do something?”

Alex’s eyes dart around the room, landing anywhere but on me. “This isn’t the time or place, Freddie.”

“When is the time? Because you’ve been avoiding me like I’ve got the plague for days.”

She sighs, her shoulders slumping. For a moment, I see a flicker of the Alex I know—vulnerable, conflicted. But it’s gone before I can say anything else.

“Fine,” she snaps. “You want to do this now? Let’s go. We can take our lunch.”

She slaps a “back soon” sign on our desk. Without waiting for a response, she marches toward the exit, ponytail swinging like a metronome of anger. I sort of feel like I’m walking to my own execution.

We end up in our lab. The familiar smells of chemicals and coffee invade my nose. Right now, it feels nauseating. Alex whirls to face me, her eyes blazing.

“How long were you going to keep it a secret?” Her voice shakes with something worse than anger.

I freeze. Fuck. “Keep what secret?”

“Don’t play dumb, Freddie.” Her eyes are bright with unshed tears. “I heard you with Dr. Reeves. EcoTech? Really?”

My stomach drops through the floor. “Alex, I can explain. The position is in environmental consulting?—”

“EcoTech?” Her voice cracks on the name, and something in her eyes makes my blood run cold. “Do you even know what they did? What they’re responsible for?”

I open my mouth to respond, but she’s on a roll now.

“They hired a shitty company for their Montana operations. Didn’t bother to check their safety record, their environmental protocols. Nothing. Just went with the lowest bid.” Her voice is shaking.

Oh god. No.

“They didn’t even check their safety protocols,” her voice cracks. “Just handed over toxic mine waste to people who had no idea how to handle it. And when the containment failed, when it leaked into the groundwater, they covered it up for months.” Her hands are shaking. “Emma was drinking that water, Freddie. She was drinking it every day, and they knew.”

I feel like I’m going to be sick. “Alex, I didn’t?—”

“But you’re different, right?” She cuts me off. “You’ll change things from the inside? That’s what they all say, Freddie. That’s what every suit who testified at the inquiry said. ‘We’re doing better now. We’ve improved our protocols.’“

“The consulting division is different,” I hear myself say, the words tasting like ash. “It’s about restoration, about fixing?—”

“Fixing what they broke?” Her eyes meet mine, and fuck, I’ve never seen her look at me like that. “Tell me something—how much is your soul worth? Because EcoTech’s starting salary must be pretty good.”

“That’s not fair, Lex.” My voice comes out rough.

She huffs and looks out the window.

“You’re doing it again,” I snap, anger finally bubbling over. “Making everything black and white. Good guys and bad guys.”

“When it comes to EcoTech? Yeah, it is that simple.”

“Nothing is that simple!” My voice rises. “You think I don’t care about what happened to Emma? That I don’t understand how fucked up it is? But you’re not even listening?—”

“I’m not listening?” She whirls on me. “That’s rich coming from someone who’s been lying to me for weeks!”

“Because I knew you’d react exactly like this! Like I’m some sort of traitor for trying to help my family!” The words tear out of me. “Not all of us can afford to turn down opportunities based on perfect moral principles, Alex. Some of us live in the real world. Stop being so naive.”

She goes still, and fuck, I know I’ve hit a nerve. “The real world?” Her laugh is hollow. “Naive? Is that what you think of me?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“No, I think it’s exactly what you meant. Poor little rich girl Alex, playing at saving the world while Freddie has to face reality, right?”

“Alex, come on. You know that’s not fair.”

“Fair?” Her eyes are alight with fury. “You want to talk about fair? I—” She stops, and her voice goes cold. “Tell me, Freddie, is there anything you actually stand for?”

I feel my own temper flaring. “What was I supposed to do, Alex? Turn down a chance to actually help my family because it doesn’t align with your perfect vision of environmental heroism?”

“Don’t you dare make this about me,” she snaps. “This is about you , Freddie. You lied to me.”

“To make sure my family doesn’t end up on the street!” I shout, my frustration finally boiling over. “Not all of us have the luxury of turning down good job offers for the sake of idealism, Alex. Some of us have real-world problems to deal with.”

She laughs with no soul behind it.

“Real-world problems?” she hisses. “You think I don’t understand real-world problems? Just because my parents have money doesn’t mean I’ve never faced hardship, Freddie. You don’t know everything about me.” She looks me dead on. “Tell me something—have you even looked for other jobs? Or did you just jump at the first big paycheck that came your way?”

The question hits like a punch because... fuck. She’s right. I haven’t.

“There are other companies, Freddie. Good ones. Ones that don’t have blood on their hands.” Her voice catches.

For a moment, her words hit home. I haven’t looked anywhere else. Haven’t even tried. But the thought of waiting, of watching Mom work double shifts while I search for the perfect ethical job... I don’t have the luxury of looking around and waiting. And Alex is acting like I’m the devil in disguise when I haven’t even accepted the job. Heck, I only just found out after the poster session that I’d been shortlisted and had a good chance of getting it.

“You don’t care about anything, do you?” Alex’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “It’s all just a game to you.”

Something in me snaps. “How fucking dare you.” My voice comes out dangerous, barely controlled. “You have no idea what I’m dealing with.”

“Don’t I?”

“No, you don’t.” The words pour out like poison. “You want to talk about caring? Fine. Let’s talk about it. You can’t bring Emma back, Alex.”

The moment it leaves my mouth, I know I’ve gone too far. She stumbles back like I’ve hit her, all the color draining from her face.

But I can’t stop. Won’t stop. “Emma’s gone. And yeah, it’s fucking tragic and unfair and wrong. But my family? They’re here. They’re alive . And they need help now, not some symbolic victory against corporate America.”

“How could you?” Her voice shakes. “How could you use Emma like that?”

“Because someone needs to say it!” I’m practically shouting now. “You’re so caught up in fighting the good fight that you can’t see what’s right in front of you. My dad can barely work. Mom’s killing herself with extra shifts. Meg’s talking about giving up college to stay home and help them out. But I guess that doesn’t fit into your crusade, does it? So fuck you for accusing me of not caring just because I’m not living up to your impossibly high standards! You can’t bring her back, Alex.”

Alex stares at me, shock and hurt warring on her face. “How…how could you?” she whispers, her voice trembling.

“Because it’s the truth,” I say, my anger deflating, leaving me feeling hollow. “My real, living family needs me. And if that means taking a job you don’t approve of, then so be it.”

The silence that follows feels like a living thing. Part of me wants to take it all back. But another part, the part that’s been struggling with this decision for weeks, feels a twisted sense of relief at finally saying it out loud. Alex looks at me like she’s seeing a stranger, and maybe she is. Maybe this is who I’ve always been — the guy who’ll do whatever it takes to protect his family, even if it means becoming the villain in someone else’s story.

Before either of us can say anything more, a smooth voice interrupts us.

“I hope I’m not interrupting?”

We spin around to find Dr. Reeves in the doorway, wearing that snake-oil salesman smile that never reaches his eyes.

“Dr. Reeves,” I manage, my voice embarrassingly rough. Fuck. “Just discussing our project.”

“Indeed.” His gaze slides between us like oil on water. “Quite the... passionate discussion.”

Alex straightens beside me, switching to her perfect-student mask despite the storm I can still see in her eyes. “Ironing out some details, sir.”

“Of course.” He steps into our space like he owns it. “Your presentation and poster have both impressed the students and staff. Including myself. Quite the... innovative approach to rehabilitation.”

“Thank you, sir,” Alex mutters.

His smile sharpens as he turns to me. “Speaking of innovation, Freddie — given any thought to our discussion?”

Alex goes absolutely still beside me. I can feel her eyes burning into me, but I keep mine locked on Reeves. “Yes, sir. Still... considering everything carefully.”

“Excellent.” He practically purrs the word. “It’s quite the opportunity. Not many students get to make a real impact so early in their careers.”

The emphasis he puts on ‘real impact’ might as well be a knife between my ribs. The air feels electric with tension.

“Well,” he continues, playing oblivious like the practiced bastard he is, “I’ll let you get back to your... discussion. Looking forward to grilling you on your poster when you’re back out there.”

The silence after he leaves feels like it could suffocate us both. I turn to Alex, my heart in my throat.

“Alex—”

She holds up a hand. “Don’t.” Her voice could freeze hell. “Here’s what’s going to happen. We’ll finish this project because we have to. We’ll be professional, we’ll get our grade, and then we’re done. No friends, no...” she falters for just a second, “...nothing else. After that, lose my number.”

She gathers her things with mechanical precision, not looking at me. At the door, she pauses. “Congratulations, Freddie.”