42. Ryan

Chapter 42

Ryan

After I clean her up, Kayla lies sideways across the bed, staring up at me with her head on my stomach. With my eyes closed, I stroke one hand through her hair, and let the fingers on my other hand weave in and out of hers. I can’t imagine life in any other world would be better than this.

“Ryan?” she whispers.

“Yeah, baby?”

“What’s wrong with us?”

My eyes snap open. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that was the hottest thing we’ve ever done and what does it mean when I get off on you breaking into my bedroom, and you get off on me telling you shit I’ve done with other guys.”

I sit back against the headboard and pull her up until she’s laying in my arms, her cheek pressed to my chest.

“There’s nothing wrong with us, Kayla. We're just two filthy freaks who shouldn't be living on opposite sides of the world. What are you feeling?”

“Shame, I guess.”

“You don’t need to feel ashamed or guilty or embarrassed or anything negative at all, babe. Everything you like is good, and I’m into it too. I’d tell you if I wasn’t, and you know you can change your mind any time. ”

I lose track of time staring at her, stroking her loose strands of hair away from her face.

“We’re not like other couples,” I tell her. “I've never been like this with other people.”

“No, I’m not either,” she sighs.

“Well, I’m honoured to be the man who gets to see all the sides of you. The inside, the outside. The backside.” I reach down and give it a playful smack, hoping it doesn’t hurt after the rougher ones from earlier. “Especially fond of that side.”

“You came early,” she whispers, stroking my face as if she’s checking I’m really here.

“Yeah, well, once you’ve travelled halfway across the world to see someone, it seemed stupid to stop only three hours away.”

She hums softly and flutters her eyes closed. I wrap my arms a little tighter and pull the blankets up over us. It’s a warm night, but I’ve always loved being cocooned with her.

“It was like my body knew you were closer than usual. I couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t sit still. Couldn’t eat or think about anything except how much I wanted to be here with you.”

“That’s almost romantic,” she laughs.

“Hey, I can be romantic.”

“Sure, I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Oh, you’ll believe it. You’re getting non-stop, 24/7 romance for the rest of this trip. Starting now.”

“I don’t know if I can have sex again yet,” she winces. “That was fucking intense.”

“I was not talking about sex. That’s on you, dirty girl.” I press a kiss to her forehead and peel back the covers. “Go open the front part of my backpack. ”

She climbs off of me and pads across the floor, bending to unzip my bag. Inside I've stashed three packs of Red Vines, the candy she got immediately hooked on when she came to visit.

“Oh my God,” she squeals, clutching them to her chest. “I love you so much.”

Her back snaps up straight, eyes widening as they lock with mine. We’ve never said those words before, and to hear it tumble out, raw and unfiltered, is fucking incredible.

“You’re welcome.”

I’m dying to say it back, but not like this. I will soon though, and I know the perfect spot for a declaration.