9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

Remington

Joy’s Elbow Room was everything I thought it’d be when I was a kid peeking through the gritty windows from the sidewalk. Flickering neon beer signs on the walls, rustic wood tables clustered in the center, a long, curved bar taking up two walls. A few two-seater booths were tucked away, their burgundy vinyl seats clean yet worn. Two pool tables in the back surrounded by a few high-top tables, already filled with women who’d put in a lot of effort to make themselves look special from head to toe and men who looked like they’d come straight from a hard day on a ranch.

I scanned the flannel shirts and scruffy beards, landing on Caleb Kelly pretty quickly. His height made him hard to miss. That, and he was beelining toward me.

He stopped when we were almost toe to toe, brows dipping like thunderbolts. I braced to take a hit or a verbal smackdown. What I hadn’t been ready for was him wrapping his huge arms around me in an embrace.

“Missed the hell out of you, Town,” he gruffed next to my head. “Pissed as hell at you but missed you all the same.”

The hug was over as quickly as it had started. When he released me from his stronghold, I stumbled back a step, and he caught my shoulder in his wide mitt, steadying me without a word.

“Got us a table. Come on.” He turned and walked away like nothing had happened. If my ribs hadn’t been slightly tweaked from how hard he’d squeezed me, I might’ve believed I’d hallucinated the encounter.

Cay was already seated at the table when I caught up, his body sideways so he could stretch his legs out, one elbow resting on the wood. I pulled out the chair across from him and flipped over the one-page menu, giving myself something to do with my hands.

He glanced at me, sniffed, then took a long pull from his beer. I looked around the place. Even though I’d never been inside, I was comfortable here.

A waitress came by and took my order. Her voice was so soft I barely heard her over the din of conversation and clinking glasses, but she scribbled down my request efficiently and scurried away without another word.

Cay lifted his chin. “That’s Alice. Don’t take it personal if she doesn’t talk to you. She’s shy.”

“Got it.” I nodded a few times, unsure where to go from here. This had been my idea, but the years between us were feeling more like an obstacle than they had this morning. One thing I knew was true: seeing his lively eyes and easy grin, I had missed him too. “It’s good to see you again, Cay. Even if you’re pissed at me, I’m glad I got the chance to see you all grown up. Kinda feels surreal to be in our thirties together.”

“Yeah.” Setting his beer down, he cocked his head to look me over. “Difference is I always expected to be sitting here with you at this age while you knew it was never gonna happen. You could’ve given me some warning. Told me you were leaving. Least I wouldn’t have looked like a fool when I had no answers for all the questions lobbed at me from every direction.”

“I didn’t think I was going to do it until I was on the bus. I kept it to myself in case I didn’t work up the guts to go through with it—and so I wouldn’t be talked out of it.” I rubbed my stubbly jaw and let my hand fall heavily on the table. “You knew I couldn’t breathe here. I told you I wanted to get out of here and see the world. But I don’t know if you ever got it. You were always happy to stay, to do what your dad did, what his dad did—”

“Ah.” He drummed his thick, blunt fingers on his knees. “I understand. You couldn’t talk to me because I didn’t have big, worldly dreams like you, huh? I’m surprised you have the desire to talk to me now, seeing as I’m still here and you captured what you were looking for. The traveling, the fame—”

“Fame was never one of my dreams. And you’re not hearing me, Cay. I don’t look down on you for knowing what you wanted and sticking to that. I admire it. I was always jealous of how damn happy you were here while I was climbing the walls to get out.”

He swallowed down the rest of the beer, and another appeared moments later, almost as if the little quiet waitress had been waiting for him to finish. She delivered mine at the same time, along with our burgers, then essentially ran away as soon as the plates hit the table.

Cay didn’t seem interested in talking. His focus was on his burger, biting into it like he’d been waiting all his life for it. It was like stepping back in time. He’d always eaten like that. I almost laughed but held it in. Didn’t think it’d be appreciated when we were on rocky ground.

So, I ate my burger. It was one of the best I’d had in my life, and the beer that washed it down was even better. I credited the hunger gnawing at my stomach and the fresh Wyoming air.

I wiped my mouth with my napkin and wadded it in my fist. “I try not to hold on to regrets, but I always regretted losing touch with you.”

He swiped the back of his hand over his mouth and nodded. “Makes sense. I was the best friend you ever had. I imagine that still holds true.”

That got a chuckle out of me. “It’s true. I made a fair few friends in my time away, but none like you. I don’t think buddies like us happen in adulthood.”

“Nah, you’re probably right. Gotta have dirt, skinned knees, and boyhood to form that kind of bond. At least, the kind I always thought we had.”

“We had it,” I said with adamance. “Never forgot it, and I missed the hell out of you too. I met a lot of people in my travels, but I haven’t been close to anyone since you. I’m sorry for abandoning our friendship. Sorry for not sharing my plans. I’m even more sorry I lost your number and couldn’t call to tell you all that when I got my head out of my ass.”

He sucked in a deep breath, his broad chest rising toward the ceiling. When he exhaled, he looked at me, calm and unreadable.

“All right.”

I cocked my head. “All right?”

“Yeah. I get it. You had to go. It wasn’t personal. I’m not gonna waste any more time being angry at you. Not about that anyway.”

My mouth twitched. “Appreciate it, but let’s get it all out in the open now. Are you angry at me over something else?”

He polished off his last fry drenched in ketchup. “Can’t say I’m pleased you left my sister to tend to your sick father and take care of everything when he died. Not that she wouldn’t have been there had you shown up. Wild horses couldn’t have dragged her away.”

He folded his thick arms, and I braced for what I knew he was about to ask. “But you should’ve been there. It’s messed up you weren’t. Where were you? Why show up now and not then?”

Unthinking, I reached for the scar on the side of my head, dragging my fingertips over it. Caleb tracked my movements, his eyes narrowing like he was trying to piece together a puzzle dumped in front of him.

I wasn’t going to leave him guessing. He wanted answers, and I owed it to him to give him that. “When I left, I was a kid. In my mind, I was never coming back. I didn’t have the experience to think about what would happen to my dad when he got older. Didn’t consider him getting sick, who might take care of him, none of that. When it comes down to it, I would’ve been here if I could have, Cay.”

He jerked his chin toward my scar. “Your reason has something to do with you looking like shit warmed over?”

I laughed despite the seriousness of the subject. Leave it to Caleb to never pull punches—a trait that ran in their family.

“It has everything to do with it. I was overseas, documenting the coup in—”

Caleb winced. “Yeah. I’ve been watching the news. Ugly stuff going on over there.”

“Right,” I agreed, though there was ugly stuff going on in every corner of the world. It just so happened this coup had been getting the most media attention. “I can’t tell you what exactly happened, just what I was told when I woke up. The vehicle I was in with three other journalists was inadvertently targeted by militia. We took fire, our driver maneuvered to avoid being hit, and we flipped into a ravine. Don’t know how I survived it. Only me and two others made it out. The driver and one of my colleagues died immediately. They didn’t think I’d make it either.”

“ Fuck ,” he gritted out. “Your head took the impact?”

“Among other parts, yeah. I was in a medically induced coma for a week, then spent a month in the hospital after that recovering. I was too out of it to be concerned about where my phone was or anything going on in the outside world.”

His eyes darted around my face, almost frantic. “How are you doing now? Should you have even traveled?”

“Don’t worry about me. My doctor gave me clearance to be here.”

“But you’re not all right, are you?”

“I’m as good as can be, considering I was almost blown up.” I tried to laugh it off, but it sounded forced even to me. Going with the truth was easier. “I’ve been having migraines and some blurred vision, which is common with the level of concussion I sustained. The doctors over there assured me it’d get better with time as long as I don’t reinjure myself.”

He looked at me long and hard then leaned forward, bringing himself closer. “You’re not going back there.”

He said it as a statement, but I answered anyway.

“No, I don’t plan on it. I’m not sure what my next move is, but I use my brain too often to risk fucking it up permanently.”

It killed me to acknowledge that. To give up in the middle of a story was almost unthinkable. I’d never done it, no matter how dire the conditions. But things had changed, and when it came down to it, my choice had been taken from me.

Caleb took this in with a level stare and slow, steady breathing. When he was ready, he spoke again. “You didn’t know Graham was dying.”

“No, I didn’t. By the time I had a new phone and the wherewithal to listen to my messages, he was already gone.” I pressed the heel of my palm into my temple. “I would’ve been here. It wasn’t Hannah’s or anyone else’s burden to take on.”

“She never saw Graham as a burden.”

“Right.” I nodded, even though, to me, that was all he’d been.

“You had different experiences with him,” Caleb explained. “The old man cleaned himself up. Got right with the town, changed Hannah’s life for the better. When I say she didn’t see him as a burden, you need to understand I mean it. Her Graham wasn’t your piece-of-shit dad. He waited until it was too late to change, but he did, Rem. He did.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just sat back and took a long swallow of my beer.

Caleb, who’d been with me all the way to the end, who understood who Graham had been with me, reached out and squeezed my arm.

“Shame he couldn’t get it together for you. I think your leaving was the wake-up call he needed.”

I chuffed. “The irony isn’t lost on me.”

“Yeah.” He took out his phone, swiped the screen for a minute, and passed it over to me. I picked it up, looking at the picture of a little boy with chocolate eyes and shaggy chestnut hair atop a horse. I knew it wasn’t Caleb, but it could’ve been from how much this kid resembled him.

“Yours?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

He nodded. “That’s my boy. Jesse’s ten.”

Two tons of loss downpouring directly on my chest. “Christ. You were twenty-one when you had him?” I glanced at his bare left hand. “You’re not married?”

“Nah. His mom’s a good woman, but we both knew it never would’ve worked. Luckily, we do well co-parenting.”

I shook my head, staring down at the picture of his son. “I should’ve been here for this.”

He chuffed. “Would’ve been nice, but we’re calling it water under the bridge now. You stick around long enough, you can meet him.”

I swallowed hard as I handed the phone back. “That’d be great. I’d like that a lot.”

I turned my head, my eye catching on a woman leaning over the bar, laughing with the bartender. Even from a distance, there was no mistaking Hannah Kelly, her endless, muscular legs encased in worn jeans and all that long, dark hair spilling down her back. It was good seeing her with a smile since she’d been scowling the times I’d seen her.

The smile suited her. It was more natural than the scowl. I hoped she got a lot of use out of it.

While she stood there, a man in a dirty T-shirt and backward cap approached her. She straightened and rotated her body, one elbow on the bar, leaning casually. He was shorter than her despite her not standing at her full height.

As he spoke, her smile dimmed until it was barely there.

Caleb grunted, and I wrenched my focus from Hannah to find he’d been watching the same thing.

“She’s had it rough,” he uttered. “Not just losing Graham. The last guy she was with did her dirty. He was a piece of shit, we all knew it, but he still managed to blindside her.”

My gut clenched in a knot of barbed wire. I tensed, fingers digging into my thighs.

“The guy she’s talking to?” I asked.

“Nah, that’s not him. That guy has been circling around for a few months.”

I raised a brow. “You going to intervene?”

“Nope.” He chuckled. “Han can take care of herself. If I tried, she’d go off with him just to spite me.”

That had me chuckling with him. “You Kellys and your obstinance.”

A commotion drew my attention back to the bar. Dirty Shirt was hopping on one foot while Hannah clapped with delight. Without warning, her eyes flicked up, finding mine. Her teeth dug into her bottom lip, but she couldn’t get rid of her grin.

“What’d I tell you? My sister’s a different kind of beast.”

I snorted, not taking my eyes off the strange scene. “Something tells me she wouldn’t like you calling her a beast.”

“She’s heard it before. Almost broke my nose the last time.”

“She punched you?”

“Worse. She threw an apple at my face.”

“Guess I got off easy with the muffin,” I muttered. Caleb might’ve asked me to repeat myself, but my tongue became useless as Hannah Kelly sauntered over to our table.

She stopped beside her brother, bumping his arm with her hip. “You’re out late, old man.”

He kicked an empty chair out. “Take a load off and tell me what you did to that guy.”

She spun the chair around and straddled it backward, her arms resting on the back. “Who, Mark? All I did was doubt he could sing the national anthem while hopping on one foot. He chose to prove me wrong.”

Caleb shook his head. “And did he?”

She rolled her eyes. “Come on. Do you think he knows the words to the national anthem even in the best circumstances?” She glanced at me. “Some company you’re keeping, by the way.”

“Be nice,” Caleb drawled. “Rem and I had a long talk and settled what we needed to settle. We’re cool.”

She wasn’t facing me, but I didn’t miss the rigidness in her shoulders and press of her fingertips against her arm. Hannah Kelly wasn’t anywhere near my good side, and from the looks of it, she wasn’t too happy her brother had crossed that line with me.

“That’s a choice,” she bit out.

“Yep. You could make the same one.” Caleb was relaxed as ever but kept a watchful eye on his sister. He’d always been protective of his family. But then, he had a good one worth protecting.

“Really think I’ll pass,” she chirped.

“Han…”

“Well, thanks for telling me about your night, Cay, but I have plans.” She did some trick with her legs, rotating her whole body so she was sitting with her back to the table, poised to make hay.

“Oh yeah? What might that be?” Caleb challenged.

The quiet little waitress, Alice, appeared from nowhere with a basket filled with chicken wings and handed them off to Hannah before hurrying away. Hannah lifted the basket up like a prize.

“Tonight’s plans: this basket of wings and a round of pool before I walk myself home and tuck myself into bed.” She hopped up, cradling her wings like a little baby, and ruffled Caleb’s hair with her free hand. “See you around, Cay.”

“Be good, Han,” he called after her.

She waved as she walked away, singing out, “Always am!”

Caleb shook his head and looked at me with pity. “Think that’s going to take some work.”

“You tell no lies,” I agreed.

After a moment, his expression grew serious, thoughtful. “How long are you planning on sticking around?”

I tapped my head. “A while. I don’t have an exact timeframe. I can't risk getting hurt again, and I need to give my brain time to heal.”

“Mmm.” He tossed back a couple fries. “It might be too physical, but if you’re at loose ends, we can always use help at the ranch. The upside is you’ve done it before, and I won’t have to go through the trouble of training you only for you to leave.”

The idea instantly excited me. But Caleb was right; I wasn’t too sure about my physical limitations. Doing a long day of work outside probably wasn’t my doctors’ idea of resting and healing, yet it was impossible to turn him down outright.

“I’ve missed mending fences with you.” I rubbed the scruff on my chin. “I’d probably need to be on light work…”

He chuckled. “I’m not planning on paying you. Whatever you do it’s strictly volunteer.”

That had me laughing. “All right then. I’ll keep you posted.”

He rapped his knuckles on the table. “You do that. Take it easy on my sister while you’re at it—even if she doesn’t take it easy on you.”

I glanced at Hannah. She was in the back of the bar, eating a chicken wing with abandon, a pool cue tucked under her arm. I shifted uncomfortably. This woman had taken on my burdens all alone—whether she recognized them as such or not. It wasn’t fair or right.

“You don’t have to ask. I wouldn’t dream of hurting Hannah.”

“I know you wouldn’t.” I had a second to feel good about his confidence in me despite him only just forgiving me for the hurt I’d caused. It didn’t last when he added, “Not on purpose, anyway.”

That stung, but he wasn’t wrong.

When it was time to leave, I would. That might have meant never seeing Caleb or his family again, but I didn’t belong here, and I wasn’t going to be staying.