Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
I vy could hardly believe what was happening to her. Liam was kissing her, really kissing her, and she was kissing him back! She was swept away by all she was feeling, his mouth so hot and commanding on hers, his hands touching her as they moved over her was like some fantastic and exciting dream which she never wanted to wake up from.
He had lit a fire within her that threatened to consume her. A dizzying rush of delicious new sensations she had never imagined she was capable of feeling swept her away. He was turning her world on its head, and she could not get enough of it!
She let out a low moan as the kiss deepened with a dizzying intensity, as his hands roamed her body freely, she gave into her driving desire, never wanting it to end, wanting more of him, yet somehow knowing it would never be enough.
The kiss lasted for several more minutes before their mouths finally broke apart. They remained close, gazing into each other’s eyes silently for a few moments. Liam stroked her cheek tenderly while she clung to him.
But then something she did not understand happened to break the spell between them. Something abrupt and brutal. A strange expression suddenly appeared on Liam’s handsome face. He stepped back, releasing her from the cage of his body. At once, she missed his heat, the feel of him against her.
“Liam, are ye all right? What is it?” she asked, reaching out a hand to him. He shied away from her touch, leaving her even more confused.
“That should nae have happened,” he said, looking more panicked than she had ever seen him. His reaction puzzled her, and at first, she did not really grasp his words.
“What?” she asked, growing anxious now. “Why are ye sayin’ that? Did ye nae like it? Did I dae somethin’ wrong?”
“Nay, Ivy, Nay, ’tis me who’s done somethin’ wrong. I should never have let this happen. This is a bad mistake,” he muttered, turning away from her, pacing to and fro, running a hand through his hair in obvious distraction.
“A mistake? I-I dinnae understand,” she stuttered, starting to become alarmed by his bizarre behavior. After the passionate kiss they had just shared, she felt broken open and vulnerable. This reaction was inexplicable to her.
“Aye, but it was a mistake, brought on by too much wine and ale,” he told her, his tone impatient. As he turned to look at her, she saw with shock that his face was now a cold mask. “A bad mistake,” he repeated. “Stupid, stupid!”
Ivy’s blood turned cold as the words finally hit her like freezing water dashed in her face. She could not believe what was happening. Only a few brief moments ago, she had been walking on heavenly clouds, happier than she ever thought possible. Now, seconds later, she had seemingly plummeted back down to earth with an almighty bump.
She felt a sensation in her chest, as though her heart were contracting, shriveling up inside her, a small, hurt creature seeking to hide from further hurt. Then came the anger, bubbling up inside her from the depths. She stepped away from the wall, pulled her shoulders back, and lifted her chin.
“Let me get this straight,” she said, stepping into Liam’s path and forcing him to stop pacing and face her. “Did we just kiss or nae?”
“Aye we did. But that’s just it, ye see. We shouldnae have done that!”
“Why nae?”
He raked at his hair again with his hand. “Because… because naethin’ can come of it, Ivy.” His eyes when he looked at her were hard and cold. “This, anythin’ like this, it cannae happen again.”
“But why d’ye call it a mistake?” she asked, angry and deeply hurt. He had evidently not felt what she had.
“Because in this world we live in, the minute ye start tae care fer someone, they’ll be taken from ye. Whether it is a parent, a friend, a spouse. So I’ve sworn tae meself never tae fall in love and marry.”
Light began to dawn in Ivy’s head. Her anger and pain grew so hot, they burned like ice. She felt like screaming at him and attacking him with her fists. But part of her knew there would be no point. Even so, she had to get away from him.
“I’m goin’ tae me chamber,” she told him and turned on her heel, hurrying back the way they had come. As she passed the hall, she hardly noticed the bright light falling on the flagstones from the windows or the music and laughter from the cèilidh that were floating out from inside.
She was so angry and confused as she marched along heading for the keep, that at first, she did not take into account the figure up ahead looking out from behind a tree. But as she approached it, something about the cloaked and hooded figure caught her eye.
“Lady Ivy!” Her name was called in a voice she recognized at once. It sent shivers up her spine. “Lady Ivy, I must speak with ye again.” It was the stranger who had accosted her back in the raided village a few days before. He emerged from behind the tree and came towards her, beckoning to her.
She stopped, staring at him. There was something about his gait that struck her as very familiar. She searched her mind for a reason but could not find one. Despite her deep unease, she decided she needed to hear what he had to say about her parents.
“Ye. What d’ye want with me?” she said coldly.
“Is that any way tae greet one who’s tryin’ tae dae ye a good turn by tellin’ ye some truths?” came the reply. It had a definite edge of malice to it.
“If ye have somethin’ tae say about me parents than hurry up and say it. I dinnae find all this cloak and dagger stuff very amusin’.”
“Would ye find it more so if I told ye that they didnae die in a raid as ye’ve believed all this time?”
Ivy froze to her marrow. “What d’ye mean?” she asked her voice starting to shake.
“I mean that maybe it wasnae a raid by an enemy clan at all. Maybe it was somethin’ else entirely. Part of a larger plan, somethin’ much closer tae home.”
“Tell me now!” Ivy demanded, every nerve in her body telling her to flee. But her desperate need to know if he was telling the truth, and if so, what about exactly, kept her pinned to the spot.
“I cannae talk here,” the man said just a couple came out running and laughing. “Ye must meet me in secrecy if ye wantae ken more.”
Ivy felt she had no choice but to meet him. “All right. Where and when?”
“There’s an abandoned chapel in the woods,” he said and gave her directions of how to get there. “Meet me there at dusk, three nights from now. I must go.”
Ivy shivered as she watched the stranger turn and hurry away, soon disappearing into the darkness of the gardens. The sound of boots on gravel behind her made her turn. She clenched her fists to see Liam walking towards the keep.
“Who was that ye were talkin’ tae?” he asked, appearing at her side and easily keeping pace with her.
“’Tis none of yer business.”
“Of course, ‘tis me business. I’m supposed tae keep ye safe.”
“Well, why d’ye nae keep me safe from ye and bugger off?”
“What were ye talkin’ about tae that stranger in the cloak?”
“I told ye, mind yer business.”
“Ivy, I demand that ye tell me! Ye could be in danger!”
“The only danger I’m in is from ye.”
“I dinnae like it.”
“Oh, dear me, what a shame.”
“Ye shouldnae just go around talkin’ tae strangers willingly.”
“Ye cannae tell me who tae speak tae, Liam,” she replied angrily.
“I bloody well can, and I will!”
“Ach, watch yeresl’, or ye might make another of yer big mistakes,” she riposted cuttingly. Losing patience with his highhanded attitude and still deeply hurt by his behavior over the kiss, she snapped, “Ye can go now. I’m goin’ back tae the chamber. I’m tired.”
“I’ll walk ye back.”
“There’s nay need,” she replied, juts wanting him to leave her alone. “Ye’ve said all ye need tae say.”
Nevertheless, though she refused to say another word to him, he escorted her all the way back to the chamber and bade her to lock the door until he returned.
“And dinnae open it fer anyone else,” he instructed her. She huffed and went inside.
Liam waited in the hall until he heard the key turn in the lock of Ivy’s chamber door. Then he walked away down the hall, intending to go back to the cèilidh, as he had promised Knox he would.
Back in the gardens, after Ivy had left him, he had felt terrible about the way he had treated her. After a few minutes, he had gone after her, wanting a chance to explain himself better and perhaps even apologize. That had been all that was on his mind when he caught sight of her talking to someone.
The matter of what had happened in the gardens between them minutes before was instantly superseded by suspicion and the fear that she could be in danger. He had hurried towards them, but somehow, the hooded man had disappeared before had he got there. He had secretly breathed a sigh of relief that Ivy was safe, even if she hated him at that moment.
As he strode towards the hall, he recalled watching the cloaked figure flee into the shadows as soon as he caught sight of him approaching. Why was he sneaking around in the darkness? Why did he run off so suddenly? Did he have something to hide?
Something about the stranger gnawed at him—a feeling that the man must have had some ulterior motive for engaging in such a secretive way with Ivy. With the way things stood between Knox and McAlister and his crony Hamilton, he could not help but wonder if the stranger could possibly be someone with ties to both sides of the conflict, someone with ties to MacAlister. The thought was deeply alarming. He did not know what he would do now if any harm came to Ivy, even more so, now that the kiss had complicated their relationship.
The cèilidh was still in full swing when he went back into the hall. He was warmly welcomed back by Knox and his other new friends. In an effort to rid himself of his troubling thoughts, he began drinking to match them and ended the evening quite intoxicated, engaging in wrestling matches with first Knox and then Magnus before the night was over.
As soon as she awoke the next morning, Ivy slipped out of the bed and crept over to the connecting door. She opened it quietly and peeked inside Liam’s room. It was empty, and the bed was neatly made. She could not tell if he had even come back and slept there or not.
Her fingers went to her lips and traced the shape of them, the place where his mouth had covered hers and showed her what it was to know passion, lighting a flame inside her with his kiss. Even now, it seemed like a dream.
One which started off beautifully and then turned sour, she thought, recalling how the tender moment had been followed by his slighting words. It disturbed her to acknowledge that even now, they stung. It was a mistake.
With a sigh of despondency, she decided she had better put the whole incident out of her mind. As she washed and dressed and combed her hair, she wondered if this would be the day when her future would finally be decided by the men who controlled her life. How soon before I havetae say goodbye tae Castle Stewart and Liam fer good?
Despite her growing feelings for Liam and the harsh way he had dismissed their encounter, her heart clenched painfully to think of leaving him. She wished she could make him and Laird Stewart understand what they would be sending her back to, knowing she would have to endure her brother’s brutality once again. He would undoubtedly punish her harshly for spoiling his plans. However hard she tried not to think of it, the fear was always with her, ready to seize her at any moment and reduce her to a quivering wreck.
She could not decide which was worse, the prospect of Carson’s cruelty and violence or suffering Gael’s hideous attentions once she was forced to wed him. She pushed down her fears, along with the memory of the kiss, and tried to absorb herself in the task of preparing for the day instead. The best way she knew of distracting herself from her worries was keeping busy. That was why she had arranged to go and assist Effie with her patients in the infirmary that day.
As she prepared to leave the chamber, her mind drifted to her extraordinary meeting with the stranger in the grounds the night before. Even though just thinking about the man made her feel deeply uneasy, she knew she was going to go to the ruins of the chapel in the woods to meet him in two nights.
She resolved to do as he had instructed and tell no one. Especially not Liam. He had hurt her too much for her to confide in him about anything. If he knew, he would just interfere and likely ruin her chances of finding out what more the stranger had to tell her about her parents’ murders.
Shockingly, he had implied their deaths had been part of a larger plan, one that had been formulated close to home and not in some enemy clan’s stronghold, as she had always been led to believe. But what can it all mean? The only way to find out for sure was to follow his instructions to meet him.
In the infirmary, she toiled alongside Effie for hours, immersed in helping to clean and dress wounds, brew tea, treat fevers, and suchlike. But when late afternoon arrived without a sight of Liam, she started to wonder where he was and what was keeping him away. She knew he was very busy with training Knox’s men, but it was still very unusual for him not appear at some point during the day to check up on her.
Eventually, she began to suspect he was avoiding her, and she thought she knew the reason—the kiss. It annoyed her to think so. After all, he had been the one to initiate it, it had been him who had turned her world upside down by sweeping her off her feet with her first ever kiss. She decided that the only thing to do was to go and find him and force him to have it out with him.