Chapter Fourteen

“There you are!” Seb said, as he entered his room. “Why are you never in the same place twice?”

Dodds stared at him. “I didn’t know I had to be. What’s the matter? Did you find the duchess?”

Seb had been in the stables when Dodds had sought him out to tell him that the duchess was wandering in the woods. Seb hadn’t liked the sound of that, worry niggling at him until, despite all the reasons why he shouldn’t, he had set off after her.

“Yes, I found her.” He scrubbed his hands over his face as if to rid himself of something unpleasant. “I also ran into Lady Knowles. She and her husband have just arrived and are staying here.”

“Knowles?” Dodds frowned. “Wasn’t she one of your—”

“Briefly. It ended when I realized Lord Knowles was in the room next door, watching us through a peephole.”

Dodds choked on a laugh, and then desperately tried to make his face sober when he caught Seb’s sour look. “I remember now.”

“I had invited the duchess here tonight, to share supper, but when she realized I knew Lady Knowles in a—a carnal way, she changed her mind.”

“Oh.” Dodds chewed on his lip. “How did she know about you and Lady Knowles?”

Seb sighed. “Effie saw me and greeted me effusively. I don’t think there could be much doubt in Catherine’s mind.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Dodds asked. “This was always only a temporary arrangement with the duchess, that was what you said. This way she won’t get any silly ideas.”

Seb knew Dodds was only repeating what he himself had said. And Effie’s appearance had certainly demolished his fears of Catherine wanting more than he was prepared to give. When she realized what his relationship was with Lady Knowles, her expression had shown contempt and her beautiful eyes had turned cold. “On second thought, I will eat supper with the others in the parlor,” she had said, and walked off, leaving him standing there.

A pity it had happened just then, after he had persuaded her to spend one more night with him. Seb knew he shouldn’t be disappointed. He should just shrug his shoulders, as he usually did when a woman flounced off, and put her from his mind. What was so different about this woman that he felt keenly the loss of that promised night? What made it feel so special and so precious that he could never replace it?

He blinked, aware that Dodds was rambling on about Maggie and he hadn’t heard a word. “What was that?”

Dodds patiently repeated himself. “I said, the duchess’ estate isn’t far from Albury House, and I thought...” He examined Seb’s expression and muttered, “I suppose I could go on my own.”

“Why go at all? I thought you were a confirmed bachelor! And no, you can’t go off on a social visit to see your paramour. Once we get to Albury House, we will stay for the bare minimum of time, and then return to London. You remember London, don’t you, Dodds? It is your home and mine. This...” He waved his hand about. “This is the frozen, godforsaken north. Isn’t that what you called it only a few days ago?”

Dodds’ lips turned down and he looked like a sulky child. A bit like Benny when he wanted something and was refused it.

Seb took a steadying breath. He put amusement into his voice to disguise the fact he was seriously concerned. “Are you really so taken with Maggie?” What if Dodds decided to follow Maggie rather than Seb? What if he abandoned Seb? He felt a little dizzy at the thought but reminded himself that, although Dodds’ companionship meant a great deal to him, the man was not irreplaceable.

Dodds had paused, and for a moment Seb thought he was going to deny everything, but then he straightened, his shoulders back, and faced Seb like a man about to enter the boxing ring. “I am,” he said. “She understands me. She allows me my silences and teases me out of my grumps. She doesn’t mind when I’m not always smiling and chatty. She says it’s restful.”

Oh God, he really was smitten. Seb tried a patient tone. “Can you ask her to come to London with us? I could find her a position in my household.” Although what she could do was a mystery to him, but it was a generous offer, and Dodds was aware of it. He seemed to relax a little, the tension going out of his shoulders.

“Thank you very much, sir. I will ask her, but...” That lowered lip again. “She is very loyal to the duchess. She will probably not want to leave her. You know she must remain at Winstanton? For her son’s sake.”

“Winstanton is a big bloody castle,” Seb scoffed. “Hardly a hardship, Dodds. And I’m sure she has plenty of servants, as well as friends and neighbors, with whom to pass the time.”

Even as he spoke he knew it wasn’t true, and wasn’t surprised to see Dodds shaking his head. “Maggie says the old duke didn’t encourage visitors and didn’t like her making friends. Frightened she’d find someone else, I reckon. He guarded her like a dog would a bone. And even though he’s dead he’s still keeping her prisoner, keeping the son hostage. Maggie wishes the duchess would just up and leave, but how can she?”

Seb imagined that depressing prison. He found that the thought of Catherine alone and lonely was almost more than he could bear. He made his voice bracing, telling himself he needed to convince Dodds, but he suspected it was really himself he was trying to convince.

“Maggie is probably exaggerating. A duchess would have the means to ensure she was not lonely.”

Dodds eyed him skeptically.

“Ask Maggie about the London idea and see what she says.”

Dodds nodded and then, to Seb’s relief, changed the subject. “Are you ready to go down to supper, sir?”

He rubbed a hand over his jaw; his facial hair was only a little darker than his hair, but he still liked to shave whenever he went out. “My last supper,” he said with a forced laugh.

Dodds smiled dutifully.

Seb thought about that moment in the wood, when he had watched Catherine standing so still in her long cloak, gazing up at the lattice of branches above her as if she were casting a spell. Or perhaps she had already cast her spell, and it was on him. When she had turned around and noticed him, there had been no smile on her face and no warmth in her dark eyes. None of the sense of welcome he had felt previously. And he found he was sorry for that.

He’d hoped for one more night with her. In his arrogance he was certain he could melt the ice, explain what had happened with Effie Knowles and make her smile again.

“A change of clothing, sir?” Dodds’ voice surprised him. Had his manservant been watching him all this time, reading his thoughts as they crossed his face? The idea made Seb feel uncomfortable.

He washed and changed, dressing in some of his town clothes. Tight pantaloons and a bright waistcoat over his white shirt. He combed his hair back with pomade, and Dodds gave him a close shave, so that his face was smooth to the touch. Afterward he felt more the thing. He might almost be off to some London club, and not out in the middle of nowhere with people he would never see again.

Now the road to the south was open, it was likely that the one to the north would follow by tomorrow. Seb could set off as early as he pleased and make good time to Albury House. He just needed to go. And no, he wasn’t running away...

But he was. He was trying to outrun his confusing and uncomfortable feelings, which for some reason were no longer to be denied. And if he wasn’t very careful he would actually have to take them out and examine them.