Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

H alfway through the night, Gowan was awakened by the sound of the wind howling through the trees and the crash of thunder and the patter of raindrops on the thatch above him. He hated nights like this. As a boy they had always given him nightmares, but now they merely made him wake up with a start. Even so, he became uncomfortably aware of how flimsy his hut was, and how easily it could be damaged.

Presently, however, he heard another sound - the noise of a woman crying out in her sleep, and he looked over to see Minna thrashing around on her thin pallet. He sat up and moved over to her, intending to wake her up, but as he reached out to her she curled into the shelter of his body, and with a soft sigh, she fell asleep again.

For a moment, Gowan was uncertain what to do. Her head was awkwardly trapped between his head and neck, and he was afraid to move in case she thought that he was creeping in beside her to take advantage of her.

Eventually he managed to shift sideways until her head was pillowed on her chest. He tried to lie still, but he could not help himself from wrapping his arms around her. They were completely entwined, pressed against each other from head to foot. At once he was assailed by a rush of feelings. There was the very obvious reaction of a man to a woman's body, which he felt as a sudden stiffening of his shaft, but that was not all. However, there was something else.

A sudden wave of tenderness washed over him; she felt so right in his arms. Her body was so soft, so pliant and so warm. Every part of her fitted snugly into every part of him, and it was glorious. It had been so long since he had held a woman in his arms that the sensation almost overwhelmed him. He looked at her full, tempting lips, so close to his that he had to use all his willpower to resist the impulse to kiss her. Her lashes were long and dark, and he could see by the flickering light of the one candle in the small room that she was dreaming. It must have been a vivid one, since he could see the swift movements of her eyes from side to side under her eyelids. He wished he could see what she was seeing.

She smiled and gave a soft chuckle, and this made Gowan want to laugh too, although he stifled the urge in case she should wake. She turned and snuggled further into his embrace, giving a little sigh of satisfaction, then draped her leg over him. It was a long time before he surrendered to sleep, but it was the deepest, most undisturbed sleep he had had for a long time. Holding a warm woman in his arms, even on an earthen floor, was much, much better than sleeping alone.

Minna was dreaming. She was wrapped in something soft and warm, but at the same time she knew that it was strong, and she felt safe and protected. She opened her eyes, and for a moment, nothing made sense. Her cheek was resting against something that felt like wool, but was hard underneath. It was rising and falling in a steady rhythm, and she could hear the steady thud of - a heartbeat?

She leaned on her elbow and looked around to get her bearings, and that was when she found out that she was pillowed on the chest of Gowan Hepburn, and it was his heartbeat she could hear. Minna felt a flash of indignation; he had said he would not take advantage of her, after all! Then she realized that she was untouched, her clothes were not disturbed, and she was in a very comfortable place indeed. Gowan's chest was solid, firm and muscular, yet it made an excellent pillow.

She studied him closely, noting his high, sloping cheekbones and square jaw, which was already sporting the first golden bristles of a new day's growth of beard. She wondered why he had not grown one. Since no-one ever saw him, what difference did it make if he was clean-shaven or not, and what did he use to shave with?

Her gaze drifted to his slightly aquiline nose and the golden eyelashes that rested on his cheeks. His brows were arched like the wings of a bird, and she knew that when he opened his eyes she would be staring into eyes the color of chocolate.

She wondered for the hundredth time how such a fair man could have such dark eyes. Then inevitably, she came to his lips, the sight of which made her feel strangely hot and moist in her secret place. He was simply beautiful, and his scar enhanced his beauty in a strange way, contrasting with the perfection of the rest of him. She was about to lay her head on Gowan's chest again when he opened his eyes and stared straight into hers.

At first he looked confused, then he remembered the events of the night before and gave her a tentative smile. "Did you hear the storm?" he asked.

"I thought I had dreamed it," Minna answered, surprised.

"You seemed to be in distress, but I did not embrace you," he told her. "You came to me all by yourself, but you calmed down when I held you. Rest assured I have done nothing inappropriate."

"I believe you," Minna smiled at him, but could not tear her gaze away from his dark eyes.

Suddenly, his full lips were on hers. At first, she was too surprised to move, then she realized what was happening, and after a moment of hesitation, she gave herself up to them wholeheartedly. She had never felt anything like the soft but firm pressure of the lips that caressed hers with such assurance.

When Gowan pushed his tongue gently into her mouth to taste her, then rolled over so that she was half pinned underneath him, Minna clung to him desperately. She had never been kissed properly by a man before, and it was quite the most glorious thing she had ever felt.

She began to imitate him, stroking his tongue with hers, and heard him grunt with satisfaction. He started to rub his hips against her and she felt something hard pressing against the part of her that was moist and throbbing.

Presently he lifted his head and looked down at her, studying her face minutely, taking in the blue of her eyes and noticing the flecks of green in them for the first time. "You are so lovely," he said hoarsely. "I am sorry - I should not have kissed you that way - I took advantage of you."

"No," Minna shook her head. "I would have pushed you away if I had thought that."

"I wish -" he shook his head, making his bright hair fall over his eyes again.

"What do you wish?" Minna asked, intrigued.

"I wish we could be together, because you are a fine woman." He stood up and helped her to her feet. "But that is impossible. I am never going to be the Laird of Cairndene and I know that, but I would at least like to see it return to the state it was in when my father was there. It was my home - the place I grew up in, and it hurts me to see it rotting away. Do you think you could make your brother see that?"

Minna could see the desperation in his dark eyes, and she knew that he was hurting. He had told her a little of his history, and she could only imagine the pain he must have felt when his home and then his beloved mother were wrenched away from him.

"You are not the first person to ask me," she said, sighing. "I have no way of making him change his ways. If I could find something to threaten him -" She shrugged - "but I have nothing."

Minna had been looking at the floor while she was speaking, but now she looked up and met his dark gaze again. She almost felt herself melt, and her world narrowed to Gowan's eyes, Gowan's face.

Gowan had been isolated from the world for years, but he had not been celibate. Before his state of isolation there had been plenty of willing young women eager to come to his bed, and while he had been someone else.

She was a widow whom he had met in Dundee who had taken pity on him in his scarred and wounded state, and shown him the delights of physical love. He had known her for only a few days, and he knew he would never see her again, but there had been enough time for her to teach him about the many ways to please a woman.

He wished he could try some of his skills on Minna, the beautiful woman standing before him. She had not ridiculed his scars, or seemed frightened of him in any way. She had not judged him or expressed any opinions on the way he had chosen to live his life. He had kept her captive for a few days and she had not been frightened or tried to escape. Moreover, she was kind.

He wished he could stay like this forever, in this one room with her, cocooned from the world, but that of course was impossible. He was a lost cause, but she was not, and she was making it so difficult for him to let her go. They were standing only a foot apart, but he dared not move any closer. "You must leave," he said huskily.

Minna opened the door a fraction. The rain was not just pouring down - it was being propelled by the wind in great sheets, and she knew that it would be impossible for her to walk outside without being soaked in minutes.

"I am afraid I cannot go anywhere yet," she told him, sighing. "I will have to stay a little longer."

Gowan's heart skipped a beat. The news that she would have to stay filled him with both gladness and apprehension, because having so much temptation around him was a pleasurable kind of torture.

Minna turned around and found that he was still very close to her, close enough for him to bend his head and touch his lips to hers.

Their second kiss was raw with hunger, desire and longing. Minna felt as if she had been given something delicious, and was allowed to savor as much of it as she could for as long as she wanted. Gowan plundered her mouth with his. This time he did not caress her lips - he ravaged them, pressing them against her teeth and sweeping his tongue around her mouth. It should have been painful, but it was not. It was something else - something Minna had never felt before, but desperately wanted - needed - to feel again.

Gowan was on fire. His hands were everywhere - her breasts, her backside, her thighs. He could simply not get enough of her. Everything about her was so completely soft and womanly, exactly the opposite of him. They were meant to fit together - it was so right.

Then the real world came crashing back. What the hell was he doing? Had it been so long since he had held a woman that he had become a savage? Abruptly, he pulled away and took a step back, then turned away. His shaft was throbbing with desire, but he could not indulge it with Minna; it was too dangerous and would mean a world of trouble for both of them.

"I should not have done that," he growled, angry with himself. "Again! Please forgive me."

"I liked it," Minna admitted, smiling. "There is nothing to forgive." In truth, she would have asked him to do it again if he had not been so angry with himself.

"Not like that. I should have known better." His voice was grim. "Will you tell your brother about me?"

"Do you want me to?" she asked, surprised.

"No!" he cried, then sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I can't stop you if you want to, though."

"Then I will not say a word to anyone," she assured him. "I swear to it, and I am a woman of my word."

"I believe you. I have known you for such a short time, and yet I trust you, Minna." He gave her one last longing glance, then turned and left.

Minna sat down again and touched her sensitive, swollen lips. She had thought before that kissing was merely a gentle touching of lips, but now she knew there was so much more.

However, if it was a skill she had to learn, she would only let one man be her teacher. She would see Gowan Hepburn again - she would make sure of it, then he would show her all there was to know about the mysteries of - love? She shook her head, dismissing the thought and berating herself for being stupid.

She heard a rustling sound from outside and was immediately on the alert, but a quick glance out of the doorway told her that it was only a deer, which bounded away as soon as it saw her.

She looked around herself at the old hut that was barely big enough for Gowan to stand up in and thought about what kind of hopelessness and fear made a man shut himself off from the world altogether. He was all alone in the world, thinking that his disfigurement set him apart from his fellow men, and he had never given himself a chance to find out if this was true.

‘Well, Gowan, you are not alone any more,' she thought grimly, ‘because I will fight for you.'