Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

A knock sounded at her door. "Come in."

Frances walked in, wiping a stain on the shoulder of her dress. "It's amazing so much can come out of someone so tiny."

Jenny smiled at her reflection. "You don't need to tell me. You weren't there the first time he tried strained carrots. My favorite dress is forever dyed orange."

"The Duke of Dovegrove is downstairs. Going on another promenade this morning?"

Jenny shook her head. "Mhm. Martha is accompanying us."

Frances took the pin that Jenny was trying to place in her hair. She artfully tucked the stray curl under her hat. "He is a good man, Jenny."

She rested her hands on Jenny's shoulders as both women looked at each other in the mirror.

Jenny nodded in agreement. "I know, Frannie. He is everything a woman should want."

Frances tilted her head. "Should want? Not does want?"

Jenny chewed on her bottom lip. "No. I do want it?—"

"Just not from him?" Frances's tone was clipped.

Jenny turned on her bench and looked up at her sister-in-law. "Please, don't be cross with me. I am trying my best to navigate all of this."

Frances retreated to Jenny's bed and sat on the edge with a sigh. When Jenny looked at her, she was surprised to see mischief in her eyes and a playful smile on her lips.

"I remember someone quite ardently asking when it was going to be her turn to live through these experiences. To fall in and out of love."

Jenny threw a hairbrush in Frances's direction. "Oh, stop." She laughed.

"I tried to warn you," Frances said while dodging the flying brush.

Jenny got up in a huff and trudged over to the bed, where she flopped face down next to Frances. "How did I get myself into this?" Her words were muffled by the duvet.

Frances patted her back. "Come, sit up before you ruin your hair and dress. What will people think if they see you walking with the Duke of Dovegrove while wearing wrinkled clothes?"

Jenny grimaced. "Absolutely nothing. The Duke is the most polite, well-behaved man I've ever met. They would sooner think I have low hygiene standards than suspect he took advantage of me."

Frances smirked. "Well, they know your brother, so it wouldn't be surprising if some of his unrefined qualities rubbed off on you."

Jenny turned over her pillows and duvet.

"What are you doing?" Frances asked.

"Looking for that hairbrush so I can throw it at you again."

Frances held up her hand that was holding the brush. "Sorry, dear sister, I know how much your family likes to throw things when they're pitying themselves. I've learned to hold onto easily thrown items."

Jenny narrowed her eyes at her sister-in-law. "Clever."

"I like to think so," Frances said with a wink. "Now, come on. We shouldn't leave the Duke waiting."

With one more glance in the mirror, Jenny followed Frances out of her bedroom and made her way downstairs.

"We've been blessed with another lovely day."

Harry escorted her down the pathway through the park, with Martha trailing behind them.

Jenny looked up into the lush trees, noting the sunlight filtering through their branches. "We really have. It's beautiful out."

"Jenny, there is something I was hoping to discuss with you today."

Jenny turned her attention back to the man at her side.

"I was thinking it was time I brought my daughter Elizabeth to meet you."

Jenny's lips formed the shape of a small ‘o'. She knew he had a daughter—he mentioned her early on in their courtship—but she never considered that she would meet her one day. That one day, she would become her mother.

"I see I've surprised you."

"No, no." She paused. "Well, yes. But not because I don't want to. It's just I didn't realize we were there yet."

Harry laid his free hand over the arm that was tucked into his and looked into her eyes. "I think we are there."

Jenny could only swallow and nod her head.

"Am I alone in thinking that?" Confusion and hurt laced his words.

"Oh no. No." She lifted her hand and put it on top of his. "Forgive me. I know where we are headed. Becoming a wife is one thing, but becoming a mother to a small child is another, and I'm afraid I haven't given it much thought. That was terribly wrong of me."

Relief flooded Harry's features. "No, it's my fault. I don't talk much about her. But we are a package deal. She needs a mother."

Jenny looked at the path ahead of them. "Tell me about her."

Harry smiled and sighed. She could tell he was happy to finally be able to share the weight of childrearing with someone. Feeling needed made her steps feel lighter, but she couldn't deny there was still a small lead ball of regret that rolled in her stomach whenever she thought of the future.

Harry blushed. "Oh, where to start? She has my eyes and coloring," he said, his eyes flicking up to his blonde hairline.

Jenny smiled.

"She loves to read… Well, she's just learning, but she's doing quite well. However, she is a precocious young girl with a love of the outdoors. No matter how many times we scold her, we continue to find her outside without her stockings or shoes on."

Jenny cocked her head. "We?"

"Her nanny and myself. She's a wonderful older woman my wife hired before she passed. We had other nannies before, her but she's been with us since my wife's death. A godsend, really. Elizabeth can be a handful."

"She sounds like a lively, little girl with whom I shall get along brilliantly."

For a moment, Jenny allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to be a mother to the young girl. She could see herself walking hand in hand with a little girl who had her father's eyes. She, too, was known for enjoying the cool earth underneath her bare feet.

The girl was smiling up at her, possibly missing a tooth or two. Jenny could feel the love for the child swell in her heart. Only, the girl's eyes were no longer blue, but deep green. Her hair wasn't blonde like before, but darker, with wild curls that would push pins out of her hair just like Jenny's did.

The solid rock of regret turned into searing pain that stole her breath. Jenny shook the vision from her head. That dream was not to be. Harry was the one who was courting her. Not… him.

She convinced herself it was just her pride that was holding onto what could have been.

She looked at Harry, who was still giving tidbits about his young daughter.

"She has been asking to meet you for some time now."

Jenny nodded her head. "Then it is high time for me to meet her."

Harry's face lit up with excitement. "Fantastic. I can bring her with me for our walk tomorrow. If that is alright with you."

Jenny nudged him. "Quite confident that I would accept to go on another walk with you, Your Grace."

Harry pretended to be hurt. "Are there other suitors I will need to chase away?"

Jenny chuckled. "No. Just you, Your Grace, and I am alright with that."

Harry stopped and faced her. The jovial mood quickly dissipated as he looked deeply into her eyes. "Are you really?"

"Yes." No.

Harry smiled, his eyes twinkling with gratitude and hope. Jenny ignored the growing ball of lead in her stomach and reminded herself that all of her dreams were coming true with Harry.

Many people got married and then fell in love with their spouse. She could do that. He was a lovely man, with a generous heart that appealed to hers. Who cared if he didn't make her heart flip when he looked at her, or if his words didn't elicit waves of need and want? It didn't mean she couldn't train her body to react that way in time.

After all, thanks to David, she learned to do many things with her body. She could trick it into thinking Harry was giving it everything it needed.

Patience is a virtue, isn't it?

She just needed to be patient. Those feelings would come—they had to.

The next day, Jenny found herself staring into the same eyes as Harry's. Only instead of looking up into them, she was looking down into them.

Elizabeth was a beautiful cherub of a child. With round cheeks and bright blue eyes, the girl exuded energy in every movement. And she was driving Harry absolutely mad by refusing to sit still.

Jenny leaned down and picked up the shattered pieces of the vase. "It really is alright, Harry. It was a wedding gift that neither my brother nor Frannie were fond of. If anything, Elizabeth did them a favor."

Harry did not find amusement in the situation. Ever since he and Elizabeth walked through the door, the child became interested in touching every single item in the parlor. The upholstery of the chairs, the picture frames, the poor unfortunate vase.

Jenny barely spoke to Harry in the twenty minutes they were there. He was too busy telling Elizabeth to "put that down," or "stop touching that."

"Why don't we go out for a walk?" She looked down at Elizabeth, who was eyeing up a tiny glass horse figurine, a family heirloom she and Thomas brought from their old life. Jenny reached out and took the child's hand to distract her from its shiny exterior.

"What do you say, Elizabeth? Would you like to go for a walk with us? It's a lovely day outside."

The little girl finally tore her gaze away from the glass horse and nodded her head vigorously. "Yes, please," she intoned in her tiny sweet voice, making Jenny smile.

Jenny looked over at Harry, who looked exhausted. "There. All she needs is some fresh air and exercise."

Harry eyed her skeptically but moved to the door. "Since I'm not doing a good job of controlling her in here, I say we give it a try."

Jenny scrunched up her nose. "Control? She's a bit rambunctious, but you make it sound as if you're expecting her to be a tiny soldier and not a little girl."

"If she were a boy, I'd understand. But a girl?" He looked positively shocked. "No, girls should know how to behave. I'm sure you understand what I mean."

Jenny cocked her head as they walked out of the house and towards the park. "Your Grace, you must remember that I have a vastly different background from my peers. Thomas and I grew up as the children of a shopkeeper. My childhood was not one of strict discipline and conformity."

Harry waved her off. "I'm sure it wasn't that bad. I wasn't lying when I said she was precocious. I need someone to help me rein her in."

Jenny stopped walking. Elizabeth tugged on her arm, urging her to keep moving. "I think we have a misunderstanding, Your Grace. I'm not much of a disciplinarian. I think children should have some freedom to explore things. Some of my favorite memories are of a young Thomas and I exploring our town and causing mischief."

Harry sighed and held her shoulders with his hands, looking into her eyes. "I don't expect you to be the disciplinarian, my sweet. I just expect you to back up my discipline."

"Oh." Jenny resumed walking with the now-skipping Elizabeth. But then she stopped again. "Wait. Am I to have no say in how we raise Elizabeth?" She cocked her head.

Harry once again sighed. "I'm not saying that… Well, not exactly. Elizabeth is a special child who needs a firm hand. As her father, I can do that. But as you can see…" He pointed to Elizabeth, who was trying to kick a stone at a duck. "She needs more attention than I alone can give her."

Jenny processed his words. They didn't sit right with her. However, he never showed any signs of aggression or ill behavior towards her or anyone else. It was not like he was saying that he beat the poor child. Some discipline was good for children.

For instance, if Jenny wasn't concerning herself over their differing parenting styles, she would most likely be disciplining Elizabeth on successfully hitting the duck with the stone.

If she truly looked at the situation, Harry was acting like his peers did where their children were concerned. Maybe more so.

Jenny decided to drop the conversation. Maybe all Elizabeth needed was a mother figure in her life. After all, she had Frances to help her become accustomed to high society. Jenny could do that for Elizabeth.

"Miss Jenny, are you going to marry my papa?"

Harry sputtered in front of them. His face turned bright red as his eyes bulged at his daughter's question.

Jenny did her best to cover her giggle, but his expression was too comical not to laugh. "Well, not one to beat around the bush, are you?" she asked while swinging Elizabeth's hand as they continued past Harry, who was now trying to regain his composure.

The little girl tilted her head to the side and looked around. "I'm not by a bush?"

Jenny laughed. "No, sweetheart, that's not what I meant. It's a saying. It means you say what's on your mind. I like that about you."

Elizabeth beamed up at her. "Papa and Mrs. Winslow say I need to…" She paused, screwing up her face in concentration. "Stop… before… I speak."

Jenny looked over at Harry, who was now walking alongside them. "Well, yes. There is an appropriate time and place for all conversations, and you must stop and think if this is the correct place to say what you're thinking."

Elizabeth looked up at her father. "Is this the appropriate time for me to ask if she's going to marry you?"

Harry opened his mouth and closed it, only to open it once more. And close it again.

Jenny took pity on the man. He seemed to really struggle with the precocious child.

"No, Elizabeth. This is not the appropriate time or place."

"Actually," Harry interjected, surprising her, "why not?"

It was Jenny's turn to stare, her mouth hanging open. "Excuse me?"

"Why not here? It's a beautiful day. I was going to ask you when we returned to the parlor anyway. Why not discuss it here?" His voice held no pretenses or emotion.

Discuss it here.

As if they were negotiating a business deal and not the rest of their lives.

Jenny felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She felt as if everything was happening too fast, even though she'd known for a month this was inevitable. Still, at this moment, she felt completely unprepared for the question.

"Because it is not proper."

She knew he was one for propriety. Surely, he wouldn't profess his love for her out in the open in front of strangers and cause a scene.

Harry's expression turned nervous. He looked around, taking in the couples and groups walking nearby, giving them odd looks as they passed.

She sighed a breath of relief.

Ah. That worked.

Harry shrugged. "I guess it's a bit uncouth. However, I've already talked to your brother about an agreement, so whether it's in a parlor or this lovely park, I say we make it official."

Jenny took a few breaths to steady her breathing and calm her racing heart. He'd already talked to Thomas. A nervous laugh bubbled up her throat and escaped her lips.

To think she was concerned about him professing his love in front of strangers. This wasn't a love match, she needed to remind herself.

She felt a small tug on her hand and looked down into Elizabeth's eyes. Blue eyes, not green. They'll never be green.

She raised her eyes and found Harry waiting for an answer. With a swallow, she squared her shoulders and lifted her head.

Go on, Jenny. This is what you wanted.

"I agree. Let's make it official."

Harry whooped and pulled her in his arms, once again surprising her with his behavior.

He quickly remembered where they were and backed away, looking embarrassed. "Please forgive my outburst, I am very glad to hear you accept. Let's go back to your home and tell your brother the good news."

Jenny's heart sank. If anything, his show of emotion softened her towards him. But just as quickly as his more emotional side showed, he locked it back up behind a wall of propriety and decorum.

Harry took Elizabeth's other hand, and together they walked back to Jenny's house.

With each step, Jenny walked towards a new life. One that didn't hold grand gestures or sweeping emotions, but one that was solidified by saying, "I agree."