Chapter Four

"Bring her to me." Lord Harkirk lifted his hand and stared at the Scottish chief who stood before him. Finian MacLachor's dark hair was cast with grey, his clothing ragged. Blood trickled from his lip, and his gaze was focused upon the door.

Within moments, soldiers brought forth a young girl hardly more than ten years old. She was sobbing as the men gripped her arms.

"You should guard your women more carefully," Harkirk said to the warrior. He enjoyed watching the man's face transform with a father's fury.

"Let her go," MacLachor responded, his voice like the point of a sword.

"Not yet." Harkirk folded his arms and gestured for the men to take the girl away.

She screamed, "Da, don't let them take me. Please!"

MacLachor's face turned murderous, and if he'd had a weapon, no doubt Harkirk would have seen him lunge. He didn't respond to his daughter's begging, but his cold grey eyes grew focused. "What is it you want?"

Harkirk sat down upon the carved wooden chair, enjoying the man's discomfort. He accepted a cup of wine from a servant, taking a sip to clear his throat. Though he had more than a few Scottish prisoners held captive within his fortress, it wasn't enough. He'd suffered humiliation and defeat from the MacKinloch clan. And his ally, the Earl of Cairnross, had been brutally murdered by Bram MacKinloch.

"I want you to bring me the MacKinloch chief," Harkirk answered. "And his brothers."

MacLachor's face twisted. "Because they defeated you?"

Harkirk threw the cup of wine across the room, the silver goblet clattering against the floor. "Because you want your daughter to live. And because I'll give her to my men to enjoy. If you want to see her again, her virtue intact, you'll bring me their heads."

Although he had the forces to go after the MacKinlochs again, Harkirk saw no reason to risk the lives of English soldiers or the ire of his king. Edward Plantagenet was not known for mercy. Though he wanted the Scots beneath his reign, his first priority was to dim the uprisings in the northwest region.

Harkirk calmed his temper, gathering a patience he didn't feel. There was a way to accomplish vengeance, using the blood of Scots instead of his own men. Better to unite the clans against the MacKinlochs, letting them take down his enemy. The king wouldn't care if the Scots murdered each other.

"We can't defeat them," the MacLachor chief argued. "The MacKinlochs are too strong."

Harkirk crossed the room and grasped the man's throat while his soldiers held the warrior's arms back. "I watched their fortress burn. Everything they have lies in ashes. Now is the time to strike. And you'll do it for me, if you want your daughter to live."

His face twisted in a smile. "You can't protect all of them. A pity your wife is dead. But you have a sister, don't you?" He released the man's throat and ordered, "You have until the Feast of Saint Agatha to bring me the first head. Or I'll take your daughter's instead."

Alex brought Laren back to Glen Arrin the following morning. When she departed, the first place she went was toward Father Nolan's cavern on the far side of the loch. Frustration seeped through his mind and heart. Last night, he'd hoped to convince her to try harder, to be strong and stand at his side instead of abandoning him. But he'd begun to realize that Laren wasn't going to change.

When it had just been the two of them and young Mairin, his wife had been a different woman. She'd devoted her time to their baby, spending her free hours weaving. She'd always had an eye for color, and he'd marveled at the vivid tapestries she'd woven.

But, most of all, he remembered the way she would stop whatever she was working on and fly into his arms, greeting him with a warm kiss. He'd thrived upon her affection, looking forward to it at the end of each day.

Now, she rarely offered a kiss in greeting or in farewell. He missed that. Although he wanted to initiate affection and pull her into his arms, he could sense the frigid awkwardness between them. And he didn't know how to change it.

He watched Laren disappear along the shores of the loch, her red hair streaming out behind her from beneath the mantle she wore. And with every step she took away from him, it hurt a little more.

Alex took a breath and turned back to the task of setting down the new foundation. He'd widened the space, making it larger than it was before. The structure of the keep was now the size of a Norman castle, one sizeable enough to keep several families together.

Bram was the first to notice what he'd done. "This won't work, Brother. It'll take three times as long to build it from wood."

"Not wood. Stone." Alex stood up and pointed to the hills. "We'll need to bring wagons up to the quarry, but this has to last longer. And the danger of fire is less."

"We don't have the men to build something that large," Bram argued. "Has your mind gone soft?"

"It's what our father wanted," Alex reminded him. When they'd been growing up, he well remembered sitting at Tavin's knee, hearing the promises his father had made. One day, the MacKinlochs would be strong enough to have a castle of their own. As a young boy, he'd looked up to his father, wanting so badly to make him proud.

And though Alex knew he wasn't the chief Tavin had wanted, he could give him this legacy.

"We'll build it in stages, starting with an outer wall." Alex nodded toward the horizon. "Lord Harkirk is going to attack again, so we'll need that defense."

"We'd need twelve walls to hold him off," Bram argued. From the doubt upon his brother's face, Alex knew he had a lot of convincing to do. But he believed it was better to make plans for the long term instead of wasting time on wooden walls that could be easily breached.

When they passed the stables, he saw that Dougal had built a makeshift shelter for the horses with Callum's help. The two men walked forwards to join them and Alex complimented him. "The shelter looks good."

Dougal acknowledged the compliment with a half-smile, but it faded. "I thought you should know…Brodie is going east, to Perth. He's planning to live with his wife's family at the Murrays."

"We need every man to stay if we want to rebuild Glen Arrin," Alex insisted. If Brodie left, others might follow suit. A tightness caught in his gut with the fear that his clan was already starting to fracture.

Bram could only shrug. "You'll have to talk to them."

Alex didn't answer. He knew he had to bring them together, but would words accomplish anything? Too many had lost so much.

"Tell the others I want to talk with them tonight. Then gather a group of men to go to the quarry," he told Bram. To Dougal and Callum, he instructed, "Prepare the horses and wagons." It was going to take the better part of a year to finish a castle, but, if they worked hard over the next few weeks—with everyone helping—they could get the foundation and outer wall completed.

Callum drew closer and rested his hand upon Alex's shoulder. Though his younger brother didn't speak, he exerted a slight pressure, as a gesture of support.

"We'll manage," Alex told him. "Somehow."

As his brothers departed, Alex surveyed the damage. Only five huts had survived the fires, and they'd lost fourteen men and boys in the fight—nearly a third of their clan. The grief and frustration threatened to close over him, but he shut out the emotions.

Though he wasn't meant to be chief, he'd sworn a vow to himself that he would prove his father wrong. He'd promised to give everything he could to Glen Arrin, placing the people's needs before his own.

And yet it had all fallen apart.

They couldn't live this way, not with their pride splintered, their homes in ashes. Somehow, he had to gather the people back together. If they helped each other, they could overcome their losses. But, most of all, they needed to rebuild their pride.

A hardness clenched his throat and his gaze shifted toward the loch and the site upon the hill, marked with a white stone. He couldn't forget his son's death. Not even after nearly three years had passed. He blinked, forcing his gaze away. He knew what his grieving kinsmen were feeling right now with their family members gone. Work was what they needed, to take their minds off the suffering and go on.

It was what he had done. Because the moment he allowed himself to stop and think, the numbing grief would close in.

Work was the answer. The only answer he'd found for himself, when Laren had shut him out.

"We'll leave for Inveriston in another day," Nairna said. "I'll speak to Bram and he'll arrange it."

"I can't finish the glasswork by then!" The very idea was appalling. It took a full day and a half simply to make one color, much less create a flat pane of glass.

Nairna's mouth curved in a sly smile. "Oh, I don't expect you to finish. We're going to get you a commission. Bring one of your smaller pieces and a sketch of the design you want to do. We'll get the window measurements and they'll pay one-third of the cost up front, plus all of your supplies."

Laren stopped arguing. She'd never thought about a commission. But the idea of having enough supplies and the chance to craft a window for one of the kirks… Her mind flooded with ideas.

"What if they try to cheat us again?" she asked, thinking of the time before when they'd sent Dougal to sell a piece of glass.

"Dougal sold the glass to a merchant, not an abbot. And what does a lad of four-and-ten know about silver coins?" Nairna moved to the back of the cavern, sorting through pieces. "We'll use this one."

She held up a frame that portrayed the rising sun over the loch. Laren had spent days trying to perfect the orange and yellow shades of glass and she'd experimented with the lead lines to create the effect of ripples in the water.

It was one of the first pieces that she'd been pleased with, a puzzle of glasswork that reminded her of the simple beauty around them.

"You'll tell them that it represents holy baptism," Nairna went on.

Laren gaped at her. "But it's just the loch at sunrise."

Nairna gently set down the glass. "Not to monks, it isn't. The sun represents the holy resurrection, while the water of baptism washes us clean of our sins."

"It's the loch," Laren repeated. She saw no reason to lie, not when the glass was pretty enough as it was.

Nairna put an arm around her and let out a sigh. "You see, that's why you need me, Laren. We tell them what they want to hear and they will pay us a great deal for the honor."

"Even if it's not the truth?"

"It is the truth," Nairna insisted. "Theirs, not yours."

She still wasn't convinced, but Nairna had more experience with handling merchants and selling items. With a shrug, Laren acceded, "I suppose."

"Leave all of the bargaining to me. You simply measure for the windows and talk about what colors they want. And do not, under any circumstances, tell them that it's simply a loch."

Laren smiled and Adaira came forward, crawling into her lap. Her daughter snuggled her face against her chest, and Laren held her close. There was a slight shadow of wistfulness upon Nairna's face and Laren knew her sister-in-law wanted a child of her own.

"I'm glad you're here, Nairna," she said. "And I hope we can profit from the glass, however slight it may be."

"It won't be slight. I promise you that." Nairna took Adaira from her, lifting the child into her arms. She murmured sweet words to the bairn, nestling Adaira's cheek against her own.

"How is Bram?" Laren asked as they walked around the far side of the loch.

"He hasn't forgotten the years he spent imprisoned." Nairna shifted the child's weight to her opposite hip. "And he's angry that Lord Harkirk still holds some of our countrymen captive. He talks of trying to free them."

Laren shuddered at the thought of the men going off to fight again. She didn't want Alex endangering himself, not so soon after this battle. "We have to keep our men here," she insisted. Though she was afraid of the hardships ahead, it would be easier to manage if they stood together. "They can't go off to fight. Not until we've rebuilt Glen Arrin."

Nairna squeezed her hand and there was a silent promise between them. They would find a way to earn coins from the glass and pray to God it would be enough.

The men were working together, unloading stones from the wagons. Laren watched as they began forming a foundation while others built up walls around the outer perimeter of the fortress.

She went to join the other women, and they worked with the smaller stones, placing them into a dry stone wall. Her side ached, but her girls were eager to join in. They gathered pebbles, tucking them into crevices, believing they were helping.

Laren wiped her brow and cast a glance at the other men. Her husband was directing the construction and he wore nothing from the waist up. Neither did his brothers or their kinsmen. They were sweating from the hard labor and none appeared to notice the cool weather.

"I want a drink, Mama," Mairin informed her.

"I'll get you one." Laren took the girls by the hand and led them forward, dipping a wooden cup into a barrel that held water from the loch. They shared it between them and Laren filled it again, intending to take it to Alex.

When she passed by the women, she saw them watching her. Though it made her uncomfortable, she turned back and explained, "The men will be thirsty."

"For water?" Vanora scoffed. "Ross'll be wanting mead or ale." But after Laren's suggestion, she, too, filled her cup until most of the women trailed behind, approaching the men. It felt awkward having the others follow her example.

As Laren drew closer to her husband, mixed emotions of uncertainty and regret grew inside her. Last night had begun almost as if Alex wanted to start again, to mend the lost years. But as soon as she'd started to tell him why she spent time in the cavern, he'd focused only on her shyness.

Once, he had loved her enough that it hadn't mattered. Now, she was afraid that he regretted marrying her. And she didn't know if she could be the wife he needed.

Before she reached her husband, her path was blocked by two of their kinsmen engaged in their own conversation. "He's lost his mind, that's what," said Brodie MacKinloch. "Thinks he'll rebuild Glen Arrin of stone instead of wood? That'll take years and the English will kill us all in the meantime."

"Who does he think he is?" said the other. "An English lord?"

"We're leaving in the morning," Brodie added. "And unless you want t'be hauling stone for the next year, you'd best do the same."

Laren didn't move, but the women behind her had also heard Brodie's complaints. The men couldn't possibly conceive of anything beyond the broken-down fortress they'd known for years. Alex was doing his best to rebuild, yet they had nothing to offer but criticism.

She doubted if anything she said would change their minds, but as she passed she sent them a hard look, letting them know she'd overheard their complaints.

When she reached Alex, he stopped working, his face furrowed. "What is it?" he asked. "Something with the girls?"

She fumbled with her words, uncertain of what to say. "I just…wanted to see if you needed anything." She lifted up the cup of water and Alex took it from her.

He drank, his eyes averted from her. "Nairna told me that you talked this morning about a way to bring in more money for the clan."

"Go on." Laren kept her voice calm, though a cold anxiety filled up her veins. Had Nairna revealed anything to Alex?

"She said that you found some of Father Nolan's glass inside the cavern and that you wanted to sell it to the Inveriston monks."

Laren's heart nearly stopped, but she realized that her sister-in-law had told Alex only enough to give them permission to go.

He stared at her, and the penetrating look made her uncomfortable. "You knew about the glass, didn't you?"

She gave a nod and her voice barely reached above a whisper. "Nairna's right. We should try to sell it."

Her husband set the cup back in her hands. "A few weeks ago, when you sent Dougal away, was he trying to sell glass then? When he returned with counterfeit coins?"

She lowered her head in a nod. Guilt plagued her, for Dougal had got lost upon his journey home that night. "I know we should have told you."

"He won't be going this time," Alex said. "Bram will take Nairna, and she'll arrange for it to be sold."

"I want to go with them," she blurted out, fully expecting him to say no. His gaze shifted to her bandaged side. To appease him, she added, "If I've healed enough."

"Why?"

In his eyes she saw more than a question. There was an emotion that he'd locked away and she found herself staring at the hardened face of a chief instead of her husband.

She took a risk and removed her glove. If he saw the scars, he would ask about them. And perhaps she would gather the courage to tell him the truth about her glass. Without taking her gaze from his, she reached out to touch his fingertips. "Because it's important to me."

Alex didn't look down, as she'd hoped, but his hand laced with hers, his thumb caressing the edge of her burned palm. He hadn't noticed the scars at all.

The aching touch caught the pieces of her heart. She held motionless and, for a moment, it seemed that the crowds of people were no longer watching.

"Then go," he said. Dark brown eyes stared into hers and she saw the longing in them.

She replaced her glove once more, half-afraid he would change his mind. "Thank you," she whispered.

With the spell broken, Alex pointed to the work they'd done. "We've made good progress on the foundation. Better than I'd hoped. And the outer wall should be completed before the end of winter."

She was acutely aware of his presence beside her. Once, he might have put his arm around her, warming her body with his cloak. Instead, he kept a careful distance.

"What we build here will be stronger than it was before," Alex was saying.

"I hope so."

The brief shadow of uncertainty passed over his face. Though no one could fault his efforts, they both knew that the people didn't want to rebuild the fortress in stone.

"We need to be safe from invasion," he continued. "And I think it's time we sent Mairin and Adaira off to be fostered. We've waited too long already."

She went cold at his words, though she'd known the time would come. The girls needed an education and the chance to build ties to other prominent families. It could one day lead to marriage alliances. But the thought of sending them away made her heart bleed. "Adaira is just a bairn."

"Do you want them here if Harkirk attacks again? It's too grave a risk." His hands tightened at his sides. "I don't want them hurt."

So that was why he was suggesting it now. Although he was right about their safety, the idea of sending her daughters away was like cutting off her arms. "They're so young."

"We could send them farther north to the Orkney Islands," he offered. "My cousin and the Sinclairs would take them. They'd be safe from the English raids." His face darkened at the mention of their enemy. "This war isn't over yet."

Laren could hardly see, for her eyes were blurred with tears. "I'd rather wait until the spring. The journey would be safer for them."

"And what if we're attacked in the meantime?"

She understood the danger, but she remained obstinate. "I want to spend these last few months with them."

"You need to consider what's best," he argued. "You're thinking with your heart, not your head."

"And what if I am?" she shot back. "Why should I be so eager to send my girls away?" Her stomach hurt at the thought of being so alone.

"Because you don't want them to die." His voice held ice, with no sympathy at all. "We have to protect them."

Laren said nothing, trying to blot away the searing memories. It had been almost three years now, but she hadn't let herself grieve. She'd locked away the pain of her son, forcing herself to think of the children who were alive and needed her.

"In the spring," she repeated. "Let me have this last winter with the girls."

He let go of her hand. "I'll make no promises. If there's even a sign of danger, they go."

She supposed that was the best she could do. "All right." Glancing around, she said, "Do you want me to see about a meal for the men?"

"I think Nairna has already organized it."

When Laren looked over at her sister-in-law, she saw that Alex was right. The women were busy cutting up mutton, while others were starting to set up hearth fires for cooking.

"I'll see what I can do to help them, then," she said, starting to move away from him.

"Laren," he interrupted. "Tonight, when I speak to the men, perhaps you could address the women. Hear their concerns and tell me what it is they're thinking."

"I can't," she answered immediately.

"I'm not asking you to speak to them," he reiterated. "Only to hear them. I don't think that's too difficult."

In his eyes, she saw the fervent wish that she would suddenly cast off her shyness and become someone else. Someone strong, who didn't hide herself away.

She closed her eyes, wishing she had the strength to try.

January, 1303

The tiny body was cold and rigid within the grave. Her son, her beloved David, was gone.

Laren couldn't voice a single word. He'd been alive for only four days and it seemed impossible that he'd breathed his last.

Hadn't she felt his soft face against the curve of her breast? Hadn't he cried until she'd comforted him, reassuring him of how much she loved him?

Beside her, Alex was silent. The shock of their son's death had been an ill omen, now that her husband was chief. It cast a shadow over them and she felt as though they were a thousand miles apart.

Her body was weakened from giving birth, but she couldn't bear to eat or drink. The numbing grief consumed her. Though Alex said something after Father Nolan completed the final blessing, she didn't hear it.

She walked away from him, needing solitude. She couldn't bear to hear any words of comfort, nor did she deserve his embrace.

Her path led her around the edge of the loch, leaving everyone behind. Even Mairin.

She couldn't cry, couldn't scream, couldn't rage against the Fate that had torn her baby out of her life. All she could do was walk. And when she heard Alex's footsteps following behind, she didn't turn around.