Chapter 14

Fourteen

When I wake, I’m still shrouded in steam, but soft rose gold light fills the sauna. It’s coming from a half ring light installed in the arch on the back wall of the barrel. It reminds me of the Himalayan salt lamp Kelly bought several years back that she plugged into the front room. At night, it would instantly make the place feel cozier. But when Kelly got a little too tipsy on wine and accidentally knocked it over, cracking it, she never replaced it.

As everything of the last twenty-four hours comes rushing back, I’m overwhelmed with longing for the life I had. It was boring and lacking, and when I was in the middle of it, I hated it, but now it seems so blissfully simple.

Why did I ever take it for granted?

The Alpha caught me in one of my own stupid mistakes—I thought shedding the old me and embracing the fae-me would be easy. Even though everyone on the face of the planet knows that anything worth doing is going to be hard.

I never fit in that old, boring life. That’s why it was lacking.

Or rather, why I felt that void yawning at my core.

Every day I would wake up and feel like something was missing, never having the language or the capacity to put my finger on what. It’s why I always thought about leaving. I was searching for something to fill that void.

I can’t go back.

And if I could, would I choose to?

Simple isn’t always better.

I don’t think I would choose to go back.

“You’re awake.”

Bran’s voice startles me upright and I clutch at my racing heart and the towel drooping over my chest. I find him sitting in the front end of the barrel, hidden partially in mist and shadows.

“You scared me. I forgot how eerily still and silent vampires can be.”

He leans forward into the light, bracing his elbows to his knees. He’s fully clothed even though it’s bordering on stifling hot in here. “How are you, little mouse?”

To anyone who did not know Bran well, it would almost sound like he was indifferent to the answer. But I think I’ve come to know Bran better than most people at this point. He’s pulled back his protective layers and allowed me to see his vulnerabilities.

And I can detect the fragile lace of fear in his voice.

He is afraid of the answer. He’s afraid of things getting worse and being unable to save me.

It makes me want to immediately reassure him.

I take stock of my body.

I’m not shivering anymore, so that’s a good sign. I see no frost, no ice on the large rectangular window.

My mouth is a little dry, but no big deal. I feel a little woozy, but that’s probably because I’ve been in a sauna for…how many hours?

The buzzing in my legs is completely gone and when I give my shoulders a roll, testing the joints, I’m surprised to find no ache, no tension, no pain.

Everything feels lighter, looser, less human .

Had I always been achy and never noticed it? Did the binding make me feel human? Prone to muscle soreness, joint pain, just the regular ache of existing in this world?

Or was it my fae side always trying to push to the surface? The power struggling against the binding?

That flame of anger aimed at my mother returns for a second before I remind myself of what she sacrificed to protect me.

I can’t be mad at a dead woman who raised a child that was not her own. Mom could have easily tossed me to another fae family, and who knows what they would have done with me if they found out my origins.

The anger at my mother will always be fruitless. And worse, not entirely warranted.

I glance over at Bran, still hunched forward. He’s watching me with an intensity that scalds, his eyes flaring amber orange in a cloud of thick steam.

My heart kicks up and there’s an answering pull at my core.

“You’re hot when you look at me like that.”

The line of his dark brow sinks in annoyance. “Don’t make me ask a second time.” His voice is vibrating with warning now, and when he’s like this, I know I’m either going to get fucked or scolded. Or option three: both .

“I’m fine.”

“ Fine ? Don’t lie to me.”

I heave out a sigh and rub at my forehead. “I feel better than ever. I feel… not human anymore .”

The admission comes out in a rush, like the words have been dying to get out.

“You were never human, Mouse.” Bran’s voice softens as a tear spills over the edge of my eye.

I nod. “I know.” My teeth rake over my bottom lip. “I know that, obviously. But…I could pretend .”

Steam hisses into the air and I lurch away from the bench, feeling the instant chill on my skin.

I turn around to find frost on the wooden bench.

“Shit. Shit. Get out, Bran. I can’t control it!”

More tears spill over. I don’t know why I’m freaking out, but I suddenly am and my heart races in my chest, making it hard to breathe.

Snow forms in the air.

“Get out! Before I hurt you!”

He’s on his feet in a blur, across the sauna in less than a second, and then he grabs me by the throat, driving me back against the flat side of the barrel.

I lose the towel and it puddles at my feet.

Bran towers over me. “Look at me, Mouse.”

Frost climbs up his arm.

“Bran, please.”

“Look at me!”

I crane my neck to meet his glowing gaze.

“I’m not leaving you.”

The wood groans from the change in temperature. I can no longer see past the broad line of Bran’s shoulders, the steam is so thick.

I start to shiver.

Ice crackles along the domed roof above us.

The light bar flickers.

“I can’t control it.”

“Do you trust me?” Bran asks.

“What? I?—”

He drops to his knees, tears my panties from my body and hooks one knee over his shoulder.

He tastes me in one long stroke of his tongue and my mind immediately goes to the sensation and the primal pleasure of my vampire boyfriend being between my legs.

Bran hooks one hand around my thigh, spreading me wider as he sinks two fingers inside of me. “I’m not…leaving you,” he says between licks. “There will always be this.” He nips at my clit, causing me to jolt, and my body relaxes. “There will always be the distraction of pleasure.” He pulls out of me, then sucks my juices from his fingers, eyes glowing up at me. “I will never abandon you.” He fingers me deeper, tongue swirling over my swollen clit. “If I must get on my knees to help you through power flares, I will.” He sucks at my clit again, then explores my center with the slide of his tongue. “I will do anything to help you balance your power.” He nips at my clit and my hips rock back.

Bran tightens his grip around my thigh, pulling me back into him, back to his mouth.

“I will be here”—he tastes me deeply—“until the end of fucking time.”

The steam thins out and the chill around me dissipates until there is only the burning need in my body.

I focus on the feel of Bran between my thighs, his mouth on my pussy.

Fuck, he knows how to bring me to the peak in no time at all. I try to push him away—I don’t want to come without him. Not yet. But he is relentless, and unmovable. Bran Duval takes orders from no one. Not even me.

“Give in to me, Mouse,” he says with a growl, his tongue swirling over my clit, tasting me deeply. “Come for me and let me taste the sweetness of it.”

He takes me flying to the edge.

I brace myself with a hand on the wall behind me, the other buried in his hair as I rock my hips forward, chasing the pleasure of his mouth on me.

“Fuck, Mouse,” he groans into me. “You taste so fucking good.”

The bloom of pleasure spills over and I cry out.

Bran’s fingers press into my inner thigh, keeping me open for him as my body instinctively wants to close.

I squirm beneath him as he chases the last of my orgasm, as if he wants to memorize the taste of it.

When I come down on the other side of it, he scoops up the towel and in one fluid motion, wraps it around me.

“You can come in, Alpha,” he says.

My mouth drops open. “Wait. Was he there the entire time?”

“Not the entire time,” Cal says as he pushes the door in and steam billows out into the darkness around him. “Get dressed and meet me in the Pack House. One of my scouts just came back with a report.”

Bran scowls. “And?”

“And…” Cal sighs. “Arion just came through the gate. And he brought an army of fae with him.”