37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Cassius

“ S on.” My father’s voice was laced with concern. It had been since Thea died nearly a year ago. It physically hurt to breathe when she wasn’t here. How did they expect me to answer them?

“Do you want me to bring you food?” my mother tried.

I just shook my head and pulled the covers up over my head. They didn’t leave. They hadn’t left me alone for longer than a few hours. I think I’ve left mine and Thea’s room less than five times in the past year. This has been the worst time of my life.

Flashes of Thea’s beautiful face plagued me. I squeezed my eyes tightly, trying to hold in the pain. I knew I would be seeing her again soon, but the pain at this moment was all-consuming. My body craved her touch, her laugh, her smile, and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt so tired all the time, which seemed ridiculous because I didn’t do anything but sleep. Every time I opened my eyes, I saw memories of Thea. She haunted me, no matter where I was. It was too much to bear. I just wanted my wife back.

I heard my parents get up and leave, murmuring something about checking on me later. They hated seeing me like this, but nothing made me want to do anything. Unless Thea magically appeared in my room, I planned to stay in bed until she left Exile for the trials.

Someone shuffled into my room, but I didn’t bother seeing who it was. A moment later, they lay in bed beside me, and my heart pumped with anticipation. No one ever came and lay in bed with me. Thea?

I ripped the blanket off my head and groaned when I saw Haden smiling. He shoved food into his mouth as he sat up against the headboard. I threw the blankets back over my head. Haden was a pain in my ass. He lingered more than anyone else. I rubbed my marriage bond on my arm for comfort. I didn’t feel Thea through it often, and when I did, she was always confused and sad.

“Cassius, talk to me.” Haden pleaded, but I didn’t respond. The blanket was yanked off my head, and I glared at Haden, ready to punch my friend in the face.

“What the fuck?” I hissed.

“Do you think Thea wants you moping around? Get your ass up,” he demanded like he was the Prince of Crimson.

“I can’t.” I fell back onto the bed and stared at Haden’s concerned face. “I cannot stop thinking of her dying in my arms,” I confessed.

Haden frowned as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “I think about it too,” he said. “But she wouldn’t want us torturing ourselves.”

I knew he was right, but I still felt angry and wanted everyone to be angry like I was, so I lashed out at him.

“You don’t understand. You didn’t lose the woman you love!” I yelled so loudly that the walls seemed to shake with my wrath.

Haden looked at me. Something passed over his features that I couldn’t decipher. “Maybe the woman I love isn’t dead, but I still lost her.” Haden glanced away from me. Gods, I was a fucking prick. “But I know what it’s like to long for someone you can’t have, to miss someone so desperately that you find it impossible to breathe.”

“I didn’t know you loved anyone,” I muttered, feeling like a complete asshole.

“I loved Della with everything I had, and she betrayed me.” Haden glanced at me with a sad smile.

“Della?” I sat up a little more. “As in Ardella, the Goddess of Life?”

“Yes,” Haden sighed. “Even though she isn’t dead, she might as well be because I can never have her. I can never forgive her, but this longing for her will not go away.” I stared at Haden as he seemed lost in a bad memory. How the fuck did Haden fall in love with a goddess? I rubbed my eyes as I shifted to sit next to him on the edge of the bed.

“One day, I expect you to tell me how you and Della came to know each other.”

Haden nodded as both of us stared at the wall, thinking about the women we loved, aware that we couldn’t do anything to bring them back at the moment. But Thea would be coming for the trials soon if all went according to plan. That was enough to motivate me to get up and put on my uniform. Haden smiled brightly as he followed me out of the room.

“Thea will be breaking her curse this time. I need to be ready to help her in any way I can, and I can’t do that by rotting away in bed,” I said to Haden.

“Let’s get ready to break this curse.” He smiled as he patted my shoulder. “I know it’s hard, but you’ve got me. I’ll do anything for you. You gave me a reason to live when you approached me during the trials. You could have killed me, but for one, I can’t die, and for two, you took a chance on me. I’m grateful for you and Thea.”

I stopped mid-stride and glanced at Haden. “What do you mean you can’t die?” I asked.

“Della cursed my soul, too. I can’t die.” He shrugged as if it weren’t a big deal. “It’s a long story.”

“You know that I’ll always be here to listen if you need it,” I said.

“I know, man, but first, let’s save our girl.” Haden mocked me with the taunt he used during the trials to piss me off. "Just kidding." He smiled brightly.

★★?★★

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, wishing Thea was next to me. I thought of all the things we would do once she broke the curse. I looked forward to simply sleeping beside her, rubbing my hands along her soft skin, and hearing her voice. She always used to tell me stories as we lay awake at night. I could listen to her talk forever and never tire of the sound.

Cassius? Cassius, my love? Her voice called into my mind, and I instantly closed my eyes, going to her in her dream.

My heart ached as I watched her wander the woods of Exile, as if she were searching for something or... someone. Nearly every dream she had was of her wandering, looking completely lost. Her pretty, moss-colored eyes stared directly into the shadows where I hid. I smiled softly.

My wife could sense me nearby but didn’t know who I was. Her head tilted to the side, causing her dark hair to tumble over her shoulder. Gods, she was breathtaking.

“I can see you,” she muttered.

I froze. She didn’t often see me in her dreams, and when she did, she never seemed to remember me.

“Come out, coward.”

A soft chuckle escaped me, and she stilled at the sound. I stepped out of the shadows and watched her eyes trace over me, as they always did when she saw me. I could see her pupils dilate, her breathing becoming shallow. I never tired of seeing her reaction to me for the first time. I smiled at her, and she smiled back as if she couldn’t help it. A moment later, she took a hesitant step toward me.

“Are you what I’ve been looking for?” she whispered.

Her words made my throat tighten with emotion. Yes. I’m what you’re missing. She slowly raised her hand to my face, tracing over my jaw and lips. She had done this each time I saw her in her dreams. She never remembered me. This had never happened before, and it terrified the hell out of me. What if she remembered nothing about me when she left Exile this time?

I gripped her hand and kissed her palm, just as I had done all those years ago on the blood moon.

“Your eyes…” She stared into them intensely. “They’re so familiar.”

Her hand rubbed against my cheek, and I closed my eyes, leaning into her touch like a man starved. I couldn’t stand it. My hand wrapped around her wrist, and I yanked her so she was flush against me. She didn’t resist. I swept her wild curls over her shoulder before grabbing her face and pulling her in for a kiss. Thea melted against me, kissing me back. She moaned softly as I deepened the kiss. Giving her one last lingering kiss, I pulled back.

“Yes, little viper, I’m what you’ve been searching for,” I whispered. “I’ve missed you.”

It didn’t matter if I told her; she wouldn’t remember when she woke up. Dread filled me because she was so different this time in her dreams. It felt as if she had forgotten me completely.

“Little viper,” she repeated the nickname as if it were familiar.

I smiled as I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. Thea frowned deeply as she looked at me.

“What’s wrong?”

“I wish you were real,” she confessed, breaking my heart.

I felt our connection fading, meaning she was waking up.

“I love you,” I whispered as she slipped away. Her mouth fell open in surprise.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to hold on to the moment she was in my arms. But as soon as I opened them, tears stung as I realized I was alone in our room, haunted by the memory of my wife.