30. Chapter 30
Chapter 30
M y eyes drifted around mine and Cassius’ room. I had been rotting in bed all day. How did I mention to him that I knew he was my husband?
A burst of curiosity overcame me. Standing up, I surveyed the room and started digging through things. I found some old love notes in Cassius’ drawer and mine, but I needed more proof that we were actually something.
Getting down on all fours, I glanced under the bed and smiled triumphantly at the box as I dragged it out. Opening it, I stared at the portraits of him and I. All of them showed us smiling together. My eyes traced over myself in all of them. I looked... happy. And in everyone, Cassius was looking at me like I hung the stars and the moon.
I kept going through them, each one making me smile more than the last. When I saw the last one, I stared at it for a long time. Cassius was wearing traditional Crimson robes, his crown on top of his head. A red crown tattooed his skin—my marriage bond to him. Then my eyes drifted to the beautiful crimson red dress I wore; a red crown adorned my head, and a crown bond was visible on my wrist.
This was our wedding.
My heart pounded wildly in my chest. We looked so fucking happy. My chest was tight with a feeling I didn’t understand. I stood to go find him. Why didn’t he tell me we were married? He continued not to tell me anything. The thought upset me. My steps slowed as I realized it was my fault. I hadn’t let him explain anything to me because I was a coward. With a new sense of determination, I headed toward the training fields. Cassius was back to working the men all day long.
Della’s words circled in my mind.
Husband.
Marriage.
Is this what my mother saw when she glimpsed my future? Is this why she sought out Cassius all those years ago?
Even with the sun shining so brightly that I could hardly see, I knew which man was Cassius immediately. I approached the field, realizing that I hadn’t really thought through what I was going to say. Courage bloomed in my chest. I would not back down from this. Maybe learning the truth would set me free to not feel so bad about still wanting Cassius.
My feet slowed when I saw him, shirtless, fighting Haden in hand-to-hand combat. My body flooded with lust at the sight of him. The men in the field recognized my presence immediately and bowed.
Cassius’ words from a few days prior hit me. They will listen to you. You’re royalty. Cassius and Haden stopped when I spoke.
“For the love of gods, stop bowing at me.”
Cassius turned to me, his eyes bright with happiness—just like our wedding portrait. My confidence wavered slightly. I could handle this. I could do this.
“Show me your communication bond,” I called out to him with a small waver in my voice.
His dark brows knitted together, but he listened to me. Dark shadows swirled around his arm, and a red crown appeared. Something about seeing the mark made my chest tight with longing. He was mine. Thoughts of claiming him as mine plagued me.
A memory flashed before my eyes. Cassius kissed me on our wedding day. As he pulled away, he smiled and whispered, “My wife.”
I shook the thought away.
“My love, is something wrong?”
Was something wrong? My eyes glanced at all the men watching me and Cassius. My chest tightened with worry at their peering glances. I stood taller and lifted my chin. The move had Cassius smirking slightly.
“Thea Valeska.” I narrowed my eyes at him, and his face paled. “That is what the Goddess of Life called me last night when she visited. Thea Valeska, your wife!”
The guards all shifted their eyes to Cassius. My eyes caught on Leer, who was in formation. The news seemed shocking to only him. The other guards, though, didn’t bat an eye.
“My…”
“Don’t,” I sighed. “Communication bond…you mean marriage bonds.” I held up the portrait of us at our wedding.
Sadness floored me at the sight of Cassius. He looked so heartbroken as he looked over the portrait. He glanced away from me before swallowing hard.
“I just didn’t want to upset you more.”
My eyes traced over the portrait in my hands, and I frowned because I couldn’t remember. Then, like an arrow through my heart, something snapped inside of me as I looked at him again. The red crown marking him as mine made me feel feral, wild with lust.
“Thea…” Cassius muttered like he knew exactly what was happening to me. It was like an itch that couldn’t be scratched unless I touched him. “We should talk first.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t wait. My magic rose in my chest the more I looked at my husband, simmering just under the surface but longing to burst free. The longer I had to admire him shirtless, with my mark on him, made the need unbearable. My eyes glanced around at the guards still watching us.
“Go, you’re all dismissed for the day!” I yelled. Haden tried to stifle his smile, but it was a losing battle as he patted Cassius on the shoulder.
“Actually, take today and tomorrow,” I corrected myself.
Cassius smiled this time. The guards all bowed their heads and departed quickly. Cassius watched me closely, as if I were the hunter and he was my prey.
“I want to hear you say it…” I demanded. My darkness swarmed inside of me at the sight of him. It practically clawed at me to go take what was ours. “I want to hear that I’m your mate, your wife.”
Cassius’ chest rose and fell in quick breaths as he watched me slowly approach him. His pretty golden eyes didn’t shy away from mine.
“You’re Thea Valeska, my wife. Future Queen of Crimson. My mate. My queen.” His voice came out in a rasp.
I couldn’t help the smile that tugged on my lips.
“Then kneel for your queen.”
Cassius’ eyes swarmed with black at my demand. He took two steps toward me before he fell to his knees in front of me. When I was finally close enough to touch, his hands grabbed my hips and pulled me forward so he could rest his head against my stomach.
“Gods above, Thea. I can feel how much you want me. It’s almost crippling,” he breathed heavily as his hands gripped me tightly.
“Why can’t I feel you through the bond?”
His face tilted up to me, a sad look in his eyes. He lifted his wrists, and I saw what looked like thin red bracelets burned into his skin.
“You burned these into my wrists. A form of punishment from that day in the clearing.” I traced the red burns softly. Flashes of that day hit me, but they couldn’t make this want—no, this need— for him to go away. My fire rose up and swirled around his wrist, taking the damage I had done back and making the burns all but disappear.
I stumbled back as the onslaught of his emotions hit me. Sadness, pain, love, understanding, longing, grief, and anger all swarmed from the bond and straight into my chest.
“You took them away, why?”
“I want to feel you,” I whispered. My skin was hot, and I couldn’t wait anymore. I flung myself at Cassius, knocking the two of us to the ground. Our magic swirled around us, shielding anyone from seeing me ripping the clothes from our bodies.
“My love…” Cassius groaned as my hand stroked down his hard length. Fuck. My heart was thumping so loudly in my ears. I needed to claim him, taste him, touch him. It was all too overwhelming. I leaned forward, my tongue running up the length of him before shoving him into my mouth.
“Fuck,” Cassius sighed loudly in response. His fists clenched tightly at his sides. My hand moved in tandem with my mouth, and I could see the muscles of his stomach clenching with each stroke. Cassius wrapped my dark hair in his hands but didn’t take control.
His heavy breathing had me pulling away from him. His golden eyes were gone, replaced with black depths of lust and longing.
“I want to cum with you,” I breathed quietly as I straddled his hips. Cassius was about to say something, but I sank down on him, making his mouth tense shut. His hands squeezed my hips as his eyes closed tightly.
“Did you miss me when I was gone?” I asked as I slowly lifted myself up. His eyes found mine, giving me a sexy smile.
“I always miss you, wife.”
The word sent a shot of lust straight to my core. The need was already building into something bigger than I had ever experienced.
He sat up and took my mouth with his. His kiss was hard and demanding. I pulled him closer to me so he couldn’t stop kissing me. His hands skimmed across my naked back and down my ass, grabbing fists full of flesh, so I was riding him harder. His lips moved down my jaw and neck.
“I fucking missed you so much, my love,” he whispered against my skin. His tongue moved over my nipple before he sucked it into his mouth.
“Fuck,” I groaned loudly and tangled my fingers into his hair. My hips were rolling slowly into his. It was almost too much emotion, too much want. Cassius’ deep exhale hit my wet skin, making me shiver.
“Fuck,” he growled as his fingers squeezed my flesh.
He laid back down on the ground and watched as I slid up him and sank back down slowly. His eyes flashed black as his stomach muscles clenched. He closed his eyes tightly and clenched his jaw. I slammed myself down on him.
“Watch me,” I demanded. His eyes flew open, and lust shot through our bonds. “Look at how well we fit together, Cassius.”
“Thea.” It was half a plea and half a wicked promise.
“Did you think about me while we were apart?”
“Yes,” he groaned.
“Did you think about me riding you?”
“Fuck, Thea. You’re going to make me cum before you.”
I smiled down at him, and his eyes traced over my face slowly. Love filled our bond. Suddenly, he flipped us without warning, and I yelped. His hands now held my wrists firmly to the ground above my head. His hips rolled slowly into me. Now he was teasing me, but I fucking loved it.
“I miss hearing you, my love. All those filthy noises you make for me,” he whispered close to my face. His lips caressed mine softly, teasing. “Watching you come completely undone by me is my favorite view. Watching you take everything I give you and still beg for more is my undoing.”
“Cassius,” I breathed heavily. I was climbing quickly. “Please.”
“More,” he demanded, and his hips picked up pace. “I want to hear more. Give me what I want, and I’ll make you cum.”
My eyes clenched tightly as his hand snaked to my jaw and held me tightly. I could hear whimpers falling from my lips with each thrust into me.
“Fuck, yes,” I groaned when his teeth skimmed my skin and bit me softly. The sensation was pushing me closer and closer to orgasm. He did it again as his hand squeezed my jaw. Our thrusts were frantic, chaotic, perfect.
“Come on, my love. I need you to finish,” he begged. “I need to feel that tight pussy clench around me.” His hand clenched my jaw. “I want to hear you say I’m yours. Call me your mate, your husband.”
My eyes could hardly focus on his handsome face as the cusp of my orgasm teetered on the edge.
“You're mine, Cassius. My mate, my husband, my love.”
“Good fucking girl,” he growled.
His name tore through my throat as I came harder than I imagined possible. Cassius groaned a sigh of relief as he came with me. His weight crushed me to the ground as we rode out waves of pleasure together. Cassius’ face was buried into my neck, kissing softly as I breathed frantically. We lay there for a few silent moments, our hearts beating in tandem.
Cassius pulled back and looked over me, but sadness filled the bond. He pulled away from me and grabbed his things.
“What are you doing?” I breathed.
“Seeing your mark on me made you want me. It’s part of the reason I hid it from you. I want you to come to me because you truly love me, because you can forgive what I did.”
My eyes watched him closely. The mark on his arm made lust shoot through me again. For fuck’s sake, I didn’t think I could ever get enough of him.
“Cassius…”
“We aren’t doing this again until you’re willing to talk to me and listen to my side of the story.” He frowned at me. “There is still so much you don’t know.”
But what if I couldn’t forgive him? What if I heard what he said and hated him? I almost didn’t want to know because it would make everything so... final. He started walking away as I slipped my clothes on. My chest squeezed tightly.
“You’re seriously leaving?”
“I must, Thea. If I let you make me believe that you love me back, then it will destroy me if you decide I’m not worthy of you. There will be no coming back for me if I go through that. If you choose to let me go, I will never be able to recover.”
The fear and pain that came through the bond made me stop and let him go. He was right; I would have to face the truth about all of this. Fear suddenly stole my ability to breathe. Slowly, I made my way back to the castle and to our room. There was fresh food on the counter, and someone had cleaned the bedroom while I was out. I laid down in bed and stared at the dark clouds moving in, knowing I was ready to talk with Cassius. I would go to him tomorrow.