12 Heartbreak & Hook Ups

Ember

Fear ebbs as Onyx walks me back to his home, replaced with a self-loathing that I embrace. How could I let my mother derail the relationships that I’m building here? I bury the thought that it’s all temporary anyway. It’s getting easier to pretend that this is home.

The cabin is warm and bright with buttery afternoon light. Clove works in the kitchen, flour dusting her apron. Onyx’s hand runs down my back reassuringly.

“Can you see when Jasper and the Alphas are free to talk?” I ask, my voice soft. Onyx nods and pulls out his phone .

Instead of fretting over the upcoming discussion, I ask Clove if I can help with her baking. After a few minutes, my shoulders ache with the repetitive motion of kneading the bread, but it’s soothing.

Clove pulls the first batch of loaves out of the oven just as I set my second loaf into a pan to rise. The scent of nutty flour reminds me of Onyx, but also of his entire family. How would my life have been different if I had been raised in a supportive environment like this?

Onyx comes up behind me, putting his arms around me. I tense, glancing at Clove, but she wears a mild smile, her eyebrows rising as she focuses on her work.

“Everyone is heading over,” he says into my ear.

“That was fast,” I mutter.

“You are important, not just to me,” Onyx whispers back.

“They’ve got to be sick of me taking up their time and energy.”

Onyx’s hands move to my hips, and I drop the loaf on the countertop as he spins me around to face him. He glares at me, and I swallow thickly.

“You are not a bother. You are worth it.” His conviction makes me stammer, my skin flushing. Without hesitating, he leans forward and kisses my forehead before releasing me. Onyx settles into a kitchen chair, reclined with his feet out as he watches me.

Bemused, I turn back to my work.

“Here, I’ll take over that,” Clove says, taking my place in front of the dinner rolls I’m cutting and rolling. “Sounds like your brothers are here. ”

The door clicks open and familiar voices float through the house.

“Ready?” Onyx asks.

“No.”

We take our discussion to the fire pit out back. Dappled sunshine highlights the rich, dark tones of Slate’s hair, the same color as our mother’s hair and what mine would be if I didn’t change it constantly.

Jasper sits beside me on a bench, Onyx on my other side, while Hazel and Slate sit opposite in weathered Adirondack chairs.

Tension rises in my chest, choking me. I need answers, but this discussion is bound to be painful. It would be much nicer to play house with Onyx and ignore the reality outside our bubble.

“Ember, Onyx told us your mom has been texting you and pressuring you to send her private pack information?” Slate gets right to the point.

I glare at Onyx as he produces my phone and unlocks it before handing it to Slate. How the hell did he know the code?

Slate scrolls through the texts and holds it out to Hazel and then Jasper. Jasper lets out a low growl that somehow makes me feel better. Maybe he will be sympathetic.

“Sienna is going to turn on us if it keeps her in power,” Hazel concludes.

“It won’t,” Jasper says, crossing his arms and scowling .

Slate runs his fingers through his wavy hair. “Look, I think we should send Ember back. It’s becoming a risk to our pack.”

My mouth drops open. I asked to go back, but I want it to be on my terms. Not exiled as a criminal. Beside me, Onyx is seething. I can feel his anger rolling off of him like heat.

“No, we just take precautions. Turn the phone off and take out the sim card. Let Sienna know we will keep her safe, but she isn’t going to spy for her.” Jasper says, frowning at Slate.

“How long until they take the fight here?” Slate demands.

“Will you guys just be honest and tell me everything?” I growl.

“She deserves to know,” Hazel says softly, her hand squeezing Slate’s forearm.

“If she decides she has to go home now, we’ll have to lock her up.” Jasper won’t look at me.

I throw my hands up. “Fine, I’ll just go now and find out for myself. Because I seriously doubt you guys will actually imprison me.”

Onyx grabs my hand to keep me seated. When he finally speaks, it’s cool and calm in a way that scares me. “See? If you don’t tell her, it’ll be the exact thing you were trying to avoid.”

“Unfortunately, I think you’re right.” Slate says.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you,” Onyx says.

The Alpha curls his lip, staring Onyx down until the lower ranked wolf drops his gaze .

Jasper pinches the bridge of his nose and exhales slowly. “I got word this morning that someone challenged Sienna for Alpha. She killed him, but she’s not in the best shape.”

“What?” I yelp, starting to stand. Onyx tugs me back into my seat again. My instinct is to snap at him and to free myself, but I hold it in.

“If we send anyone to help her, it gives the pack a common enemy and puts her in a weaker position,” Jasper says. His words sound like he’s been debating this for a while.

“I need to go, at least,” I argue.

“I’m sorry,” Hazel adds, “but if you go back now, they’ll use you against her. She needs to be able to fight without worrying about your safety.”

“You don’t believe I could help?” I ask flatly.

Jasper locks eyes with me, a hint of pale blue flickering in his eyes. “Do you honestly think you could take down someone like Flint or Orion?”

The sounds of the forest break the tense silence. He’s right, I couldn’t win in a fight against any of the huge males that make up the ranks of Granite Ridge. I’m powerless if they decide to no longer respect my claim as Heir.

“I know this isn’t fair,” Hazel says slowly. “But we will figure something out that doesn’t include you getting hurt.”

“What can you do if you can’t send fighters?”

Slate and Hazel exchange a look before Slate answers. “We don’t know yet. Hawthorne and Jasper have been talking to Sienna daily. They’re working on a few ideas, but nothing has come together yet.”

“Will you tell me when that happens?” I ask.

Jasper nods. “As long as you’re being reasonable, yes.”

“I’m not the unreasonable one at the moment,” I snap. With a sigh, I try again. “Fine. Keep me updated. Am I free to just hang around like I’ve been doing? Or do you want to lock me up?” Sarcasm edges my words.

“Stick close and keep Onyx with you. Not too close to the road either. I don't want to take any chances.” Slate rubs the back of his neck.

“And you’ll stay?” Jasper asks.

“For now.” It’s the only answer I’m willing to give.

“Watch her,” Slate instructs Onyx. I want to slap him, but then I remember that Hazel was snatched from their territory once. It’s possible he’s worried about my safety instead of thinking I’m a flight risk.

“I’m going to head back to keep working on this whole disaster,” Jasper says, shaking his head as he stands and brushes off his pants. “Hopefully we will have some answers soon.”

Hazel’s concerned gaze lingers on me, and I’m grateful when Onyx drapes an arm over my shoulder.

“What are you guys gonna do tonight?” she asks.

“Dunno. Hang out,” Onyx answers for us. Stomach in knots, I’m not interested in questioning him.

Hazel and Slate excuse themselves.

“What can I do to make you feel better?” Onyx asks, turning to bump his nose into my temple .

“I just want to get away from everyone,” I answer honestly. He removes his arm. “No, from everyone else. Not you.”

His pleased smile eases some of my turmoil.

“So what should we do?” His whispered question holds innuendo that brings a blush to my cheeks.

“Want to just take a walk?” I suggest. “I know we are supposed to stay close, but maybe we can head east, further from my pack?”

“Yeah, up the creek is really nice, near our border with Raven and Ironcrest packs,” Onyx says thoughtfully.

“Two legs or four?”

His gaze turns hungry. Four legs means less clothing at the destination, but he reigns himself in. “Up to you.”

“Let’s just hike it. Slower sounds nice.” I shrug. He puts up no argument, except to make sure I change into better shoes.

Five minutes later, we are walking along a faint trail I can hardly see, heading north-east. My legs aren’t as long as Onyx’s, but he slows his pace to match mine, and I stay close behind him until the trees thin.

The light through the branches takes on a pink tinge, but I don’t fear sundown in these woods with Onyx beside me.

A squirrel scampers on an overhead branch, and a robin flits past, doubling back to check on us. Onyx smiles up at it.

“Your part of the forest feels different than ours,” I murmur .

“Oh, yeah?”

“More alive.” It hurts to admit, but I’m done holding back truths from Onyx. He’s seen the worst of me.

“Strange,” he says. “Do you guys have any forest management going on?”

“No.” I frown at him. “What’s that?”

“We have Ewan. He’s a biologist and he focuses on managing our land and keeping it healthy. We’ve also got a retired gal who specializes in trees.”

“Really? How interesting.” His pack has so many jobs that our pack ignores. Someday I’ll make sure we have something like that.

The trees part into a clearing. It’s small, but the evening light streaming down paints the wildflowers in pinks and oranges. Grass bows under our feet as he leads me forward.

‘This is one of my favorite spots,” he says, hands going to my waist.

My neck cranes back as I take in the sheer magnitude of the trees surrounding us like a faerie circle. They must be ancient to be this huge.

“It’s beautiful,” I murmur.

“I’ve never brought anyone else here,” he says, lowering his head to touch our cheeks together. My eyes drift closed at the feel of his skin brushing mine.

“I think I owe you five more minutes,” I murmur.

“Five minutes,” he echoes with a grin.

I lean back to look into his eyes. “You’re the only person who has ever stood up for me like that. I’ve never felt like this with anyone else. ”

“I love the idea of you being only mine,” he purrs suggestively, pressing a kiss to my cheekbone.

I give him a soft smack on his chest. “You know what I mean. Believing things can be better. Trying to help me.”

His face goes from playful to intense, his gaze darkening. “I’m not going anywhere.”

His mouth is hot on mine, insistent and rough. He nips at my bottom lip and I grab his shirt and tug it up. He slips it over his head and tosses it aside.

We fumble with our clothes, shedding items until just our undergarments remain. My limbs are clumsy as we sink down to the ground. With an arm hooked under the small of my back, he lowers me until my head rests on the soft grass.

Onyx sits back, his gaze exploring me. My skin flushes and I try to stay still, letting him look. It’s difficult to not reach for him, but the satisfied smirk on his face makes it worth enduring the tension. And when he finally crawls toward me, I get a beautiful view of the muscles in his arms and chest moving under his skin. He is stunning. The curve of his cheekbones and the fullness of his lips are familiar to me now, and I find comfort in his dark eyes.

He breathes in against my collarbone and kisses up my neck until I can’t stand it a second longer.

Cupping his jaw, I pull his mouth to mine. One kiss melds into another and my sense of time disintegrates. Pulse resonating in my skin, I press closer to him, feeling his heart pounding in response .

Breathing hard, he breaks away, looking down at me like I’m everything to him. No one has ever looked at me like that. Am I the only one for him? Maybe I’m just the newest in a string of girls for him. Once the thought hits me, I can’t let it go.

“Onyx?” I ask. He pauses his work on my collarbone.

“Yeah?”

Nervousness rises in me, churning my stomach. I bite my lip, trying to sort through my thoughts. “Have you ever had another girlfriend?” I ask him.

With a thoughtful half-smile, he rolls onto his side, propping his head up in his hand like he’s settling in for a good conversation. “No.”

“Even a hookup?” I cross my arms over my bare breasts.

“Does what we did at that party count?” he asks. I shake my head. “Then nope.”

“Are you serious?” I blurt out.

“I’ve never seen a girl I was that interested in until you.” He states it like it’s a plain fact, no big deal.

“Oh,” I breathe out, shivering as his hand skims down my ribs and over my hips.

“What about you and Hawk?” he asks, nuzzling his nose against my jaw.

Exhaling sharply, I close my eyes and try to string words together. He’s making coherent thought rather difficult.

“It was all arranged, and he was nice enough, but it wasn’t like we were a real couple. I mean, he did the expected things like hold my hand and eat dinner with me, but I don’t think either of us wanted more. He never touched me like you do.”

When I open my eyes, he’s staring into my soul. “I’ve hardly begun. I don’t want a few kisses, I want all of you.”

Every cell of my being tingles and I have to bite down on my lip.

He watches my mouth hungrily. “You’re gorgeous,” he rasps.

“You’re a flirt,” I say, the energy between us almost unbearable. It’s a heavy pressure, and I feel like I’ll burst out of my skin.

His brows furrow, his eyes boring into me. “I want you to be my mate.”

My mind goes blank at his declaration. It’s one thing to daydream about it, but another to hear him say he wants me in that all-consuming permanent way.

Without waiting for my answer, he kisses my jaw and leaves a trail down my throat to the crook of my neck. As he bites down lightly, I gasp, grabbing onto his arm. He doesn’t break the skin and follows it with a lick that makes my toes curl.

“I’m not ready for that. Things are complicated.” I manage to say, though my body screams yes.

He grins at me, his hair falling over his forehead. “That’s not a no.”

“It’s a no for now. Ask me again when my life isn’t falling apart around me.”

“What about tomorrow?”

“Onyx!” I pinch the skin on his shoulder and he growls, snapping at my hand .

“Alright, I guess I can wait,” he says, sighing dramatically.

I swat at him again, a laugh escaping me. He’s so handsome with filtered light dancing across the bridge of his nose and the curve of his lips.

Threading my fingers through his hair, I admire him. On his brother, their square features look like an old movie star. On him, they’re rougher with sharp edges. To me, he’s perfect. And he wants me.

“So now that I have you alone, finally, what do you want to do?” he asks, a certain kindness in his voice. He’s letting me take the lead and set the boundaries. That might be a mistake.

Looking boldly into his eyes, I say, “Everything.”

He smirks. “Too bad you didn’t agree to be my mate.”

My lip curls into a snarl at the teasing.

“I suppose we can compromise. Call it a preview.”

He’s already moving, his hands gripping my ribs to keep me in place. I let out some sort of strangled whine at the words, and I can feel his dark laugh against my skin as he closes his mouth over the delicate skin at my waist.

“A preview?” I question with a hoarse laugh.

His hand slides between my legs, testing and teasing over the fabric. I let out another whine that destroys what’s left of my dignity. It doesn’t matter, all I need is him.

Slowly, his fingers slip up and down until I’m trembling and trying to press myself against him. His tongue licks below my belly button .

“Onyx, seriously,” I beg in a desperate whisper.

His fingers thread under my panties and plunge into my core. The shock and pleasure overwhelm my senses and my back arches. He strokes inside me as he looks up to watch my reactions.

My thoughts scramble, unable to function under his onslaught. My hands close over his shoulder, my nails digging into his skin.

He pauses. “Do you want me to stop, or do you want more?”

“Don’t,” I gasp, “stop.”

He chuckles and resumes, turning his hand and trying angles until he gets an embarrassing moan out of me. Eyes screwed shut, I only see stars, so I gasp when he flips me over and pulls at my hips until I lift up onto hands and knees.

“Can you stay like this?” he murmurs against my skin, his tongue dragging up my spine like my skin is sugar.

“Yeah.” My back arches at the feel of him.

Bending over me, his hand curls under until he hones in on my clit. His soft but insistent touch threatens to shatter me, and I press my ass back into him.

It’s overwhelming as he begins moving his hips, grinding his cock against my ass through his boxers. If we just removed the clothes between us… I can’t get enough air, gasping as he ruts into me.

His movements slow as he focuses on what he’s doing with his hands. Two fingers dip back into me, and I almost fall forward. Only his growled command keeps me from faceplanting .

With his other hand he slides his finger over my clit over and over, working me into a frenzy. Pleasure burns hotter through me, becoming an unbearable pressure. His fingers against me, inside me, the weight of him pressing into me. I’m so close to release.

I want to live in this moment forever, but I can barely tolerate it for these few seconds. His teeth clamp down on my juncture of neck and shoulder, holding there and barely pricking the skin, showing he could mark me as his mate - and I know in that moment if he broke the skin with his teeth, the magic would take and I would be his.

But he doesn’t. Instead, he sucks the skin to leave a hickey. The hint of pain layered over the immense pleasure of his touch is the last thing I can take.

Cursing like a sailor, I break, shaking and tensing against the onslaught of pleasure. He groans as I squeeze his fingers and he presses into me.

He braces one hand on the ground, the other under my chest to keep me from collapsing. With whispered praises and peppered kisses, he stretches out on his side and tucks me against him.

“Goddess, I wanted to claim you so badly,” he says. With a bashful grin, he scoots back and discards his boxers. I stare, realizing he came in his clothes. My cheeks prickle like I’m blushing, but my skin is already flushed. Tugging his sweats on, he cuddles up against me again.

The grassy earth shouldn’t be this comfortable, but with his biceps under my head, I could easily fall asleep. Either Onyx feels the same, or he knows how tired I am.

“Get some rest,” he instructs. “You need it. Especially with what I plan to do with you once you finally agree to be my mate.”

“Dream on,” I shoot back, barely able to string my words together.

He chuckles and presses a kiss to my ear. It’s so tempting to drift off as he settles against me. His breathing soothes me and his touch makes me feel safe.

I’m lost in a haze, coming down from what he just did to me. I turn in his arms and kiss the tip of his nose. He smiles without opening his eyes.

“Rest,” he rumbles, and I go still.

It’s so peaceful, Onyx curled around me, his arm across my stomach. Time slips by and he dozes. Sunset melts into darkness, but the almost-full moon lights up our woodland haven. There are no predators around here except us, so it’s safe for us to sleep if we wish.

Eventually someone will wonder where we are, but it’s easier to pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist.

Onyx snuggles closer in his sleep, nuzzling into my chest. My hand goes to his head and I drag my nails through his hair. It’s entirely possible I love this man.

I’d leave my pack for him.

The realization sends ice through my veins.

What would that even look like?

If I left, my mother would have to name another Heir, and by default it would be her new Beta, Orion. That would give him more power, and he already oversteps and stands against her every chance he gets.

Since things are already shaky, my mother will likely lose her position. She could be killed or maybe exiled.

If Orion or another of the males in the pack became Alpha, they would want revenge against Onyx’s pack. My mother’s lack of retaliation from our last battle is a sore spot for many of my packmates. Without her standing in the way, it’s only a matter of time until they decide to move against the Bracken Creek pack.

I have to go back. The alternative is too risky.

Onyx moves in his sleep, his arms tugging me tighter against his chest. Heat radiates off of him.

But what if I went home and he came with me? I dismiss the thought as soon as it occurs to me. My pack would see him as the enemy. His life here is wonderful, and I can’t force him into a new pack. He would be miserable and my pack would probably try to kill him.

How could I have been so stupid?

My heart hurts, pain stabbing through me worse than a physical wound. I can’t have him. There’s no way to make this work. At least, not right now. Once I am Alpha, I can repair my pack and change the culture until we can be together safely.

This bond between us grows stronger with every touch. The longer I wait, the more it will hurt to sever it.

If we will ever have a chance, I have to go back and demand the power I am due. The emotional hurt weighs me down, making planning difficult .

Watching him sleep, I can’t bear the thought of telling him. He will insist on joining me. If I’m facing my treacherous pack, I need to know he is safe here.

Slowly, I move his arm across me until it lays between us. He barely twitches. Somehow, I know if he wakes up and asks me to be his mate again, I will accept, no matter the consequences to our packs.

As softly as I can manage I move away from him and rise. There’s no need to gather my clothes, I’ll just lose them when I shift.

Hand to my chest, pressing in as if I could reduce the pain of a broken heart, I look over Onyx one last time, memorizing the shape of his mouth and the way his lashes lay against his cheeks. His hair has lighter streaks from the time we’ve been out in the sun together this last week. His breathing stays slow and even.

There’s no doubt about it. I am in love with him.

I can’t stay here a minute longer. I’ll lose my nerve.

With one last lingering glance, I sink into my wild instincts. My anger at the injustice of the situation drops away. Black fur covers my skin and in a split-second, I am a wolf.

In this form, I am graceful, weaving through the trees as I run downhill toward the border between Bracken Creek and Granite Ridge. In the back of my mind, every step leaves me screaming to go back to him, but it’s effortless to ignore.

My animal side senses every little creature in the brush around me. The night is illuminated, making my journey easy. I’d never manage as a human, but in this shape, I leap from rock to rock and cross this deeper section of creek without hesitation.

It’s time to go home and face this mess.